Om nom nom


"Ronoveee~ I'm hungryyyy~"

"That would, indeed, be troubling- if it were not for the fact you are always hungry."

"No, I'm seriously serious! If you don't feed me I'm going to dieeee!"

"I am sorry to inform you that I remain unmoved by your plight, Miss Beelzebub. I am, after all, a demon. It is not in my place to sympathize. Pu ku ku~"

"Awww! You're so mean!"

"I'm merely doing it for your own benefit. You wouldn't want to become fat, would you? Image how traumatic that would be."

"Ronoveee! I'm not fat! Don't say things like that to a sexy girl like me~~"

"Pout all you like- but you do seem to be getting rather chubby…"

"No!"

"Yes. I do hear that 'look' is rather appealing to certain men, though~ Some people find it cute. You're… 'squishy'~ Pu ku ku~"

"No! No no no! I'm not fat! I'm not even squishy! Stop poking me! Stop it or I'll gouge your face!"

"My. You such have such captivating feminine charm. How could I not have noticed this before!"

"Just give me something to eat and I'll leave you alone! Please! Please please please!"

"The puppy dog eyes have no effect on me. It is a valiant effort, and I'd give you ten points for trying- but you'll need to try a different tactic. Quickly. Before I unleash Devil of Devils upon you."

"Okay! If… If…"

"If?"

"If I do something to prove how hungry I am, and how TOTALLY NON-LAUGHABLE my imminent death from starvation is, will you give me something to eat?"

"That depends on what you're going to do."

"If… If I eat a bonsai tree… Will you give me some food?"

"Why on earth would you want to eat a bonsai tree?"

"Because it's a test! Like a test of love! But this is a test of… hunger… or… something… I don't know! But I really feel I have to do it!"

"…Go ahead then. I won't stop you if you feel it will make you happy."

"Oh, IT WILL."

"Have fun then."

"OKAY."

Beelzebub summoned forth a small potted bonsai tree from a burst of golden butterflies. Then- giving the pleasantly-smiling Ronove a narrow-eyed look of determination that clearly read 'this is war'- Beelzebub held the bonsai tree to her mouth.

She paused, her red eyes flickering with indecision for a few brief moments as she surveyed the bonsai tree. It… didn't look so small of a sudden… W-was that a bug on one the branches?

…Ew.

Ronove's cooking never had greenflies crawling about it.

Was it really worth it?

B-but no! Beelzebub would not lose face! She said she was going to eat the bonsai tree, and nothing would stop her in her noble task! Not even Ronove with his stupid smile and comments about her weight- and she wasn't 'SQUISHY' anyway, so nyehhh!

Beelzebub pulled a face.

Then-

Very quickly-

Om nom nom nom

-she took a large, defiant bite out of the leafy green foliage.

She didn't know why, exactly, she did it- but at the time she felt she really, really needed to eat that tree.

Beelzebub learnt two things from that experience.

The first one was; no, the word 'bonsai' was not Japanese for 'small, delicious tree.'

The second thing was; Ronove wouldn't do a damn thing to help her in her hour of need, charming nature aside.

Instead, he'd only laugh at her.

…What a fucking asshole.


a/n: This was /totally/ based on the episode of the Inbetweeners from season 3, 'the Trip to Warwick', in which our ~lovely~ main character, Will… eats a bonsai tree… as a 'political statement'. It's one of the most hilarious things I have /ever/ watched on TV in my whole life XDDD
Beelzebub and Ronove are just very lovely characters who are fun to write, too XD

~renahhchen xoxo