A/N: Damn plotbunnies. Don't ask where this one came from – apparently I like making single men take care of kids. Not going to be a serious fic, and not going to be updated regularly. Just whenever I think of an amusing situation to put everyone in.
Summary: When Gabriel is tasked with caring for a child, he immediately knows that this isn't a good idea. So he instead sends the kid to someone he knows is mature and responsible enough – Castiel. This can only end in tears.
Warnings: Seriously screwing with ages? Nothing other than that.
Disclaimer (Which I often forget to put in): HP and SPN are not mine. More's the pity.
The angel in question looked up at Uriel, raising an eyebrow. He had been listening to a conversation between the Winchesters and hoping to learn more about how they interacted when his superior appeared next to him.
"Gabriel has contacted Heaven. He wishes to meet with you at a hotel in New York City."
"Me?" Castiel asked, surprised, even as he stood to leave. "Did he say why?"
"No. Said that we could send as many angels as we wanted, as long as you were one of them."
"Very well," Castiel nodded, and the two angels disappeared.
They reappeared seconds later outside of a hotel room, where two others were already waiting. Uriel immediately took control of the situation.
"Is he inside?"
"We saw him enter earlier, but we don't know for sure," the female responded.
"Very well. Let's go."
The next instant the four were standing inside the room – which held a conspicuous lack of archangel-turned-trickster. There was, however, a young boy no more than a year old, asleep inside a playpen. Taped to the outside was an envelope with Castiel's name on it.
"Where is he?" Uriel hissed.
"Apparently, not here," Castiel spoke softly as he removed a letter from the envelope and started reading.
Hi little brother!
By now I'm sure you've noticed that I've pulled one over on our other siblings. Again. Seriously, they don't even pose much of a challenge any more. Good thing the humans are so versatile or I'd be bored.
The kid is Teddy Lupin. His family are dead, and his godfather can't take care of him. Too many issues of his own to risk having a kid around. Add in the fact that the kid's parents were a werewolf and a metamorphmagus… no one else would take the kid. So the godfather asked me to take care of him, but as has been noted before (several times by you), I'm not much more than an overgrown kid myself.
So I thought, who's the most mature person I know? Someone responsible, someone who'll keep the kid safe from the evils that still chase his godfather? And then it came to me.
So I'm leaving him in your care. I'm sure you'll make a great dad to the little one.
Best of luck,
Castiel turned to look at the young child again. He still slept, even with the presence of the angels around him. Carefully, Castiel leant over and picked up the boy, not really sure of what he was doing.
"Castiel, what's going on?" Uriel demanded angrily. Castiel looked back blankly for a moment before responding.
"I just became a father."
"Cas!" Dean shouted, angry at the lack of angelic guidance the last several days. "Cas, get your feathery butt down here!"
"Dean," the angel spoke softly, causing Dean to spin around. He opened his mouth to tear into the angel, before spotting what he was holding.
"Dude…" he was momentarily at a loss for words.
"Yes?" Castiel tilted his head slightly, waiting for Dean to get to the point.
"You're holding a baby," the hunter deadpanned. "Why are you holding a baby?"
"Because his godfather entrusted him to an angel who is not known for his good decisions. He passed Teddy on to me. I shall be raising him."
"Oh… okay…" Dean was thoroughly confused by now. "You're a dad?"
"Okay then." It took a few minutes before Dean's mind would work again. "I guess that's what you've been doing the past few days?"
"Yes," Castiel nodded. "I had not realised that children need such supervision."
"Just wait til he's walking," Dean muttered. "They get into everything."
"I shall keep that in mind."
The two stared at each other for a little longer, before Castiel gently shifted the bundle in his arms a little.
"Was there something you wanted, Dean?"
"Uh, yeah, about that…" Dean trailed off. He couldn't for the life of him remember what it was he'd been calling the angel for. "I… I got nothing. You go back to caring for the midget, I'll talk to you later."
"As you wish," Castiel nodded and disappeared, leaving a very confused hunter behind.
"Castiel's got a kid… Huh. Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd say."