I walk with Rose; our arms are linked and we're talking about Jake's party. Rose says I must find the 'perfect shirt'.
"Not too slutty though, just enough to show a little cleavage," she says.
"Like that one," I say, staring at the one she's wearing.
"No! Sluttier than this one."
"Is 'sluttier' a word?"
"I don't know; you're the one who wants to be a writer, my dear."
"How is that a 'touché' moment?"
"I don't know." I watch Alice as she stops, stares at a window display and runs into a store. Behind me I hear Jasper, Emmett and Edward talking about baseball. I know Jasper plays first base and pitches a little; his passion is batting though.
"Did you see the shirt Edward was wearing?" Rose asks as we follow Alice into the store that she disappeared in.
"Yeah," I sigh, thinking about the Red Sox shirt I got a glimpse of when he unzipped his sweatshirt.
"He says his parents met at a Red Sox game."
"Cute." I can practically see the sarcasm dripping off the word.
"It really is, you should have him tell you the story."
"I'd rather not."
"Bella, try this on! Rose, try these!" Alice suddenly separates Rose and me and shoves clothes into our hands. I walk toward the dressing rooms. This should be qualified as abuse. I'm going to need a double session with Sue after today.
"I don't know Alice, does it come in red?" I ask as I step out of the dressing room. Emmett wolf whistles and I flip him off.
"Hey, that wasn't for you," Emmett says, throwing up his hands in an 'I'm innocent' or 'I surrender' way before nodding toward the dressing room Rose went into. I look over and see her standing in front of her door, wearing a short green dress.
"Matches your eyes, babe," Emmett says, Rose winks at him and I notice Jasper tense up.
"Anyways," Alice says, "No, Bella, you're not getting red, blue looks amazing on you."
"But I like red," I pout.
"Really? We didn't notice," Rose says. "You only have a red motorcycle."
"And truck," adds Jasper.
"And shoes," Alice contributes.
"And iPod," Jasper says.
"I get it!" I exclaim. I glare at them and sigh before crossing my arms.
"Whatever, so am I getting it?" I ask Alice. I don't really decide when it comes to whether or not I get something. Alice is the master mind behind that.
"You should," Edward says, I stare at him in shock. He even looks shocked that he said it. This whole time, he's kept to himself. I narrow my eyes, wondering what he's playing at.
"Yes, you're getting it," Alice says, before pushing me back into my dressing room. We stay in the store for another hour before we finally make off with our purchases. I only got the one dress.
Suddenly, I smell ultimate goodness and can't help the moan that passes my lips. I start walking faster and hear Emmett say, "Oh fuck, she smelled it."
"Bella, stop," Alice says. I start running, they'll never catch me alive! Hard arms wrap around me and I let out an 'ompf' sound. Shit, they got me. No matter, I'll just continue on my way.
"Bella, darlin', please stop dragging me," Jasper says, still trying his best to hold on to me.
"Honey, you gotta admit you have a problem."
"Don't 'darlin'' and 'honey' me, Jasper, I'm getting a soft pretzel!"
"Seriously? All this is about a soft pretzel?" I hear Edward say.
"It's not just a soft pretzel! There are also little soft pretzel bites and they're so damn good; especially when you get the honey mustard dipping sauce," I whine as Emmett steps in front of me. I'm so close! I can see the stand.
"Bella, this is an intervention," Alice says, putting her hand on my shoulder.
"But they're so good," I whimper.
"How good?" Edward asks.
"Fucking orgasmic," I say, peering around Emmett to look longingly at the soft pretzels.
"Well in that case," he says, before sauntering over to the stand. Is he actually getting me a soft pretzel? Is this a truce? A peace offering? Edward walks back with the pretzel in his hand and stops in front of me. Jasper slowly lets me go and Edward and I stare at each other. Then, Edward takes a huge bite of the pretzel.
"Jack ass," I say, before lunging for his pretzel. I feel Jasper grab me again and glare at Edward as he chuckles and steps out of my reach.
"Common', Bells, I'll get you a strawberry milkshake," Rose says, taking my hand and starting to pull me away.
"With a cherry?" I ask, glancing back at Edward's half eaten pretzel and then at Rose.
"Sure, we'll even give you our cherries," Alice says. Extra cherries?
"Okay," I say, letting them lead me toward the food court where the Dairy Queen is located.
"Bye Belly-Button!" Alice yells as I get out of Emmett's car and walk toward my front door. I wave and hear them drive away. It's started raining again, so I pull up my hood and jog to the front door. I nearly lose my balance on a patch of soggy grass, but manage to make it inside without falling.
I take off my jacket and shake out my hair. Then I toe off my shoes and look around the house. Empty.
Went to get Chinese food. You were taking to long. Love, Dad read the note in the kitchen. I laugh and open the fridge. There are cold cuts. I can make myself a sandwich. But first, I need tunes. I skip to the living room and turn on the stereo, my perkiness surprising even me. I glance at the shopping bags I left at the bottom of the stairs and figure they can go upstairs later.
