Author's Note: JALS is on hold for a couple weeks, guys. I think Axel and Roxas got pissed that I was paying attention to other people. XD Anyway, in an effort to keep bringin ya some Sunday reading material, expect to see a few chapters of this. ;D Just a few, mind you. This will be a shortfic.

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day! Go tell your mom you love her and give her a hug. She deserves it. :) And after that, have some AkuRoku...and a hug from me. *HUG* I LUV Y'ALL. 8D

Chapter 1 ~ Step Out Into Thin Air


Numbers ran through his head. Counting, counting. Fifty-two days since a day off. It had been a Thursday. Twenty-seven nights since getting at least six hours of sleep at once. Six and a half. And seven the night before that. Less than that…for 27 nights in a row since. Eight…eight…eight of these…blue drinks. Maybe. Probably. He thought he'd counted six drinks after choosing the blue stuff as the easiest to swallow, and then two more since this tall guy started buying them for him.

52…27…8…six foot two. He was guessing. If I'm five-seven…five-eight in shoes…he'd be a little over six feet. Six-two. Probably. It was hard to judge from the barstool though.

8…6-2…4-15…It was today.

Today was April 15. Today was the infamous tax day. Roxas didn't like accounting or tax preparation, but he was pretty good at it, and contract ghostwriting barely paid the bills. Christmas generally shot his finances to hell, but fortunately people started needing to file their taxes shortly after, and picking up extra work doing that had helped pay off Christmas for the past five years. 5…216.

3…14…49…135…216. Year to year, his client count had expanded at an astronomical rate. He hadn't counted on word of mouth…or Facebook, maybe. He hadn't counted on 216 people wanting him to prepare their taxes this year, the majority of them waiting until the past month to come to him about it. He'd just taken what life threw at him, same as always. 52…27…2. Two writing jobs on the side at the same time. 12…or maybe 13. Visits to the hospital to see his grandmother; she was sick. She was getting out next week – better now, thank God – but her illness had been badly-timed. 22 days before 4-15…

And now… 4-15…and 8. Eight drinks in him, April 15, taxes done, writing done, grandmother okay for now, and he should be sleeping, right now, Roxas should be in bed, but he was this close to bug-eyed insanity and he needed a drink, never mind that he didn't really drink, not since college. He was wound up too tight, fraying at the edges, ready to snap, and he'd been looking at numbers rather than human beings for…for…52…27…52…27…six foot two.

"Six foot two" had appeared at twenty past eleven with a few lines that didn't register, a tone of voice that did. His face might be attractive, might not be, Roxas couldn't be quite sure from only looking through his peripheral vision…but his hands were big, with neat, trimmed fingernails and slightly-large knuckles, and those Roxas knew very well already.

Two years, five months…seven…seventeen days. Since he'd started thinking about trying a guy sometime. Two years, five months, seventeen days. It was a long time. 2, 5, 17. Since the last person he'd dated had said her farewells. 2, 5, 17 – It was a long time to be alone.

"Hey," a purring voice finally broke into his thoughts as one of those big hands slid his empty glass away, "I think you've had enough of these. You're mumbling to yourself, you know? I wouldn't want you to pass out on me later…"

Warm breath caressing his ear…2, 5, 17…Roxas inclined his head slightly, listening, staring ahead and not looking at the man, at six foot two who he was thinking might be just perfect for his there's always a first time.

Because Roxas didn't want it to be 2, 5, 18. Not eighteen. Seventeen sounded like a good stopping place. Six-two sounded like a good starting place. Eight sounded like a good stopping place…


"At my place."

"…Where's that?"

"Just two blocks away, actually. Convenient."

Two sounded like a good starting place.

Roxas addressed the bar. "I was just thinking of getting some air…"

A chuckle threaded through the purring voice of six-two. "Come on then. Let's go for a little walk."

He followed six-two out of the bar and they turned down the street. "I'm Axel, by the way."

Roxas counted cracks in the sidewalk, one, two, three, four… "Yeah, okay." Hands in his pockets. Not touching the other guy.

A pause, then a chuckle. "And uh…you are?"

Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven… "Roxas."

