Again, too long of a wait, but I had a lack of inspiration.
Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson, dude!
If it were possible, Nico wanted to shadow-travel to wherever Aphrodite lived, burn it down and smother everything she owned in dark, destroying shadows and then set a whole army of hellhounds on her before crushing her underneath a crippling heavy shadow of death. But of course, that wasn't possible, as Nico couldn't even get close to her without going weak at the knees.
So, unless Nico could think of an alternative solution, he had to go speed-dating with the most ineligible bachelorettes the world had to offer. So far, the girls he'd met were highly unrealistic and all had some kind of undying yet unrequited love for him, to which he did not understand. Why did they all go for him and not Percy? Percy was better looking, the son of a more popular God (most people found Hades creepy, not that he blamed them), and had accomplished more than he had. He saved the world for crying out loud! Did that not equal squealing fans? What had Nico done besides raise a whole undead army to help them? Most of the things he'd done in the past were regrettable, as he'd held a malicious grudge towards the son of Poseidon, which definitely would bring down likeability points. Why would anybody like somebody whose fatal flaw was deadly grudges? Moreover, wouldn't most people see Nico's 'tragic' back-story as too much baggage?
So far, Nico couldn't think of anything else to do. Normally he would have just shadow-travelled away or raised a skeleton army, but seeing as there were no graveyards inside the fast food restaurant, and Aphrodite seemed to have found a way of stopping him from leaving, he was left with no choice but to go through with Aphrodite's plan. He sighed sadly, but decided that he better get on with it, and he would rather get it out of the way.
A kind thought struck him just then. Just because he agreed to date a girl didn't mean he had to actually like her. He could just find the first girl he saw, agree to a date, and then not see her afterwards. Or even better, not go on the date at all. He shouldn't have to date any of those girls if he didn't want to. What if he was gay? He wasn't, and he knew that, but people just can't assume things like that these days. He was sure that his father would stick up for him if Aphrodite found out that he didn't even go on the date.
Now that he had formulated a plan, he felt a bit more confident and at ease. He casually strolled over to a table of four girls, who seemed to be entranced by a blurred picture of him taken outside an entrance to a graveyard somewhere. He was about to yell at them for possessing such a picture, but stopped himself. He needed to be calm about all of this.
"Excuse me, but would one of you join me on that table over there?" He said with a wink, trying to sound as flirty as possible. He was sure that he sounded completely stupid, but he wasn't really that bothered at this moment in time. Three of the girls squealed excitedly, like he thought they would, but one girl remained calm. Nico liked her.
"What's your name?" Nico asked her politely. She looked up at him and smiled.
"Mystixia Rosanna Cherrytree," she replied. Unlike the other girls, her hair was auburn and cut into a choppy bob with layers, not flowing and an unnatural colour like purple or pink. Her eyes, however, were a different story and were a vivid red the colour of rubies. A pale heart-shaped face unblemished by freckles or spots made her seem like a china doll, and her cherry red lips with matching cheeks only added to this impression. Her messy, effort-free hair contrasted with her high-maintenance and perfect face. A thick black choker wrapped itself around her neck, and adorning her earlobes were silver star ear rings. She was wearing a short black dress with spaghetti straps, but was wearing a bright red shawl. On paper, it didn't work but she looked breathtakingly beautiful.
"Nice to meet you, would you like to share a happy meal with me?" Nico didn't have a happy meal on him, but he knew that Aphrodite would be watching him and would be more than happy to conjure up some food. Mystixia nodded, and smiled as they walked to an untaken table on the other side of the room. Other girls looked on in jealousy, but Nico couldn't care less.
Sure enough, when they sat down a whole tray filled with food manifested itself before them, filled with fries, shakes, McFlurries, chicken nuggets, different dips and burgers. It wasn't the most romantic of banquets, but it could have been salad for all Nico cared.
"Who's your godly parent, then?" Nico asked, in an attempt to break the ice. It was the only question he could think of.
"Hecate, goddess of magic." Nico had already suspected that that was the case, her name gave it away. After that, Nico was unsure of what to say. Was he supposed to ask about her life? He hadn't seen her at Camp before, though as he rarely turned up this was not much of a surprise. He supposed he should do the polite thing and ask about her.
"You seem different to the others," Nico said. He was sure he sounded lame again, but he couldn't think of anything else to say.
"What do you mean?" Mystixia questioned, looking confused.
"Well, the others seem so, so, Mary-Sueish, and so far, besides your appearance you don't. You aren't a daughter of a Big Three god, or a Titan, and you don't seem to be either an emo or insanely popular. I think you're the only one in the room not gushing over me either, and you aren't in a huge group of friends," Nico explained. Could it be possible that this girl was an average demigod? If she was, Nico would have cried with happiness. Maybe then he could enjoy a date, not that he wanted to.
"You really think that?" Nico could swear she sounded hurt. "Well, not every Mary Sue starts out as a Sue you know, and anyway I bet they don't have a horribly tragic back-story do they?" she snapped angrily. Nico was confused by her sudden change in tone, but gestured for her to continue, as it appeared that she was about to tell him of her 'horribly tragic' tale.
"My father was just an ordinary man, and upon discovering that I was half-god, he abandoned me on the account that I would just bring too much trouble and he would be unable to look after me. Plus, he wouldn't want to deal with monsters and things, so he just dumped me at the nearest orphanage where nobody would want to adopt me because I was too beautiful."
"Why would people not adopt you because you were too beautiful?" Nico asked quizzically.
"Because I would just make their other children jealous I guess," she shrugged. "Anyway, then when finally somebody adopted me they were really abusive and kept hitting me and calling me an ugly wretch who nobody loves, so I finally ran away. I survived on my own, but when I reached half-blood hill without a satyr, I found myself up againt an entire army of monsters, including some horrible ones like Medusa, the Minotaur and the Manticore. Not forgetting Kampe and the Sphinx too. I defeated them all single-handedly, but never made it to Camp Half-Blood. Instead, I just went somewhere else."
Nico was about to ask where she went, but found himself dumbstruck by her unlikely and probably untrue anecdote about her life. Surely she couldn't have fought a whole army on her one? Furthermore, why would Hades let the worst monsters out of Tartarus just for one demigod, one who wasn't even born to Zeus or Poseidon? Not only that, but he found it highly unlikely that she could live on her own on the streets without being attacked, or find Camp without a satyr. It was a shame because Nico was actually starting to like her.
"No offense, but I don't believe that for one second," Nico said, taking a bite out of a burger.
"Believe it or disbelieve it, it's still my life. It's strange, most people feel really sorry for me and want to be my friend to try and cover up the hole in my heart."
Nico was beginning to feel really bored, so he just asked the question that he had thought of earlier.
"How come I've never seen you at Camp before?" Nico enquired, dipping a chicken nugget into tomato ketchup.
"Oh, that's because I go to a different Camp to you. I go to Camp Mary-Sue," Mystixia said indifferently, like it wasn't much for concern.
Nico nearly choked on his chicken.
Yeah, bad chapter, I know.
This story started off as a light-hearted one-shot, but now has turned into something slightly more serious, and now has an actual PLOT! Yes, a plot, and it involves something more than just Nico fending off some Mary-Sues! There will still be some humour, but it won't be solely humour-based. So if you aren't enjoying it, feel free to just pretend it ended at chapter one. But if you do want to carry on with this new angle, awesome!