A/N Hey all! Thanks for giving my story a chance! It's short. Like two or three chapters short. But still. :)

I don't own Twilight or NCIS or Criminal Minds, though I wish I did have Edward and Dr. Reid in spare bedroom. Sigh..

Wow, now I'm depressed.

Chapter 1- Call in the SWAT team!

"Forks Fire Department?" Dispatch answered.

"Please I need your help!" A destressed women responded.

"Alright, please take a breath and tell me whats wrong."

"I'm trapped in the bathroom, and I'm not alone! Please, I need you to hurry!"

"I have your coordanets right here ma'am and I'm sending someone out. What do you mean your not alone. Are you in danger? Do you or someone need medical attention?"

"Oh I need medical attention alright.." The woman muttered..

We were finally being sent out on a call. Not that this means it's anything good. I've been here for a month and the only thing we've been called out on are simple calls, you know- 'My cats stuck in the tree.' Boyfriend picture buring that gets out of hand. Kids smoking up in the woods.- Silly things. Not that I'm realy complaining. I left Seattle to get away from the hustle and bustle of it all. To much tragedy. But still, a man needs a little bit of action!

"Yo Ed man lets go! We got a Damsel stuck on the shitter!" Emmett yelled from the side of the truck. Laughing and shaking my head at him I jumped up to join him and Jasper up on old Ruby, our Fire truck.

"Alright, lets go then! We got us a call!" Ok, so maybe we've all been a little bored. But being a Firemen in a small town leaves much to be desired. Ten minutes later we got to 325 Oak Street. A small two story white house, with a wrap around porch and set back into the woods. We pulled in and situated the truck half in the yard half on the small gravel drive way. Hopefully Ms. Damsel wont mind.

Emmett, Jasper and I jumped from Ruby and looked at eachother. It was time.

"Rock," Jasper said.

"Paper," Emmett said.

"Sissors," I said.

"Shoot" We shouted before we almost beat each other with our fists to try to win. Emmett throws down rock and Jasper and I throw paper.

"YES!" Jasper and I yell, right as Emmetts yelling for a rematch. Yeah right, like thats gunna happen. So me and Jasper run to the door before Emmett realises whats going on and he can stop us, we knock twice, wait a couple seconds and hear a woman scream to come in. The door is locked so we do what all firemen do.. broke it down. Yeah, thats what we men do.

As soon as we walked threw the door we stopped for a second in the foyer. There were stairs going up to the right and to the left there was a hall leading to what looked to be a kitchen. Just then we herd the women squeel from upsairs so we took to them two at a time.

"Ma'am? This is Edward, with Forks Fire Department. We are here to help. Which door are you in?" I asked. Because it would figure that there were six doors in the hall up here and every single one was closed. Just our luck.

"Uh Uh, Holy Shit! EEK! Sorry sorry! Uh second door on your right! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.. Please hurry!" She pled hysterically. What the hell is going on in there? I looked and Jasper with a raised eyebrow and we made our way to the door. What awated us shocked us.

We walked to the door and I wrapped my hand around the door knob just to try it, even though I was possitive it was going to be locked and that was the problem. But maybe its just stuck. But it twisted just as easily as any other door. I looked at Jasper confused and then continued to open it but right as I started to push it open the women yelled out.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! Be careful! Don't open it so fast! Open it very slowly. And be careful! Please!" She stressed. So a little weireded out and thinking this is officially the oddist call I've ever gone on, and thats saying something, I do as she says. And opened the door.

I kinda poked my head around as I was opening the door, to you know be prepaird and to see what was going on, That's when I saw it. A women, with dripping wet brunette hair, huddled in the corner by the sink wearing nothing but a big T shirt and panties. She looked a mix of terified and relieved. But I couldn't understand what the problem was. That's when she spoke.

"Th th there.. on the door.. He traped me in! He's been watching me! Even while I was in the shower! A peeping tom can you believe it? oh my gosh! I was going to be kidnapped I just know it. He's writing a ransom note as we speak! Call Criminal Minds! We need Dr. Spencer Reid! This is serious!" Umm what? Holy shit! Did someone plant a webcam in the womans bathroom? We should call the Police Cheif. I start to close the door just a little bit, just in case whoever is watching her can see us so that way I can talk to Jasper. But the woman started screaming again.

"Wait! Please don't leave me in here with him! He's twitchy!" Again umm what?

"Don't worry ma'am, we arn't going any where, we are just getting some back up." I quietly explained to her.

"Oh! That's a great idea! We can use all the man power we can get! I called my mom and I tried to get her to call SWAT but it was a no go. She told me to call you, next best thing. No offense." She explained.