"Kay. Nice." Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen… "Not too chatty are ya, Roxas?"

He let his silence answer the question. They reached a street – crossing it interrupted his count of sidewalk cracks. At the same time, Roxas caught motion from the edge of his peripheral vision – a big hand moving as if to touch him. He shifted out of reach. The hand dropped.

They walked the rest of the way in silence, not touching.

Six-two – Axel – lived on the fourth floor, apartment number 436. Roxas glanced around the place as he entered, counting 14 framed pictures scattered around the room, one couch, two chairs, one ottoman-thingy. Six-two told him to have a seat. One two one, one two one… Roxas stared at the choices, paralyzed. Six-two returned with a glass of water and cocked his head to the side. Then he handed Roxas the glass with a chuckle, and a big hand spread warmly between Roxas' shoulder blades and guided him to the couch with a gentle push-then-pull, and Roxas was sitting beside six-two.

"Drink up, Roxas. Don't wanna killer hangover in the morning, do ya?"

Before Roxas could answer, drink, or continue to silently stare at the water, his field of vision was abruptly blocked by a lot of red, big-knuckled fingers lifted his chin a bit, and there were lips touching his own in a wet, slow press. Warm.

Six-two. One.

Then it was over, and he was blinking in surprise at…oh God damn, a ridiculously good-looking face. His heart skipped a beat, one two, one-one two, one two, and the guy added again, with a wink, "Drink up."

Automatically, Roxas obeyed, swallowing water to distract himself from six-two and his crazy green eyes and his sharp features and his bizarre, how-had-he-missed-that hair, and his stupidly magnetic lips. 2, 5, 17…no, not seventeen. Nineteen. Since his last kiss it was nineteen. 2, 5, 19, and now…

Six-two-Axel leaned over in the pause while Roxas counted, and he did it again. Longer this time.


When he pulled back, Roxas took three gulps of water at once…and ran out. Then he noticed the big hand cupping his hip, rubbing gently, and he glanced down to see the toned arm attached to that hand – reaching across his body, brushing against him, close.

Six-two-Axel kissed him in the spot where his jaw met his ear and took the water glass away.


What is he…oh. Oh yeah. Roxas remembered. He had come here for this…or else he'd been very, very misleading. He wasn't sure which. Six-two-Axel kissed his neck.


"Roxas…" Warm breath brushing his neck, murmuring words, purring again. "…you always like this with a few drinks in you? Kinda the opposite effect from what I'd been hoping…"

"Hoping?" Lips on lips again, soft and quick. Five.

A smirk. "Well, I don't usually buy drinks for guys just because they obviously wanna get shitfaced. I'm not that generous. And you looked like you needed to unwind. Getting drunk might help a little, but there are other ways to release a little…" Kiss. "…tension." Six.

That's right. I came here for this. That's right…2, 5, 17. A hand caressed his face, pulling him around to face six-two-Axel, and kiss, kiss again – two more, one quick, and then a change in angle and slower, pushing in past his lips, licking between them.

"You…y-you…" Seven…e-eight.

"Me? Axel. Remember? Axel." Another kiss, tongue delving deeper this time, the taste of beer invading him along with the man who kissed him with closed eyes and pulled back and did it again, moving faster, parting and reconnecting. And…pressing.

N-nine…or… Was that one, or should each break be counted? Nine, ten, eleven…twelve? Did I…miss one? Oh wait, thirteen, fourteen…but did I miss one back there or not…? Then a few more while he was trying to remember…and Roxas had lost count. Somewhere around twenty. Roughly…damn.

A break for air, finally. "You…"


"A-Axel…" Roxas swallowed. His eyes are so bright. "Do you always k-kiss people this much when you bring them home?"

Another smirk. He's so hot… "Hey. I like kissing. It's fun, feels nice, and your cheeks are an adorable shade of pink right now. Makes your eyes stand out. It's cute. I think I could do this for a while." Another sudden, deep kiss, like he was proving his point. Axel – all six-two of him – was way inside Roxas' space now, pressing in forcefully and pulling Roxas closer. His kisses – all however-many of them – were really good, too.

