When Batman asked me in the morning weather I still wanted to go to the Watchtower that day, my answer was of course yes although he seemed to hope it would be a no. Reluctantly, he loaded me into the bat space ship and off we went, me squealing excitedly all the way.
Batman needn't have bothered worrying about me getting assaulted again. The news had traveled quickly that Batman packed not only baterangs and bat smoke pellets in his arsenal, but a small, brightly colored child as well. They were all gazing at me interestedly as I pranced at his heels, so I did what came natural to me, I stuck my tongue out at them as I passed by.
The girls all giggled at me and the men sort of just looked depressed because everyone knows having a small child with you is a huge bonus with women and with all Batman already had, I am proud to say I was just icing on the cake (I love men with little kids, its sooooo hot. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!).
Batman led me down to a different room this time, one full of strange devices on tables. He sat down and started to work on something. Now that I had eased up a bit, I brought with me a bag full of various entertaining things to do so I pulled out a few cars and began to play.
I was just about to pick up a blue car from my right side when it was snatched out of my reach.
"Hey", I snapped, looking around to find the offending car thief. When I glanced up, I saw the Flash looking down at me, grinning manically.
"Hey Kiddo", he said.
"Hi", I said excitedly, jumping up to hug him. Batman looked mildly over at the two of us and then returned to his work.
"Can I play cars with you?" Flash asked.
"Sure", I said, "but I get to be the blue car. Every time I play with Batman, he always takes the blue car."
"Ohh, he does, hmm, well, no one likes a car hog, bats."
"If I hear another word out of you Flash…"
"Ok, ok, I get it." Flash grumbled quietly about Batman under his breath and then started to zoom my car around, making not so realistic car noises.
"Batman's are better", I said, folding my arms.
"Ohh", said Flash, acting affronted, "well, I'm sorry I'm not a car noise expert. I'm better with airplanes." He picked up my car and started to fly it around.
"No", I whined, "cars don't fly silly."
"This one does", he replied, "it's a special super awesome flying car."
"Well", I said, "I'm going to take my car to the car area."
"Ohh", said Flash, "Where's that?"
"Batman", I replied, and rushed my car over to him. I clambered up onto his lap and started to drive my car over his chest.
"See", I said, "vroom." Batman gave me a withering look, but suffered through the indignity of being a child's toy without complaint.
"Ohh", said Flash, "I'm gona use Batman's back."
"Don't even think about it", Batman snapped, "I have one child driving a car over me. I don't need two."
"Aww", I said, "come on Batman, won't you let him. We wanna race." Batman gave an enormous sigh.
"For you", he said to me sadly, like I was sending him to slaughter or something.
"Yea", Flash cried and raced over, driving my car over Batman's muscular back. "This is the coolest thing I have ever done in my entire life", Flash exclaimed. "Hey Batman, after this, can I have a piggy back ride."
"Don't push your luck twinkle toes", Batman growled.
"Hey Batman", I said, "stretch out your legs so we can use them as a race track."
Batman rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever." Flash raced over.
"I call the right leg", he said.
"Ok", I replied, positioning my car just below Batman's utility belt on his left side. Flash did the same on his right and immediately started giggling madly but a snarl from Batman made him stifle it. "Ready, set, go", I cried. I released my car and let it zoom down Batman's calf, over his foot, and slap the corner of the room. Flash's car wobbled for a moment and toppled in between Batman's legs.
"Aww", Flash said, "I lost. Well, I'll just get that."
"Don't even think about it", Batman said. Flash started snickering even more as Batman fished the car out from between his legs and handed it to Flash. "When Robin leaves", he hissed to Flash so I could barely hear, "you're a dead man."
"That's not very nice Batman", Flash pouted, "I'm only a small child after all. Just innocently playing with my racecars." Batman gave him one of the most terrifying scowls I have ever seen and Flash backed off, looking genuinely frightened.
"Hey Robin", he said, "why don't we go play cars over in this corner."
"No", I moaned, "Batman's more fun. Hey Batman, will you lie down on the ground so we have a better track."
"Not today Robin", Batman said, "I have work to do."
"Aww", I begged, "please, you can work on the ground, We won't bother you. Me and Flash really want to use you as a racetrack."
"Use Flash as a racetrack", Batman said, "his pathetic, skinny little body should make for a perfect challenge for your car."
"Hey", Flash said, "come on, just because I don't do three hundred pushups a day like you doesn't mean I don't have any muscles."
"Actually", I said, "he does more then that. But he's right, I'll use you instead."
"Actually", Flash said, "I think I have some things I need to be doing."
