Author's Note: This puppy's written for you, Mom. It takes place sometime before the events of The First Dream, so… yeah. Happy Mother's Day!
Legend of the Dream Keeper Oneshot: Goombario's Goompalicious Adventure
I sighed as I stared at the calendar in my room. Tomorrow was Mother's Day, and I couldn't think of anything to get my Mom. All the best stuff I could think of either I couldn't afford or someone else already got it for her.
"Man… there's gotta be something I can do," I said to myself, pacing the room. "Think, Goombario, think!"
"Watcha thinkin' about, sport?" Goompa asked, he suddenly pacing next to me. I didn't question this: He's been acting like this for months now. I guess his Alzheimer's finally reached the point where he started breaking the laws of physics or something.
"I'm trying to come up with something to give Mom tomorrow," I told him. "Hey Goompa… what are you getting her?"
"A nuclear reactor!" Goompa said proudly.
"…wouldn't that be a bit big to be able to just give?" I asked, not fully believing that he got that.
"It's miniature!" Goompa replied. "Not only can it fit in your purse, but it also has enough Uranium to wipe out Peach's Castle!"
"…okay," I said. "Goompa, I need your advice."
"Ask away, sport!" Goompa said cheerfully.
"Well… what do you think I should get Mom for Mother's Day?" I asked him.
"Hm… oh, I know!" Goompa said. "The mystical Black Diamond from the Inverted Castle of Dimension V98!"
"…okay then?" I said. "But, how would I get that?"
"DO A BARREL ROLL!" Goompa shouted, flinging an unfamiliar controller at my feet.
"…what?" I asked, tilting the analog stick.
"Close enough!" Goompa giggled, and suddenly, we were both on a rocky mountain. The sky was black, the winds howled, and an ominous castle sat at the peak of the mountain.
"There it is," Goompa said, he now in an explorer's getup. "Let's go fight our way through hordes of monsters and get the Black Diamond!"
"Uh… okay!" I said, chalking this down as a dream or something. But, hey: Maybe this was real, and I could actually get something for Mom. And if this WAS a dream, I would at least have an idea as what to get Mom.
So anyway, the two of us marched up the mountain side when we were stopped by a Toll Booth.
"Our first challenge!" Goompa said. "The Phantom Toll Booth! I'll handle this, you stay here and practice balancing this bowling ball on this pin!"
As he gave me both, he walked up to the Toll Booth.
"Hey Rhyme!" he said cheerfully. "How's Reason?"
"She is doing very fine, I haven't seen you for some time," Rhyme noted.
"Yeah… well, we gots to go to that castle and steal an ancient artifact for our own selfish needs!" Goompa said cheerfully. "Can ya let us in?"
"Sorry Goompa, but I can't," Rhyme apologized. "If I do, my boss will rant."
"…please?" Goompa asked.
"No show," Rhyme shook her head.
"No way, I say!"
"…that's not even please, you random cheese!"
"Yes it is! Google Translate says so!"
"Okay okay, just go away!" Rhyme finally said in exasperation. She hit a button, and the gate raised.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaay!" Goompa said cheerfully. "Come, random stranger! Let's go!"
"…I'm your grandson," I said, leaving the bowling ball and pin behind.
"Details, details," Goompa shrugged off. "Now we have to enter the castle!"
"Okay… but how?" I asked, looking up at the huge, menacing castle. "It doesn't have any doors."
"You gots to use your imagination!" Goompa said. "Now hold still!"
"But why-" I started.
"Ah, okay!" I said, holding still.
"Now then… Blue Skadoo'd, we can too!" Goompa sung. Suddenly, we were both flung to the castle and landed on our feet next to a picture of the area we were just in a moment ago.
"I never get tired of that!" Goompa said cheerfully as he skipped down the hallway. Inwardly shrugging, I followed close behind him as we went down the halls. Soon, however, we were stopped by a monster with two faces.
"So," the left face said, "which path are you to take-"
"Not you, two-faced man!" Goompa said, walking right past him. "Hi, Janus!"
"…my name is Magus," a pale man in a red cape with long, blue hair and holding a scythe said.
"Okay, whatever you say!" Goompa said as the two-faced man sulked away.
"Well then, seeing as there's no new sequel for the Chrono Series in sight, I've been hired as a guard to protect the Black Diamond," Magus said, getting into battle position.
"Okay then!" Goompa giggled. "Goombario, time to start earning your keep!"
"Wait, what?" I asked as Goompa pushed me toward Magus.