"Teenage dreams, in a teenage circus," I sing to myself, as I spread mustard on my bread.
I love this mixed CD Alice made for me. Obviously, I burned it onto my iTunes account so I could have all the songs on my iPod, but I also listen to it in my truck. It was in the stereo because last weekend Alice and Rose came over and we had a 'mini dance party'. Suddenly, I break into an air guitar. The song that just came it kicks ass, it really does.
"Glaciers melting in the dead of night and the superstars sucked into the super massive," I sing, as I finish making my sandwich.
I hold my plate and contemplate where to eat. I could eat on the couch, or in the kitchen. Then there's also my room. I guess I'll eat in my room. Why not right? It's not like I'm having a sloppy joe. It's just a turkey sandwich. I balance my plate in one hand, pick up my shopping bags with the other and head upstairs. I put everything in my room, run downstairs to shut off the music and then go back to my little sanctuary.
Taking a bite out of my sandwich, I wake up my laptop. I chew thoughtfully as I browse around on Facebook. It's not as if I have a lot of friends. At most I have, twenty friends. I only caved and got one so I could communicate with Rose, Alice, Jasper and Emmett easier. I notice my mom's latest status update 'dinner with Phil & Ness'. Uh, gag me.
In reality, I shouldn't be so bitter about my mom having her new family. It's not like they're a new part of my life. She left my dad when I was one year old. The very next year she married Phil and before I knew it, I had a half sister; Renesmee. I was too young to talk my mom out of choosing the name. I was also too young to be able to pronounce it, so that's where her nick names 'Nessie' and 'Ness' come from. So really, they've always been around.
Nessie is fifteen and we're not exactly close. We were, once. But then I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and after it happened, she gave up on me. When I really needed her to prove she could be my sister, she wanted nothing to do with me. That's why I didn't care when Phil got his new job and they went off to live in Boston; sending me to live with Dad. I wanted to come here, I suggested it.
I find myself on Nessie's Facebook page. I almost didn't friend request her. But after Mom found me on Facebook, I knew it was only a matter of time before she did. A part of me didn't want to hurt her feelings by not wanting to be her friend. However, after she accepted my request, she chatted me one line 'this doesn't change how I feel'. Then she logged off and hasn't talked to me since. Fine by me; I don't need to talk to that brat.
I reach for my sandwich, but notice it isn't there anymore. Sighing, I sit back in my chair and thing about how fucked my life has become. It happened two years ago. I look at the calendar on my wall; two years ago as of yesterday. Oh great, two bad things to associate with that date; it and meeting Edward.
Was it really my fault? I ask myself one of the many questions Sue uses, to get me to open up. No, it wasn't my fault. Honest.
You see, I was angry. Reality was actually setting in and I was sick of being my 'mom's other daughter'. Nessie got all the attention. Mom, Phil and Ness, they were a family. I was the 'add on'. So I started hanging out with the wrong people.
To be fair, I didn't think they were the wrong people in the beginning. But when I realized who they truly were, I didn't leave them like the old me, the smart me, would have. The bitter, angry me, stayed. I drank with them, smoked with them and vandalized things with them. James, Laurent and Victoria told me that I'd be safe with them; part of their family.
One day in spring, James kissed me. It was weird. It wasn't how I imagined my first kiss, but I contributed the awkwardness to my inexperience. We starting doing things together, but never told anyone. I thought that our relationship was normal. However, when school let out and as summer began, I started to notice that it wasn't. He was obsessive and rough.
It was the first week of summer vacation, the fourth day, to be exact. I went out that night; technically, I snuck out. Mom and Phil didn't know and even though Ness saw, she said she wouldn't tell.
I made my way to our usual rendezvous. A wall with the word 'nomad' spray painted on it. James thought it was cool, I thought it was dumb, but kept my mouth shut. I wondered if Victoria and Laurent would join us tonight. They hadn't been hanging out with us recently. I leaned against the wall until I saw a girl with bushy red hair walking toward me. I waved at Victoria and as she came closer I saw she had dyed the bottom, under part of her hair black.
"Nice hair," I said to her. She just scowled and leaned on the wall next to me.
After what seemed like hours of waiting, James and Laurent joined us. I noticed the beer they carried and figured that was the reason for their delay. We went to a park and sat under a tree, passing around the drinks.
"Come on babe," James said after awhile. He stood up and I figured he wanted to come somewhere private to get 'down and dirty'; his way of calling what we did something other than 'sex'. I stood up and when I heard a gasp, I looked over and saw Victoria had stood up too. James looked like he didn't care at all about what was happening.
"You bastard," Victoria spat, before lunging. At first, I thought she was aiming for me. Everything was so blurry. Then I realized she was after James. She punched him in the face and he dropped. I think that maybe, he was expecting her to go for me as well. Later on I would realize that that was a fetish of his; watching girl fights. So was being a liar and a cheater.
I ran home, and snuck back into my room. I cried at first. I think Ness heard me and came in, but I pretended to be asleep.
