Title: Illogical

Author: AngelTalion

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its fandom. I am not making any money off of this fiction. This story in no way represents canon.

Summary: Shikamaru has a theory about Neji.

WARNINGS: Yaoi; NO SEX; Drabble

A/N: Another little drabble that was running around in my head after reading some REBOOT fic and watching some old school Trek with the hubby.


"Neji is a Vulcan." Shikamaru announced to the sky he was looking up at. Kiba and Naruto looked at one another blinking and Choji began choking on his chips.

"What?" Naruto frowned screwing his face up.

"Yeah Shikamaru, what the hell are you talking about?" Kiba leaned over looking at the Nara's face obscuring his view of the fluffy white clouds.

"From that American show, the skinny guy with pointy ears and shiny make up?" Kiba and Naruto nodded in unison when the lazy genius turned to look at them. "He's called a Vulcan."

"No shit Sherlock, what the fuck are you talking about Neji's a Vulcan for?" Naruto wondered if Shikamaru hadn't taken a kick to the head from Lee recently.

Sighing exaggeratedly at having to explain himself, Shikamaru wished suddenly he'd kept his revelation to himself. "I was thinking." These words caused groans from each of the men around him but he continued. "He's tall, completely controlled, dark hair, pale skin and deadly in an unsuspecting sort of way."

"Ok but by that description Sasuke's a Vulcan too and trust me he bleeds red just like the rest of us." Naruto rolled his eyes and punched Kiba's shoulder when the brunette snickered.

"Oh yeah but what about his other fluids?" Kiba laughed then winced when he was hit even harder.

Naruto scowled. "Shut it you Pound Hound. At least I'm getting laid." The blond and dog nin were now glaring at one another. Shikamaru spoke louder to gain their attention.

"Sasuke loses his cool too easily. He's pretty much ruled by his emotions, Neji isn't. He's got that eerie sort of calm even when he's fighting. And Spock never gets laid. We ALL know Sasuke's getting it all the time cause you are a slut… and we've never heard even rumors about Neji so much as being interested in another person." He was obviously winning his friends over to his way of thinking just by the looks on their faces.

"I don't know Shikamaru, don't those Vulcan guys have pointy ears?" Choji frowned popping another chip into his mouth.

Sitting up Shikamaru pointed at Choji, "See that's the thing, have any of you ever SEEN Neji's ears?" He got blank stares and nodded. "Exactly. As a kid the bit that would have been pointy was hidden by that hair of his and NOW it completely covers his ears all the time."

"Wow. Neji's a Vulcan. That is cool." Naruto whispered slightly shocked.

Kiba shook his head in awe. "Man I bet he never expected anyone to figure it out but it explains all that stuff Hyuuga can do and his special palm techniques. Don't those guys have weird meld points and special hand grips that incapacitate another person?" When Shikamaru nodded he got another round of 'Wow's' from his friends.


Shikamaru was walking home after his afternoon with his friends when he felt himself pulled into an alley and slammed into a building wall. He couldn't help the fleeting thought that whoever had done this wasn't particularly smart. Who attacked a shadow manipulator in a shadowy alley? He let an annoyed sigh out but before he could say anything or perform his jutsu a mouth descended on his. It was hot, burning hot and sweet in a way he'd never experienced. He felt a hard body pressed tight into his and a very male arousal nestled against the flat of his stomach. When the kiss ended he blinked his eyes open and gasped. Milky white eyes looked down into his own.

"Your theory is completely illogical." Neji murmured.

Swallowing Shikamaru colored when he squeaked. "Why's that?"

"Vulcan's do not have white eyes and I have had sexual partners but am currently interested in someone so I have been abstaining." Neji responded looking over Shikamaru's placid face for signs of understanding.

"Oh. Yeah." It wasn't the smartest thing he could have said but he was having a hard time thinking because of all the blood that had traveled below his waist. Finally his brain caught up and his lips quirked. "Prove it."

"And how would I do that?" Neji raised a brow.

"You could show me your ears." Shikamaru's hands moved from where he hadn't realized he'd rested them to Neji's hair pushing the thick silky mane back and caressing the shell of the perfectly formed, human ears. Shika moaned when the Hyuuga surged forward and shivered.

"I keep them covered because they are sensitive." Neji informed the Nara. When Shikamaru nodded he was panting. "Do you need further proof to convince you of my humanity?"

"You've got more proof?" He looked up in surprise at Neji's words.

"I could take you back to my bed and prove my humanity if it were required." A devilish smirk formed on soft pink lips.

"Yeah, ok!" Shikamaru scrambled to follow when Neji moved away.

Neji gave him a sideways glance as they left the ally. "Though I do have a new grip I think you'd be interested in seeing in practice." The Hyuuga gave a self satisfied smirk as Shikamaru flushed a very attractive shade of pink.