Not One For The Diary

Memory One-Hundred-And-Eighteen: Hostage

Disclaimer:Not even pretending I own it.

Author's Note: So this part is one that I was sure I had actually written but it turns out I hadn't I'd just thought about writing it. & it came from a review someone left (and I am very sorry but I have forgotten who) wondering about why River never got taken as a hostage to use against the Doctor. In this part I imagine them both being pretty mid-timey. Enjoy…

"You will come with me, human one." The animal-like creature grunted as it pushed River up against the side of the TARDIS, her arm twisted behind her back and her face crushed uncomfortably into the blue wood.

"I will not!" River growled in reply with as much dignity as one can muster when one is being man-handled by an alien with a face that looked creepily like a science experiment to cross a pig and a dog that had gone horribly wrong.

"You will come with me and I will use you against the Time Lord to get him to assist me in my war against Racalong!" The beast continued.

"Oh yes, tell me your whole plan gloatingly. I'm sure that won't end badly for you at all." River rolled her eyes. "Honestly, have you never seen a film? Just any film with a bad guy in? No? None?"

"Silence!" River shuddered as she felt spit spray her back. No manners, these aliens. None at all. "You are the wife of the last of the Time Lords and you will comply and be my hostage or-"

"Ah yeah, you see I think that's where you're going wrong. I'm really just not that kind of wife. Don't really do the whole 'damsel in distress' thing all too well and to be honest I can't be bothered to let you capture me just to escape a few moments later. So if it's all the same to you I'll just be off now." River rolled her eyes.

"You cannot escape. You have no way of escape. Tell me how you plan to escape!" The creature demanded. Strong and very ugly but not too bright.

"Ah, no. Sorry. Not going to do that. I'll show you though." River grinned as she began to move. The Doctor, she knew, would think of some clever get-out clause, make some elaborate distraction or else just talk continually until the creature got bored of the idea. That's what the Doctor would do but, quite frankly, she didn't have the energy to do that and this rude would-be kidnapper had squashed the last of her patience right out of her. So instead she wriggled her leg between the creature's own two, hooked her leg around his knee causing it to buckle and send them both crashing backwards into a pile on the floor where she quickly elbowed him to make him release his grip on her and pushed the 'home' button on her vortex manipulator.

"Really, River." The Doctor sighed as he looked up from where he lay sprawled across the chairs reading a book. "If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times. Use the doors don't just appear in the control room. It does something funny to the TARDIS's shields."

"And I've told you a hundred times it doesn't and it's perfectly safe." River rolled her eyes as she picked herself up off the floor, dusting herself down as she did.

"Did you have fun exploring, honey?" The Doctor asked as River set off towards the controls.

"Oh, all kinds of fun." River mumbled, knowing he would miss the sarcasm. "But I think we should get off now, any preference as to where?" She asked as she began pulling the levers.

"Urm… somewhere sunny." The Doctor shrugged vaguely, completely relaxed and happy to let her take control in a way he never would have felt possible until he met River.

"Good book?" River asked as she looked over at him, her expression softening as she watched him chew on his lip as he flipped through the pages of the book.

"Oh yes. Brilliant. Very tense moment. The daughter of the detective is being held hostage by the main villain and they're just about to cut off her finger-"

"Sounds lovely." River grimaced.

"Oh but it's fine because that doesn't happen." The Doctor waved dismissively as he lay the book down on his chest and looked across at River. "I wonder why no one's ever tried that with you?"

"What, cutting off my finger?" River laughed. "I'm rather glad they haven't!"

"No, not that!" The Doctor tutted. "But I just mean people I care about are often taken and used against me as bait or leverage. And those are just the people I travel with so you'd think they'd be all big with the attempted grabbing and snatching and whatnot with you being my wife and all."

"Yeah, strange that isn't it?" River coughed, trying to keep the knowing grin off her face.

"But don't worry about it." The Doctor said, suddenly sincere.

"Worry, why would I worry?" River asked in confusion.

"Well I'm not a very popular man with a lot of the nastiest races in the galaxy and I don't want you to worry that something will happen to you because if anyone did every try to kidnap you then I would be there in a flash and I would rescue you in a second!" The Doctor declared.

"Okay, good to know." River grinned.

"So you're not worried?" The Doctor checked.

"With you to protect me, what have I got to be worried about?" River walked over to where the Doctor sat, beaming proudly, and extended her hand to pull him up. "Now, do you want to go on to the beach or are you too worried about some nasty creature grabbing me?"

"Not at all for I am here to protect you!" The Doctor jumped to his feet, waving one arm as if brandishing a sword. "Plus, you're pretty good at defending yourself."

"Oh I don't know," River shrugged as she walked after the Doctor who was now bounding towards the doors. "I'm all right."

Please review if you can. Ta.