This sort of thing slips out of my brain a lot easier than more serious work }:( It's not fair and is a sad comment on my brain.
Chapter 2: Second Customer of the Day
Since she had nothing better to do, she sat across from the Ishvalan at one of the little bistro tables and watched him try to put together a cardboard brochure holder. She watched his hands. They were strong, capable hands—not, however, capable enough to put the brochure holder together.
"Oh, for pete's sake! Give me that!" she cried finally, snatching it out of his hands. "Look. You put tab A into slot B!"
"Are you sure?" the Ishvalan asked dubiously.
"Of course." She slid him a sideways look. "I know all about getting tab A into slot B." She handed him a perfectly constructed brochure holder. "Maybe you just need some practice."
"It's possible," the Ishvalan admitted. "I have several of these to distribute."
"I'd be more than happy to guide you along," Lust suggested.
The bell above the door tinkled again and Lust looked up in surprise. Entering the doughnut shop was a gentleman elegantly dressed in an immaculate white suit with a lavender power tie and an expensive looking overcoat. Seeing Lust, he gallantly doffed his fedora.
"Good morning," he announced.
Lust looked him up and down appreciatively. She noticed he had a pony tail. Nice. Something to hang onto. She stood up so he could look her up and down appreciatively, which he did. The Ishvalan looked him up and down as well, but not so appreciatively, more like he was picturing him nailed to a wall with shards of metal with his belly slit open and steaming entrails hanging out of his gut.
"Oh, excuse me," the Ishvalan sneered. "Did I say that out loud?"
"No," the Gentleman replied with a thin smile. "But your look spoke volumes."
"Last time I saw you, you didn't look so trim," the Ishvalan observed. "I seem to recall something about a lead pipe in the parlor car."
"Oh, do you two know each other?" Lust asked. "Gosh, it really is a small world after all!"
The Gentleman looked at her indulgently. "We have a little history. Oh, excuse me!" He removed a pale lavender glove from his hand and plucked a morsel of maple cruller from her bosom. He licked it off the tip of his finger. "I didn't think you'd want that there."
"Oh!" Lust tried to blush, but remembered that she couldn't. "How'd that get there? I feel like an unmade bed!"
"Nothing wrong with that," the Gentleman assured her with a smile. "I've woken up in any number of unmade beds."
"Really? Me, too!" Lust gave him a playful push. "Doughnut?"
Lust's playful look dampened. "Do you want a doughnut? This is a doughnut shop."
"It is?" the Gentleman seemed genuinely surprised.
"What did you think it was?" Lust replied irritably. "The sign says Lusty-Kreme, doesn't it?"
"Well, that could mean anything, honey," the Gentleman said. "Which is why I came in. I passed by last week and there were little naked people on the sign, and I thought, oh, I need to check this place out!"
"He thought it was a den of sin," the Ishvalan remarked distastefully.
Lust rolled her eyes and waved her hand. "Well, duh! I also sell doughnuts."
"So, what brings you to this den of sin?" the Gentleman asked the Ishvalan. "Not exactly your scene, is it?"
"I go where the word of God is needed the most," the Ishvalan said, rising to his feet and placing the brochure holder on the counter.
The Gentleman took one of the brochures and gave it a cursory glance. "Hmm. I don't know, honey," he said to Lust. "Kind of a downer. This might put people off their doughnuts."
"Oh, I don't think it's really going to hurt business that much," Lust said with a shrug and a wink at the Ishvalan.
The Gentleman made an elaborate show of looking around the shop. "Business looks a trifle…thin, shall we say?"
Lust frowned and folded her arms petulantly. "So?"
The Gentleman gave her a winning smile. "It's quite possible that I may have the very thing to give your business a little stimulation."
"Really?" Lust asked excitedly. "What is it? Tell me, tell me, tell me!"
"I just so happen to be in possession of a commercial grade, maximum capacity Amestrian cream extruder."
Lust squealed rapturously and clapped her hands. "Really? How does it work?"
"If you'd care to show me to your back room, I'll be happy to give you a free demonstration."
"That's disgusting!" the Ishvalan cried in outrage. "It's at least a health department violation! Young woman!" he pleaded with Lust. "Don't let this viper infiltrate your back room. You have no idea where he's been!"
"Where haven't I been?" the Gentleman told Lust in a conspiratory undertone, to which Lust giggled.
"Don't take him into your confidence!" the Ishvalan warned. "He will only lead you down the road to ruin!"
"Oh, honey!" Lust gave him a wink. "I'm the one who paved that road with broken glass and thumbtacks. I know where to step."
The Ishvalan spread his hands imploringly. "You can make your way back! It's never too late!"
"Well, in that case, I've got plenty of time, don't I?" Lust turned back to the Gentleman. "So this extruder of yours. Does it come with a lifetime guarantee?"
"Hardly!" the Ishvalan sneered before the Gentleman could reply. "Unless you want your doughnuts to taste like Viagra."
The Gentleman's smile disappeared and he took off his other glove. "Do you remember when I said that we'd finish this next time, preacher man?"
The Ishvalan clenched his right hand. "I remember," he growled dangerously.
"Well, guess what? It's next time!"
"Bring it, don't sing it!"
Lust chuckled with satisfaction as she went around the back of the counter to give them more room and to find something to snack on during the show. She loved it when men fought over her. What a nice day this was turning out to be!