So this is what kissing a man feels like. Roxas' heart was racing and his breathing was unsteady and his body was…decidedly warm. He'd always sort of hoped it would do something like this to him. Well, not always… Two years, five…five months…ohhhhh God…

Only thing was, he wasn't really used to being this passive. Girls always made him make the first move…but then again, he was a little out of his comfort zone here, and unsure what to do. Like I'm gonna let him know that. "S-so…" He swallowed, still tasting Axel's beer. "Is that all you brought me here for? C-cause if all I'm gonna get from you is kissing, I should get back to the b-bar and find someone who won't waste my time."

Roxas tried to say it bravely. He clenched his hands into fists to try to hide how madly they were shaking. Maybe Axel wouldn't notice…

A deep chuckle from the other man…and a nip to Roxas' bottom lip. "That's more like it, baby." Then he was being kissed again, full and hard, and Roxas had no idea how many kisses this made but he stopped wondering about it as big hands went under his shirt and straight up his chest, and it was totally different from a girl touching him like that. Soft little girl hands against his chest always felt so tender, sweetly clinging…like protect me, like needing. And that had been nice enough…two years…some months…however-long ago… But now Axel's hands were touching him, and Axel's hands were different. This touch was forward, insistent, pleasuring, confident, possessive…like I'll make you feel good, and a little like I'll make you mine.

It was new, all new, totally new, take-his-breath-away new and unexpected, and Roxas wasn't even done processing the hands before his shirt was gone and it was Axel's mouth and tongue moving over his body now, and the hands had stroked downward and were rubbing over his crotch and that was when Roxas noticed that somewhere between the kissing and the disappearance of his shirt – oops, and Axel's too, when did that happen? – he'd gotten as hard as a virgin with his first look at a naked girl.

Or boy, as the case may be. It'd been a girl for Roxas, though. Back then…

With a sharp, naughty grin, Axel's teeth closed over the zipper pull on Roxas' jeans and…dragged it down. He felt the little unzipping vibrations trace down his penis and he nearly freaked out. He didn't know this six foot two strange guy at all and he didn't know much about gay sex, but it wasn't hard to figure that look and that gesture out, even so. And – though it might seem like a pathetically delayed realization – Roxas suddenly understood what he was doing. Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit… His hands were shaking uncontrollably now – he was going to have sex with a man he didn't know. Shit…should I at least ask if he has any…diseases? Oh shit, why hasn't he asked me that? Is it because he's…he's sick and it doesn't matter to him? Axel was plucking at the waistband of Roxas' boxers, time was running out, and, oddly, even the sudden paranoia of strangers and their STDs wasn't doing a damn thing to counteract the arousal burning through his body, fed by alcohol – eight – and too much stress to give a shit anymore – 52 and 27.

Big hands wrapped around his penis…cock…d-dick? What do gay guys call their members? Roxas had watched a few – well, gay porn videos…and those guys always, always said "dick." But then, didn't everyone in porn say "dick"? He couldn't remem-Oh dear God! Axel squeezed him and stroked hard and then his tongue was playing over the head of Roxas'…whatever-gay-men-called-it.

He grabbed.

He didn't notice the little crinkle in Axel's forehead, the sharp green eyes observing… Roxas wasn't aware of his trembling hands clutching red hair, but Axel noticed. Roxas wasn't even aware he was biting his lip, let alone that fear and panic and arousal were painfully clear in his face…but Axel noticed. Green eyes narrowed as a big thumb rubbed over the head of Roxas' cock – which is what Axel would have called it, if asked – and the stranger watched carefully for a minute as the young man on his couch panted and moaned and looked scared enough to cry.

It was really, really cute.

"Hey," he started, using his other hand to tug one of Roxas' out of his hair and squeeze it, getting the guy's attention. "Hey Roxas…this might be a funny question but…you ever done this before?"

The question made him freeze. Was he being obvious? Awkward? Doing something stupid? Oh shit… "I'm…I'm not a virgin." He wasn't pouting, either. That was called "sullen" – not pouting.

