From Pliny the Younger (Gaius Plinius Caecilius Secundus), to his wife, Calpurnia.

'You will not believe what a longing for you possesses me. The chief cause of this is my love; and then we have not grown used to be apart. So it comes to pass I lie awake a great part of the night, thinking of you; and that by day, when the hours return at which I was wont to visit you, my feet take me, as it is so truly said, to your chamber, but not finding you there I return, sick and sad at heart, like an excluded lover. The only time that is free from these torments is when I am being worn out at the bar, and in the suits of my friends. Judge you what must be my life when I find my repose in toil, my solace in wretchedness and anxiety. Farewell.'

Prologue

How do you define love?

To begin, there are two types of love. Delusional and true.

Delusional love is the love you have as a child or teenager, when you think you are in love, but you aren't. It's all an illusion, you get your heart broken and a couple of weeks later, you are fine again. This is the very common one, the one that most relationships are based on.

True love. This one is very rare; it's the one you only find in stories and Disney. Hardly ever in real life, though in some cases is I can be mistaken on this.

Another fact about love is that the words 'I love you' mean nothing these days, so many times I have walked the streets and heard the words 'I love you' being spoken to each other; only to walk by the same couple a week later...This is how it goes, I sit in my normal place by the window of the coffee shop and there is the couple sitting in the corner. One would have an intense look on their face and the other will be shaking so much, they won't pick up the coffee.

This reaction is usually caused by the most famous break-up starting line 'we need to talk'. That is when the anxiety picks up and the victim begins to think the hardest they have ever done in a whole lifetime! The questions would be, 'Are they breaking up with me?' 'Is there another person?' and of course the line 'What have I done?' That one is where it all picks up, the question that makes a whole lot of those people who jump off bridges and hang themselves, commit suicide.

Back to the coffee shop scenario, the predator will look their prey in the eyes, take their hands in their own and say whatever reason they have for doing the dirty work. So to my conclusion, that is love in the real world.

Let's talk about my 'love'. My love with Jake to be specific. Our love or rather his is delusional. You see, me and Jake were high-school sweethearts. We 'loved' each other, till a few weeks after we got married. It all disappeared when we started in the real world. It all came crashing down, but the difference between me and Jake is that I realised it and he is still living in a fantasy world.

No offense to Jake, I do love him dearly, but as my best friend, rather than my husband. He is always there for me and vice-versa and that will never change whatever happens.

Maybe it's wrong that I have let this marriage go on for 8 years but I just can't bring myself to tell him my feelings towards this.