Spoilers/ Warnings: Non spoilers but a non-magical AU with a suggestions of slash

Note: This fic is a non-magical AU in which Sirius and Remus are the fathers of Teddy.

Note if you read my other fics: So sorry for the delay on both series but life has been...ugh. I'm trying to get them out as fast as possible but everything is too hectic right now and I'm not in the right state of mind stress-wise. So I offer this small drabble to tide you over. Wrote it a year or so ago and forgot about it until I found it recently. Thanks for the understanding.

In the St. Mungo's Hospital Clinic of greater London, Teddy Lupin-Black could be found, arms crossed, fuming on an exam table. Although he was fifteen, his fathers had refused to let him go in for a check up by himself. There was still a slight pink hue on Teddy's cheeks from when the two men had loudly announced they were going to follow him into the examination room despite objections- all in front of a rather cute girl that Teddy was trying to catch the eye of.

Well, he did catch her eye but not in the way he had intended...

He continued to sulk as he watched his fathers huddle together on the guest chairs, looking at an old interior design magazine. What really irked him about this whole trip was that after it was done, he still had to go back to school while his fathers had likely got the day off from their jobs and would go back home to shag (as much as the thought made him shudder, it was true). Out of boredom and the general need to annoy his fathers as much as possible, Teddy hopped off the table and paced around the room.

Sirius immediately started to twitch with urge to tell him to sit down and be patient but kept silent. Still fishing for a reaction, Teddy started to open up drawers and as he was reaching for an instrument of torture, Remus gave him a stern look leaving no room for argument. With an exaggerated sigh, Teddy went back to the examination table and before he could verbally complain, there was a knock on the door.

Dr. Nadia Filimun was a cheery plump woman who had been looking after Teddy since he was thirteen. So far, she had not reacted horribly towards Teddy's cheeky attitude and Sirius' nosey interference. Though, the latter had been most likely due to Remus' ever tightening hold on Sirius' leash since he had driven their last doctor to kick them out in a rain of tongue depressors.

"So Teddy, how have you been?" Dr. Filimun asked with a smile. Teddy answered with a shrug but she continued nonetheless, "So I'll just ask you a couple of quick questions before we actually begin." The questions were typical for a medical visit and Teddy didn't pay much attention until Dr. Filimun reached a rather new question.

"Now Teddy, as you're getting older, I need to ask. Have you been sexually active?"

Teddy risked a glance at his fathers' tense bodies before looking back at the doctor.


It took all his energy to not start laughing at the looks of panic on his fathers' faces. Sirius, who had held the magazine, dropped it to reveal a shellshocked, slack-jawed face. Remus wasn't any better and his finger was still in the air, pointing to what would have been an interesting colour scheme. They both looked out into the general direction of Teddy but didn't see him.

"Have you taken any STI tests? We offer free tests if you wouldn't mind doing it now. Though I suggest you take STI tests every six months now you're sexually active or every time you have a new sexual partner."

Revenge was sweet. While there would be a painfully awkward talk in the car about all the places his penis had been, it was so worth the look on his fathers' faces right now. Plus, they'd be too shocked to shag now when they got home, which always agitated Sirius to no end and that was simply an extra bonus.