"Of course not, Isabella" The way he pronounced my name made me swoon. "Take as many as you want, and then when you have blood dripping from your hands I'll stalk you through my house" He whispered fiercely in my ear. "And hunt you down like prey"

A high society party with a twist. Welcome to the Birthday Massacre. One-shot.

Inspired by The Birthday Massacre Happy Birthday

I think my friend said, "I hear footsteps"

I wore my black and white dress to the birthday massacre

Birthday massacre, birthday

I wore my black and white dress

I think my friend said, "Stick it in the back of her head"

I think my friend said, "Two of them are sisters"

"I'm a murder tramp, birthday boy," I think I said

"I'm gonna bash them in, bash them in," I think he said

Then we wished them all a happy birthday

We kissed them all goodnight

Now he chases me to my room, chases me to my room, chases me

In my black and red dress

I think my friend said, "Don't forget the video"

I think my friend said, "Don't forget to smile"

"You're a murder tramp, murder tramp," I think he said

"You're a murder boy, birthday boy," I think I said

I think my friend said, "Stick it in the back of her head"

I think my friend said, "Two of them are sisters"

"I'm a murder tramp, birthday boy," I think I said

"I'm gonna bash them in, bash them in," I think he said

I think my friend said, "Don't forget the video"

I think my friend said, "Don't forget to smile"

"You're a murder tramp, murder tramp," I think he said

"You're a murder boy, birthday boy," I think I said

- Happy Birthday, The Birthday Massacre

The Birthday Massacre

I played with the pearls resting in the base of my ivory skinned neck, smiling secretively at my reflection, the cunning smile and empty eyes. Crimson lips. Chalky cheeks and deep chocolate eyes rimmed with smoky eyeliner. Crystal water trickled from the golden faucet as I washed my hands, wanting my nails to be a smooth polished shine, gleaming as I did my job perfectly.

I walked across the white-tiled bathroom, black heels tapping the floor as I dried my hands with a soft fluffed towel. There was a rap at the door, a loud knocking.

"Isabella?" His voice drawled, a smidgeon worried. I inwardly scoffed, teasing a walnut coloured curl around a ring-adorned finger as I opened the bathroom door.

My backstabbing friend Jasper Whitlock stood at the door, tall and blonde and every inch a southern gentlemen. Well, we'll see who ends up with their back stabbed.

I smiled demurely, holding out one hand which he obediently took with a flourish, looping it around his and squeezing. His baby blue eyes were sharp with curiosity, palms damp and moist with sweat.

"Curiosity killed the cat" I mused and his eyes flickered to mine confused.

"Pardon?" He asked, coughing nervously.

I smiled, showing my teeth. Perhaps it was too manic to be considered reassuring, as Jasper frowned, tiny crease appearing on his smooth forehead.

I patted his arm, his expensive Italian suit, and walked joyously as he led me through the rabbit's warren of red-carpeted hallways with million dollar portraits and sculptures.

"I think I heard something" Jasper said, pausing and listening intently. I trailed my fingers down his arm, distracting him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I cooed as I led him into the empty living room.

"I'm confused Isabella, tell you what exactly?" Jasper enquired, pacing over to the wine bottle conveniently laid out by the side. Pouring some into a glass he knocked it back, licking his lips with vigour. I raised one slim eyebrow as I sauntered forward, hands playing with the knick-knacks Edward had left previously scattered, a notebook and pen, yesterday's newspaper. I wondered what tomorrows would say.

My lips tilted into a wild smirk, sweat beading down my forehead and resting on my upper lip. I licked my lips, anticipating the high euphoria that would surely rain down on me once Jasper Whitlock was dead.

He grinned at me secretively, coming towards me as smooth and cat-like as myself. We locked eyes.

Yes, Jasper would be the first.

He was always the most… suspicious of us. Questioning every good intention, second look, innocent comment. He knew tactics, he was a military genius. I tilted my head, letting a quick merciless laugh tumble from my lips. Of course we couldn't let him live, he'd be the first to escape. Better to get him now, when he's unprepeared, unarmed...

