Author's Note: And, now, our finale. Is anybody ready for the twist at the end?
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Ch. 3: "Of Panties and Flying Mint Bunny."
America and England then stepped out of the burning car.
"America?" Tsubaki said in suprise.
"Fuck yeah!" Black*Star yelled.
"Coming again to save the motherfucking day. Yeah, I know it's bullshit, too," England stated.
"Iggy, Team America: World Police was not a shitty movie! It was fucking awesome... In America!" America argued.
"The whole movie was one big farce about crude humor and even more crude humor. Plus, nobody likes that bloody movie!" England defended.
"Ignore him, guys. Iggy's just being a tsundere. He just secretly likes the movie but openly says it sucks because he'll be embarassed if he said he liked the movie," America told everyone else.
"SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP, YOU DUMBASS WANKER!" England shouted.
That night, everybody was in the hotel lobby discussing how they were going to execute this plan.
"Okay, before we begin, Soul Eater Evans needs to identify if this item belongs to a witch called Blair or not," America said before he pulled out a pair of lacy and skimpy panties. Somebody wolf whistled in the background. Everybody sweatdropped.
"Hell no, i'm not touching that horny witches' panties, you sicko!" Soul yelled to America.
"Then how do you know that their BLAIR'S panties and not MIZUNE'S panties?" America asked Soul.
"She gave me a lap dance in that underwear set from Victoria's Secret once!" Soul anwsered, causing everyone else to go red.
"Soul! You even know that Blair's underwear is from Victoria's Secret? What is wrong with you?" Maka asked Soul.
"For shame, Soul! For shame!" Black*Star shamed Soul.
"Relax guys. Blair gave me her Christmas list last year, and I quote from it, 'The only things I need are from Victoria's Secret'," Soul explained.
"Anyway, moving on. Our mission is to infiltrate the SRDI and get those kids outta there! The children are our heroic future, and we must rescue them if they don't want to end up like the kids on Neon Genesis Evangelion, because Evangelion sucks!" America explained.
"America, how do you know that those little wankers are the kids from Evangelion, you dumbass git?" England asked America.
"I did a spy mission before hand. I did not see Shinji Ikari, Rei Ayanama, Asuka Langely Soru, or Kaowru Nagisa. There. Your argument is invalid, Iggy," America explained.
"JUST SHUT UP ALREADY AND LET ME SPEAK LOGICALLY, BAKA!" England yelled. Everybody else sweatdropped.
"Can we go to Benihana?" Law asked England.
"No! And you why?" England asked everyone.
"You're afraid they're going to cook Flying Mint Bunny?" America asked England.
"I never said ANYTHING about a creature called, 'Flying Mint Bunny', you nutburger! Now, moving on, tomorrow, we are leaving right after breakfast so we can raid the SRDI! I don't want anybody getting drunk, getting high off something, wandering off, slacking off, getting sick, dying, ending up in the hospital, arrested, kidnapped, sent into slavery, stoned, chased by the police, disappearing, ending up on the local news, drowning, choking, or piloting an EVA Unit, Gekkostate robot, or Gundam robot! Do you hear me?" England explained. Soul raised his hand.
"Yes, Soul, what is it?" England asked Soul coldly.
"By 'stoned', do you mean, 'getting people to throw rocks at us', or, 'getting high on pot'?" Soul asked England, who began shaking.
"Okay, i'm waiting for Ashton Kutcher now!" Soul said, hoping this was an episode of Punk'd. England stopped shaking.
"BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!"
The next day...
"...BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!" England yelled. He had been yelling "Baka!" ever since Soul asked that question the day before. America then hit England on the head with a shovel.
"Nailed it. He's going in the trunk," America said as he lifted up England and put him in the trunk of the car.
"You DO realize that Arthur Kirkland is a vital part of our journey?" Professor Stein asked America.
"Yeah, but, he was being an asshole. He deserved some punishment, Texas-style," America explained.
"This isn't Texas, this is Narnia," Professor Stein explained.
"We're in Narnia? Dude, that's awesome!" America yelled. Everyone else facepalmed.
"You're JUST realizing that?" Kidd asked America.
"I thought we were Maine or New York or Massachusetts or Montana or Alaska, where we can see Russia from Sarah Palin's house," America explained as everyone got into the car. Much facepalming followed due to the Sarah Palin refrence.
"Is it me, or is this the first fanfic where the authoress' OCs haven't shown up yet?" Maka asked everyone.
"There's no time to dwell on that, Maka. Right now, we have to raid the SRDI. After that, we can get McRib sandwiches at Mc -" Professor Stein explained before everybody else cut him off.
"No! No more McDonald's refrences!" Everyone yelled.
"Alright, let's go defeat Madam Red," Professor Stein said as he began to drive. After driving a couple of yards, they arrived at the SRDI.
"We were THAT close to the SRDI? We could've walked!" Bonney complained.
"You could've walked here with Law, your sugar daddy. As for the rest of us, we were too busy watching old Cartoon Network cartoons," Professor Stein explained.
"Hell yeah, those were the best cartoons!" Soul said. Then, Edward Elric came out of a wardrobe that was in the middle of the field.
"Is this the second part of the Golden Compass parody trilogy?" Edward asked the gang.
"Sorry, kid. We're only parodying the movie," Professor Stein apologized. After a long time of walking up to the building, they arrived.
"Wow. This view looks like the desktop on my computer," Soul commented. Inside the SRDI...
"Father, look, intruders!" A girl named Nemu Kurotsuchi pointed to a screen on a security camera. Her father, Mayuri, got out a shotgun.
"Watch the cameras. If I get shot, it's okay. You can stay here and watch House," Mayuri instructed. Outside, Madam Red had just "killed" Death the Kid, Patty, and Liz.
"You monster! You're worse than JWow!" Soul yelled to Madam Red.
"By the way, Maka... I am your mother," Madam Red revealed.
"Noooooo!" Maka cried as she buried her face in her hands. Then, the screen went black. It was revealed that the cast of Soul Eater was watching the fanfic, which was a movie.
"Worst. Movie. Ever," Kid commented.
"At least I was a good actor," Professor Stein commented.
"I didn't even get any lines!" Azusa protested as Shinigami-sama was grading the film.
"So, Shingami-san, how did we do?" Maka asked Shinigami-san.
"Maka Albarn, Soul Eater Evans, Black*Star, Tsubaki Nakatsukasa, Death the Kid, Patty Thompson, and Liz Thompson, due to bad acting, Black*Star's severe ADD, and the fact that the ending was unresolved... I'm giving you an F-," Shinigami-san explained. Maka gasped and fainted.
"Can I have producer credits?" Soul asked everyone else.
Final Notes: Review, review, and review!