"Get on the ground now and let my child use you as a race track or I will pull off your ears and feed them to the bats in my cave."
"But Batman", I said, "they like hands more. Remember when you fed them that murder's hands. They really liked that."
"Your right", Batman said, "I'll take your hands instead." Flash looked uncertainly at him for a moment, as if he didn't quite believe Batman would do it. "Now", Batman ordered.
"Ok", said Flash, "do you want a straight course or a curved one?"
"Yea", I said excitedly.
Flash made an excellent track and I played on him for a while as Batman worked. He was pretty good at playing, for a grownup. Not as good as Batman, but still good. He was giving me a bouncy piggy back ride around the room when we heard the door open.
Flash stopped so suddenly, I almost toppled over his head. "Superman", he said, what's up? I looked over to see Superman in the doorway and my mouth fell open with shock. I had seen him once before when he had come to the manor and threatened Bruce, but that was so long ago, I had barely remembered how big he was. He looked even more impressive without wearing those dorky glasses.
Batman's head had snapped up as soon as Superman had come in and he was now staring at him darkly. "Batman", he said, "we need to talk. Flash, isn't there something you need to be doing."
"No", Flash said, "just playing with squirt here." Superman raised an eyebrow.
"Ok", Flash said, "obviously there is something I should be doing. I'll go figure out what that is now." He put me down, patted my head, and rushed out at top speed. It seemed he did nothing slowly. I stared at Superman and then looked at Batman. Batman was gazing so coldly at Superman, I was surprised he didn't freeze.
"Maybe you should send the boy back to your ship", Superman said, "No point in him having to listen to us." As if in pure defiance, Batman beckoned for me.
"Come here Robin", he said, and I went to him. He picked me up and put me on his lap. Then, he started to stroke me gently and methodically, like someone might pet a puppy in their lap if they were nervous. I was immediately apprehensive if Batman was on edge and leaned up against his chest, gazing at Superman. He couldn't hold my gaze, unwavering that it was.
"Bruce, I really think you should send the boy away." Batman stared at him until he broke that gaze too.
"Robin's staying right where he belongs", Batman said, running a thumb across my cheek. The way he said it made me think he was referring to more then just his lap.
"At least take off your cowl", Superman said, sounding exasperated.
"Are you going to put on those lame ass glasses of yours?" Batman replied coolly. Superman gave an enormous sigh. I probably should have told him that no one beats Batman in an argument.
"Fine", Superman growled, "have it your way. Let the boy hear what I have to say to you. Batman, you're way out of line bringing him here. You were way out of line even adopting him. He's a child, not something to amuse you." Batman's eyes flashed and I could feel his grip tightening around me. I put my hand on his chest to tell him to ease up at bit. He did.
"Are you insinuating," Batman asked softly, "that I adopted him as a plaything?"
"Come on Bruce, everyone's talking about it."
"Because Superman listens to gossip now, does he?" Superman scowled.
"Tell me I'm wrong Bruce, look me in the eyes and tell me I'm wrong"
"You're wrong", Batman said, looking him in the eyes, "you always have been wrong and you always will be wrong. Are we done here?"
"No Bruce", Superman snapped, "we're not. Fine, I'll admit, it would be a little out of character for you to pull a stunt like that so your motives for actually taking him in aside, I won't let you put him in harms way by dragging him into your little crusade." I wanted to speak up angrily, to tell Superman that Batman hadn't dragged me anywhere and that I went willingly everywhere he did, but I didn't. I stayed quiet. I knew Batman would rather he fought his own battles.
"You are in no position to stop me from doing whatever I want. Robin is my business. What he and I do in our free time is no concern of yours."
"Bruce, can't you see how stupid you're being", Superman said, "he looks only like seven."
"Nine", I said indignantly, speaking up for the first time.
"Sorry", Superman said, "nine, still too young to be gallivanting around the city after maniacs and criminals. You don't need him to fight crime either, don't even try to give me that. He probably just sits on the sidelines, maybe tripping some guy once or twice. You're taking an untrained child into a world that you yourself will admit takes lives on a regular basis."
"Robin", Batman suddenly said in his snapping, commanding voice, the one he usually uses on patrol.
"Yes", I asked, looking up at him.
"Show me that new move we were working on yesterday."
"Yes sir", I said. I hopped off his lap and stretched a little. I never called him sir, but I decided it would look more impressive if I did today. On patrol, he was usually boss because it was shorter then Batman but also shorter then Bruce, which I might have slipped up and said.
After I had stretched a little, I raced towards the wall and without stopping, danced agilely up it, pushed off, spun in midair and landed neatly on my feet. Superman was looking at me surprised. He was obviously impressed at what I could do.
