A/N: I wrote this at like, 3am, so if none of it makes sense or it's particularly crappy, that's why. Also, this story is still unbeta-ed, and I'm sure I misspelled a few things here and there. Just ignore them.
I knew this feeling all too well. My memories of writhing on the ballet studio floor as Edward fought James came rushing through my mind. He had barely held his own before Alice, Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper had gotten there to help. Now it was Alice against Jasper. They used to be married, family...now they were going to fight until one of them was dead. That's the only way any of this would end, and I hoped with all my might that it would be Alice that was left standing.
The burning quickly rose from my arm into my chest, causing my breathing to become faster and more shallow. With my vision still blurring in and out, I couldn't exactly tell who was winning in the fight. I knew Jasper was much more skilled in the area of hand to hand combat than anyone else in the Cullen family. I knew that meant that Alice would have to focus purely on Jasper and not get distracted by me, so I did my best to stay still and quiet as can be.
It was hard, though, with the venom spreading, burning in my veins. My body started to convulse to the point where I couldn't even attempt to stop it, grunts coming out of my mouth as I grasp the damp grass beneath my fingers as the venom rushes in to my other arm and down my torso. I hear growling from Alice and Jasper hissing in return. I can't see them now, not because of my sight problems, but because they were now on the other side of the backyard at the forest edge.
Time seemed to slow down for me. My body movements were growling less erratic, my breathing was changing back to deeper breaths when the venom reached my toes. I was on full burn now, like the venom was now spreading to my muscles so everything would be engulfed soon enough. Even if Alice beat Jasper and did everything she could to take back the venom that was coursing through me, it wouldn't matter. I knew I was way past the point of no return.
I had gone over the cliff and was falling, waiting to hit the water that was waiting for me at the bottom. Or maybe I already had, and was now fighting my way to the surface, but would only be able to when the change was fully complete. It didn't scare me, it never had. Even when I was with Edward, I had always wanted to be like him. At first it was because I was so infatuated with him, and would do anything to be with him forever. Then, after the James incident, I realized that wasn't the case anymore.
I wanted to be a vampire because, even in the beginning, it felt more normal to be in that world that it did my own. I'd never felt more comfortable, and the feeling that I belonged was so strong, though Edward always thought that I only wanted it because of him. No matter what I said or how I tried to explain how I felt, it wasn't enough. He'd prevent me from becoming like him if it was the last thing he'd do, and that always angered me. It wasn't his choice to make...it was mine.
He had told me some about the changing process, mainly trying to get me to see what a horrible and painful choice it would be, but my want never faded. Now that it was actually happening, not in the way I'd ever thought, but happening nonetheless, Edward had been sugar-coating it. When James attacked me, the venom never got that far into my system, so it wasn't that painful, even though I was dealing with a injured leg too, it felt like Hell. Oh, how was I wrong.
This was Hell. My entire body. From the hair follicles on my scalp, to the nails on my toes. I was still now, my body had stopped writhing and I felt paralyzed. I wouldn't want to move even if I could, afraid that the pain may get worse, though I'm not quite certain if it's possible. Still, I wouldn't take the chance. It was then that I realized I could no longer see nor hear Alice and Jasper. I swear my heart stopped for a second when I was reminded of her. How could I have forgotten in the first place?
All I could hear now was my hear thumping in my ears. It was so loud. I wished I could at least see that she was still okay, still fighting, at least. Though I take it as a good sign that if she had lost, that Jasper would be killing me right now, and since he wasn't I assume they were still somewhere in the yard duking it out. With beads of sweat rolling down my forehead, my eyes started to feel heavy. I did my best to push the impending blackness away and stared up at the sky.
I needed to focus. Focus on something that would keep my mind here. From where I lay, I could see some of the night sky. A navy blue-ish color that the moonlight created. Some stars were brighter than others, one even looks reddish, but I can't tell if it's truly like that, or if it's just the venom messing with my head. Suddenly there was movement to the right of where I was looking. I glanced over and saw a patch of sky that shooting stars were flying through.
One after another, they cut through the sky like a hot knife on butter. Could you wish on a shooting star when the sky was filled with them, or when it was just one, and you didn't even expect to see that many? Whatever the rules, I wish. I wished on all of them, actually. I wished, like a little girl, that all would work itself out. That Alice would be safe, that Jasper was somewhere where he couldn't hurt anyone ever again. It was all that mattered to me now, that she was okay.
The blackness did overwhelm me, seconds after making my desperate wish. Though even in my dreams, or venom coma...whatever I was, I still felt the pain. I thought that there was a chance that I'd escape it, even if it were just for a little while, but it appears not. As I lay here in my unconsciousness, my surroundings change. The darkness starts gaining light, and I can see it trying to morph into something, but what, I don't know. It's my mind though, why not try to control it?
I think of a place that feels like my escape. The meadow. Edward took me to it when we were first getting to really know each other. I'd never see anything so beautiful in my life. So I thought hard of that, wishing I could be there now. Closing my eyes I could see the emerald green grass, still shiny with the morning dew on the blade tips. The bright, purple flowers that gave off such a soothing aroma. And the trees that surrounded the area, the sun beaming down and casting rays of light down to the ground through the canopy.
