Disclaimer: I own nothing. Every thing belongs to J.K Rowling.

A/N: So, I'm trying an unconventional way of writing. In my head, this would make a great movie...

Italics = television/radio broadcast, journal entries, etc.

'blah'= thoughts

Fun Fact: This was inspired by True Romance (starring Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette) and Get Him To The Greek (starring Russell Brand and Jonah Hill). Both are pretty good movies, I recommend them.



So Devious


Hogs' County Local News – 12:33 pm.

This breaking news, a patient was kidnapped from Smiling Faces Rehabilitation Center early this morning. After a recent power outage, personnel of the rehab center did a head count of all patients and came one short. Draco Malfoy, world-famous model and son of business moguls Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, was taken by an unknown assailant during the confusion, and the two exited through the front door, the electronic locking system having been disabled. Although there are no suspects as to who the kidnapper is, and though Mister Malfoy is not considered dangerous, he has been described to us as "maladjusted and emotionally disturbed", and it advised that the two be approached with caution. The Malfoy family is offering a one-million pound reward for his safe return. Please call 321-555-7583 with any details. HCLN will keep you posted with any updates as to Mister Malfoy's whereabouts.

"So...what are we going to do?" Harry asked. For the first time in his life, he was actually terrified for his life. He felt that, at any moment, his life could be cut short by a flying bullet, and he would never see it coming.

"I...I don't really know, mate. We just gotta try to raise the money somehow..." Ron replied. The redhead kept his eyes on the road ahead of him, but Harry could tell by the tone of his voice that he was just as scared.

He and Ron had been friends since primary school, damn near inseparable, so it was only natural that when one started getting into trouble, dabbling in a little bit of drug dealing for a quick pound, that the other would follow. What harm could it do, right?

"Maybe Hermione could help us out?"

"I don't think so. I don't even want her to know we're in this mess." Ron shook his head, distressed by the very thought. "She doesn't need the stress. It's hard enough trying to get her to try to relax as it is."

It still didn't quite sink in that Ron was starting to get serious with someone, especially someone who was so far on the economical ladder as them. Hermione Granger, or rather, Hermione Weasley, as she would be soon enough, was a classic beauty they had met they're freshman year of high school. Beautiful chestnut brown curls, big brown eyes and a decent body, wickedly bright, and rich as all-get-out. Someone Harry would never expect to hang out with two poor blokes like themselves, let alone for for Ron. But, she did, and she was even carrying a little Weasley their own. Soon enough, Ron would move out and get a nice little two bedroom flat where he and Hermione would raise the little ball of freckles and be a happy little family. Assuming Harry and Ron could get out of this mess alive.

Harry shrugged. Hermione was their go-to girl whenever they needed out of a scrape, dropping a few hundred here or there to bail them out of lock-up, because that's what you do when you love someone. Harry, however, understood that Hermione would fret herself silly if she knew drug dealers were out for her fiance's blood, and it'd be the death of baby Weasley. Not to mention the wreck she'd be if the bastards actually caught up with them. Ron had to hide it, because that was also what you do when you love someone, if you love them enough.

"Did you hear about that reward for that Malfoy bloke?" Ron commented casually, dying to change the subject.

"I heard about the one-mil his parents were paying for him. Where d'you they took him?"

"If they're smart they took him out of the city, or maybe even the country."

That was when Harry spotted him. Now, if you asked him today, he still couldn't tell you how he knew it was him; maybe it was the platinum blond hair, piled beneath a black baseball cap, or that slender pale figure wrapped not-so-neatly in a black dress shirt and ripped denim shorts. But something, something, told him that it was the model-in-question.

"Oi, who you starin' at?" Ron asked, casting a concerned glance at his friend, who was practically staring down a gorgeous blond walking down Hanley Ave.

"Ron, pull up a little, but keep it slow."

"Mate what are you doin'?" The redhead was starting to get seriously worried as Harry looked back at him with this wild glint in his eyes, Ron's clue that he was up to something.

"Ron, I think that's that model. That Malfoy kid."

"Just walkin' 'round? Where's the guy who kidnapped him?"

"Who gives a shit? His parents are handing out one million pounds to whoever turns him in. Hell, if we play our cards right, we might even get more than that!" Ron thought hard about it, although the idea was steadily growing on him. "Hell, its their son. We could ask for ten million if we want, five for you, five for me. We split that, pay off the goons, never hear another peep out of them again. We'll be golden, Ron!"

