Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Nine: Fool Me Once

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

Author's Note: Big giant hugs to everyone who has left me a review on this recently & anyone who has dedicated hours of their life to reading it- it means a lot to me. This part is a young River & older Doctor where they've re-met up with River post LKH so the Ponds know she's their daughter. Got it? Good. Enjoy…

"Oh, go on River!" Amy whined as she nudged her friend-slash-daughter gently in the side and grinned.

"But I can't! What if he gets cross?" River asked nervously as the three friends looked across at the man who stood fiddling with some kind of wires under the TARDIS console with no clue he was the centre of their conversation. River bit her lip as she looked quickly between her parents and the Doctor.

"Of course he won't get cross!" Amy waved her hand dismissively. River was still just getting used to this, just discovering who she was, and it was rather adorable but also completely messed up the brilliant plan that Amy had come up with.

"You can't know that. I mean I know it's nothing major but this is my first time travelling with you all and I really don't want to mess that up over some stupid joke." River sighed.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous." Amy snapped, annoyed that her genius was being wasted.

"Amy." Rory said warningly, his hand on her arm instantly.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it's just… well. If anyone could pull a prank on him without him getting cross it's you." Amy smiled.

"Me? Really?" River looked across to her father for conformation.

"It's true. You can pretty much do whatever and then bat your eyelashes and make some incredibly inappropriate comment for your parents to hear and he'll be putty in your hands. So to speak." Rory coughed anxiously.

"Well, that sounds like fun." River grinned and they both saw a glimmer of the woman she would soon be shining through the anxious shell that temporarily covered her.

"So here, take this." Amy thrust a tube and a piece of paper into River's hands. "And go talk to him. Just remember: he doesn't know how young you are, just be confident."

"You sure?" River checked as she looked dubiously at the things in her hands.

"Of course." Amy grinned as she pushed her daughter gently forward and she stumbled towards her future husband.

"Oh, sweetie." River began nervously but seeing the Doctor smile at her greeting put her somewhat at ease.

"Yes, River dear?" He beamed as he put down the wires he had been messing with.

"Here, I brought you that cream that the nurse prescribed for you." She handed him the tube of cream and tried to stop herself grinning at the blush that had spread across his cheeks. "She said if you put it on once a day then the rash and the itching should soon-"

"River! I don't-" The Doctor spluttered as he looked over at Amy and Rory who, to their credit, looked quickly away and tried to hide their giggles. "I do not have any rash." He whispered pointedly.

"Oh have you not got it yet?" River asked, trying to appear concerned. "Well I suppose this once I'll be forgiven for giving away a little this little urm… spoiler to stop your future pain, right?"

"Right. Yes." The Doctor gulped as he shifted nervously, his hands automatically clasping in front of his crotch.

"Oh, no." River laughed throatily. "On your head."

"On my head?" The Doctor repeated in shock. "I get a rash on my head?"

"Oh yes, a very serious one. But the nurse said that it was just a simple allergic reaction to headwear and if you just stopped wearing any kind of hats you should be fine." River nodded and concentrated very hard on keeping a straight face.

"So I can… never wear hats again?" The Doctor stammered, looking crestfallen.

"Never." River sighed. "Probably be best to destroy them all, to avoid the temptation."

"I suppose… Yes… I mean, nobody wants a rash…" The Doctor muttered absentmindedly as he turned to walk away.

"Oh by the way, Doctor." River called out. "Do you know what day it is?"

"It's probably a Tuesday, but why is that important? C'mon now River, I have hats to say goodbye to." He grumbled as he stomped off.

River turned around to see Amy and Rory holding themselves up on the railing, in silent hysterics.

"Best. April. Fools. Ever." Amy gasped through her laughter.

"Oh no, I feel quite bad!" River giggled.

"Once you've seen him in a fez, you'll understand." Rory nodded wisely.

"And are you sure he'll forgive me?" River asked.

"Always." Rory smiled.

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