"Why don't you tell me?" I said silkily, leaning in close, my lips inches from his ear.

He stiffened. "I have no idea what you're on about Bella"

"Reverting back to my nickname- how charming. And utterly unappealing. Why Jasper, how can I ever look at you the same after a certain…misunderstanding?"

Confusion drained from his expression, replaced by pleading. "Bella" He breathed, taking a step back. "I can explain, love"

"Tell me Jasper am I your love?" I gritted my teeth.

"Y-yes" He stuttered, pressed against the wall.

"Lies" I murmured, nails scraping the side of his face, chiselled jaw and strong cheekbones. Pity they would soon be slashed. A meaty chunk of blood.

I shivered in delight, peering out of my heavy black lashes at him.

"Please Bella, you don't know what you're doing…"

"I'm fairly confident"

He caught sight of my expression and panic flared.

"Bella what did he do to you?" He demanded. "This is not you" He shook me roughly, huge hands clamping on my shoulders as he shook. My head bobbed and I let out a cat-like wail, striking quickly. He cradled his cheek, staring at me with obvious betrayal.

I didn't care.

I crouched down so we were millimetres apart, my breath cool and whispering on his face.

"You're dying you know" I said pleasantly, my finger rubbing the rim of the small sherry glass. "The drink was poisoned Jasper. Isn't that the funniest thing you've ever heard?" I laughed softly, sitting on the sofa and staring at him as he lay slumped on the carpet, eyes unfocused.

"Soon the shivers will start…the burning as the poison trickles to your heart and then - you're dead!" I said happily, but a twinge of annoyance was stirring in me. However delightful taunting Jasper was, I wanted to do an even better job, make all of them pay even more.

Of course we didn't invite the finest young people of our neighbourhood over for a birthday party. How ridiculous! I laughed merrily at the thought; Rosalie Hale the snob practically falling over her feet with her delight at being invited to the most delicious bachelor's house ever. Edward Cullen.

I sighed lovingly, loving the caress he made when his finger was slick with blood, leaving an oozing crimson trail on my face.

He was mine, and Rosalie wanted him, and I couldn't have that.

So of course, we planned to kill her too. And everyone else who was a major or minor threat.

Jasper groaned lowly, eyelids flickering as his eyeballs rolled. His hands feebly clutched his stomach.

"I know" I said comfortingly. "You really wanted to be friends with me. But you lied to me Jasper, and hurt me. People don't do that Jasper. You don't do that to your friends…Night-night" I whispered as his eyelids closed with one last heaving shudder.

I grabbed the glass and it shattered on the table I threw it against. I used the glass to carve an intricate design of bloodied scratches on his face. Nobody would want to look at him now.

I tutted, closing his eyelids with one pointed finger before leaving. The Police would find the body soon enough. I suppose the flies will be attracted to a dead body, and that will be a clue.

A little murder mystery.

I smoothed my black and white dress, the perfect dress for an elegant party and the perfect dress for a murder. The flickers of blood that slashed the white as my prey tried to escape. My mouth watered and I hurried along the corridor. I could hear the harp's soft melody before I got to the large dining room, my eyes roaming the mahogany table laden down with china cutlery and wine glasses, shining amber in the flickering candles.

I caught Edward's eyes and my face softened for an instant before I froze with jealously. Tanya Denali and her sister Irina were there, flicking their blonde hair and pressing themselves against them. Tanya giggled, too shrill and bird-like to sound remotely attractive. I frowned and Edward excused himself, walking over to me.

I smiled as his emerald eyes lit up for me, just for me.

"I'm going to dispose of them next I assure you" His hands fluttered on my jaw and he leant in. we resisted the urge to kiss right then, succumb to desire.

"No" I whispered. "It wouldn't be right, right now. I don't quite feel…naughty enough"

"Thrilling" His lips moved on my neck.

"Sexy" I purred, fluttering my coal-black lashes.

