Disclaimer: Own not I.

Author's Note: Before anyone makes any smart aleck comments, yes I realize this is another Alice drabble, I am still just visiting. And until I write more than drabble I will remain just visiting. That's my reasoning and I'm sticking to it. That being said, I was sleepy and wanted to write, and all I really had time for was a drabble, so there you go.

PS This is one of those stories you only get because Quality Control disagrees with me - Tin Man readers know what I'm talking about. Go ahead, agree with her if you must.


Hatter didn't really consider himself to be a fighter. It might have something to do with the amount of cuts and bruises he tended to acquire in the process of a bout of fisticuffs, but he'd never really learned to enjoy the manly pursuit of breaking ones knuckles on another man's jaw. Besides, he might mess up his pretty face. Wouldn't that be a shame? And those honourable struggles to the death against impossible odds for the greater good of everyone else? Forget it. They just – with one glaring exception – weren't for him. No, it was fair to say that Hatter wasn't a fighter.

That was not to say he couldn't fight, however. He had his sledgehammer of a fist after all, and knew how to use it, should the situation arise. Growing up in Wonderland, you couldn't not learn how to fight, he just generally chose not to. Unless someone was threatening the only thing to have ever wandered through the Looking Glass and made his life worthwhile that is. Do that and Hatter was more than willing to help topple your kingdom or reduce your head into a jigsaw of pottery shards. Yes, given sufficient provocation Hatter, peaceable fellow that he was, could give you as good a fight as the next person, indeed maybe even a better one...

...thing was, he considered, dodging to the side to avoid an unfortunate brawler's short flight into a table, it was so much more fun to watch Alice do the fighting for him. Giving the downed man a little encouragement to stay that way, the Wonderlander leaned back against the bar, retrieved his tea cup and settled in to watch as his Oyster converted another man's attempted punch into an impromptu introduction to the wall.

He could help, he supposed, but Alice seemed to be doing alright on her own, he'd probably just get in the way. Besides, they'd attacked him for no reason whatsoever, so it was only fair to let them deal with the fighter in the relationship. The Wonderlander could always intervene if the men did something unforgivable – like manage to land a punch – so he contented himself with sipping his tea and watching Alice-Not-of-Legend bounce a man twice her size off two different tables in quick succession.

"Hatter," Alice growled in exasperation as she dropped her last opponent with a quick kick to the head, "you can't tell people on this side of the Looking Glass that they're mad as a box of frogs," huffing for emphasis she added, "especially if they're French."