Green eyes rolled and Axel smirked. "Right, sure, okay, but have you ever had sex with a man before is what I was asking. You ever take it in the ass before? Cause baby, I'm not gonna lie, getting inside you is about all I can think about right now." Roxas just stared at the guy, wide-eyed. Axel seemed to take it as a silent confirmation and sighed, but he asked again just to be sure. "But I'm gonna have to revise the plan if this is your first time, so seriously – have you ever had sex with a man before?"

Roxas was absolutely, agonizingly torn. What's he mean? Is he gonna like, stop and send me home if I say I haven't? But if I say I have, is he gonna assume stuff and end up…hurting me? Shit… "I uh…you…you don't have to r-revise that plan…"

But Axel sighed again and let go of him with a wry smile. "Too late. Already revised." He stood and pulled on Roxas' hand. "Let's go, cutie."

"W-wait! I'm fine! It's fine, d-don't make me leave!" 2, 5, 18? 18, 19, 20, 21, how much longer? I don't care, I don't want even one more day of that!

A pause, and then a harder yank that dragged Roxas suddenly to his feet…and pulled him against the much taller – How tall again? – man's chest. Axel smirked. "Who said anything about leaving? I sure as hell didn't. We're just heading to the bedroom to take care of this properly. Wouldn't wanna show you a bad time when you're new to this, would I?"

Roxas blinked and managed a feeble, "Oh…" Then he let Axel drag him by the hand to the bedroom, thinking to himself, Six foot whatever…Axel…Axel might be a really good place to start, actually. Maybe he could trust this guy to make the first time…not so scary.

Planted on Axel's bed – and gently stripped of his pants – Roxas watched wide-eyed as his soon-to-be-one-night-stand started pulling things out of drawers. "All right, now, here in man-sex world, we use condoms." Axel held up a box and gave Roxas a "paying attention?" look. "I hope you used them with girls anyway…" He trailed off, eyebrows raised, and Roxas nodded blankly. Axel seemed satisfied and continued. "Good good. Well, we aren't worried about babies here, obviously, but we do need to be just as careful as straight folks about keeping clean, even more so, maybe. So. Condoms." He set the box down and picked up a bottle. "Also, lube. You ever had a girl let you do the back door?"

Roxas flushed slightly and shook his head. The girls he'd dated – three – had all shared but one opinion about that – Absolutely disgusting no way. He had never quite understood it, but he'd respected their wishes.

Axel continued. "Right, well, the back door isn't made for going in, see. Not that you can't – you can, and if you do it right, it feels pretty awesome, especially once you get used to it. It's a little weird at first. But it makes a world of difference to have lube and prepare right, so we keep this handy." He set the bottle beside the condoms. Then those big hands started casually undoing the front of Axel's jeans…and taking them off. Roxas swallowed, eyes wide and heart racing. Axel's…he was just going to say penis, he just was, damn it, Roxas had a right to call it what he liked. Anyway, Axel's penis was half-hard and…not too shabby. Will that really fit…? Fear and arousal made him shiver as he stared.

The lecture continued, but the tone took a decidedly salacious turn. "Don't worry, I'm not planning on fucking you tonight. I was, but not anymore. But since I'm getting to see all of you – and it's quite a sight, I should add," Axel smirked as he ran his eyes over Roxas' body and Roxas promptly flushed, "…it's only fair you get to see as much of me." There was a touch of arrogance in his last words…like Axel thought Roxas should consider himself lucky to get an eyeful of Axel. …Which Roxas sort of did, actually. God he's sexy.

"So, you wanna know what's gonna happen next, or do you want me to surprise you?" Axel smiled in a rather friendly way and sat down on the bed next to Roxas, who wasn't sure how to deal with the odd mix of the illicit and the matter-of-fact.

"Um…I'm not that big a fan of surprises actually…" Which was true. He wasn't sure he really wanted to hear whatever Axel was gonna say, but being surprised by it instead…

"Okay, well, I was planning on giving you oral and fingering you a bit in the process, so you can get used to how it feels. Then once I make you come, we're done for the night and you can just crash here."

Yeah. Definitely didn't want to hear that. Not like that anyway. Roxas thought he might be dying of embarrassment. If he wasn't still pretty drunk, he'd probably have slapped the guy out of shock…and then he wouldn't have gotten laid, so screw that and huzzah for alcohol!

