Beneath the Undertow

Chapter Two

Lilacs and vanilla, silky strands tickled as gentle kisses peppered over my chest. "You didn't even hear your alarm, sleepy head. Are you hung over?" She suddenly straddled, naked, fresh from the shower. "You can't be late for your shift."

Forcing through the haze, I playfully squeezed her ass and rotated at her center. "I'm up, see… feel," I teased with a raised brow. Her lashes fluttered, her hips rocked reactively. Biting her lip, she tugged lightly on the charm and leather cord around my neck to balance.

"We don't have time," she said, escaping.

I strengthened my grasp on her ass and thigh. "It's been so long, baby." We stared knowing, hurting. She shook her head lightly and moved off towards the closet to dress. I inhaled her pillow, watching.

"Oh, I ironed your work shirt," she said proudly, knotting her hair. "I'm leaving now, I guess." I sat to meet her at the end of the bed. "You seriously need to get moving."

"I will, I will. Since when do school secretaries wear tight, white, short shorts?" My fingers danced behind her knees and higher. I tugged the hem of her shorts dramatically.

"It's summer, relax." She kissed the tip of my nose. "That reminds me, tuition is due the first of August."

"Is it already? That's only two weeks."

"I know, I'm so excited. Billy said Sue's put a good word in for me at the hospital, just for something part time. Get my foot in the door…" Tucking into my lap, she kissed my temple, with a secure hold around my neck. "Thank you, baby, for letting me go to school first."

"Of course," I paused, steadying. "It was always the plan after Ri…" She tenderly traced the blisters on my palms.

"What's the matter, Edward? What is it?" She urged, finally cupping and angling my face. "You know it's not a big deal about the cupcakes, right? And you know Coach Banner's happily married…" Dipping her head, raising her eyes… teasing felt like patronizing. My secret left me sensitive, vulnerable, agitated. Breathing deep to stifle reaction, I calmed. Pushing damp tendrils behind ears wearing small silver hoops, my smile reassured.

"Goddamn, you're beautiful when you're sweaty." My nonsense earned a joyful jab to the abdomen. "I'm serious, why is it so fucking hot in this house?"

"I'm… conserving. A.C.'s expensive." A sudden kiss on my mouth, she flew out and away. "Don't forget to deposit the paycheck at lunch. Love you…"

~BtU~

"Whoa, Jessica, lookin' good… and ready. When are you due again?" The receptionist at the front desk blushed and looked towards her appointment screen. Always away, the topic of due dates and babies made any and all look away.

"August 10th," she answered flatly. "Does your dad know you're coming? He's got a surgery scheduled for eleven." I tapped and rolled my wrist over the tall partition, already anxious.

"No, he doesn't, actually. I'm off work today… thought I'd surprise him." Dusting over an old blue Yankee t-shirt, I shrugged casually in an attempt to settle. She held her finger up, smiling and buzzed back.

"Go ahead," she mouthed and motioned. I knocked twice, twisting the handle to the private office in the back. My dad closed a pen and folder before tilting back in his leather chair. Shoving my hands into denim pockets, I squared my shoulders, bracing.

"Why aren't you at work?"

I scoffed and glanced through the large window. "Good to see you too."

"Seriously, son, it's Friday morning. Why aren't you at the mill?" He pushed; his narrowed eyes penetrated my aching pride.

"I think you could probably guess, Dad. You're a smart man." I challenged, desperately wanting to get past the inevitable. He glared.

"When?"

"Yesterday." I smirked, slowly sitting down across his desk. "That son of a bitch Garrett Jenks did the deed. I would've preferred the old man."

"Edward…" He gestured a warning, then leaned forward resting on praying hands. "What's your plan?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. Bella's tuition is due soon." He ran through his light, short hair, gripping the ends in growing anger. Staring over his shoulder at the myriad of family photographs framed carefully in black, childhood bliss taunted me. Tall shoulders, trophies, high fives and smiles… I was their one and only.

"Well sitting here in my office isn't very productive for you." His tone and words cut.

"Okay… I see this was a bad idea." I stood abruptly, wanting to disappear. "I just needed some help, some goddamn help," I mumbled.

