And as it turns out, the first one-shot in this Isshushipping collection has very little of Black even in it. This particular story is actually N/shota!N, meaning self-cest and obviously shota. This is also set in the Harmoniashipping universe, so there are mentions of Ghetsis raping N. If you don't care for any of that, I'll be uploaded other things that don't necessarily involve this stuff. Just don't say I didn't warn you.
A Small Comfort
N lay wrapped in Black's arms, pressing his naked and sweat-soaked body as close to his lover as possible. Black was already asleep, and N was close behind him, his nerves still humming contentedly from their long evening in bed. He was so happy, now. The pain and sadness that had once made up his life seemed like a bad dream in these moments of bliss.
'If only I could have known.' N thought sleepily to himself. 'If only I could have known this pleasure, this feeling of love.' Glancing up at Black's peaceful expression, he smiled. 'If only I could have known that this boy would one day save me.'
With that wish lingering in his mind, he drifted off.
When N opened his eyes, it took a moment for him to realize what was wrong with the sight before him.
The cloudy sky painted on the ceiling. The toy airplane endlessly circling. These things were so familiar to him that for just a second he thought nothing of it. But then he remembered. He should not be here, in his room, in his castle, clothed and alone. He was with Black, in their bed, in the hotel room they were staying in as they journeyed.
In the next instant a terrible panic gripped him, and he wondered if perhaps it had all been a dream. Sitting up quickly as nausea sent his head spinning, he looked around frantically in the desperate hope that he would wake up and find himself with Black again.
But he did not wake up. Instead, his eyes fell upon something shocking.
Kneeling inside the circle of train tracks was a young boy with wild green hair and a golden Menger Sponge hanging around his neck. It was himself.
For several long beats, the two Ns stared at each other. Then the smaller broke the silence.
"Who are you?" He asked, looking his future self up and down in confusion. "How did you get here? Why do you look like me?"
N did not answer immediately. He was almost certainly dreaming, but it all seemed so real… What was going on?
Glancing back at his child self, N noticed the anxiousness in those familiar eyes. "Uh.. I am.. Well, I don't know how I got here, but I am you. An older you."
The younger N took this in slowly, but eventually nodded. "Ok."
Thankful that he was able to accept the situation easily, (of course he would, this was himself, after all) N stood and looked around his own room. It was just as he remembered it from this time in his life. Seven years old. The timeless days that would pass without sight or sound from another person, the toys and the math books to keep him company when he was not allowed to see his Pokemon friends. The aching loneliness he had felt would never end.
N remembered his thoughts as he had fallen asleep. Was he dreaming the realization of that wish? That he could go back and tell himself that everything would be alright, that he would be free and loved and treated with care?
Looking back at the younger one, who was still watching him, N smiled and walked over to sit with the boy.
"Now that I'm here," He said, picking up one of the wooden blocks scattered around. "Would you like me to play with you?"
Large blue-green eyes widened. "Really?"
The youthful face of his former self lit up in delight. "Yes!"
And that was how the day was spent. They played all kinds of games, although both of them were sorely unpracticed in things that involved more than one person. But since they were the same person, they were able to work in harmony.
"Do I ever become king?" The younger N inquired as they watched the toy train cruise around the track they had designed.
The child nodded. N remembered that at this point in time, he had not yet decided on his dream to create separate worlds for Pokemon and humans. That would not be for another year, after Ghetsis began his mission to convince N that all humans were vicious monsters.
"What's the matter?" The younger N looked up at his elder counterpart with worry when he noticed him shudder.
N tried to smile reassuringly. "It's nothing." But now that he thought of it.. N stood and went over to the back of the room where a calender was kept, each passing day marked neatly with an X. The date confirmed his suspicion. The reason his seven-year-old self still had a light in his eyes was because that had not occurred, yet. But in just two days, that light would be snuffed out for years, never to be relit until Black slowly but surely coaxed it back to life.
Returning silently to the younger N's side, he watched the small boy happily begin rearranging the block tunnels and arches over the tracks. What could he possibly say to that child? How could he explain that his days of innocence were almost over? Was there any comfort he could give that would make the pain less crushing? If only there was a way to tell him that someday there would be a very special person who would teach him the true beauty of the world, that it was possible to want to be touched by someone.
Without really making a conscious decision, N reached out and placed his hand on his former self's fragile back, feeling how thin and weak he was beneath the thin fabric of the shirt. The child glanced back curiously, completely unaware of what it meant to be hurt beyond just the physical.
