Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer and Summit Entertainment own all things Twilight-related. No copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Notes: Since my Muse has been on vacation far too long, I decided to try waking her back up with a little impromptu fun. This story is my response to the PPSS Blog's 'Wedding' Pervy Picspirations challenge, even if I'm too late to enter. :(

Warning: AH/AU. Not for Edward/Bella fans. Or Carlisle/Esme fans. Or fans of Respectable!Carlisle, either, for that matter. Seriously.

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I was sitting at the deserted bar, slowly nursing a scotch, when she appeared around the intricate latticework of wood and glass that separated this particular lounge from the rest of the fancy resort. I paused, glass half-way to my lips. She grinned shyly. God almighty.

Lifting her voluminous skirt a bit, Bella glided towards me, and it was all I could do not to groan out loud at all the unbelievably filthy thoughts crossing my mind. Alcohol is a wonderful thing, you know. Sometimes. It can numb pain well enough, but its ability to loosen tightly guarded inhibitions was going to get me into some serious trouble if my new daughter-in-law kept poking and prodding where she didn't belong.

"Dr. Cullen?"

I forced a smile. Actually, it probably looked more like a grimace considering how hard my cock was at that particular moment. Maybe if I pretended I was drunk she might leave me alone. Better yet, maybe she'd take advantage of me. Fuck, I'd sell off half the priceless family heirlooms in my possession to get my hands on that luscious little body before my numbskull step-son Edward permanently marked his territory.

"Dr. Cullen, how come you're hiding way over here? You do know the reception has an open bar?"

"Of course I do, sweetheart," I replied smoothly. "I'm paying for it."

Bella gaped for a few seconds before dropping her gaze and blushing furiously. "Of course you knew that."

I couldn't resist. The urge to mess with her as much as she'd messed with me was just too damned strong. Reaching out, I gently tipped her face back up, offering her a smoldering look. "Why, might I ask, has the beautiful bride escaped her own wedding celebration?"

A soft smile brightened her features, tightening my groin even further. "I was hoping to dance with my father-in-law."

Jesus Christ already… Tipping my glass back, I drained the rest of the scotch, relishing in the slow, warm burn the liquid left in its wake, and signaled the barkeep. I needed about twelve more to steady my nerves to the point where I wouldn't just push her against the wall and fuck her senseless. She'd been playing coy with me for months, but I wasn't fooled. She knew exactly what she was doing. And almost none of it had been behind Edward's back either; he's just a fucking idiot for not recognizing the signs. The bartender – Frank, his name tag read – poured me another round. His eyebrow quirked as he shot me a furtive glance. Even Frank knew what the hell was going on.

Bella bit her bottom lip, doing her best to look uncertain. "Please, Carlisle? I would really, really love to dance with you."

Laughter bubbled forth, shaking my whole body. The irony of it all was fucking rich. I downed the second glass full in one gulp and turned back to her. She stared at me, her expression carrying just a hint of her true intentions for the first time. Fuck it. Fuck my gold-digging wife and her idiot wuss of a son, too. If the little girl wants to play, who the hell am I to say no? "Hey Frank?" In my peripheral vision I could see him slow the rag he was using to wipe the bar. "You got a store room anywhere around here?"

I leered. Bella smirked. Frank stopped wiping altogether, pausing only a moment before reaching below the counter. A small set of keys dropped into my open palm seconds later. "Around the back," he pointed. "Key's color-coded blue. Try not to wreck anything."

"Shall we dance?" I whispered to her, holding my hand out. Her tiny one slid easily into mine, the contact sending a jolt of pure lust sizzling down my spine.

I scanned the lounge and the entrance, making sure nobody was watching before hurrying her through the back of the bar area. Less than a minute later, we stumbled into the stockroom, lips sliding together in a sloppy kiss. I flipped the light switch blindly, pushing the door shut with my left foot. She felt so fucking good in my arms, all soft and tiny and sweet smelling. I've got a thing for petite women; I think most men with big cocks do. Just the thought of being buried to the hilt inside that tight wetness made me groan.

