Disclaimerrrrrr: Me do not own Bleach. The lucky bastard Tite Kubo does. *curses to the sky* I do, however, own Soya Yamamoto and her Zanpakuto.
WELCOME TO MAH NEW FANFIC. Why am I starting a new one when I really should be updating other ones? ... Because I had a very good idea while I was listening to music and looking at Koma-Koma's information on the Bleach Wiki.
Hope you enjoy! Oh yeah, and the theme song IS "Riot Girl" by Good Charlotte. *headbangs*
"Hey! Let go already! I told you, Yumi, I'm not into you that way! I prefer guys who don't sparkle more than the entirety of Fruits Basket!"
A disgusted Yumichika just tightened his grip on the young woman's arm, glaring at her. "And I told you that I would never be interested in such an ugly little thing! You never learned your lesson, did you? I'm not touching you of my own free will - believe me! Yamamoto-sama asked me to bring you here!"
"Well, what if I don't wanna talk to the old coot? Let me go!" The black-haired girl thrashed about, trying to break free of Yumichika's grasp. "Stop touching me! You're getting Yumichika bishie sparkles all over me! Do you know how many baths I'm gonna have to take to get them off?"
"Come on, Soya! I have to get back to my actual job! You think I have fun dragging you all over Timbuktu? You didn't come by reason, I had to take you here by force!"
She reached over and smacked him upside the head. "Let me go, bitch, or I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
They had finally reached Yamamoto's office, and Yumichika happily/angrily opened the door. He practically tossed the girl, Soya, inside before sticking his head into the room, shouting, "She's all yours!", and slamming the door. It even shook the walls a little.
Soya whirled around to face Yamamoto, and crossed her arms. She shifted her weight to one side, blew her bangs up, and rolled her eyes. She very clearly didn't wish to be here.
Yamamoto took one look at the girl, and sighed heavily. "Soya, where is your gi? Did you lose it again?"
"Hell no, I didn't lose it! Do you think I'm that stupid?" Her fingers tightened against her forearms. "My insane lieutenant dyed my robes pink! PINK! I would be fine with purple, or even red, but fucking pink? I couldn't wear it, 'cause the color makes me want to puke!"
"Hanataro in the Fourth Division has the spares. Please go see him when we're done here." Yamamoto sat down after finding a file about an inch thick. He held it up, displaying how many papers it had inside. "Do you know what this is, Soya?"
She snorted. "The real question is, do I care? And the answer is no."
"This is a folder filled with formal complaints and records of the trouble you have caused during the time you have been here." He put it down on his desk, giving her a stern look. "Soya, you've been here six months. Do you see what you've done in those six months? There are at least ten complaints from each division. In the past six months, you have used Byakuya's kenseikan as binoculars - twice - replaced Iba's sunglasses with reading lenses, tricked Soi Fon into leaving her post four times, pitted Kiyone and Sentaro against each other sixteen times-"
"That would have happened whether I was there or not," Soya protested.
"-You have also destroyed several of the Fourth Division's oxygen machines, you have drawn on Hitsugaya's face nine times, you have exacerbated Ukitake's tuberculosis more times than years I've lived, you have painted both sets of Hisagi's nails multiple times, stolen Rangiku's sake, chopped Izuru's bangs off, made Hinamori cry at least twelve times..." He flipped the folder shut, his face disapproving. "And that's just the first few pages of this folder. Do you have anything to say in your defense?"
Soya pursed her lips and rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, appearing to think very hard. She nodded a few times, tilting her head from side to side, then returned her gaze to him. "Nah, what's the use?"
"I see then. No regret for all you've done." Yamamoto folded his hands with another sigh. "Soya, I would think that by now you know that I expect far better of you."
"You always expect better of me," she huffed, uncrossing her arms. "And I'm never good enough."
"Soya, it's not that you're not good enough. You just don't try. You know you could be well beyond good enough if you would try."
"Well... maybe I don't wanna be good enough." She brushed her bangs back, pouting at nothing. "I like the Eleventh Division because they're laid back, because Captain Kenpachi lets me do whatever I want, because Yumichika insults my appearance and Captain Kenpachi doesn't care if I beat him till he can't move. Why do you think I joined there and have refused all offers of transfers?"
"Nobody wants you to transfer!" Yamamoto cried, exasperated. "For goodness's sakes, Soya, the Seventh Division captain doesn't even know you and he's afraid of you!"
"Well, good! Maybe I want people to be afraid of me!" She looked out the window instead of focusing on Yamamoto. "Fear is a good companion. When people fear you, they're compliant. They do whatever you say."
"Fear is not what we rule by here, Soya. You know that."
"Look. Can you just slap my hand, give me bathroom duty again, and send me merrily back to the Eleventh Division? Captain's not going to be pleased when he finds out I'm cleaning the urinals again." She rolled her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time. "I'd like to turn him into a urinal, is what I'd like to do..."
"Soya!" Yamamoto shouted. "I'm afraid you won't be returning to the Eleventh Division just yet."
"What? Do I have a different punishment?"
"No. Due to all these complaints, your disobedient and lackadaisical attitude, and the fact that I like messing with people's minds, I have gone over your and Kenpachi's heads and transferred you to the Seventh Division. Effective tomorrow morning."
Soya's jaw dropped and her eyes bugged out, the first display of real emotion since she'd gotten to the office. "Jii-san!" (1) she screamed. "You - what - you can't do this to me! I don't want to leave the Eleventh Division!"
"Which is precisely why I am doing this. I expect more of my own flesh and blood, Soya, and I will not stand for this. You have no manners, no respect, and little remorse for your words and actions. The only reason I'm not sending you to Byakuya is because he would show no mercy. The captain of the Seventh Division, Sajin Komamura - he will straighten you out. He is the most loyal, respectful man in the entire Gotei 13. He will whip you into shape without being merciless. I warn you, however, that you will not come into his squad with immediate respect. I know that happened in Kenpachi's squad, and he is a fool for awarding respect to the undeserving. You will have to earn Komamura's trust, and believe me when I say that is a difficult task."
Soya's glare and anger had somewhat died down to a few smoldering embers of resentment and resignation. "So... there's really nothing I can do to change your mind, Jii-san? I can't... serve my punishment out in the Eleventh Division, being beaten to within an inch of death by Ikkaku over and over until I have been punished appropriately?"
"No, you can't. I suggest you go pack and say your good-byes."
"How long am I going to be there? I don't want to be there too long, I have things to do in the Eleventh Division..."
"Do those things include sleeping and arguing with Yumichika?"
"I'm not sure how long you'll be there." He stood up, taking the folder and walking back to the file cabinet. "It depends on how quickly you decide to obey Komamura."
Soya glared at her grandfather's back, stuck her tongue out, and stomped out the doors back to the Eleventh Division to break the bad news.
(1) Jii-san - Grandpa/Gramps... I'm not sure which Soya is using. Which do you think she should use? XD
Soya means "coarse (as in vulgar)" in Japanese. See why I chose that name? LOL. Describes her personality, yet sounds cool enough to get by the radar.
I absolutely love writing characters like Soya. She mouths off, she doesn't do anything she's told, she's lazy, and... she gets in trouble for it. See, that's the difference between her and a Mary Sue. XD They never get in trouble, yet look at all she's done and she's receiving just the right amount of punishment. Why didn't Yamamoto do this before she did all this stuff? ... Well, she's his granddaughter. There's a little favoritism involved, but now he's getting to the punishing.
I know exactly how the next one's gonna go. I shall get writing it post-haste!
... PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEWS MAKE ME WANT TO WRITE. ^^