'If only I can make you see.' N thought sadly. 'If only I could show you how wonderful it can feel.' But he could. He was here. Dream or not, he had the opportunity to do just that. Right now in this moment, he could gently and lovingly take his own virginity before his father brutally rips it away.
It would be a small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless.
"I love you." N told himself softly.
Carefully he pulled the boy into his lap and wrapped his arms around the slight body. "I know that's something you don't understand yet, but I want you to know. Even though I myself am still learning, I want to relate to you this feeling I have found. Will you trust me?"
"..Of course I would trust myself.. But what are you talking about? Why are you crying?"
N leaned into the touch of the small hand that reached up to wipe away his tears. "In a few days, something bad is going to happen. And it won't end there. You will have to experience a lot of pain, for a very long time. But it will stop someday. I promise it will."
"I don't understand. What kind of bad thing?"
N laid his younger self back on the floor and knelt over him. "Ghetsis is going to hurt you. It will be terrifying, and you'll think you might die. He'll tell you it's because he loves you and want you to learn of the pain humans want to inflict upon each other. He will hurt you many times in many ways, and then leave you alone to cry and bleed until you stop feeling, and stop caring."
Now the smaller N looked distressed. "I don't want that to happen.."
"I know. But you have to be strong and endure it. And someday.. Someday you will meet a very special person. Neither of you will know it at first, but he will come to love you, the way someone is supposed to be loved. And you will love him. Selflessly he shall become stronger than anyone to save you, and then one day he will take you in his arms and show you that being loved doesn't have to hurt. It can feel better than anything. But you.. you shouldn't have to wait for him to understand that."
N leaned down close to the troubled child's face and smiled. "That's why I'm going to show you now. So no matter how horrible it is, you can remember this moment and know that it's only a matter of time before you can be with him the same way."
"What are you going to do..?"
"It'll be strange at first, but just relax and it will feel very good." N slid his hand up beneath the boy's shirt and brushed a light caress across his chest. Slowly his fingers drifted to one small nipple and began gently teasing it. The younger N blushed, but did not protest.
Pushing up the fabric, N tended to the other bright pink bud with his mouth, earning him a gasp from his former self. After blowing cool air on the sensitive, wet nipple, he switched to the other and did the same. Then, rolling them both between his fingers, he moved up to kiss the boy whose breath was quickening.
Softly he massaged the other's lips with his own before slipping his tongue inside. The younger N made a sound, his hands coming up to hold onto the elder's shirt as he tried to grow accustomed to the odd sensation. Coming up for air at last, N moved to spread kisses along the boy's slender neck, looking for the weak spots Black had taken such care to find. When the youth began to whimper, tilting his head to give better access, N pulled off his shorts and underwear.
Leaning back, he moved closer as he parted slender legs and draped them around his waist.
"Now what?" The younger N asked, face flushed and chest rising and falling rapidly.
The older N slid his hands up the soft insides of the other's thighs. "Now I'm going to really make you feel good." With the tip of one finger he began to stroke his former self's small cock, then he took it in his hand and coaxed it to life.
The younger N began to shake, his cheeks growing a darker shade of red as he watched the elder's ministrations. Biting his lip, he moaned slightly, hips raising of their own accord as his inexperienced body sought more.
N could not help but smile at the sight as heat began to pool between his own legs. "Feels strange, right?"
"Don't worry. This is natural. Just let yourself be taken by it." He rubbed his thumb over the tip, spreading the leaking precum down around the throbbing shaft to make it more comfortable as he sped up his movements.
The younger N was gasping now, his hands clutching his hiked-up shirt, needing to hold onto something as he was swept away. N wrapped his free arm around the boy and held him supportively as his back arched off the floor and he cried out. Cupping his hand around the head to catch the younger's release, N murmured soothing words into the other's ear, guiding him through his climax. When the small, trembling body beneath him went limp, N sat up again to observe his spent younger self with tender pride.
"Is.. is that it..?" The panting boy asked in a dazed voice.
"No." N replied, coating his fingers in the warm, white liquid trickling down between the other's legs. "That's only the beginning. Just relax, now. This will be uncomfortable for a little bit."
The younger's eyes widened slightly when he felt a gentle prodding at his entrance. But the elder N continued to smile reassuringly, so he made an effort to do as the other instructed. A long finger slid inside him, probing the tight tunnel slowly. The small N whimpered, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.
"Does that hurt?" The other N asked gently.
The boy shook his head. "Not really… It's just.. weird.. AH!" He started when something like an electric spark rushed through him.
