So, I don't really think Spock and Kirk had anything other than a great bromance in TOS, but after reading discussions in LJ, this sort of came to me and I had to write it down. The characters may seem OCC, but after the end of Vulcan and the death of so many, I think that it might not be inconceivable that our favorite characters might be a bit tweaked…
Wasn't sure I should post, not everyone will like this. But I think some might. So, Enjoy!
Unbetaed, so all mistakes are mine 8-)
The captain set down the PADD he'd been reading and picked up his coffee cup. Over the rim he studied the Commander and his communications officer. They had come into the mess a half hour ago and he had tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore them. It wasn't that they ever made their relationship apparent. In fact, their discretion was faultless.
But he knew. He could see. The lift of the Vulcan's brow, the twinkle in the Lieutenant's eye. The shift of their bodies, always towards each other, even when they were yards apart. And now, enjoying their evening meal together, each with their own PADD, studying their own work. Yeah, he saw it, her palm up on her lap under the table. His fingers, running up and down her hand. He saw it. And it wasn't the way it was supposed to be.
Nyota Uhura bid her lover good bye and left to resume the rest of her shift. She past by the captain's table and nodded, hoping to get by him before he stopped her. He'd been acting strangely lately, something was bothering him and she had no idea what it could be. The flirting had stopped and the lecherous looks were a thing of the past, for which she was grateful. But there was something going on with him and it made her uneasy. She had asked Spock if he noticed the captain acting peculiar. Spock had stopped what he was doing and looked at her with a small tilt to his head and bit of mischievousness in his eyes that only she could see.
"You are referring to anything more peculiar than his usual behavior?" She giggled and he had taken her into his arms and reassured her. "Perhaps the responsibility of captaining a ship has made him reassess his priorities, k'diwa."
She nodded and left it alone. However, at times, like now, she just wasn't sure.
"Lieutenant?" Kirk looked up from his coffee.
"Sir?" The Lieutenant replied.
"Where are you off to?" He couldn't stop the hardness that crossed his face. "You've left your 'friend' all alone." His voice stressing the word. Friend.
"I'm on the bridge, sir. My shift ends at 1800 hours. I was on dinner break." She held in a sigh and cast a quick look at Spock, who in turned lifted a brow to her. She internally shrugged and he felt it.
"Dinner break. I see. Well, fine. I'm sure I'll see you later." He dismissed her with a nod of his head. Kirk looked up to see Spock not far behind while Nyota quickly left the mess.
Spock was intent on following her but was stopped by the captain as well. "Spock, hold on."
"Sir?" He stopped and stood with his hands behind his back, waiting.
"Jim, Spock, call me Jim." He smiled up at his first officer.
"As we are both on duty, sir, it would seem inappropriate." Spock replied.
"Fine. But in private, make it Jim. I'd hate to have to make that an order." He chuckled.
"I must report back to the bridge, Captain." He waited to be dismissed.
"It can wait a few minutes. Sit, please." Kirk motioned to a chair. Spock imperceptibly stiffened before he sat down.
"How can I be of service, sir?"
"I just wanted to know how things were going. It's been more than a month since we've set out; you've had a chance to see how the bridge crew is working out. What are your opinions?" Jim leaned in.
"Sir, I send you my weekly reports on each crew member on the bridge. Do you not read them?" Spock kept his voice unemotional, but he was a bit frustrated by the Captain's lack of decorum when it came to the clerical side of his position.
"Well, yeah, I skim them. But that's what our touch base meetings are about. Don't you think?" Kirk smiled.
"This is not our weekly touch base, Captain. If you would kindly 'skim' the latest reports I sent you we can go over them when we meet. I must report to the bridge and relieve Lt Daily." Spock got up and waited to be dismissed.
"Fine, I'll see you later." Kirk watched him leave with a sigh. The elder Spock showed him that this Spock would be special to him. And the more time Kirk spent with the Vulcan, the more he realized that this man could come to mean everything to him. If he could just make Spock see it as well. In the back of his mind he realized just how irrational it all was, how he was almost obsessed. But the scenario the elder Spock had shown him…the love, the acceptance, a life, a relationship that he could have never imagined. Especially with another man. But Spock wasn't just a man, he was a Vulcan. He was brilliant, he was logical, he was…perfect. And he had to make him see.
Biting her bottom lip, Nyota sat next to Spock. He set down the PADD he'd been reading and turned to his mate. She clasped her hands together and Spock took them in his own as he waited. She had been apprehensive, distracted for over a week. And she had been closing herself from him. He was apprehensive himself, not sure what her discomfort was concerning. Even though he knew it was illogical, he could not seem to fight that glimmer of fear that he was going to lose her.