"What the hell do you want from me, Edward? You're already living in your grandmother's house for free." Raising his voice to stop my exit. "You've made your bed, son. You're going to have to deal with it. And so does Bella." I broke.

"How fucking dare you? Do you have any idea what she's been through?" I was shouting, shaking.

"Yes, I do. We all lived it. But you're twenty-one years old now. This is your life. You need to deal with it." He tensed; I slammed my hand on the corner of his desk, pointing too close.

"If my son had lived an hour… one fucking hour… I would have given him more than this." I seethed, intentionally spewing the worst. His clear blue eyes, widened before dampening.

"Your mother and I did everything… spoiled and supported and… for what? So you could knock up you high school sweetheart, give up a scholarship? All your god-given talent wasted… Goddamn wasted."

I staggered backwards to the door. "I love her. We loved our baby. I'd choose them over my fucking glove… forever. Go to hell. I don't need anything from you."

"Babe, fuck… my shoulder…" Groaning and rotating the effects of hours at the practice field, I shifted.

Our eyes met, knowing. "Sorry… I guess it's too soon," she whispered.

"I'm not making excuses." Independence fireworks exploded and sizzled in the park down the block. Six months and some sad days later…

"Why?" She slowly pulled up the straps of her green nightgown.

"Why what?" I leaned against the pine headboard rolling my head in exasperation. "Stop it, baby."

"No... really, why? You're dad offered to pay for UW now. You can still walk on the team. You'll get drafted, everyone knows it, you know it." The condition was to leave her behind, words so old and used. She pulled on her panties and her knees to her chest. I feathered down her pale, perfect cheek with the back of my knotted hand, soothing and reassuring.

"We were getting married anyway, remember? Remember our plan?" I mirrored her smile at the memory. "Riley wasn't part of that plan, but he needs us to be together… I need us to be together." She suddenly melted into my side. Her warm fingers twisting through the fine hair on my chest, kisses followed. Silent tears trailed towards her chin.

"He's gone…"

Wincing through the physical ache, reminding that I was alive, I lifted her within a breath. My thumbs smoothed down her jaw, drying the salty drops. "I'm here, Bella… I'm not going anywhere, ever. Do you understand that?" Mirroring her grateful smile, our mouths grazed and I whispered love against swollen lips.

~BtU~

Over… across the seams…

Rotate… together…

Thumb tight…

Pinch… inside…

Snap…

"Motherfucker," I groaned. Exhaling through a clenched jaw as I reached for another. Cheap beer swirled, punishing my head and gut. Tall yellow lights blinded against the late night sky, perspiration dripped into my blurred sight.

Repeat. And again. Faster. Fucking faster.

The denim I wore restricted, my knees covered in dust and clay. I pulled the t-shirt over my head, twisted the leather cord to hang at my back. Digging in, steady, sturdy I twisted the toe of my running shoe, drew up my knee… fire…

"Ball one," a voice shouted in the distance. I sheltered my eyes for a view. Seth moved towards the field's edge with a well-earned swagger. "That's junk, Cullen."

"Thanks," I mumbled and waved sarcastically. "Slumming it tonight?"

"Just driving by." I watched silently as he crouched behind home plate, taunting. "Show me…"

"Bare handed?"

"Sure." He smirked, ready.

"Well, aren't you the badass." I launched, he caught, cringing slightly.

"Seen better. Tighten the fuck up." He corralled used pitches around his feet.

"Oh really?" My arm vibrated as I powered through another… then another.

"Sloppy. Settle down, man."

"Fuck you." I pulled my glove off. Running a filthy hand over my mouth, I reached for the beer can planted in the clay.

"Where's Bella, Edward?" I began again, surprising. He lost his balance with narrowed eyes.

"Home... sleeping."

"And you're on the mound, wasted, throwing shit." He stood, I rushed. A cathartic scuffle, shoving, pushing… equaling nothing. Seth caught me at his waist, tumbling lower. Letting me fall, hitting the bottom, he watched patiently. I heaved worthless, his hand rested, supporting my shoulder.

~BtU~

"Why's she on the porch?" I wondered anxiously. Bella sat barefoot, peach tank clinging from the dense heat. Stumbling out of Seth's rental car, he paced ahead to greet, hug and whisper an explanation. She nodded, he pecked her forehead.