"What uh, what about you?" A shy glance down.

A big, shit-eating grin. "Oh no worries, I'll get myself off too. You don't need to do anything this time, kay? Just keep looking cute and sexy as hell…" Axel was in his space again before Roxas could blink, and then his lips were getting nipped at teasingly. "Oh and kissing. Did I forget to mention that? I'm gonna kiss you some more too, kay?"

Roxas opened his mouth to agree to all this, but Axel didn't wait – just shoved his mouth onto Roxas' and pressed his body down into the bed and tongued him half out of his mind.

He didn't notice at what point during the kissing Axel grabbed a condom and the lube. But he must have, because he took them with him when he moved down Roxas' body, and when that hot, wet mouth enveloped Roxas' penis, Axel never had to pull off after that to find something he needed or otherwise interrupt the most sensational oral sex Roxas had ever experienced. If Roxas had been paying attention – if he'd had the attention to spare – he would have been impressed that Axel could keep bobbing his head steadily and sucking hard while tearing open a condom and slipping his fingers into it and then covering the latex with plenty of lube. It was a dexterous trick…but Roxas didn't notice the performance of it, only the results – a slick, gentle probing touch massaging the entrance to his ass.

Moaning, Roxas gasped as he felt the circling pressure. He literally had never noticed how sensitive that particular spot was. His legs trembled and shook involuntarily, and he almost kicked Axel in the head…but managed to direct the spasm outward rather than in. Then, very slowly, one large finger was slipping inside him.

"Nnnh…nn." Roxas squirmed a little, trying to hold still so as not to mess Axel up…trying to relax so as not to make it painful if it didn't have to be. That was something he'd learned from his casual study of gay sex – relax. Actually, he'd learned quite a few things – theoretical knowledge only, of course – and Axel's lecture hadn't really been news to him at all, but he hadn't known how to say so. Just like how right now he didn't really know how to say that Axel's finger felt fucking weird and he wasn't sure he liked it at all…so he just grunted a little and kept focusing on relaxing. It was supposed to get good soon. The internet had promised.

Axel slid his finger all the way in, then out again slowly, and a slight coolness and renewed slickness told Roxas he was adding more lube as he went, too. Which definitely helped – honestly, besides the oddness of the new sensation, Roxas was relieved – nothing hurt yet, and Axel's finger moved in and out of him with surprising ease.

Things felt a little different with the addition of the second finger, but it was still okay…not great, but not bad. And then Roxas could only assume that Axel must have found what the internet had promised was the male G-spot – the prostate. His head jerked back involuntarily and Roxas moaned, helpless against the throbbing pleasure that hit him. "Ohhhhh, Axel…woah…" He felt a rumbling vibration around his penis, then – Axel chuckling. And then the guy started making every slow penetration a dragging stroke toward that spot, followed by a circling, rubbing massage before the slow withdrawal again.

Roxas didn't last too long after that started.

Axel managed a third finger, then picked up the pace a bit, and Roxas figured from the holy fucking oh-my-God suction Axel was giving him that it was probably okay to come now…because either that's what Axel was trying to do to him, or he was just doing whatever, which would mean Roxas was not cut out for gay sex if "just whatever" was going to send him over the edge this quick. He wouldn't be able to handle much more. …But ohhhhhhhhhhhh that probably wasn't the case, he was probably going to really, oh God, really enjoy gay sex, right after he came in Axel's mouth…

Oops. Roxas was a gasping, moaning, writhing mess, so he didn't really realize he'd done it until his orgasm passed…and then he almost panicked again because he hadn't meant to do that, it wasn't polite to just assume that was okay…

"Oh my God." One look at Axel banished that worry…and embarrassed Roxas half to death again. Axel had shifted to lie on his side next to Roxas, who could plainly see the man jerking himself off, fast. And then he grinned wickedly when he saw Roxas looking and…swallowed.

Okay, Roxas decided, scratch that. Gay sex might be amazing, but if it was going to be this embarrassing too, maybe he wasn't cut out for it after all.

