Chapter 9: No Regrets
Dean never felt more drained and powerless in his life. He inhaled weakly, burying his face into his pillow. He breathed in the familiar scent and exhaled slowly. It felt like he'd just been dragged through Hell and back all over again. His body ached and his soul felt sore, if that was possible, he thought dully. He remembered when Cas had been forced to touch Bobby's soul to live and how lifeless Bobby looked afterwards. Now he could relate to the guy. He felt decades older and depleted to his very bones.
"Dean…" a husky, achingly beautiful voice said in the darkened space of the panic room. A sudden surge of relief and excitement filled him. Castiel was alive. Their stupid plan had worked after all. He almost laughed in slight hysteria because of how reckless he had been with the pit of Purgatory literally at their feet, opening up to swallow them whole, right after Balthazar got snatched. Yet, they had managed to survive, through it all. Except for Balthazar, he realized with dread. Poor bastard, he thought, he was a jackass but no one deserved to be taken like that. He refused to dwell on it though as he pushed the thoughts of the ill-fated angel down and away. Tonight, there would be no regrets and no guilt for what he planned on doing with Cas- his angel.
He rolled over onto his back and saw Cas standing above him, his face etched with concern and fear. "Are you all right?" He asked, bending low to inspect him.
Dean pushed his fingers into his eyes, "Yeah… I think so."
"You passed out after I touched your soul," the angel explained.
"I figured," Dean breathed out.
"I'm sorry…" Cas suddenly said in a sad, distant voice. "This is my fault. I should've listened to you… I should've stopped."
Alarmed, Dean sat up, ignoring the dizziness that fogged his brain at the motion. "Hey- where's this coming from? We already went through this."
Cas looked away, ashamed. "Balthazar's death is on me now, Dean."
Dean reeled, "No- that's not true, Cas. All of us made our choices last night, Balthazar wanted to help- he knew the risks."
"You don't understand. I could've given my blood to stop the gates from opening. But I was… scared."
"Stop…" Dean pushed his hand through Cas's thick brown hair, before moving downward to grip the back of his neck and rub the tense muscles there. "You didn't know that would happen…"
Cas sighed, "I still failed my friend."
"If you give up on him, then yeah- you failed him." He glared into those bright blue eyes, "We don't know if he's alive or dead- the least you could do is find out- make sure that arrogant prick is alive and kicking. Then we'll figure out a way to get him outta that pit, together." He promised reassuringly.
A small glimmer of relief and hope flickered over the angel's handsome face. Cas nodded, touching the hand that gripped him around the neck, fingers brushing over the calloused tips of his hunter. "Thank you," he replied gruffly, his blue eyes shining up at him.
Dean said nothing, he couldn't. His brain had shut off from the look Cas gave him. Just one look and it was over. Dean felt the rush of memories from their first night together. How perfect it nearly was. Yet it couldn't be when there had been conflict between them. But it was over now. They no longer fought on difference sides, or each other. They were back on the same team, a family again- except this time, their relationship had changed. Cas meant more to him than a ally or friend, he was his lover and more importantly, the love of his life. Dean felt the all too familiar tingling beginning to stir inside him. Some called it butterflies or excitement. To Dean, it felt like love.
Now, he knew he would finally get what he had always wanted from the angel- his love.
Dean bent forward, his face inches away and his lips a breath apart from the angel. Cas shuddered a breath before Dean felt his restraint break to pieces. His lips slammed ferociously against his, needing him so badly, that nothing could hold him back now. Finally! He would share his love with Cas and know it would be returned!
Cas grunted in surprise and only hesitated for a split second before parting his lips and letting Dean sink into the warmth and flavor of his mouth. Both men groaned at the heat. He swept his tongue impatiently into his, devouring his essence. He felt Cas's hands reaching out to touch his body, just as eager as his tongue as they frantically pulled at his clothes. Dean felt his arousal tighten when Cas pulled at his belt buckle, trying to undo it but still kissing the hell outta him. Dean chuckled bitterly, loving the friction Cas was unintentionally bringing to him.
He pulled back, uncertain. "What are you laughing at?"
Wordlessly, his gaze locked to the angel as he unbuckled his own belt and slid out of his pants. Cas watched him, his eyes growing heavy with the same desire in which Dean had growing considerably between his thighs. He stripped off his shirt and slowly laid down on the bed, completely naked and utterly vulnerable to his lover. He saw the jaw flex in Cas's mouth, as though he were quietly restraining himself from jumping his bones right there, which Dean secretly hoped he would. He would love to see Cas lose control, just like he did whenever the angel was around.
With confident hands, Cas began undressing himself, his cold, hard gaze never wavering from Dean's. His arousal hardened instantly. He liked it when Cas was sure of himself, it was sexy. Cas noted his thickening cock and a flash of a smirk on his lips. Moments later Cas was naked, his naturally lean body revealed, sensual and arousing.
His beautiful cock was erect and ready for the taking. Cas moved on top of him, the bed creaking beneath them from the motion. When Cas looked down on him, Dean slid a sneaky hand up his backside and cupped his ass fondly. Cas leaned forward and captured his lips. This kiss was not as frantic, it was slow and steamy, building the tension until it smoldered.
Helpless against the onslaught, Dean felt his body move, unable to resist the need for more. His back arched upwards, their stiff cocks brushing, driving him crazy with lust. Using the hand that had been cupping his ass, Dean slammed him down, and then jerked against him. Cas gasped, his hand clutching his shoulder, their lips inches apart as they let their arousals take over. Dean took control by holding Cas's ass cheeks firmly and leading him up and over his cock, until the angel began to buck wildly on top of him, no longer able to stand the heat. Dean felt the wetness of his precum and the trembling angel in his embrace.
