Summary: Post Day of the Moon. What may have been going through Rivers head after the Doctor left
Pairing: River/11th Doctor
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or plot lines within. Its Steve Moffats sand box I just play in it.
A/N: Yet another of my what the hell is going on in Rivers head pieces. What can I say I was watching Birds of Prey and it just came to me
She lay there on that cold, hard bed for hours after he left. Staring at the space where the TARDIS had been where he had escaped to after she had kissed him. The taste of him still on her lips, the feel of them so familiar and yet there was the same spark that electrical spark that was present the very first time. And it was, his first time that is. This by her calculation meant that the next time she met him in her time stream he would be even farther away that they were near enough at the beginning of their relationship for him at least and this caused a dull ache somewhere in the region of her heart.
Her silent and unmoving condition was starting to cause concern to the guard that came to deliver her dinner. She heard him on the phone, talking to his superiors about her return. She had heard him say that she looked as if the bottom had just fallen out of her world. She laughs inwardly at the accuracy of the statement. She knew this day had been coming. Had learned a long time ago to accept the fact that the closer she got to knowing him, the longer their relationship lasted the less he knew about her further he drifted away. She was seriously considering ignoring the next letter, phone call, signal, anything.
Somewhere around the fourth hour of lying there, when the only light filling her cell was the artificial glow of the strip light in the hallway she had convinced herself that the next time she escaped or left or needed help she wouldn't call on him. She had decided that enough was enough she had to stop putting herself in this position after all she knew all about the pain it would cause when he had no clue about what she was talking about, Jim the Fish and all that. No this was definitely an end to it.
That was until she felt something digging into her lower back. Of course her book, their history the stories she swore to Him, her Doctor that she would keep from him no matter how painful it was that she wouldn't let him find out. And that is when her resolve of broke, that is when she remembered why she put herself through all this pain and heartache. Why she kept going back. Because she loved him and this book it was their history, for better or worse it was their history and she would do her best to protect it to allow him to experience everything she already had and if that meant suffering the pain it inflicted then so be, she could carry that pain if it meant knowing their story continued.
So she finally stretched out her the sheets of her bed and allowed herself to reflect on her latest adventure with her Doctor. Just the good parts, the flirting, the quiet protecting of each other, the bittersweet and so she slept with the slightest smile on her face and her arm loosely wrapped around the one thing she prized above all else. Their history.