I came up with the idea for this when I went to read a Nico fic and basically all of them were a Nico/OC fic, which I usually don't have a problem with. But when the OC is a major Sue then yes I do have a problem with it! So I wrote this :3
Disclaimer: Because Rick Riordan totally writes fanfiction about his own books.
Nico di Angelo's stomach rumbled: he hadn't eaten since this morning, and it was late afternoon. Demeter had offered him some cereal earlier, but he had refused simply because he liked seeing her shocked reaction. Although he knew it has bad to get on the bad side of a God, he did it regardless because the horror on her face when he refused her trademark food was priceless! Seriously, you could have told her that you'd just killed seventy-four puppies and baked them into a puppy pie for the reaction she gave you.
There was a lack of food in the Underwood seeing as most of the residents were dead and therefore did not require food. However, Nico wasn't dead and needed some food.
And he had a craving for McDonalds…
After Shadow-travelling up to the streets of New York, he noticed that the streets were very busy. Nico sighed. Their life is so easy, he thought to himself, they have no idea of the real danger that lies right under their noses.
Not so long ago he thought he was just an ordinary child. Well as ordinary as you can get when you couldn't remember your own parents and you were living in a hotel for part of your life. The reality was much more sinister: he was a child of Hades, Lord of the Underworld, and instead of spending a few months in a hotel but seventy years. And then his sister had gone on a quest that ended her life.
Nico brushed a strand of dark hair out of his eyes and walked towards the McDonalds placed at the end of the road. As he walked he wondered how he must seem to passers-by. A twelve year old boy wearing an aviator jacket, black jeans with a messy mop of long black hair complete with a sullen expression may have raised a few eyebrows, but it was nothing compared to the looks he'd have gotten if he were out with his usual friends, the skeletons.
The McDonalds seemed busier than usual; the queues almost stretched outside the door of the fast food restaurant. Pushing the door open, Nico took a look around. It was full of girls. But no ordinary girls. These girls had unnaturally coloured hair and eyes, most of them seemed either emo or gothic or insanely popular with twelve friends hanging off their arm. Each was incredibly beautiful and even the staff couldn't take their eyes off them.
"Oh. My. God!" screeched one of the girls, pointing at him.
"Huh?" Nico said, unsure of what was going on.
"It's...It's…It's NICO DI ANGELO!" yelled a girl with purple eyes and red streaked hair. The deafening fangirl squeals that followed were loud enough to wake the dead. And he should know: he did that on a regular basis.
"Wha-" Nico's question was cut off by three dozen teenage girls running towards him, each holding a piece of paper that he was to autograph, or a banner saying "I love you Nico!"
He could barely hear himself think for all the screaming and shouting going on.
"Nico sign my t-shirt!"
"Nico, will you be my boyfriend?"
"Nico we love you!"
"Nico, will you go out with me?"
Those were just some of the questions raised by the crowd.
"Hey, hey, hey!" Nico protested. "Could you give me some space?" The girls backed off almost immediately, as if they would do exactly what he asked just to please him.
"Who are you all and what do you want with me?" Nico blurted. "And one at a time please. You?" he pointed to a girl with striking sea-green eyes and black hair with a blue-green tinge to it.
"Me?" The girl asked, half shocked, half honoured.
"Yeah you. What's your name?"
"I'm Oceania Tydis Ariella Shimmerdust Wave," replied the girl smugly. Her extremely long and unrealistic name blew Nico away.
"That's your name? Seriously?" Nico gasped. "Now what are you all doing here?"
"We're here to see you of course!" Giggled a girl with vivid blonde hair. "I'm Fuschialyn Adora Gemaline Pearlyglitter."
"To see me?"
"Well duh! You're like the hottest guy in Percy Jackson!" Nico smiled at the reply. "So hot that just about every OC wants to date you!"
Nico bit his lip, "so in just about every fanfic I'm paired up with some Mary-Sue OC?"
"Pretty much! I'm a child of Aphrodite, and Oceania is a child of Poseidon. Lyzabelle Genevieve Arabella Warpston is a child of Kronos, Glimmer Shimmer Twinkletoes is a child of Zeus, Ebony Ravenclaw Shadowie D'arkness a child of Hades, Luna Selene Eclipse Nightshade is a child of Artemis…"
"Wait, Kronos? Zeus? Hades? ARTEMIS? What the FUDGE? Kronos is DEAD! Lyzabelle looks only thirteen and Kronos was in Tartarus thirteen years ago! Zeus already broke his oath once, and look how that turned out so why would he break it again to have Glimmer? Hades never broke his oath so how could he have had Ebony? And what the fudge, why does Artemis have a kid? She's a VIRGIN Goddess!" Nico ranted.
