Title: Nothing Takes the Taste Out of Peanut Butter
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: Unrequited Adam/Nick
Notes: Written for a comment_fic prompt by ravenspear, over on LJ.
Summary: It just fucking figures, that when Adam finally falls in love, it's with a guy still desperately in love with his dead wife.

Title is from a Charlie Brown quote: "Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter like unrequited love.


He doesn't know who to thank, Michael, Lucifer, maybe even God, but Adam is glad to be in the peaceful fields of Purgatory instead of that small, dark prison in Hell. It's not in Heaven with his mother, but it beats having his body consumed by Michael's grace as he stews in Hellfire and the cries of the damned. He's even got company in the form of the idiot that Lucifer tricked into saying yes.

Not that the guy is much of a conversationalist. Nick spends most of his time staring at the silver band on his finger, muttering about his wife Sarah and how sorry he is. Adam amuses himself with pulling leaves off of a low hanging branch on the only tree visible for miles, and watching them grow back slowly in the order they were pulled. The leaves he's pulled never decay, so he has a pretty good pile going that he takes running jumps into.

It's around the time he's making his fourteenth pile of leaves that Nick finally looks at something other than his wedding ring. "Sarah and I used to jump into leaf piles when we were teens. I landed on the rake, once, and cut my leg up. I needed twenty stitches. I still have the scar."

Jesus Christ. Adam wishes Nick would go back to staring at his ring. The silence was better than hearing about some dead chick.

"When I first met Sarah, she had nerdy glasses on, and I pushed her into the mud. She cried and said I was a butthead. My mother found out and made me apologize to her. Sarah threw her doll at me and wouldn't talk to me for a week."

"Some kid put gum in Sarah's hair when we were in middle school and she had to cut her hair really short to get it out. I ended up in detention after I knocked the kid out during recess."

"Sarah was the first girl I took cruising in my car after I got my license. She ended up getting car sick and puked all over the seat. I told my dad I did it and he grounded me for a month."

"I proposed to Sarah on her birthday. She cried so hard I was afraid it was because she hated the idea of being married to me, but she told me she'd been waiting for me to ask her since we graduated."

"Seeing Sarah hold our child for the first time was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I cried like a little girl and her mother made fun of me."

Adam doesn't bother pretending to listen. Nick is in his own little world, unseeing of even the large green leaf he waves in front of his face sometime between hearing about NicknSarah's first time together and the time when Nick got the flu from Sarah. He's made a total of twenty leaf piles when nick finally shuts up.

But the silence that Adam has been praying for feels oppressive now. There isn't any wind, so not even the sound of rustling leaves can be a distraction. Finally, he's had all he can take of the silence and starts to talk.

"Mom and I got eaten by ghouls a few years ago. I was pulled out of Heaven and away from my mom because Dean wouldn't say yes to Michael."

Adam sinks down into his latest leaf pile and lets himself be buried, hidden from Nick black stare.

"I miss her."

Neither are sure who said it, but both are thinking it.


Nick slowly starts to come out of his shell, even talks about something other than Sarah once and a while. They move all of Adam's leaf piles over to make room for more, and this time Nick gets in on the fun, reaching branches just out of Adam's reach. They make a game out of who can make a pile the quickest, and Adam wins most of the time because of all his practice.

Every once and a while, Adam will have to sit through another story of NicknSarah, but then he gets a chance to talk about his life, about his first crush in high school, and how excited he was to get accepted into Wisconsin University.

In time, even competitive leaf pile building gets old, and they find other ways to amuse themselves. They tell stories about trouble they got into as a teen (or a kid in Adam's case), and stand heel to heel to judge how many more inches Nick had on Adam. Nick teaches Adam how to use a blade of grass to whistle, and Adam helps Nick complete cartwheels. Before long, they take to dozing in the ever present warm sun and talking about anything and everything in hushed, sleepy voices.

After what seems like a few minutes and a few hundred years of hanging around the lone tree in an expansive field, a light, sweet scent breeze wakes them from comfortable nap. Adam lifts his head from Nick's shoulder as his face is tickled by the older man's hair. Nothing has changed visibly, but the ankle high grass around them sways gently in the wind, dancing to a song that has no notes.

"Nick, wake up." The older man wakes up right away, in response to Adam's tone. When he sees what Adam does, his faces changes to awe. He leaves the younger man leaning against the tree and walks into the grass, jeans hidden by thick green.

It's in that moment, when Nick is surrounded by nothing but miles of meadow grass and buffered by warm gusts of wind, that Adam realizes that he's fallen in love with this guy. Blame it on the amount of time spent with only one other person as company, blame it on Adam's need to attach to anyone who can give him affection, after he's lost so much, but his heart aches with the knowledge that even if they never leave this place, he'll be happier that he's ever been.

Nick turns to him, eyes alight with a joy that Adam's never seen and God it just makes him fall deeper, and he's so sure that this is when Nick has realized what he has and takes a step forward in anticipation for it.

"This looks like the meadow where I proposed to Sarah!" The older man laughs in delight as he twirls in the dancing grass and Adam's heart drops like a stone.

It just fucking figures, that when Adam finally falls in love, it's with a guy still desperately in love with his dead wife.