"Murderous" He placed a cool hand on my nose, moving backwards. "How about we start the party here? We can chase them through the house…we can get the two sisters first"

"But how?" I pondered, tapping my chin. "A slashed neck, cut stomach, a bullet wound…"

"Something heavy. In company they are very dense" He chuckled in my ear and I giggled quietly.

"Whatever you want darling" I promised, stepping away from him and turning around to snuff a candle out. Alice Brandon jerked surprised, eyes glassy as she blinked before looking at me strangely, halo of inky black hair spiked up in a ragamuffin style. For the fashionable one, she should know better. I sneered, smoke billowing around me as I blew the second candle out.

"Why are you turning off the candles?" Emmett McCarty asked, brow wrinkling with confusement. Fool.

"I like the night" I said truthfully. "The darkness. The allure…the mystery. Doesn't that excite you?"

Emmett eagerly turned and blew out more, and the room instantly quietened.

"No" Rosalie snapped, stamping her foot so her golden hair rippled. "Put the main light on"

"Why? Does it scare you Rosie?" Emmet barked a harsh laugh and I puckered my lips in discontent. This was not part of the plan. Emmett McCarty was not supposed to have nicknames for that promiscuous girl, not supposed to prattle about insecurities. That was my job.

Miffed, I glided towards Edward who was in the kitchen, stroking a silver knife fondly. A bead of red pooled on his finger and I grabbed it, placing it in my mouth. I sucked it with delight and he smiled, eyes glinted fiercely.

"Oh I could have you right now, you're so ravishing…"

"Resisting the bouquet" He nuzzled me affectionately and I squirmed, dancing from his grip with a twisted smile.

"Soon, Edward. You promised me soon" I twined around him and his hands trailed the bare parts of my back sending shivers down my spine.

"It will be soon my love" He swore before turning back to the knife.

"Would you be furious if I took one from your collection?" I asked, smiling slightly as I looked at them.

So sharp.

"Of course not, Isabella" The way he pronounced my name made me swoon. "Take as many as you want, and then when you have blood dripping from your hands I'll stalk you through my house" He whispered fiercely in my ear. "And hunt you down like prey"

"And I'll turn around" I breathed. "And kiss you…or kill you"

"I wouldn't have you any other way…" He smiled in delight and I smiled before walking into the living room, dress swirling around my knees as my earrings swung from my ears, brushing against my supple neck.

Tanya and Irina Denali sat on the sofa, poised and elegant with flutes of champagne in their hands as they laughed fakely, blonde hair glimmering in the stars shining through the French windows.

Like beacons drawing you in, a siren. Calling to me.

I made my way in a daze of blurred colours, picking up the hammer and approaching stealthily. They chattered obliviously and everything was going magnificently splendid until Alice Brandon gasped. A tiny hand, trembling as it covered her agape mouth.

The hammer connected with Tanya's skull with a thick meaty sound and she gaped, blood trickling from her matted head before slumping sideways. Rosalie screamed piercingly.

"No need to be scared" I smiled widely but they backed away anyway.

"You can run" Edward appeared by my side and Tanya fell onto her sister in a tangle of limbs. I wondered curiously how their sister Katrina would react, such a pity she was ill tonight and could not attend. Perhaps she would be glad she did not come now.

"But you can't hide" I laughed wildly, throwing my head back as my curls bounced around my shoulders.

"Let's…play a game" Edward decided, throwing the knife from hand to hand recklessly as he strolled between the remaining three petrified guests, eyes showing large amounts of white from shock.

Edward looked very handsome in the moonlight, his hair shining copper as he walked to my side.

"We give you a…twenty second start. And then we catch you"

Rosalie's eyes immediately jumped to the window.

"The windows won't shatter. The doors are locked" I said pleasantly and a low moan came from her mouth.

"Why are you doing this?" Alice asked, body shaking with tremors as she sobbed.

"Don't cry" I said sharply, hand itching to slap her. "This is fun. Promise"

Edward winked and she shook her head.

"But why?" She repeated dismally, hiccupping.

"Because…" I teased, drawing out the word as I looked at Edward. "Shall we tell him honey?" I asked sweetly and he put an arm around my waist.