"Oh, uh none taken. I'll take next best thing to SWAT. Now we'll be right outside the door, I just have to talk to Jasper here." I explained as Jasper poked his head in and finger waved to her. I laughed and then we hid behind the door.

"What do you make of it? Could their be a webcam on the back of the door? I mean, I can't think of anything else." I asked him.

"Yeah that's the best I can think of. Thank God for all of those detective books and shows you watch huh? I mean this is so out of our league! We are Firemen. Not detectives. I put out fires, not hunt people down. What the hell are we supposed to do?" He asked clearly flustered.

"Well, we can't just leave her in there. So lets go get her! What I don't get is why she didn't come out on her own. I guess she just got so scared she couldn't move. But man. Leave right? Why would you want this guy to keep watching you? And this is FORKS! Who would do this? I left Seattle for a reason man. I feel bad for her. Lets go get her." I said turning for the door.

"Wait! You want to go in there where he can see us? Seriously? No thankyou. We don't know who this guy is. He could be a cannible for all we know, and I for one do not want to be eaten!" He exlaimed with wide eyes. It was comical actually. But I was proud of my self. I didn't make fun of him.. Kinda..

"Jay.. Seriously. You will run into a buring building but you wont go help a girl in need? Get a grip! It's our job!"

"It's not our job! This is poice buisness now! Oh! I got it.." Then he pulled out his walkie and called out.. "Hey Em we need your assistance in here.. NOW! We're upstairs." Threw the walkie Emmett answered "YES! I'm on my way!" I looked at him in complete disbelief.

Shaking my head.. "SERIOUSLY? What the hell is the matter with you? I cannot wait to tell your wife!" At this he paled, as he very well should have."I'm going to go in there, unlike you, I still have a pair. You need a desk job. Or maybe you should be come a history professor, you could wear tweed."

"Hey! What the fuck man?"

"So whats going on that you need my muscle power for?" Emmett asked.

I looked at Jasper then looked at Emmett, "I think there is a webcam on the other side of this door. She's been trapped in there for who knows how long, and she's terrified. From what I can guess she found it while she was in the shower? She feels trapped by it. So I'm going to go in and get her. Jasper was to SCARED to go in. He's AFRAID that it's Hannibal Lecter on the other side and he'll ge eaten." I rolled my eyes at Emmett while he snorted a laugh. "Yeah, I know. So I'm going to go in there, and peek at the webcam while I get her. I'm actually really glad that Jasper called you because you are way more computer savvy than we are. Yes I just said 'savvy." They laughed at me. Jerks. "So after I'm all the way in you come in, it's small in there so make sure we can get out, and try not to get directly in front of the camera. I don't want whoever it is do get a direct shot of you. And see if maybe you can get make and model. And if you think we can back trace it or whatever. You know that shit. Alright?" I asked.

They just stood there and looked at me like I was crazy. "Who are you?" Emmett asked me in a dazed whisper.

I laughed "You can call me Special Agent Gibbs. Now are you ready? Jasper, you stay here and practice peeing yourself. Obviously that's what your good at."

"Burn!" Emmett yelled while laughing.

"Alright, lets go." I chuckled out. So I walked to the door again and slowly opened it and peeked around. The women was still in the same spot, eyes glued to the door shaking like crazy. I smiled at her to hopefully calm her down and said "Hey, I'm gunna get you out of here while my friend takes care of your problem OK?"

"Yeah, OK. I hope it's not Jasper, no offense, because he's not a buff as you, and we need a lot of man power in here!" She replied.

I tried really hard not to laugh, and I could hear Emmett laughing behind me and Jasper hitting him. I loved this women! For real. "Oh don't worry, only the best for you. And the man coming in here is bigger than me."

"Good good, I'm Bella by the way. In case we die, I figure we might as well be on a first name bases." Bella said.

I laughed "And you know I'm Edward. Well, lets get going shall we? I'm going to come in to you, then my friend is going to come in to get a look at it alright?"

"Ok." She nodded for good measure.

So I slowly pushed open the door just far enough for me to walk in, and I slowly made my way in with Emmett literally right on my heels, so much for waiting. We both turned to look at the door at the same time..

"What the.." I'm honestly not sure who said it at this point..

"I know! Huge right? Be careful!" She said.

"Is that.." Emmett started.

"A spider."


Weirdest. Day. Ever.

So? Waddaya think? This part was hard for me. Next chapter should be fun. Bella's POV from before she saw the horrid spider. Though it'll be hard for me to make you realize how hard she's suposed to be shaking- or perhaps constant tremors is the proper word?- the whole time. Either way that'll be fun! Hopefully you'll laugh as hard as I did. :)

I'll try and have the next chapter up tomorrow.

Thanks guys!