"Oh, he's not that hard!" Goompa said. "Just cast the spell he's weak to, and repeat until you've gotten rid of all 6666 of his HP!"
"But-but I don't know how to cast magic!" I replied, terrified this dangerous looking man would kill me.
"That's why Final Fantasy VI gave us Magitek Armor!" Goompa said, pulling out a box of metal. After throwing it out, it expanded into a large suit of armor that picked me up and sat me in.
"Okay… uh…" I said, looking down at the levers and buttons.
"Ice II!" Magus said, pointing his finger at me. A huge glacier was summoned and crashed toward me.
"Ah!" I said, randomly hitting a button. It shot a blast of water at him, melting the glacier down and knocking Magus back.
"You win!" Goompa cheered. "Now let's RIDE THAT PUPPY!"
He jumped on the armor with me and slammed his foot on a gas peddle that was suddenly always there. With a loud revving sound, the armor launched forward at mega speeds. The now-shaken Magus was knocked back and out of a window as we plowed past him.
"Is he going to be okay?" I asked Goompa.
"So long as he eats his vegetables and exercises every day!" Goompa laughed as we shot through. We even somehow crashed THROUGH several walls before we found ourselves in a large, dark chamber with an aura of power around it. In the center was a pillar, and at the top of that was a floating Black Diamond.
"This is the room!" Goompa said, jumping off. The armor suddenly vanished and I found myself lying on the ground.
"…but I don't see the Diamond!" Goompa said.
"But Goompa, it's right-" I started.
"Do YOU see the Diamond?" Goompa asked as he turned around and looked at the air. Suddenly, a blue arrow came down and clicked on the Black Diamond, which glowed like something being selected on a computer.
"Gracias!" Goompa said to the air before turning back to the Diamond. "Now, we have to face the hardest challenge of all…"
"What would that be?" I asked, walking up to him.
"We have to solve the ancient riddle of the ancients!" Goompa said, turning to a chalkboard. On it read:
"What is 2 + 2?"
"A thousand divided by one hundred men have tried to solve this riddle…" Goompa said. "All had failed. We must think hard before we answer-"
"Like this, Goompa?" I asked, stepping away from the Chalkboard, which I just wrote "4" on.
"Fool!" Goompa said. "You've doomed us all!"
Suddenly, a black hole opened up where the chalkboard used to be and began sucking everything in.
"AH!" I shouted, clinging to a nearby pillar with my teeth.
"There's only one thing left to do…" Goompa said. "Purple paint, GO!"
He pulled out a purple can of paint and threw it into the Black Hole. It suddenly turned purple instead of black before vanishing.
"Remember kids: Purple makes the world go 'round!" Goompa said cheerfully.
"…okay," I said, running up to the Black Diamond. As soon as I grabbed it in my teeth, the whole place began shaking.
"SHE'S GONNA BLOW!" Goompa said, jumping into a space ship. A claw shot out and yanked me in before flying out of the room. The outside suddenly turned into a huge area of metal as we flew through, narrowly missing being blown up by crashing. When we finally left, we were somehow in space, and the castle was a giant sphere of metal. I only caught a glimpse of it, however, before it exploded.
"Jumping to Hyperspace!" Goompa said, hitting a button marked "Improbability Drive". After briefly turning into a duck, I found myself back in my room, alone. I still had a sack that I apparently always had, and in it was the Black Diamond.
"Well… that was weird," I said, walking out. I saw in our main room Mom being given presents. Looking at the calendar, I saw it was already Mother's Day.
"Uh… Mom?" I asked, walking up.
"Oh, Goombario!" Mom said with a smile. "I haven't seen you all day! You were starting to worry me!"
"Well, I wanted to put the finishing touches on this…" I said, pulling out the sack. "Happy Mother's Day!"
Mom opened the sack and pulled out…
…a picture of us as a family on a home-decorated picture frame.
"What… but… Mom, I'm sorry, I-" I started, but was interrupted by Mom giving me a hug.
"I love it, Goombario," she said. Smiling, I hugged her back.
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom."
From a bit of a ways away, Goompa was watching through a window, smiling to himself.
"Goompa, you've done it again," he said.
"Thanks, Goompa!" Goompa replied. "That means a lot!"
"Well, I gotta go now!" Goompa said, pulling out a white device and creating a blue portal. "I need some cake!"
"Good luck!" Goompa said as Goompa jumped into the portal, which vanished as soon as he entered.
"What a nice man…" Goompa said. "I wish I were more like him!"
Author's Note: Remember to give thanks to your Moms, people! They've done a lot for us! Well, until next time, this is Pax the Dreamer, signing out!