"Fine, fine...Harry, I've never kidnapped anyone before...how do you even know it's him?"

"Ron, trust me. Just pull up a little, stop the car, and just follow my lead." The redhead sighed as he pulled up, cautiously watching the blond walking by with his head held high. He practically oozed confidence in that strut of his, like a goddamn peacock.

"Alright, hit the breaks!" Harry whispered harshly, the dark blue Cadillac screeching to a halt before the brunet jumped out.

"Oh my God, we've been looking all over for you!" Harry cried, thanking God for that stupid drama class in high school. He plastered on a mock look of concern as he took Draco by the arm and pulled back to the car.

"Hey-" The blond tried to protest, though quietly, but Harry quickly cut him off.

"Mum's been worried sick, you know her poor heart! We told you not to take off like that anymore, you'll kill her!" The brunet pulled Draco in close, his lips almost grazing the shell of his ear. "Just be quiet, and get in the car. If you scream, we'll kill you..."

It was like a scene from a movie; the suave thief stealing away the beautiful maiden, holding her captive. It thrilled Draco to no end, is he were honest. Perhaps that's why his parents locked him away. They told him, gently of course, about their decision to send him to Smiling Face, shithole that it was. Told him that he needed help, needed to be...properly balanced before he could be a respected celebrity as well as a respectable father.

Frankly, he wasn't the least bit concerned about the uproar his absence from that farce of a treatment facility. Up at the crack of dawn, going to group therapy, being fed pill after pill, all just to tell him what he already knew. He was slightly crazy, desensitized to the negativity around him, but not dangerously so. He liked to call it...delightfully off. As far as he was concerned, his parents deserve the trouble, worrying themselves after what they'd done, after they took him away from his son and threw him into Smiling Faces.

What he hadn't thought through was where he'd go after he left that place. He needed to be somewhere he couldn't be tracked, so that ruled out hotels and the like; his parents would trace the charges on his credit card, and even if they didn't, someone would be bound to recognize him and turn him in for a quick pound.

He could always go to his...what, boyfriend? Lover? Whatever he was, he was out as well. Their relationship was too rocky for him to stay full time, not to mention he hated kids, so where did that leave little Scorpius? They were a package deal after all. Then there was Pansy, but with all the sex going on at that place, he and his baby would never manage there for long.

That's when...whoever he was came along, his Aladdin, his handsome thief, yelling something about 'Mum's heart' and running off before throwing him in the back of the car and speeding off, not even looking back to see if anyone witnessed the exchange. It was sexy in a criminally deranged way.

"Where are we going?" Draco chirped, sitting on the edge of the back seat and leaning against the front seats. He removed the black ball cap he swiped to hide his hair and shook out his locks, admiring in the rear-view how they fell over his eyes in that just-been-shagged way. He replaced the cap with a pair of silver aviator sunglasses, also stolen, propped up above his forehead.

"Sit back back and shut up!" The redhead driving snapped, and Draco complied without even thinking. The was another pregnant silence before the blond reclaimed his place, leaning into the front seat and facing the sexy brunet. He really had amazing eyes – green as envy itself.

"So, who are you boys? Fans? I could have just signed an autograph, I hear those go for a lot on eBay."

"Yeah, but you're body's worth even more." the redhead replied shortly, and Draco shot him a scandalized look.

"Look, I don't know what you've heard but I'm not a hooker, nor do I plan to become one."

"Will you shut up!" Green-eyed Aladdin, or so he became in Draco's head, snapped. "We're taking you back to our place, your gonna call you're parents, get us our money, and this mess will be over."

Shit! He had to think quick. Draco was anything but unrealistic, and he hardly believed that the two would keep him for themselves, but whatever they did, he couldn't let them send him back. But he couldn't exactly let them dump him back on the streets with no place to go, either. He had to think of something quick. In the meantime, however, he'd let them take him where they would. He'd figure out someway to throw a wrench in their plan, after he settled down someplace.

"So you never told me who you blokes are?"

"You don't need our names-"

"Oi, Harry, what's for dinner?" the redhead cut in, and Draco smirked at the irritated eye-roll he caught in the rear-view mirror.

"I don't know, Ron." the brunet replied, obviously exasperated.

"Well, Harry...I like Chinese." the blond smirked, sliding the silver aviator sunglasses over his mercury eyes.

A/N: Meh, I'm hoping its a decent start. I have a lot of exciting ideas for this. Please read and review!