When I opened my eyes, there it was. However, it glowed more, bright to where it hurt my eyes at first. I noticed the pain in my body dissipated a little, and I was relieved. My place of comfort really did help. In more ways than one. Even if it was just in my head, I was thankful I could have even that much right now. I don't know how long I laid there in the meadow in silence, listening to the wind and birds chirping around me. It didn't feel that long until I heard Alice's voice.
"Bella?" Alice asked, her voice echoing slightly in the meadow. "Bella, you're going to be okay, Carlisle is on his way." She sighed. "I just wish I knew if you could hear me..."
I wanted to answer her, but my voice wasn't exactly cooperating. And even if I could answer, I'm not exactly present, so she most likely wouldn't hear me anyway. At least she didn't sound hysterical. Her voice was urgent, but calmer than it should have been. I assume she'd killed Jasper, and with me in my current state, she seemed to be handling things quite well, whether it was for my benefit or not. I didn't care if it was. She was alive, that's what mattered.
Alice had been talking to me since she killed Jasper in my backyard. I was now at the Cullens house with Jacob, Seth, and Leah downstairs. She'd told me that they had been knocked unconscious one by one before the shifter and Jasper came after me. Seth and Leah were fine, the shifter had come up behind them and used a pressure point on their necks to knock them out, but Jacob put up more of a fight, getting a hard hit on the head from Jasper before passing out.
Out of the three, Jacob felt the worst. He admitted to being overly cocky and not as prepared as they should have been. That the whole reason I was in the position I currently am in, is because of him. I disagree. Even though I had a bad feeling about them not being in their wolf forms, whose to say that they wouldn't have been hurt much worse if they had been ready for a fight? That shifter was strong, and only was taken down so easily by Alice because he was caught off guard.
Besides, I wanted this. Jacob was like Edward in a way, thinking it was the worst thing someone could become, but he couldn't understand. He was a shifter, but he didn't want to be. He absolutely hated the fact that he had no choice in the matter, and even gave up being Alpha because of it. He just doesn't get that I do in fact have a choice. No one is pushing me into it, when really, everyone has been trying to talk me out of it since I had said that it was what I wanted.
I can see how he'd think that vampires are monsters. With all the movies and TV shows portraying them as human-killing machines, a normal person would think they probably had no feelings whatsoever. But if he's learned anything about his time with the Cullens, it should be that they are different. No every vampire has to stick to the stereotype. Everyone has a choice of what they want to be. Sure, they could have gave into their instincts and killed humans without remorse...it was in their nature.
But no, they still felt human enough to go against their new nature, and know that it's not right. Each human life meant something. And even though it was a hard life, it didn't mean that she couldn't be happy. Carlisle and Esme belong together, that's clear to anyone who sees them together, but they wouldn't be if Carlisle hadn't changed her in that hospital all those years ago. Even though he didn't quite know what he was doing at the time, he saved her because that's what he thought was best.
Rose misses being human, but if she had died in the street that night, she wouldn't have found Emmett, and he would have died in that bear attack, never meeting Rose. This life brought them together. Rose would have been absolutely miserable living this life without Emmett, but she found him, and has a husband that loves her with everything in him and would do anything for her. She had happiness, that of which she never truly got in her human life. It was similar with the shifers.
They couldn't help that they were born with the gene. They didn't chose this life of mystical creatures, but it was part of who they were, whether they liked it or not. But, what matters is what you do with it. They chose to protect humans and their land from invaders that pose a threat. Their life means something, and they can be happy. They imprint on one person and one person only for God sakes. When they do meet that person, it's clear that it's their soul mate.
Sam is so in love with Emily, it radiates through a room. Quil just recently found Claire, who, even though is just a toddler, you can see the love in his eyes and how protective he is of her. Jacob just doesn't like what he doesn't understand, like most people. He knows what it's like to be different, yet he hates all vampires because he thinks they are all monsters. He hates seeing the other shifters with their partners because he doesn't like that who he falls for is already chosen.
He's much like Leah in that way, though he'd deny it. I know that they say they hate that everything is chosen for them, but I can tell that they are both envious. They want love. Leah wants Sam back, and Jacob wanted me. I knew once they found their mates, things would change for them, but right now, they'd have to power through the bad to get to the eventual good. They aren't monsters, they aren't unable to be loved. They are who they're supposed to be.
For he most part, I've always been a believer in Fate. The world works in mysterious ways, but in the end, everything that happens, I believe it happens for a reason. Even though we may not always be able to see it or understand it all the time. My whole life, I've been on the outside looking in, never understanding why I felt like I didn't belong wherever I tried to fit. But discovering this world, was Fate. I was introduced to it in an interesting way, but I was meant to be here.
"Bella, Carlisle's here now." Alice announced, taking me out of my thoughts.
"Has she been responding?" Carlisle's smooth voice asked.
"No, but I've still been talking to her the whole time, in case she can hear."
Rustling sounds followed. And after a few moments, Carlisle spoke up again.
"Her eyes are changing color. Her cuts and bruises are healing. And her heart rate is up. Everything seems normal. Any idea when she''ll wake up?"
"Yeah, I had a vision of her waking up tomorrow evening." Alice replied.
Good, this dull burn wasn't pleasant. The sooner the better.
"Ah, good. Hang in there, Bella. Now, where's Jacob? I want to check his head, make sure he's okay."
I heard nothing then, no rustling or footsteps, but I knew Carlisle had left the room.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I'd gotten here sooner..."
AN: Warning, next chapter is the last.