A/N: Just Writting for the the fun of it!

This is a more humourous side to Twilight!
I will be taking scenes from the book and make them funnier!
Hope you Like them!
Here it goes...

There were 3 things I was absolutely sure about!

First: Edward is a vampire!

Second: There was a part of him - and I'm not sure how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.

Third: I was - Wait who stole my panties?

"Who are they?" I asked the girl from my Spanish class.

"The Cullens Emmet and Edward and the Hales Rosalie and Jasper! The one who just left is Alice!"

"Which is the one with the reddish- brown hair? I asked

"That's Edward, he's gorgeous of course - *Jessica suddenly gets hit in the head by Bella with her backpack, Bella runs away screaming "He's mine biatch!"

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth." He hesitated for a moment, and a peculiar tone entered his voice. "I can't sleep."

It took me a minute to absorb that. "At all?" I wonder what he does at night? *Bella having naughty thoughts

about her and Edward!*

"What do you do at night?" I asked my curiosity getting the better of me.

"I have something to do now!"

"Edward, let me help you occupy your nights!" I said hoping to god or whoever listned that I sounded attractive!

He suddenly stopped and got out of his car and started running at human speed screaming "Rape". Uh-Oh I hope I

don't get arrested!

There were 3 things I was absolutely sure about!

First: Edward is a sexy, sparkly vampire.

Second: He might eat me.

Third: He is a crazy phycho who stalks me. (A/N: I Love Edward but I'll insult him every once in a while.)

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