A/N: It's been too long since my last Comashipping fic and it is still my number one pairing after all. :D This was going to be a lot shorter, since I'm not too over confident with my English writing skills (If anyone wants be my beta, feel free to note me!) but somehow I just added more and more text... Sorry for the "slightly" OOC -characters and all the typing/grammar mistakes. I'll be correcting them over the next few days, since I always fail to notice all of them a once. ^^
I HOPE TOMORROW NEVER COMES
When it finally hits him, it hits him hard.
He's so used to it nowadays, seeing him regularly, snapping at him, being a jerk to him, telling him how weak and annoying he and his friends are. He used to hate him a long time ago, well at least that's what he always told himself. But today he's grown a little as a person and accepts him and his goofy nature. He is just so opposite of him, he's like this bright sun, while he is the cold moon. And maybe that was why he finally found him so interesting.
He's aware of it nowadays; these stupid feelings. They weren't always there. There was a time, when all he cared about was battling, winning and getting stronger. He isn't quite sure when did he change, but he is sure it was because of something he did. He remembers how he actually began to wait the next time he would see him again and how by just looking into his chocolate colored eyes got something to stuck in his throat. And Paul hadn't really liked that feeling. He had always considered himself as a person who was fine with on his own and didn't really depend on other people and yet, there he was, planning his traveling route to match his. It was so pathetic he couldn't really stand himself.
But still, these feelings make him happy and it's not like he can easily remember the last time he was happy. Paul wants to hang on to this feeling, no matter how much it is embarrassing him every damn time he thinks about it. And besides, it is safe to feel this way anyway. The other boy would never know, Paul would never tell anyone, not his Pokémon, not his brother, not anyone. And he is so good at hiding it from anyone, so the secret can easily go to the grave with him. Paul doesn't long for a relationship with other boy, he doesn't want to have a happy-ever-after with him, he is just fine as long as he can see his dark hair every now and then. It is enough to make him satisfied.
Or at least it had been enough.
Because he's leaving now.
Paul didn't know what to do. Sinnoh League was over, neither of them had won and he had actually lost to him on the eliminate round. Embarrassing if you liked to think of it that way. But it really didn't matter, not anymore. Paul got bigger problems.
Ash was leaving.
They had accidentally met in this Pokémon Center and younger boy had told him the news looking as happy as ever. And that was the first time Paul had felt weak and fragile for a brief moment. He had known it, Ash wouldn't stay in Sinnoh forever, nobody did. But he had forbidden himself from thinking of that. There would be a next day when he could see him again, there was always a next day. But now it seemed Paul's days with Ash would be over soon. And there wasn't anything he could do about it.
Expect there was.
He could tell him. Paul could tell Ash how much he wanted him, how he wanted to thank him for changing him a bit, how much he loved that wide smile, and how he didn't want to lose him... Yeah, like he could ever do that. Paul might have changed a little but there was no reason to let other people actually know about it.
Besides, sometimes he felt that the smile wasn't enough anymore, that he really wanted more, needed more. There were times, when Paul just wanted to kiss Ash so hard, to feel his young fourteen-year old body being pressed against his, to fuck him senseless and make him to come over and over again moaning his name. So he absolutely couldn't say anything. And maybe it was for the best, the other boy was still so young, so naïve that sometimes these desires made Paul feel like a pedo.
Tomorrow would be last day he's ever going to see him. Ash and his dark skinned friend would take a boat back to the Kanto. That's where Paul would head too, but not just yet, he first needed to go see Reggie. His brother had insisted he wanted to see Paul before he was leaving to the another region. And Paul strongly doubted Ash would still be in Kanto when he finally shows up there.
Lost deep in his thoughts Paul fails to notice a familiar looking figure appearing next to him leaning to a wall next to Paul and just simply staring at the purple haired boy for a moment.
"What are you doing here so late?" A question surprises Paul making him turn around and facing the person who had come from nowhere.
"I...", Paul starts but fails to end his sentence as his eyes trails on Ash's body. Younger boy is wearing way too childish PJ covered with pictures of Pikachu. And it looks too small too causing Paul almost to lick his lips. Calm down, he commands himself.
"I just wasn't feeling very sleepy", Paul finally answers and forces himself to look away from other boy. They stand in a silence for a bit before Ash opens his mouth again. "I see. I guess that makes me the same then."
"Yeah..." Paul murmurs in a quiet voice. He is teasing him so much, showing up so late in night, being next to him alone without his annoying friends or Pikachu. Knowing that this is the last time they will see each other and still looking so calm. Sometimes Paul wonders if Ash really is that kind at all, or is it all just pretending, some sick game. Because right now the other boy is so cruel and Paul hates him a little for it.
