Sometimes it's the moments we wish we could forget that remain with us through everything no matter how much we wish we could forget them. Sometimes it makes us stronger and sometimes it can break us but for me it causes only emptiness and a longing I no longer wish to feel. I long for something that I had always wanted but had been denied yet it was only as my body lay torn and broken on the ground did I realize how much I truly wanted it, longing for an angel to save me from my own darkness that I could not control or direct towards anything but myself that had nearly consumed me long before that day.
The hive had been oddly quiet that day but we didn't think about why, only that we had to find and kill a demon we had only ever heard stories about. Back then those stories used to keep me awake until I could no longer stand it but as they say times change. When they found us it wasn't fear that caused me to move , not then, nor was it fear I felt when they grabbed me because even though I had seen death so many times before in front of my own eyes I never really thought about what would happen if they got me.
We were so close to the opening , to the sunlight and I remember thinking how could I be afraid now when we're this close to safety yet it had also been a man I knew only as a fellow warrior holding on to me that made me feel safe. These people were my brothers and sisters in the order and they would not leave me now when we were this close yet even as I thought this I knew it wouldn't be enough even if they did fight for me, one life was not as important as the life of many. There were so many of them and even then I think they wanted me even if they didn't know why, maybe they sensed what I would become or maybe their queen somehow knew but for them then want meant hunger, that was when I felt the first pangs of fear.
I can't remember if he let go or if they just pulled me away but that was the end for me and what a sad end it was, begging for it to just end as they sliced into my unprotected skin, ripping away my mortal flesh yet it did not end, not then because an angel chose to save me, she chose to make me strong enough that I would never be helpless again. I chose to join her.
The Church taught us that they were monsters, those soulless demons that came at night to bring misery and bloodshed however it was her that saved me, not a soulless demon but a pure spirit who wanted to protect her children. It was her not my friends or the man that I never got a chance to know but her the very creature that I had come to kill that allowed me to truly live for the first time and as I was reborn I could not forget that man who had gripped my hand and tried to pull me away from my death, my destiny or his scream that sounded as delicious as only a sin could that had followed me to my death and through my rebirth.
I know this isn't very good and I'm sure i made some grammatical errors however i would appreciate it if you simply pointed these out instead of flaming me.