He grabbed the back of Cas's neck and brought him in for another kiss, distracting him with his lips and tongue. Cas whimpered. Dean sat up then, wrapping Cas's legs around him, and his cock between the threshold of his backside. They sat together, wrapped in each other's arms.
Cas moaned, his hips jerking at the sensation, his cock already wet at the tip with cum. Dean flicked his fingers over him, making him cry out and aggressively hump him. The muscles in his legs tense and his mouth open slightly with absolute craving. Dean's cock suddenly became unimaginably hard at the sight of Cas so close to ecstasy.
He did it again, this time pressing viciously into the slit of his cock with the pad of his thumb. Cas gasped for air desperately, his fingers digging painfully into his shoulders. "Dean…" he groaned out, his cock swelling near to bursting.
Dean blindingly reached for the lube by the nightstand and in seconds was ready to enter his angel. Cas hummed in need as Dean dipped his fingers into him, widening him, arousing him. Once Cas began panting with desire and his eyes fogged over, Dean knew he was ready. With one hard stroke, Dean entered him. They gasped and began moving instantly. Neither of them wanted it to end and both of them couldn't stop. Cas bucked on top of him, riding him like a cowboy. Dean panted heavily, the feel of Cas's heat pushing him further and further to the edge. It felt so perfect! Hearing the choppy breaths, feeling the hot flesh pressed against him and the excitement peeking, all reminded him of Heaven. The angel in his embrace was his Heaven. The tension gripped him now, tightening around his balls and making the tip of his cock tingle. He grabbed Cas's manhood and palmed him, pulling and tugging him. They both gasped and with one final thrust, Dean came, shattering all thought and perception. Cas erupted gloriously, his face held in pure rapture.
They fell to the bed, spent and thoroughly exhausted, Dean more so. He just had his soul touched and then it shattered with a mind-blowing orgasm, so he had every right to revel in his fatigue. Cas sighed happily and laid on top of him, his head over Dean's heart. Dean caressed his hair.
After a few minutes Cas glanced up at him, seeing the obvious depletion in his face. "Are you all right, Dean?"
Even though he felt like an old man, seeing the glow and happiness in Cas's face, brought him back to earth. "Yeah, babe. I'm fine. Just a bit worn out."
Cas nodded in understanding, "We should have waited until you were well enough."
"Trust me- I'm plenty well," he teased then with sincerity said, "we've waited long enough all ready, Cas."
He rubbed his cheek into his palm, "I agree. But…"
"No regrets," Dean said firmly.
Cas stilled, then whispered with his rough voice, "I love you, Dean…"
Dean felt his heart skip a beat in utter joy. He saw the truth in those dazzling baby blues. He smiled lazily and kissed his forehead, "I love you too, angel."
**Here's a sneak peek at my continuation of the Sam & Balthazar story that was hinted at in "Edge of Oblivion". It will be listed under the Sam/Balthazar category and titled "Delirious with Desire". I'm paying homage to a great character that the Supernatural writer's axed off at the end of the season finale. I fell in love with the quick-witted, cocky angel Balthazar & dedicated my next slash story to him! I hope you enjoyed my Destial story- plz review & comment! Thanks as always!**
Delirious with Desire
A frown creased Sam's forehead as he glared down at the useless laptop. Nothing news worthy- no supernatural occurrences or murders, he thought bitterly. There had been no new information on Purgatory, not from casework, books or Cas and his Heavenly influences. Nothing that could lead Sam to believe that somewhere, in that black abyss of monsters and death, was an angel.
He sighed, rubbing a tired hand over his face. It had been a week and he hadn't gotten any further on finding Balthazar. What if he really was dead? Then all this work and time, was a waste. Except Sam knew that wasn't true. He felt it in his heart that his friend was still alive. He also knew that Balthazar was a helluva lot stronger than any black pit could kill or destroy. He just hoped that when he finally did find the angel, he would be alive. And not a mangled shell of a vessel.
Dean asked about his need to find Balthazar. But Sam really couldn't explain it. He had asked himself countless times over the past week about his obsession on finding Balthazar. And to be honest, he wasn't sure. Only that he liked that egotistical angel and seeing him being taken by the black smoke, made him realize that it mattered to Sam what happened to him.
So without wasting another minute, Sam got to work. Doing what he did best, besides hunting, researching.
Suddenly his cell phone rang on the table. Sam glanced down at the number, it was unlisted. He answered it, "Hello?"
"Mr. Winchester?" asked a firm male voice over the phone.
"Yeah," he replied cautiously, alarmed that this mysterious caller knew his real name. The only people who knew that were his family, or fellow hunters- oh and the occasional demon.
"I'm calling from Mercy General in Quebec…"
Sam's frown deepened, "Quebec, Canada?"
"Yes," the male voice said. "I'm Dr. Richard Fick. I'm calling in regards to a patient here who claims you're family."
Family? What the hell, Sam thought confused. His only family was right here in this house. He didn't know anyone from Canada.
"He has no passport, ID, wallet… the police found him down by Saint Lawrence." The doctor explained, "He's suffered a pretty bad head injury and has been banged up quite a bit. He was also is slightly delusional. However he did say he had family in the states and that you, Sam Winchester, would come for him."
"What's his name?"
The doctor sighed heavily over the phone then finally answered, "He says his name is Balthazar."