"So what are you going to do next?" Ash asks and maybe it's just Paul but it looks like he's closer now.
"I'll challenge the Battle Frontier in Kanto", is a short reply and it takes all Paul's will power not to let his heart beat any faster than what it's already beating.
"So you are going into an opposite direction than me", Ash says and he sounds almost like... he's sad?
"It seems so", Paul replies and can't hide the little sad smile on his lips. And of course Ash has to notice that no matter how dark the room tries to be. "You know", he says just after Paul has managed to take his normal cold look on his face. "I think you have changed. The old Paul didn't have that kind of emotion that you just had on your face", Ash smiles like he's proud of his son or something.
"Oh, shut up", Paul snaps but can't really do anything about his reddening cheeks. He should just go to bed and forget all about Ash and his stupid comments. He's just about to leave when he says those words stepping closer to older boy.
"I'm going to miss you."
And how is Paul supposed to stay strong in this situation? Ash is only inches away saying he'll be missing him, his eyes looking sad and serious at the same time. Paul feels himself falling for him just a little more and now is not the best time for doing that, since they won't be seeing each others anymore. Ash looks like he's about to say something more and Paul needs to stop him.
With a quick movement he covers Ash's mouth with his hand surprising the black haired boy. "Just stop it already!" He hisses before letting go of Ash. Younger boy doesn't get it as he tries to grab Paul's arm. "Stop what?"
His touch feels like a fire forcing Paul to move away from the other boy. "Don't touch me!" He yells not wanting to sounds as angry as he does now. But the thing is, Paul doesn't want Ash to miss him. It's just too pathetic, he have never been too friendly towards the other boy. There's no reason for him to miss Paul. And getting your hopes up at this point is the last thing Paul really needs. Why can't Ash just hate him or at least leave him alone? Why can't he drop the stupid I-care-for-all-of-my-friends -attitude just for a once? Besides, they aren't even friends. They are just rivals, (soon ex-rivals) who have talked with each others every now and then. Not friends who could just miss each others so openly.
Paul looks at Ash (one last time he tells himself) and the boy is staring right back at him. He doesn't look defeated or sad by Paul's harsh words. He doesn't look like Ash at all at the moment and it really confuses Paul. For a good two minutes (because Paul just can't get his feet moving away from the other boy) the stare each others before Paul finally gets a hold of himself and turns away.
It's over now.
"I'm leaving. Good night." He says quietly but with determination. Not too shabby last words, Paul thinks and is secretly pleased with himself. For a moment he thinks he can get away with that, but of course it's not the case when dealing with Ash.
"No!" Ash yells and hugs Paul tightly from behind. Part of Paul just want to punch him and run away but the other part freezes him there, in Ash's embrace.
"Let go of me", Paul demands even if he doesn't really mean that. But there's no need for Ash to know it. "No", Ash disagrees and squeezes Paul's body harder. "Why can't you say you'll miss me too?"
Paul rolls his eyes. "What if I just won't miss you. You're pretty weak after all." Maybe if he doesn't move Ash forgets that he is holding him and doesn't remember to let go. Immediately after thinking of this Paul feels so stupid and embarrassed that it makes wonder if he can ever look at himself on the mirror anymore.
"Paul, please", Ash suddenly replies with a weird husky tone that doesn't fit his childish nature at all, "I'm not that stupid, you know."
"What?" Paul ask confused and suddenly it feels like it would a be very good idea just hit Ash and run away now. But again, he's late because the hot breath is already there, against his neck and those soft words echo around his ears.
"I've seen the way you look at me."
He can't know, there's no way! Paul has been so careful. He has insulted him, he has been cold, he's been his usual jerk-self. Besides, Ash was Ash, naive, stupid, young, goofy, he couldn't know these things or use that kind of husky tone or...lower his hands to Paul's waist!
"You think you can hide it, but you can't", younger boy continues and suddenly everything feels so fuzzy and Paul isn't sure anymore if that wet tongue is for real or just his imagination. "You think I'm too dense to actually notice anything, but I do notice, Paul, I do. You think I'm just a little kid thinking about his Pokémon and friends, right? Stupid little boy in his Pikachu PJ? Well you can think again, because I too have my desires and needs. Just like you have", Ash is whispering into his ear and every part of Paul's body feels so hot and heavy. This has to be some kind of sick dream, it wouldn't be the first time. Because, Ash dirty-talking to him, really? The very same boy who had been so excited over a stupid Pikachu looking rock on earlier of the day. There was no way. Paul was sure he was hallucinating this all.