"Shall we indeed?"

"Wait…you two are together?" Emmett blinked, clearly confused. Rosalie narrowed her eyes balefully.

"Yes" I said in delight, relishing in the fact.

"But you're just a little poor idiot. You borrowed that dress from your mother and it doesn't even fit" Rosalie stated, smirking smugly.

Red hot rage descended on me, and I decided that I would kill her. I took a step forward menacingly.

"Run" I said simply and she glanced at me quickly before scurrying off in her high heels, tottering wildly.

Alice darted off in the opposite direction, and Emmett just stood there.

"I don't wanna die" He frowned. "Bells-"

"Don't call me that" I hissed.

"You were all invited to this party to die" Edward said smoothly. "A plain simple fact. For one reason or another, all of you have done something hurtful and we don't like to be hurt do we Bella?"

"No" I shook my head. "You can have Emmett" I curled my lip in distaste and got out my knife. "I'll go get Rosalie. Don't forget the video"

"Don't forget to smile" Edward reminded me.

I smiled to myself before running down the hallway she had recently stumbled down. I crept around corners, knife out in front of me as I whipped my head from side to side. Sliding against the wall I slid in the shadows, trying to keep my breathing quiet. I could smell fear, sticking to people's aroma as they tried to fled. I sighed. Pathetic.

You think they would at least try.

The lights had diminished to a low glow that flickered constantly adding to the gloomy atmosphere.

I loved it.

I smiled in wicked delight, edging up the flight of stairs, heels steady on the polished floor.

This is how it felt to be alive, when your pulse was throbbing in wait of the next kill. The person you hate gone from your life forever. Dizzy with frenzied excitement I listened cautiously. A scuttle in the next room. Dress swirling around me I tugged the bedroom door open. Disappointment coursed through me.



I turned around and caught sight of Rosalie's dress flicking around the corner, the aquamarine silk rippling in the breeze of sudden movement. And then it was a race, sprinting. Breath gasping through my parted lips, feet kicking off the heels to move faster, bare toes cold and skittering across the marble floor as Rosalie, blonde hair like a waterfall flowing behind her, tripped.

I smiled cruelly, grabbing her arm in a vice grip. She screamed, thrashing wildly, glossy fat tears falling down her flushed cheeks. A quick impalement on the knife stopped that.

She gasped, choking for words looking at me with deep emotion in those eyes. They were saying I hate you.

I didn't care.

"I hate you too Rosalie" I sighed in mock sympathy. "Alls fair in love and war though right?"

Clutching her gut, her talons ripped down my arm. I scoffed as they barely left a mark.

"This is something called karma Rosalie" I said softly, and through her tangled mask of hair and tears and blackened mascara face, she snarled angrily.

I shoved the knife in further, twisting it. It was fun, it didn't even seem real.

Like this was all one macabre nightmare, or fantasy.

I liked this dream a lot.

Rosalie's face pulled into a heartbreaking expression, scarlet blood pooling on her dress as I pulled out the knife with a swift tug. Blood splattered my black and white dress, turning it red. She inhaled with a gargle, hands flopping uselessly. Blood seeped from bloody bubbles in her pearly lips, trickling down her pale shiny skin. She sobbed brokenly, china-doll like expression fading to innocence as her chest heaved one last time.

I stepped over the pool of blood, squealing when my bare feet nicked the surface and I was rewarded with the slickness of life on my feet. I made red footsteps as I walked around the dark house. I was sure I looked a sight, covered in blood, feral expression. I heard shrill screams and knew Edward had caught Alice. When I reached them she was cowering in a fetal position, garbling nonsense in disjointed whispers.

She was crazy.

Face smeared with blood she looked at me, big green eyes wide with helplessness.

"Please" She faltered. "I was never mean to you Bella, I thought we were friends" Her hand held out went limp and she shut her eyes. Her face swum in and out of focus as my laugh echoed horribly.

"Make it quick" She sobbed and it was a delightful sound as her dying scream harmonized the axe Edward chopped through her with.