"Eager, are we?" she asked, breaking our kiss. We were both breathless.

I grinned at her. "You have no idea."

Grabbing my lapels, she yanked me back down to her level. "I'm presuming you know something about human anatomy, being a doctor and all?"

"A thing or two," I replied, nipping at her lips.

One of her hands rubbed my crotch, squeezing lightly. "Well, I've got this unbearable itch…"

Laughing, I pulled her up into my arms and walked her to the far side of the narrow room, setting her on the small table I found there. "Show me where, sweetheart."

Planting each of her feet against the metal racks on either side of us, she slowly pulled up her skirt. I exhaled loudly as inch after inch of delicate hosiery, garter straps, and creamy skin was revealed to me, my fingertips eagerly following the receding material. When she finally cleared her waistline, I blinked in surprise, my gaze sliding up to meet hers. She grinned back, licking those sexy lips of hers.

"Isabella Swan-Masen," I scolded, tsking. She'd walked down the aisle of a Catholic church looking like such a good girl with her pure white dress and veil, but underneath… "Where did your panties go, young lady?"

She pouted. "I guess I forgot them."

Edward didn't fucking deserve this beautiful little minx. She was way out of his league. The unfairness of it all rankled, but I knew there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it now; I'd forever held my peace, for better or worse.

I trailed ticklish fingers across her completely bare mons pubis before lightly stroking downward. God, she was so wet. All for me. She closed her eyes at my touch, trembling. "Have I found the right spot, Isabella? Is this what's been bothering you?"

"Fuck, yeah!" she whispered.

I sank to my knees, conscious of the fact that the bride would be missed before too long, and buried my face in her folds. She squeaked at my sudden move, but quickly found my rhythm, undulating against my mouth in tiny little circles while the sound of her panting colored the air. I laved her relentlessly, swallowing as much of her delicious juices as I could. Despite its brevity, I needed to savor this moment; with them living in New York, the chances of this kind of rendezvous happening again any time soon were slim to none.

Within minutes, she'd graduated to tiny whimpers, her hips gradually faltering until, with a sharp cry, she finally came, shuddering in my arms. Once she'd settled, still gasping for breath, I wasted no time in getting back up and undoing my slacks, remembering at the last moment to grab the condom I had stashed in my wallet. When I glanced back at her, the stunned expression she wore made me grin. It was the same look I'd seen on all my lovers' faces the first time they'd noticed the size of my junk.

"Holy shit."

I chuckled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

She reached for the condom, helping me slide it over my generous length. "Please tell me you have at least one son out there somewhere, keeping your gene pool alive."

"Two, actually," I said.

"Thank all the little gods."

Bella swallowed my laughter, pulling me down for another feverish kiss. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I scooted her closer to the edge of the table before aligning myself at her entrance and pressing forward slowly. I released her lips when I felt her stiffen beneath me. For a single panicked moment, I wondered whether I'd just deflowered a virgin. Then I remembered how she'd sheathed my cock with an expert's touch only seconds before. She was no virgin; I was just fucking big.

"Relax for me, sweetheart," I whispered, gazing into her eyes. She looked genuinely surprised, a bit afraid, even, but I didn't stop. "That's it, baby, take me in. You feel so fucking good."


"You're okay," I reassured softly. Bloody hell, she was tight!

I held still once I was fully seated inside her warmth, giving her body a chance to adjust. Bella's eyes slid closed while she panted raggedly. Dragging my lips and teeth along her neck, I moaned as I withdrew just a tiny bit, and then pushed forward again. It was going to take all the control I had not to shoot my load before either of us had a chance to enjoy this. A few moments later, I felt her grasp my shoulders, pulling me closer.

"Please," she breathed.

"You want this, baby?" I teased, flexing my cock.

She moaned, squirming against me. "Fuck me, please!"

