Revised on 09/27/2011.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
A/N: The topics in this story are heavy. There is discussion/mention and flashbacks of suicide and depression. However, that being said, this story is about recovery and love, in both friendship and romantic relationships. It will always remain Bella and Edward.
I hope you enjoy. Thank you.
- Prologue -
I am cold. I should be cold. It's a February night. The sky is clear and black above me. No stars or moon dress the darkness. It's different than just any other night. I know this without even second guessing myself. There is an electricity in the atmosphere. A kissing chill of the wind that slaps around us. It's as if, in this moment, there is only her and I. The world has stopped and the only people who exist are Katey and Izzy. Best friends. Worlds apart.
I shiver, slightly shuttering. It isn't from the cold, it's from a fear I can't seem to place. Something is wrong and it's something I can't fix.
"Hey, Izzy, would you save me?" the question slips from Kate's lips as her foot inches closer to the edge of the cliff.
I can't tell you why. Why I don't run to her, or grab her, or just scream in general. I stand here frozen, with her calm breaths softly exhaling on my face. I smile, it's not my true smile. It's a confused, scared, smile. In a shaky voice, I say, "Of course."
Not: "Katey, what are you talking about?" or "I love you. Stop this."
No. I say two words that mean nothing to her. She knows I can't save her. She knows I'm powerless. And for a brief second, a thought washes over my mind, you're punishing me.
She looks different in this scene. Her yellow hair whips around her face. She's fearless and relaxed. Like she's finally found some calm peace that never existed before now.
I've known Kate all my life, and I can honestly say that I've never seen her like this.
She is ethereal.
She is eternal.
And already gone.
"Liar," she whispers and without even hesitating, falls gracefully from the cliff. She always does everything with grace, I think. I don't even move, all I hear is a splash against the rocks below.
Kate managed two suicides that night, because not only did she end her life, she also ended mine.
I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat
And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine It when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone
- Ellie Goulding - Lights -