Knowing he had found the right place, N continued to stimulate that same spot as he pushed in another finger.
Caught between pleasure and pain, the smaller N's head tossed back and forth, his soft cries growing louder when the other started stroking his cock again.
"Just in case," N said, hoping that he was being heard. "You should do this with yourself every day. There's no knowing when he might come for you, and it makes it a bit easier if you're prepared."
The younger N nodded, beyond words as he was already rising back to that moment of mindlessness. Adding a third finger, N reached down and undid his pants. Once he felt that the boy was loose enough, he rubbed the rest of the cum on his hand over his own aching manhood.
"Are you ready?" He asked, slightly breathless. The very idea of doing this with his much younger self -of taking his own virginity like this- was truly bizarre. But he had to do it. He wanted to do it.
"For wha-" The smaller N stopped when he opened his eyes and noticed his future self's cock and made the connection himself. Face flushing even deeper red, he looked up uncertainly. "Will it fit..?"
"Just stay relaxed and it will." N pulled the other's slim hips up and positioned himself. He had never actually been on the giving end of sex before, and honestly was not entirely sure if it was as simple as it seemed, but he would just have to rely on instinct. Slowly and carefully, he pushed inside, gasping when pleasure washed over him. Making sure to move just a little at a time, he finally made it all the way in and stopped, groaning at the tight warmth surrounding him.
Below, the younger N was trying very hard to remain still and grow accustomed to feeling of the large, hot hardness that had gone in so deep. Tears spilled freely from his glazed eyes, although more out of reflex than actual pain.
"Are you alright?" The elder N asked when he had control of his voice again.
The smaller one nodded and reached out to take hold of the other's shoulders when that pressing heat receded slightly before returning. N braced himself on his arms as he rocked his hips, slowly and shallowly at first. After trying a few different angles, he felt the younger N beneath him buck when that particular spot was found again and made sure to keep rubbing against it as he returned to stroking the boy's throbbing cock. Picking up the pace, the older N finally let himself go and gave in to the pleasure they both now shared.
Two versions of the same voice, one adult and one child, reverberated around the deceptively pleasant room. Passion had completely taken over their writhing bodies, consuming all thought processes in their minds that in all other circumstances never rested. Their dance was inelegant and juvenile, even on the part of the one who had so much unwanted experience, but that did not matter to either of them. It was pure need. N desperately pounded into his younger self, craving the small body seemingly intent on consuming him. Beneath him, the other innocently begged for more, no longer in control of himself and too overcome with sensation to care. In his inhibition he braced his small feet on the floor to gain more leverage as he eagerly thrust back against the elder, having come to love the feeling of the burning rod inside him.
Then almost unexpectedly they tumbled off the proverbial edge, crying out together and freezing as their already addled brains were wiped blank. After a moment like that, they fell as if boneless back to the floor in a panting heap.
Their limbs tightly entwined, the two Ns lay there for a while as they caught their breaths.
"Don't forget this." The elder N murmured. "And don't forget that you will meet the one who loves you more than anything one day."
"I won't.." The younger N replied with a yawn. "I promise.."
Smiling, N pulled his former self closer and shut his eyes.
If it can be like this, then…
Black stood nervously in front of N, who had only just returned from his month-long flight around the world after their final battle.
"The thing is.." He said slowly. But if he did not say it now, then he might not have the chance to again if N decided to leave once more. "I.. I'm in love with you.. Um.. You don't have to.. do anything. I just wanted you to know how I feel.."
Because he had been staring at the ground, Black was taken by surprise when N suddenly stepped forward and lifted his face up. For a moment the brunet was captured in the beautiful blue-green eyes of the young man who had captured his heart, then his own chocolate eyes closed as N leaned down to kiss him.
When they parted, N wrapped his arms around the short trainer. "So it really is you." He whispered. "I had hoped.. No. I knew from the very first moment that you were the one. A part of me was just afraid to believe it."
"Wh..what are you talking about..?" Black asked, startled but pleased by this unexpected affection.
"A long time ago, someone told me that one day I would meet a very special person who would love me. I waited.. for years and years I waited for this.. I wanted so much for it to be you, and I was right." N tightened his grasp, pulling the teenager as close as possible until they could feel the fluttering of each other's hearts. "I'm so happy.. Black.. I'm so happy..!"
Black returned the embrace wholeheartedly. He could not fathom how someone could have predicted this, but that hardly mattered. What did matter was that N felt the same way, and from now until forever, they would never be apart.