I grinned. "Yes, ma'am."

We rocked together, slowly at first, but with increasing fervor, our tongues dueling for supremacy. I really wanted to mark her, to suck some of that beautiful skin between my teeth and nibble away until the rest of the world knew someone had screwed her until she couldn't see straight on her wedding day. They'd all assume it was Edward, of course, but I'd be able to sit back and smile, enjoying the confusion on his face. There's nothing like a good case of adultery to start a marriage off right. Just ask my wife; she's a fucking expert in that department.

The table creaked beneath us as we tested its staying power. I truly was trying to be gentle with her, but for the love of all that's holy, those little sounds she was making – it was enough to drive me wild with need. I rammed into her again and again, my hips picking up speed as my climax approached. Reaching between us, I pressed my thumb against her clit, wiggling its tiny hood back and forth. Bella jolted instantly, burying her face against my shoulder while she spasmed around me, her cries of pleasure muffled by my clothing. Two thrusts later, and I joined her, groaning and shuddering and feeling more fucking exhilarated than I had in years.

I collapsed against her, mindful of my much larger bulk, but Bella didn't seem to mind. She clung to me, still shaking, as both of us gasped for air.

"That was un-fucking-believable," she sighed.

I laughed, pressing a loud kiss to her ear. "Glad you enjoyed the ride."

"Seriously, you don't just look like sex on legs – you are sex on legs."

Well, that boosted my already inflated ego somewhat. It was nice to know the lightly graying sideburns still held as much allure as my generous proportions. I hummed my approval, bucking against her. I was still mostly erect, so the movement earned me another squeak from the beautiful woman in my arms. She arched against me, stretching like a cat in the sun, and I wasted no time in capturing her lips for another passionate kiss.

When I felt myself softening in earnest, I reluctantly grabbed the base of the condom and pulled out, yanking it off and tossing it in the garbage can. Before I could even blink, Bella's tongue was lapping at the drop of semen left behind on the head of my cock. I groaned, cupping her face in my hands.

"You're un-fucking-believable – do you know that?" I asked, repeating her colorful descriptor.

She smiled at me, looking every bit the coquettish minx she was. "We need to do this again. Very soon."

I frowned, feeling remarkably saddened by her statement. "If only that were possible." Hell, I'd fuck her every day of the week if given the chance.

Bella's eyes lit up. "Oh, but it will be." When I cocked my head in disbelief, she continued, "We're moving back to Seattle next month."

I swear my heart stopped. "You're shitting me?"

She grinned, reaching to straighten my bow tie and smooth down my vest and dress shirt. "Nope. Apparently Edward misses his Mommy."

I rested both palms on the table beside her and leaned down until we were nose to nose. "I guess that means more quality time for you and Daddy."

"Why do you think I married the little prick? Oh, and I mean that literally as well as figuratively, by the way," Bella whispered against my lips.

Jesus Fucking Christ! She married him so she could be closer to me? That's about as fucked up as it gets in the sticky little world of family affairs. I should really be running away as fast as I can, knowing how ugly this kind of thing can get, but instead I was just feeling…smug. Standing back up, I pulled out my handkerchief and handed it to her, my gaze smoldering.

"You want this back when I'm through?" she asked playfully, making a show of cleaning herself. God, what a tease.

"Just toss it."

"What if Esme notices it's missing?"

I chuckled, my tone dripping with derision. "She won't. Trust me."

Bella dropped my handkerchief into the garbage and hopped down from the table, shifting her skirt around to try and work out the wrinkles we'd made. "Poor Carlisle. You need a real woman in your life."

"Indeed," I offered, smirking.

She left without saying another word. I gave her a five-minute head start while I righted my own clothing, feeling the excitement of forbidden pleasures building steadily in my gut. I was playing with fire, I knew, but the lure of a fresh, beautiful face and a tight little body to match were just too strong. This would be good, really good, however long it lasted. And then people would get burned, like they always do.

C'est la vie.

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