"So you don't want to date me?" sobbed Fuschialyn.
"No! I mean, I'm only twelve. When girls are twelve, yeah they become interested in boys. But boys? They're still pretty clueless." Nico explained.
"But…but everyone loves me!"
"Well duh, you're a Mary Sue. Mary Sue's are supposed to be loved by everyone despite having the personality of a brick wall. And excuse me while I get my happy meal." Nico stormed to the front of the queue (seeing as all the girls had left it to crowd around him) and grumpily ordered a happy meal, which was ironic seeing as he wasn't in a happy mood.
"Fries or a fruit bag?" asked the woman at the till. She was beautiful, but not like the other girls there. Her dark eyes seemed welcoming, and her lack hair framed her face. She reminded him of Bianca, except she seemed more sure of herself. He looked down to stop a tear trailing down his face remembering her. He looked back up, and he could swear that her appearance was changing, her eyes were lighter, her hair longer. He put it down to the tears welling up in his eyes distorting his vision.
"Fries," mumbled Nico, not looking up at her again.
Nico tapped his fingers on the bench as he waited for his order. Several girls came over and tapped him on the shoulder, but he sent them all away. Seriously, why him of all people? He was only a twelve year old boy; he wasn't even interested in girls yet. He'd only just started getting used to the fact that he was a demigod, an incredibly powerful demigod; a girlfriend was the last thing he needed right now, especially seeing as his dad was the God of the Underworld and spent a lot of his time there. Surely most girls would see that as creepy?
The woman behind the counter handed him his order and sure enough, all the girls came rushing over to see what he had bought.
"Geez, all I bought was a happy meal!" Nico grunted.
"OHMYGOSH, can I like, eat with you?" Squealed Glimmer Shimmer Twinkletoes in a mesmerizing, song-like voice. Her honey blonde hair streaked with bits of gold hung over her shoulders and she was wearing so much glitter in her makeup and clothes it was easy to see how she got her name. He imagined her standing in the Underworld, how out of place she would look amongst the dreary washed-out dead. He liked spending time there, it was calm (aside from the screams of torment coming from the Fields of Punishment) and gave him a chance to think, but it wasn't known for being a happy place.
"No, Glimmer, no you cannot," Nico sighed. Who knew popularity was such a hassle? When he attended school he'd never been the most popular kid around, he usually just stayed with Bianca, and the same went for when he was at Camp Half-Blood so he'd never had any experience with it. When he first arrived at Camp, people didn't take any interest in him. After all unclaimed children weren't a rarity, and now most people didn't like hanging around with him. He couldn't blame them though, really. If he were in their position he wouldn't want to hang around with someone who reeked of death and spent their spare time talking to zombies either.
"Why? Everyone loves me! I'm a daughter of Zeus! What's not to like?"
"Well," Nico said, not really into it, "you won't leave me alone, you stalk me, you don't seem very realistic, and frankly, all that glitter you're wearing is making me wonder if I accidently Shadow-travelled to Noel Fielding's costume closet."
Glimmer looked like she was on the verge of crying and Nico's lack of experience with girls made him instinctively move tables. Unfortunately, as soon as he sat down the girl who called herself Luna Selene Eclipse Nightshade took the opportunity to sit down next to him.
"Oh gods! Can I just eat my lunch in peace, please? All I wanted was a happy meal but instead I get a horde of rabid fangirls! Will you please just GO AWAY!" Nico shouted. He sounded like his ten year old self, annoyed with Percy for letting Bianca die. He knew now that it wasn't his fault, but that didn't take away any of the grief. "I don't know what it is about me that you find so interesting, but really, I'm not that cool. I wake the dead, I hang around in the Underworld, my stepmother turns me into dandelions on a weekly basis, I suck at sports and my dad runs the worst holiday resort in the United States."
"BUT YOU'RE SO TORTURED AND SAD AND SEXY!" Protested just about everyone in the room.
"You know what? I've had enough, I'm going back home to eat this," Nico groaned, throwing his hands up in exasperation.
If only it were that easy.
For as soon as he revealed his plan, the crowds of Nico-fans raced towards the exit, blocking every door in the building.
Nico panicked; everywhere he looked he could see girls. It was enough to give the Aphrodite girls a run for their money, a room full of unnaturally beautiful girls.
It was not until he was thrust onto the floor by a girl with black hair streaked with purple and silver and kaleidoscope eyes that he realised the truth.
Nico di Angelo was trapped in McDonalds.
And there would be no escape as long as Aphrodite stood at the counter giggling at him.