"Yes, Nyota?" He held a question in a calm, quite voice.
"What?" Her voice an octave higher than usual.
"I know something is bothering you. You have been pensive; it has shown in your restless sleep habits. Is there something you wish to relate to me?" His voice was still even, but as Nyota opened herself to him, she sensed his fear.
"Oh no, Spock. No. It's not that. No, there's no one else. There will never be anyone else for me." She leaned into his arms and laid her face on his. He instantly relaxed as he felt her love bleed into him. Also her fear. He pulled away and looked into her eyes.
"Nyota, what is it? What is the reason behind your distress?" Spock took her face between his two palms and kissed her gently.
"Okay, here goes. Have you noticed how the Captain looks at you?" She bite her bottom lip.
"The Captain?" He queried. "I do not understand."
"I think that Kirk, I think he has feelings for you." She supplied.
"Feelings? Are you inferring he has…romantic feelings?" He did not think it could be a possibility, but he was almost at a loss for words. "I do not believe that he does."
"This is why I've been so stressed. I didn't know how to broach this with you. And I wasn't sure…" She felt his confusion, his uncertainty, but nothing else. No feelings for Kirk.
"You thought I might be harboring the same emotions? Emotions that we are not certain the Captain has for me. Nyota, where did this come from?" He still held her close, feeling her need for reassurance. He had thought she was leaving him for another and she thought he had feeling for their captain. In the scheme of things, the course of their lives these past months, perhaps it was not completely unwarranted.
"I'm sorry. It's just that before we left Earth, while we were still in dry dock, you…well, not you, but your older self, he spoke to me. He said that you and I were not meant to be. That there was another path for you." She took a deep breath. "I told him that this wasn't his universe. That he destroyed that universe and that he had no right to try to dictate this one to fit his parameters. I lost it with him and I just stormed off."
"I am sorry, k'diwa. You should have spoken to me sooner. This was not something to shield from your mate." He gently chastised her. He knew she was very protective of him, of his losses. His mother, his planet. And because of this tended to keep her worries from him. And he appreciated her even more for this, but she did not realize that his still fresh sorrow led to hidden insecurities.
"I know, but I was just so mad. But since then, Kirk…he looks at you with desire. I know what that looks like. I see how women look at you, Spock, and some men. You don't see it, but it's there. But with Kirk, at first I thought I was just imagining it. You know, he was such a…" she searched for the right words, "a ladies man at the Academy. He slept with anyone and everyone he could. But always female. He even tried to get me into bed. So I just thought I was being paranoid."
"When did you feel you were not being paranoid?" He asked.
"I don't know for certain…I suppose it's in his looks, the way his voice changes when he speaks to you, so many little things. Spock, I may be crazy, but I think that maybe the other Spock and his Kirk were more than just friends." She waited for his reaction.
He considered her apprehension and thought back over the past weeks. How could he not have noticed it? Not just the captain, but from the elder Spock before they left Earth. When he had questioned his elder self on sending Kirk back to the Enterprise instead of just coming himself. His meaning was not just in what he said, but in how he said it…
Because you needed each other. I could not deprive you of the revelation of all that you could accomplish together, of a friendship that will define you both in ways you cannot yet realize.
…cannot yet realize…in this older Vulcan's universe, not mine, he thought. He turned to Nyota.
"I believe you may be correct." Spock pulled her close again. "But my Nyota, there is nothing to concern yourself with. I have no desires regarding the Captain. As far as I am concerned, you are my mate. I am committed to you and only you."
Nyota placed her hands on his face and Spock did the same. She sighed in relief. "I'm sorry, ashayam. I am so sorry. It's just all been so crazy. I thought once we left dry dock, once we were finally on our mission, things would just calm down. We'd find our rhythm. But it all feels so…messy. We're all still in mourning, it's only been four months since Vulcan, since…I'm trying to remain strong, I know I'm an officer in Star Fleet, I just want to be with you, to work, to heal. But this…it almost makes me feel sick, Spock."
"Do not concern yourself, t'hylia; I shall speak to the Captain. If we cannot resolve this, we will rethink our options." He whispered into her hair. "Nothing and no one will ever come between us, ashayam. I lost my mother, my planet. I will not lose you."
"Spock, Star Fleet, it's what you've been working towards for years. It's your life…"
"Nyota, life changes priorities. It would be illogical to assume a thing or a place could be one's 'life'. You, my father, this I consider above all else. You, my t'hylia, you are my life. It is only logical."
She sighed and let herself lean closer into his embrace, a relieved smile upon her face. "I just love this Vulcan logic. It can be so romantic."