It's been a while. I've missed you all. This is just a little something based on the promo for 6x22, Hole in the Heart. Thanks to eitoph, who gave me confidence to post and to nopenname66, Sue, who always encourages me to write :)
Spoilers for the episode, but nothing too explicit.
Disclaimer: I wish! But yeah...I don't own Bones.
'One night to be confused,
One night to speed up truth,
We had our promise made...
We were in love.'
There's a subtle drip, drip, drip of the kitchen tap leaking onto the stainless steel sink. It's only loud enough that she has to strain her ears to hear it, but it's not quiet enough for her to ignore.
She wishes she could attribute the kitchen sink to her sleepless night.
The ceiling yields no answers to the big questions about death and the incomprehensible puzzle which is life itself and yet she feels the need to stare at it. Shutting her eyes will only allow the tears to fall, something she has been trying to hold safe for the day. If she lets her mind wander she can still feel blood pooling around her hands, she can still see the fear in her intern's eyes, she can still feel his heart stop beneath her fingertips and she can still see her partner standing and staring at the wound that should have been his own, blood splattered across his frightened face.
She can't hear anything from the room down the hallway and she's envious that Booth seems to have found rest in this turbulent time. She just can't let go of the day's events yet; they're too fresh, too scathing.
She told him she'd spend the night in Parker's room and after they fought about it, he acquiesced, finally conceding that his back would not handle well being cramped into a single bed designed for a body much smaller than his. She knows he's only a room away, but she still can't sleep knowing his life is in danger.
The sight that greets her when she opens his door makes her heart race. Booth is sitting hunched over on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, muscles tensed. He looks up, a sad smile on his face; perhaps it was that he was caught in the act, perhaps it was that the shooting that day had taken away his ability to smile a happy smile.
"I was just coming to see you."
She crosses the threshold, taking a seat next to him. She still refuses to look down and so as she speaks, she stares directly at the wall, the grey paint offering up no more help than Parker's ceiling.
"I just needed to see you. Rationally, I know that you're physically okay, but I feel this foolish need to just..."
Booth reaches over to take her hand and clings to it tightly, "I know, Bones. I know."
She is content to sit with him in silence, hands bound, fingers intertwined. The feeling of nearness is just enough for them. When the tears finally come, she isn't expecting them and when she turns to Booth, he catches her in a steady embrace, pulling them to his bed, his hands running up and down her back as she lays her head on his chest. She knows she can trust him with her life, but the intimacy of the moment allows her to realise she can share with him her most guarded fear.
"I feel weak, but I know that I am strong. I can't lose you and never know what it was like to have you in the first place."
He knows what it's costing her to say this, but the lump in his throat prevents him from speaking. He reaches a hooked finger under her chin and tilts her head up to meet his gaze.
His lips against hers are soft and warm and alive, so alive. She lets him kiss her, his hands dancing around her face, pulling her closer, tilting her into him. Her fingertips wind their way along his chest, scratching their way through his hair, pushing him further. He rolls her onto her back, leaning over her, watching her hair fan out on his pillows and falling in love with her all over again at the sight. He knows at that moment exactly what she means. They can't live in the unknown anymore. He brushes a stray strand of hair from her cheek and leans into her once more, kissing her lips gently. Knowing that it's enough for tonight she pulls him back down beside her, resting her head on his chest again.
The questions may not come tomorrow, or next week. The questions may not come for months, but he knows that when they do he'll be ready. He's not angry anymore.
As they finally drift into sleep, comforted by the warmth that surrounds them, she strains to hear the dripping tap in the kitchen. She breathes a final sigh of relief and closes her eyes without a tear when she can't hear it over the sound of Booth's beating heart.
Drop me a line. Let me know I'm not the only one who's beyond excited for this episode!