On the sixth day of summer vacation I went to James's house. It was the first time since the night in the park that I had seen him and he had a pretty big black eye. I still went to his room with him. As we sat on his bed, making out I heard a click. James heard it too and we both turned to look at Victoria, standing in the door way with a gun. She shot James. It was like slow motion, watching her doing it and then watching him collapse. Then she aimed at me.
It was insanity. Her frizzy hair was wild, sticking in every direction. It looked like she hadn't slept in days. I got off the bed as fast as I could, but I still felt something sting my arm. I didn't look at it; instead I tackled Victoria and wrestled her gun from her. I hit her in the head with it, but she knocked it out of my hand. Neither of us had it now, but she was clever, used to being in brawls. She rolled on top of me and wrapped her hands around my neck.
The air was leaving my body. Lines blurred and I struggled to focus. I felt myself trying to kick her off of me. Desperately, I looked around and saw the gun. It wasn't in her line of sight, but I could reach it; barely. As her fingers tightened on my neck, mine tightened on the gun. I closed my eyes, it was the end for me; I could feel it. However, I could also feel my arm, raising the gun and my finger, pulling the trigger.
I stare at my laptop screen, the screen saver has turned on and it mesmerizes me. I shake my head and snap out of my trance. I move my finger on the touchpad and the screen returns to normal. But will my life return to normal? Probably not. I killed Victoria. I feel guilty for James; he's alive, but he'll never be the same.
The neighbors heard the shooting that day and called the cops. They said I was unconscious when they got there, but the gun was in my hand. That was incriminating me for both James and Victoria. I had been grazed on my left arm; the bullet that got James went straight through his shoulder. Victoria… that was a face shot. They said she probably died instantly.
Things after that went crazy. It was in the newspapers all summer. My mom was ashamed to be associated with me, I could tell. She called my dad and begged him to come down to Arizona and help her 'handle me'. Phil didn't weigh in with an opinion, but Nessie was disgraced. Her friends teased her for being the sister of a murderer. She told me one night that I disgusted her. It didn't matter when James said Victoria shot him and my 'self defense' story was determined true. Nessie and my mom still couldn't look me in the eye.
During all the investigating, my other crimes came out in the open. So even though the murder was self defense, I did go to a juvenile delinquent center. I spent a week in juvy, for vandalism of public property. I guess that added shame to the family.
I go to my own Facebook page and stare at my profile picture of me on my motorcycle. Part of me getting to come here, was agreeing to go to a therapist. After I came back from juvy, my mom determined that I was insane. Which may be true. I update my status to 'So before they bring you down. You've gotta stand for something or you'll fall for anything. Fall for anything.'
It could be worse, right? Yeah, I'll just keep telling myself that. I notice the little red notification pop up and I click it. 'Nessie Dywer likes your status'.
Cue, Ashton Kutcher popping out and exclaiming "You've just been punk'd!"
Wait, actually, I wouldn't mind Ashton being in my bedroom. Come out, come out wherever you are Mr. Kutcher!
The popping sound that Facebook chat makes when you get a message makes me jump and my hand flies to my chest.
"Mother fucker," I gasp, looking to the bottom corner of the screen to see who messaged me. Alice.
Wanna sleep over, Belly-Boo? She asked. I chuckle and look at the clock. I could sleep over, I guess.
Maybe, I'll have to ask Dad. He's not home right now… I say.
Want me to text him?
Alice, it's very weird that you have his number.
Not that weird. I dial my Dad and sit back in my chair.
Yes it is. I message back to her just as my dad answers his phone.
"Hey, Bella, what do you want?"
"Gee, someone's in a rush."
"I'm at the restaurant."
"Sue will be back from the bathroom soon," he says slowly and I hear myself squeal.
"That's so cute! Okay, I'll make it quick, Alice was wondering if I could sleep over tonight."
"Sure, honey, just be careful going over there, the roads are wet."
"I know, Dad."
"Text me when you get there, too."
"I will, promise. Have a good night with Sue."
I hang up and return to my computer. I send Alice the message he said yes, let me pack and I'll be there in 30 mins. Then I get up and start packing. Half way into it, I realize that spending the night with Alice, also means spending the night with Edward.
Yeah, yeah I know it's not Friday. Y'all must be like. 'What is this? This isn't Kansas. Where's Toto? I'm scared!' Just kidding. Anyways, last Friday I had a party to attend, so I was unable to update and just got this chapter done today.
As you can see, this was a pretty important chapter. You all know what happened to Bella. You've seen into her head, and know why she's kind of insane. You also know a bit more about her mom. Yeah, in this story Nessie is her half sister, just get used to it. So, thoughts? Did you expect it?
Also, I made a trailer for this story. Link will be on the profile. Songs mentioned were 'We Are Golden' by Mika, 'Supermassive Black Hole' by Muse and 'Fall For Anything' by The Script. So I don't own those, nor do I own Twilight and any other recognizable thing above… like Facebook.
And if any of you were wondering, a new chapter will be up on Friday (I hope). Reviews are appreciated.