"…Stupid, cheating, rotten, dirty, cheating, card-carrying, cheating, cheesepuff-stuffing, bullying, cheaters…"
Strong Bad muttered his curses under his breath as he passed Flint Paper at the bar on his way to the arcade machine in the corner of the club. Strong Bad had literally just been eliminated from that stupid card game going on and to say that he was feeling cheated was an understatement.
"That's the last time I try to bluff with a pair of fours." Strong Bad said as he went to Bluster Blaster and stepped up to the controls.
"EPIC FAILURE!" Bluster Blaster shouted as Strong Bad approached.
"Shut up, you quarter-munching outdated technology." Strong Bad said as he started playing. Even if the arcade machine was insulting him, he needed something to take his mind off that embarrassing loss at the card game.
Strong Bad jammed the buttons on the arcade machine, trying to get the high score. What made him more determined with this game was that the top time was currently held by Max (what Strong Bad didn't know was that the high score was registered when Max was a kid), and the hyper-kinetic rabbit had been the one to knock him out of the game.
The wrestle-man's thought went back to the game. Tycho had the most money when Strong Bad got eliminated, but that new face was quickly getting better at poker and was catching up. Tycho had given a rather cocky and triumphant smirk when Strong Bad lost all of his money and Strong Bad was secretly hoping Tycho would go next.
Max was starting to lose his money and the Heavy had around the same amount as when he started, having lost a couple of hands but winning a couple more to make up for it. If Strong Bad was a betting man (which he was; he just didn't have any money to bet with), he would bet that the Heavy would be the one to win it all.
"YOU SUCK! PLAY EASY MODE SO YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO WELL!" Bluster Blaster shouted.
"Do you have a mute button or something?" Strong Bad asked.
"MUTE BUTTONS ARE FOR SISSIES! THEY'RE FOR PEOPLE WITH SENSITIVE EARS!"
Strong Bad did his best to ignore the arcade machine's insults and continued to play the game. Slowly, but surely, he was starting to gain on that coveted high score, and he wouldn't rest until he wiped Max's name from that slot.
This continued for a good several minutes. Strong Bad lost a couple of lives, but he was still doing reasonably well. By now, Strong Bad had all but forgotten about the card game.
"Hey, boxing-glove-guy! Bluster Blaster insulting you badly?"
Strong Bad glanced to the side and saw Max wandering over. "So I take it you lost?" He asked as he continued to play the game.
"Meh. I got bored and went all-in with a pair of Jacks." Max shrugged. "That new guy had two Kings he wasn't telling us about."
"Just wait until the next game, rabbit! I'm gonna clean all of you out!" Strong Bad boasted.
"How can you afford to shovel out ten grand each game, anyway?" Max asked.
"Simple. It's Homestar's money." Strong Bad said. "He'll fork over as much as I want if I persuade him."
Max shrugged. "So how's the game going?" He asked. "I haven't really played this game since I got the high score when I was a kid."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You've had the high score on this thing for years?" Strong Bad asked. "Oh, just you wait. Once I get the top score here, you'll be forced to acknowledge me as the king of arcades."
"Sure. Whatever floats your boat." Max said. "Hey, be sure to let me know when the next game starts, okay? I'm going upstairs for a bit."
"To the library? BO-RING." Strong Bad replied.
"Actually, I'm going to see if I can't get a phone number. There was that hot woman in the dress up there and I'm going to see what her standards are." Max said.
Strong Bad paused. "Hey, bunny-man. You think you can get multiple copies?" He asked.
"I'll see what I can do, but I make no promises." Max said as he wandered off.
Strong Bad returned his attention to the game and continued to play and ignore the jeers of Bluster Blaster. Max wandered up the staircase to start his journey.
"LEARN TO PLAY!" Bluster Blaster shouted. Strong Bad, by now, had stopped listening. He was getting extremely-close to the top score and he was one his last life.
Several more minutes passed. Strong Bad roared in frustration when he lost his last life literally ten thousand points from beating Max's score. Groaning in frustration, Strong Bad started a new game as he blocked out Bluster Blaster's jeers at how much he sucked.
Strong Bad suddenly saw Tycho approaching out the corner of his eye. Tycho sat down at the bar and frustratingly ordered a gin fizz. Strong Bad couldn't help but feel a lot better knowing that Tycho was out of the game.
"So how'd it go, webcomic?" Strong Bad asked.
"Shut up. I had those two right where I wanted them." Tycho said. "I wasn't expecting Heavy to get a Full House like that. I just don't know how I could have lost it all like that."
"I know how." Strong Bad supplied. "You suck."
"EPIC FAIL!" Bluster Blaster roared.
"You said it, buddy." Strong Bad laughed.
Tycho muttered something under his breath as his drink arrived. Strong Bad couldn't help but chuckle at Tycho's misfortune as he continued his game. The two of them spent the majority of the card game heckling each other, so Strong Bad was at least pleased that, while he didn't win this game, neither did Tycho. He made a mental note to remind Tycho of his loss later.
Suddenly hearing a loud slap coming from upstairs, Strong Bad and Tycho glanced up and watched Max flying over the upstairs railing, crashing into a table on the bottom floor. Tycho winced in pain as Strong Bad returned to his game.
"What the heck happened?" Tycho asked.
"That woman upstairs is feistier than the looks." Max said as he got up and dusted himself off. "That's my kind of woman!"
"You just crashed through that table." Tycho said. "Didn't that hurt?"
"Not the first time that's happened, and tables grow on trees nowadays." Max shrugged as he walked over to the bar. "So what'd I miss?"
"It's down to the Heavy and the new guy." Tycho replied. "Heavy's got a commanding lead at the moment."
"He took all your money like a sucker?" Max asked.
"Don't rub it in. I don't find it funny to lose insanely large sums of money." Tycho rolled his eyes.
"That's too bad. You're missing out." Max said.
"Are you going to order something or are you just going to stand around and annoy me?"
"I can't have alcohol. Sam won't let me get drunk for reasons I don't really know." Max shrugged. "So…Yeah. I'm just here to annoy you. Why? Is it working?"
"All too well." Tycho muttered.
"Then I did my job." Max said brightly as he turned and merrily walked off towards the stairs. Feeling bored, he went over to one of the bars on the railings and started gnawing on it.
Tycho continued drinking, wondering why and how he got stuck playing cards with a bunch of lunatics. Gabe had warned him about playing cards with these people, and now he was starting to wish he had taken the advice.
Suddenly hearing a loud and joyous cheer, Tycho turned and saw that the Heavy was cheering, celebrating his win over the newcomer.
"Hey, guys. The tournament's over and the next game's about to start." Tycho said as he got up.
"Coming!" Max called out as he came bounding down the stairs.
"But…But…I was almost at the high score!" Strong Bad said.
"YOU SUUUUUUCK!" Bluster Blaster taunted.
Strong Bad sighed as he fished another ten grand of Homstar's money into the open and walked over to the table. Time to show these chumps who was boss around here…