We carted Alice and Rosalie to the dining table, along with Tanya and Irina.

"Smile" Edward repeated as he zoomed in on the video. I grinned morbidly, putting a party hat on Tanya's drooping face. I let go of a fistful of hair and she fell into the slice of cake.

Blurs of swirling colours made me loose sense of reality.

Next thing I knew, I was smearing red lipstick on their lips.

"Kiss them goodnight" I waved to them coyly as Edward kissed their foreheads. "Maybe we should brush their hair" I suggested.

"Paint their nails"

We looked at each other and shook our heads.

"This was fun" I played with his collar and Edward turned to look at me with a savage expression, there blood shining on his face. I leant forward eagerly but he shoved me backwards.

"No…no Bella remember the game" He smiled twistedly, like the Mad Hatter and I grinned.

"I'll cut you if you cut me" I said in his ear before running off to his room. He chased me, and I twisted around, laughing loudly in delight as he swung me in the air, kissing me fiercely, passionately. He pressed me on the bed and I groaned, the knife in my hand clattering to the floor. Edward's axe hovered on my arm and he pressed down. I grunted, panting.

"Did you like that?" Edward asked in glee.

"I like you better" I gasped, shaky with adrenaline. "I love you so much, my big handsome murderer" My hands knotted in my hair and I squealed as he hitched my leg upwards.

"I love you more, you murder tramp"

"Birthday boy" I told him, kissing him fiercely, blood still dripping from our victims in between us. Bonding us together tightly.


"Tell me how you killed Emmett" I begged, pressing my body against his, arching my back as he fluttered kisses on my collarbone.

"I stabbed him in the neck" He teasingly bit the tender skin of my neck. "And threw him off the balcony"

"Shocking" My breathing knotted and I devoured him hungrily, lips pressed deeply with enough passion to rival fire.

We were a tangle of hotness, heavy breathing.

"I love you" I told him, tracing patterns on his bloodied shirt.

"I love you too" He said, pupils huge. "Now we can be together forever"

"Forever" I repeated solemnly.

Sirens wailed and we paused, before jerking upwards.

"Quick we need to go" Edward hissed, grabbing my hand with a rueful smile. We ran through the house even as the Police swarmed it. As an afterthought Edward grabbed the axe as we exited into the back garden, out onto the patio where Emmett lay surrounded in a pool of his own blood and gore.


I slid across the damp grass, dress clinging to me.

There were footsteps, heavy boots heading towards us.

"Hey! This is the Police- stop there, put your hands up…yes I request urgent back- Bella"

I whirled around, brown hair streaming around me like a cloud of volcanic dust.

"Charlie" I greeted my Dad with a devilish smirk, hand tightening around Edward's. He blinked in utter bewilderment, almost as confused as Emmett.

My mind spun in delightful cart wheeling colours, even as my father's image wavered. The only thing constant was Edward. He was solid.

"You" He croaked.

"Me. I. Isabella Swan" I taunted childishly, soprano voice twisted. "What is it Daddy?" I smiled slyly. "Do you want to end up like them?" I jerked my head at the house with proudness radiating off my every pore.

"You…you murdered them?" His mouth made words he could not say.

I nodded. "I was so foolish Daddy. Left lots of evidence. Next time, latex gloves" I whispered to Edward who grinned eagerly, letting go of my hand and stepping forward.

"Why?" Charlie asked.

"Daddy" I rolled my eyes, laughing. "It's fun!" I clapped my hands, laughing manically as his face blurred. Faded from existence as Edward dropped the axe sticking from his back.

Edward grabbed my hand and we took a minute to survey the murder scene before disappearing into the woods.

"Happy birthday" I whispered to him and he smiled.

"Make a wish" He ordered.

"I wish…I wish we could do this every year" His eyes glinted.

"Your wish is my command"

We ran laughing into the night, the stars shining down on us, blood splattering after us in a trail of death.

It was such a splendid Birthday Massacre.

Yes Bella and Edward were crazy- what did you think?