He is so confused that doesn't even notice Ash turning him over and slamming against the wall. Only when he feels those soft hands on his hair he snaps back to reality. "What are you doing", dies on his lips when takes a good look at Ash's eyes. They are so dark, so different from the that normal sweet warm chocolate color.
"I can make you miss me, you know", Ash smirks and Paul doesn't really know where to look as their noses are almost touching. But he can't lose this game to Ash. "I'd love to see you trying", he answers to him. Ash just smiles evilly and now Paul is sure all the innocent Pokémon loving kid -stuff has only been bullshit so far.
"But really, Paul", Ash continues teasing him, "falling for a kid like me? You know I haven't even hit the fifteenth year yet. And how old are you, sixteen?" He holds Paul from his waist and his grip is so strong Paul can't really move, or more like doesn't want to. "How I'm supposed to know how much you've been thinking dirty thoughts about my slender body anyway? I bet you've fantasied about touching me everywhere and maybe you are even fantasizing right now about taking me right here, against this cold wall and..."
But Paul doesn't let Ash finish because he has hit his limit and Ash can't only blame himself. He slams his lips against Ash's just to shut him up before all this dirty-talking does it's job properly. He wants to be violent, he needs to be like that, Ash has deserved it. Paul bites causing Ash to bite back. It's more like a battle than a kiss. No time to breath, hands hovering all over bodies, it's hot and sweaty. It's so intense that it makes Paul to forget that he's there, kissing Ash, really kissing him in a narrow hallway in the middle of the night. At some point Ash's tongue invites itself in Paul's mouth and those slender hands find his sweater's zipper and then it finally hits Paul.
What the hell I'm doing?
He pulls away quickly in disbelief. Ash is now against the wall, panting and trying to catch his breath. There's saliva on the corner of his mouth and Paul believes it's his. "What are you doing?" He asks wiping his own mouth at the same time. Ash is smiling his innocent smile again but that isn't fooling Paul anymore. "What do you mean? You were the one who kissed me."
"You were fucking trying to seduce me before that!" Paul rubs his temple and trying to figure out what to do next.
Ash rolls his eyes but Paul fails to notice that. "Well it's not like you were needing much of seducing anyway."
The whole situation is so embarrassing that Paul just wants to die. So okay, apparently he's been pretty transparent and Ash have been noticing everything and that kid... No, kid isn't the right word anymore, not after what just happened. That... trainer (so he's a little loss of words, which is understandable in this situation) had just started seducing him like there's no tomorrow (well technically they didn't have tomorrow, so yeah). And this just happens to be one of those times, when Paul really just wants to take Ash from behind. That isn't any wonder considering his previous little talk. So Paul can't really be blamed for his red cheeks and that blush across his face.
"...But why now? Why are you coming onto me now? You'll leave tomorrow, I'll leave tomorrow!" Paul tries to change the subject from the previous if he really needed the seduction or not.
Ash just shrugs his shoulders. "I guess I just wanted to hear you saying you'd miss me too." Paul can't believe his ears. So, it hadn't meant anything. Oh god, he was an idiot.
But the floor doesn't want to swallow him, no matter how much he hopes for it. Paul can only stand there right in front of Ash and feeling extremely awkward. Maybe he should just punch him and burn this whole Poké Center down and all the evidence with it. But it's not like Ash is letting him to do that.
"And... I think I'd have regretted it greatly if I had just stayed silent", Ash adds quietly scratching the back of his neck. Thank god he's looking a bit awkward too.
"Regret?" Paul just has to ask knowing very well things can get even more embarrassing but he can't stop himself. Ash is getting closer again, and Paul knows he should have shut up his mouth a long time ago.
"You're not the only one with wanting eyes, you know", and then he can feel those perfect lips on his again. The kiss is less aggressive than the last one and Paul almost likes it this way. His hand behind Ash's neck pulling him even closer if possible. Ash's hands resting on his cheeks. So yeah, he's acting all "Mr. Nice Guy" at the moment, but nobody else is seeing it so he guesses it's okay for a change. And Reggie always wanted him to act a little warmer towards his rivals and if this isn't warm Paul doesn't know what is. There's always a tomorrow when he can act as asshole as he ever wants, but if being this nice is making Ash to kneel in front of him like this maybe he'll continue it just a little longer.
But if the goodbye gift is making him moan and gasp like this, maybe, just maybe Paul can deal with it.