"I'm gonna see you Sunday. Sober." He sighed at the bottom stair. A light fist to my chest and he was gone. Bella and I stared.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm fine. Why are you out here, it's dark. I don't like you out here alone."

"The power's out." She shrugged, looking away. "It's actually cooler out here."

"What are you talking about?" I pushed through the front door... darkness.

"Did you drop off the payment?" She followed with our only flashlight, her tone measured, weary. I slid down the wall near the open front window, burying my head in my hands. "Fucking tell me, what the hell is going on with you?" She stood, arms crossed, deserving answers.

"No."

"No… you forgot? Or no… you couldn't?"

I paused to compose, process. "We fell behind. Your registration was due, now tuition. I thought we'd get at least... like thirty days…"

"Edward!" She dropped the small red flashlight, as she palmed over her eyes.

"I didn't want to disappoint you. You've been so fucking excited about school. We need you to go to school." I shouted, then regretted as she kneeled in front of me.

"Look at me. Baby, you better fucking look at me," she demanded, squaring my jaw. "I've never been disappointed in you. Ever. Don't keep anything from me." I leaned into her cradling hand. "We're in this together. I love you."

"I got fired yesterday." It rolled easily. I breathed heavy watching her expression. She fell back on her ass, mouth parted in surprise. "I'm sorry, Bella."

~BtU~

I jerked awake from the sound of the telephone piercing though the silent house. In only my boxers, I slid off the worn tapestry sofa, lost to the time of day. Hurrying down the short hallway towards the kitchen, I noticed. A door forever closed, wasn't. Our baby's room, open and empty. I willed myself inside, breathing in the quiet. What would have been filled with life and love, laughter and peace was bare. No boxes, no baskets… Confused, I couldn't make sense, more than two years; suddenly she had a need to clear.

The ringing looped over, I ran hoping. "Bella?"

"No, no it's Billy. I just got the final tryout info. You're on the mound, Friday at two." My eyes glazed, I used the doorframe to support. "Edward? This is it, son."

"Yeah… no, it's good. Thanks, Billy."

As the late afternoon sun fell, I'd made the last of anxious calls to find Bella. I straightened rooms and rugs in the sweltering heat as the day wore on. Images of Riley's room punished as I worried that she was alone in the hurt. Boxes sealed and still, sat on the wood planked floor for so long, step by slowest step we moved to the next phase of our grief.

Determined she'd find her way home eventually, I was forced to forego our traditional pizza night, pouring a bowl of cereal instead. Through the top half of a cheap bottle of left over wine, I finished washing the few dishes left in the sink and swept the floor. As night fell I sipped slower and hunted for candles.

"Edward…"

"Here. I'm here…" I moved quickly down the hall towards the dark front room. "Where've you been?"

"I…" She scanned the small room, curling her beautiful mouth into a sweet smile. "What's with the candles?"

I shrugged, smirking. "I couldn't find the flashlight." Rolling my wrist behind my back, I tossed it on the sofa. She angled her head, pursing her lips with an arched brow.

"Yeah? What are you hiding?" Gesturing towards me, quizzing playfully. I slowly closed the distance, grabbing her hands, our bodies flush. Her head tilted back as I gently pressed us against the wall. Laced fingers braced above along the stucco, our lips slightly parted, her eyes fell shut.

I skimmed the length of her graceful neck. "I missed you today," I whispered with soft kisses over glistening skin. Releasing hands, I cupped the sides of her face, teasing my thumbs over flushed cheeks until she met my stare. Grasping the white cotton of my t-shirt, she tugged, pulling me closer still. "Are we okay?"

"Stop talking."

"K..." I caught her lower lip, sucking gently as my fingers gently tangled in her mussed, chestnut hair. Our tongues tangled slowly as she dusted over my waist with needy hands. She gasped lightly as my hardening length grew against her middle. I rested my forehead to hers, savoring.

"Come on." I started backwards, lifting a cream candle from the trunk table. Bella's fingers hooked in the back of my jeans as we made our way awkwardly down the hall. Neither willing to let go…

A/N

Thanks very much for reading xo

Huge thanks to our wonderful pre-readers Obsmama and FFpassion. xxoo

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Chapter 3 will be posted on Tuesday. Happy Mother's Day.