"You know," Axel's deep, rough voice panted, interrupting Roxas' embarrassment, "…you don't have to, but if you want, you could give me a hand here." He winked mischievously at Roxas' aghast stare, then, still stroking himself, leaned over and placed a sweet little kiss on Roxas' bare shoulder.

It took Roxas about four seconds of complete mind blank before he acted. Torn between awkward nervousness and his desire to at least let Axel come too, Roxas' mind was made up for him on the spot when he remembered that he wasn't a damn virgin, he really wasn't, and while he appreciated Axel doing everything to make his first gay sex nice, he didn't need to act like Roxas couldn't do anything at all. Even if Roxas was unsure about the finer points of pleasuring another man, he knew the basics after all.

So he took a deep breath, rolled toward Axel and pressed his body close, nuzzled his face into the man's neck and started mouthing around, looking for good spots. He pressed skin to skin all down the length of their bodies, stroked his hands down Axel's chest, and then went straight for the gold, basically. Axel let his hand be shoved aside – he pulled Roxas closer with it instead – and his breath hitched heavily as Roxas took over. Telling himself it was just like masturbating…on someone else…Roxas started to give Axel an excellent hand job. However, Axel was apparently already pretty close, and he didn't get to enjoy Roxas' hands for very long before he came into them with a long, throaty groan.

And that sensation was another new one for Roxas to process. It was kinda…hot, actually.

With a lazy stretch of his arm, Axel snagged two tissues and handed them to Roxas, just as Roxas was realizing that he didn't know what to do about Axel's come all over his hands. "Thanks for that, baby. 'Preciate it." Roxas rolled onto his back and just nodded, cleaning up his hands with the tissues. When he was done – and had cast about for a moment before spotting Axel's trash – Roxas finally noticed the lazy, dreamy green gaze staring at his face. He glanced over at Axel, who was lying on his side, just watching him sleepily. Roxas was starting to feel pretty damn sleepy himself, actually.


Axel half-grinned. "Feel better?"

Roxas blinked. "Huh?"

"You're not mumbling to yourself anymore."

Roxas considered this for a moment. It took a moment because he was still somewhat drunk, and he didn't remember that he'd been mumbling in the first place. Before he could formulate an answer, however, Axel continued drawling.

"You know…I'd like to kiss you again right now, but I did just suck you off…"

Roxas didn't quite follow. "So?"

Another grin. "Most guys don't care for the taste of their own jizz. Which I'm guessing you've never sampled before."

Oh. Roxas swallowed and thought about Axel's kisses. "Well…maybe I should get used to it."

Green eyes widened as Axel laughed out loud. Then, pulling himself closer, the man murmured through his chuckles, "I knew there was a reason I bought you those drinks."

Roxas didn't really catch all that. He was distracted by Axel's tongue in his mouth. He stayed distracted too – Axel, given no discouragement, just went on with the kissing, nice and deep and incredibly sensual. Roxas didn't notice he had both hands fisting in red hair until the man finally drew back a little and was promptly stopped two inches away – smirking.

"I'm guessing you don't mind the taste?"

Considering a moment, Roxas answered, "Can't really taste it. Still mostly just alcohol." Eight drinks were bound to have an aftertaste, and whatever jizz-flavor Axel's mouth had recently acquired, it was still mingled with his beer. And Roxas wasn't trying too hard to pick out whatever taste was supposed to make him not want Axel to kiss him anymore.

Actually, he couldn't quite miss something a little…weird…but he wasn't about to say anything to let it stand in his way. He didn't want the kissing to stop yet.

He might not have a choice, though, because the tiredness that had been welling up since just after his orgasm was reaching the point of overwhelming exhaustion right now. All those nights of so little sleep – How many again? Egh…a lot. – and all those drinks – …eight, right? – were hitting him hard and putting an end to the sex and the kissing. Damn it.

Roxas didn't notice when Axel draped a blanket over them both – he just curled up under it automatically, pulling it up and tucking it under his chin. Then he pretty much passed out.

Axel grinned sleepily, watching him, and then lay down close by, tugging the blanket a bit to try to take some of it back from the boy he'd picked up at a bar, taken home and bedded…and who apparently was going to prove to be the cutest blanket hog Axel had ever slept with.