A/N: Last chapter! I can't believe it's over, I've been writing this story for so long! Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it, 'cause I certainly enjoyed writing it! Buyeeeee!
Here Comes Goodbye
It happens to everyone.
But is there any possible way that you can be dead, but still alive?
Because that's how I feel right now.
My brain is function, my heart is beating, my body is moving.
But I am dead.
And so is Rocket.
And so is everything I've ever held dear to me.
I died the minute that knife slid into Rocket's ribs and pierced her heart.
I died when I watched the life fade from her eyes.
I don't understand how I'm still here.
I feel nothing.
My eyes see, but they don't take in what's in front of them.
Everything is blurry. And nothing makes sense.
I shouldn't have said yes.
When Babydoll came to us with that crazy idea about leaving, I should have said no. That it was too dangerous, because it was.
But the idea of leaving this place and no longer having to be around him was too tempting.
I couldn't NOT go.
Rocket looked at me with those big blue eyes, filled with sadness and it was over.
I couldn't not agree.
And here we were.
Rocket was dead, I was locked in a closet, Babydoll, Amber and Blondie were being forced to go on stage and dance like nothing had happened...
And Babydoll was going to be taken by the High Roller and forced to have sex, just like Amber, Blondie and Rocket were when I first got here.
I was like a walking magnet of death and torture.
I was probably moments away from death myself, but I didn't care.
There was no doubt in my mind that Blue would murder me after what had happened.
You would think I would feel betrayed, heartbroken after realising this.
But I was already broken beyond repair.
I had lost Blue. Now I had lost Rocket.
I hear keys jangle and I know it's him. He's come for me. I close my eyes.
The door opens and it isn't Blue.
I catch two blonde pigtails in my peripherary and I stare at her.
She's crying her eyes out, and I'm wondering how the hell she got away.
"Sweet Pea..." She whispers. She bends down and I notice something is wrong.
There's two people missing.
"Where's Amber and Blondie?" I ask her.
She just grimaces and fresh tears leak down her face.
"It's just us now, Sweet Pea. We have to go!"
More pain. More heartbreak.
Now I had lost them as well.
My two best friends.
I don't want to get up. I don't want to escape. I just want to die right here.
She grips my hand and I feel her warm skin.
I have one more sister in here.
And I'm not going to let her down.
I get up, mustering as much strength as I can and she hands me the items. I'm shaking so bad, I can barely grip them.
She holds the molotov cocktail she's made from scratch and I light it.
I have to get her out of here.
She's the last one. My last person.
I can't let her down. She throws it and the whole cupboard catches fire.
"Come on!" She grips my hand and reels me away, but I step in front of her. If someone catches us, they'd go for me first.
Then she can run as far as she can and hide until everything dies down.
She's using that gold key to open every single door and I'm wondering how she got it in the first place.
It's around Blue's neck 24/7.
And for reasons I cannot fathom, I feel an ounce of concern for him.
But it fades quickly when I remember how he reacted to Rocket's death.
"Oh my...what did you do? What did you do, you simple inbred...get her up! get her up CJ! Yes, look! Look at what you did! Look at what you did to her! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID, YOU BITCH!"
He didn't even care.
How- How can someone change...
I just don't understand.
She's waiting for the fire escape door to open, and I thank every god in the world when it does.
I need to tell her my address.
I need to tell her to give Rocket's message to our mother.
I need to.
Then I can die in peace. Babydoll can escape, and Blue can just do whatever he wants.
It always goes back to him.
We're at the front entrance and I'm looking at the exit.
It's so, so, so tempting to escape here with her.
Sweet Pea, if you don't go with her, Rocket won't be happy. Is that what you want?
And he's there. The Wise Man. And he's looking at me with sad eyes because he, too, has lost three important people today.
"But...I don't know how to live without her." And it's true, because I don't. But he just shakes his head.
"Do it for her."
And just like that, we're back at the front entrance and Babydoll looks on the verge of tears because she realises our plan has failed.
There are guards everywhere.
I want to give up.
"Do it for her."
"This can't be! We did everything right!"
Babydoll starts murmuring to herself and I'm watching her without really paying attention.
Because I'm thinking about the guy inside this brothel and what might be wrong with him.
And I hate myself for it.
"Oh, it's me."
That catches my attention.
"Oh, it's me of course it's me! It's the only way this ever could've ended!"
"What do you mean?"
She watches me, a smile on her lips.
"I'm saying you go home. Go home to your family. You tell your mom what Rocket said. Make her happy. You go out and live a normal life. Love, be free. You have to live for all of us now."
It's all meshing together.
And I'm crying at the prospect of seeing my mother again. Of telling her what's happened. Of everything that has occured.
Of falling love all over again...though I don't think I could ever possibly do that...
And it's those last words that snap me back.
NO! I need to get Babydoll out! Not the other way around!
"Baby NO! You can't do this!"
"Yes, Sweet Pea! You're the strongest! You're the only one of us who had a chance out there! You, going out and living, that's how we win!"
I'm about to protest, but the look in her eyes...
It's the look I had when I first came here.
"We don't have a choice."
And we didn't. I walked right back into the brothel because we had nowhere to go.
It was the biggest mistake of my life.
It's okay, it's okay, it's better this way! Now listen, I'm gonna go out there, and when they come after me you go!"
She's handing me the items, and I know this is wrong.
But it feels so right.
"There's gotta be another way!"
I'm saying this to myself more than to her.
"No, this is right. this was never my story. It's yours."
And maybe it is my story. Because right now, i'm in a fairytale. A fairytale with no happy ending.
"Now don't screw it up, okay!"
She's walking away and all I want to do is call her back. I go to follow her, but she glares at me, and nods. I sit back down and she sighs in relief.
"You stay off the roads and you find a bus station, okay? You're gonna be fine." She seems to say this last part to herself, and before I can stop her, she's walking up to the guards.
And I'm walking to the front gate.
I unlock the door, but every part of me is screaming to help Babydoll out.
I look back at her and she smiles at me. I look up at the building.
He's in there.
But instead of worry, I find nothing but relief.
Because it's true.
My feelings for Blue are gone.
My feelings for anything altogether are gone.
"Goodbye, Blue." I whisper.
I walk away, but not before I hear a thud, a groan, another thud and the sound of someone falling to the floor.
I should go back.
"There is no turning back. You're life is out there, Sweet Pea. Not here."
And this time, there is no Wise Man.
There is only Rocket, Amber, Blondie, Madam Gorski...
The old Blue.
They're all smiling at me, and it's all the strength I need.
I nod and run down the hill, leaving everything I know behind.