Note: I was flipping through the challenges and saw one about writing a "Dear John" letter. While this isn't exactly a traditional "Dear John" letter, it was inspired by that challenge. Might just be a one-shot, or I might come back to it and add a chapter on Newkirk's reaction to the letter. Anyways, let me know what you think!
If this letter is coming as a surprise to you, I really don't know why because I'm sure that you have already received hundreds of them. I cannot believe that you had the nerve to go and get yourself captured so that I can't have the pleasure of placing you in a jail cell myself.
Of course, you being you, getting captured was probably a self-preservation tactic to stay away from the angry mob of scorned women. And again, you being you, you are not intimidated but are now thinking yourself rather special for having stirred up all this trouble. You were always such a flirt; I don't know why I didn't suspect this all along.
In fact, you may just be the biggest flirt and womanizer on the face of the earth. I have met with no fewer than 10 women who all believe that you are coming home to them. And God only knows how many there are out there that I haven't spoken with! After all, London's a big city, and who's to say that you haven't made at pass at every woman in it at least once!
At first I thought, how could it even be possible that I would meet one of your "sweethearts" in a city this large? Then I realized that all of them were your sweethearts to some degree! I met the first one down in the Tubes during an air raid, telling everyone around her that if "my Peter" were here, the Krauts would all go home with their tails between their legs, scared stiff. Then the waitress at the Red Lion asked me what I thought life was like for a prisoner of war. When I asked her why she was thinking of it, she told me that her "darling Peter" was trapped in a POW camp, desperately attempting to dig his way back to her!
And don't think that I only met the disillusioned ones. I met the ones who know you have your fair share of vices to! One was a nurse who claimed that you would repeatedly fake illnesses and injuries to see her in the hospital. She said that you finally took her to the cinema, only to spend the entire film making a pass at the girl in front of you!
Count yourself lucky that I am running out of paper, because I could go on. There seems to be no end to the line of girls that you have been with at some point or another. And you can rest assured that you will not be seeing me again. I recently met a kind, respectable, handsome young sergeant who treats a woman right!
I hope that prison life treats you as it should.