"Good boy", Batman said, now show him some more. I was thrilled at a chance to show off to someone so I preformed move after move, all the ones Batman had taught me, some I learned at the circus, and a few I thought up on the spur of the moment. "Now", Batman said after I was done, "fight me."
"Batman", Superman said unhappily, "come now. Sure he can do a few fancy tricks, I'll admit, really good ones, but do you really think he's up to your standard? I'm telling you right now, I'm not going to sit here and watch you hurt that child."
"What do you think Robin", Batman asked, "would you like to spar?"
"Yes", I said eagerly. Any chance I got to spar with Batman promised to be loads of fun. Batman moved back a few tables and chairs until we had a large area. Then, he charged me. I flipped lightly away and came back, leaping at him and kicking him in a backward thrust as I rushed off. Batman toppled. Superman was instantly shocked. Batman rolled in recovery and then came at me again.
As we preformed, a few heroes started to trickled in, obviously having heard from the Flash that Superman had come to chew Batman out. Seeing us sparing and leaping around the room almost like we were dancing, they stopped, sat down and watched. More and more crowded in to watch him and I as we twisted and turned through the air.
We fought for I don't know how long but I was drenched in sweat and getting tired. I had performed all my moves before and though Batman had trained me to have superior stamina, I almost never had to fight anyone that was Batman's caliber. He could sense I was tiring and so he called for a halt.
We stood in front of each other panting. People were clapping and hooting and Superman looked fairly shocked. Batman gave him a smug smile and looked back at me. "Let's finish this", his eyes said. I nodded.
"Robin", he said. I snapped to attention and everyone in the room looked up instantly, despite the fact that he had spoken somewhat softly and out of breath. "Show him your last move, the one I could never accomplish." I nodded, gathered the energy I had left, and flew at him.
Though he prepared to counter, he went down beneath me and I had him on the ground, straddling his chest. The other heroes went wild and it seemed Batman noticed them for the first time. "Good boy", he breathed, thoroughly out of breath now, "good boy." He got up and stretched after I clambered off him.
"That was amazing", a guy dressed in green said, coming up, "I didn't know the kid had that much talent. After he got bested by Dorado and Vulcan, I guess I just figured otherwise." Batman nodded.
"He's got more in him then most people think Arrow", he replied. Then, he looked coldly at Superman. "Come on Robin", Batman said, "time to go." I nodded and started to get my stuff together. Everyone was talking excitedly about us I glowed with pleasure. Not since the circus had a crowd watched me perform and it felt really good to have people talking about me again.
I followed him down the hallway and back to the Batship. I wanted him to tell me I had done well, that he was proud of me, but he didn't. I was a little disappointed until we got in the ship. Then, he grabbed me.
"Ohh you're such a good boy Dickie", he said exuberantly, pulling me up onto his lap and giving me a cuddle, "we showed him good didn't we?" He looked so happy, it made me feel really happy too. "I'm so proud of you", he said, squeezing me tightly. "You are so talented and so perfect, so wonderful" I had never seen him so happy in my life, so this was a really big surprise to me. He kissed my forehead and ruffled my hair happily. "Some of those moves I had never seen before."
"Did you like them", I asked.
"Like them", he asked incredulously, "they were amazing, you're amazing."
"So you're proud of me", I asked excitedly.
"Ohh yes Dickie", he said, "I am so proud of you. Ohh, I love you so much. We certainly showed that pompous windbag what's what, huh. I'll bet he never trained anyone as talented as you. He probably can't even tie his own shoes. Stupid wose." He looked back over at me and beamed.
"Alright Dickie", he said, "first we're going to go home and shower and then we can go to the park and play some football and we'll go get gigantic ice creams and run around the city for a couple of hours, what do you say?" I bounced up and down in my seat excitedly.
"Really", I asked, "you don't have to work?"
"I'm not going to work today, not anymore", Batman said.
"And I don't have to train?"
"Nope", Batman said, "we'll just go run around all day and have fun, ok?"
"Yea", I said.
"And tonight, we can round up a couple of your friends and go to that nasty place you wanted to go to with the giant rat and eat pizza that tastes like cardboard?"
"You mean Chuckie Cheese?" I asked excitedly.
"Yea", he said, "that horrible germ infested place. And I'll buy you guys a whole shit load of tokens and you can just go all out."
"Yea", I cried, "Ohh Bruce, I love you so much." He put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close.
"I love you too kiddo", he murmured softly, but fiercely, like he really meant it, "I love you so much." At that moment, I could have been the happiest kid in the whole universe.