A/N: I have returned! Hey it wasn't thaaaat long right?
Sasuke: You have a problem with commitment don't you
ME: What! Well…. that's another problem I'll get to soon. Any way let's start this story
Me: I said story...
The group woke up and had an awkward breakfast as Sasuke and Suigetsu did not speak to each other. When they were packing up camp Hinata went to Suigetsu and asked "Why isn't Sasuke talking to you?" Suigetsu looked up with a sly look and came closer to Hinata. "Because he's angry that I'm doing this" he whispered in her ear and licking her cheek. Hinata stood mouth agape and blushing as Suigetsu grinned and walked away.
"Hinata lets go we need to move" Sasuke called. Hinata shook her head to clear her thoughts and headed out herself. It was a boring, uneventful walk until Sasuke noticed how much Suigetsu and Hinata were talking. Too much for his liking. "Hinata come up to the front with me" he said.
"But I'm talking with Suigetsu why don't you come back here with us" she suggested sweetly. Sasuke frowned and just kept on walking. Hinata looked a bit let down but Suigetsu soon took care of that with good old tickle hands!
Then Hinata noticed something "Hey guys did it not occur to any of us that the Water Country is on the other side of the sea?"
"Ok so we just hop on a boat" Suigetsu said. "Docks this way" he said walking off.
"Suigetsu did it ever occur to you what would happen if we S-class criminals wanted by every country carrying the Hyuga heiress hopped on a boat" Sasuke said.
Thinking…. Thinking….. "Oh I see your point" he said.
"We walk till we get there"
"Ugh" the group complained. So as they walked on land and water…. they walked on land and water and that's pretty much all they did till they reached the Water Country.
Then they walked more until they came to a small town and got a room in a small inn again except this time it was a male front desk so they had to pay because he didn't really like Karin's version of "conning".
"I told you to let Hinata do it now we have to pay to keep a low profile man I hate this we could of just barged in and stick up!" Suigetsu complained.
"Shut up Suigetsu we have to plot our next move" Sasuke said calmly. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "Dude you sound like we're on a mission we are on a quest! Do you not see how big this is and besides who's gonna ambush us sure things didn't go as well with the last inn but who says someone will attack this one" Suigetsu said grinning.
"I says! Look!" Hinata cried, Byakugan activated she was staring out the window in fear.
"What Hinata, what do you see?" Sasuke asked jumping up. Hinata blinked twice like she was making sure it was real. "It's a giant grey snake coming out of the woods and looks like someone's riding it"
"Huh grey's not Orochimaru's colour" Suigetsu said picking up his sword.
"No it isn't you don't think since he couldn't get me he took Kabuto's body instead?" Sasuke asked.
"And because he was so weak after your battle with him Kabuto's personality and traits took over" Juugo finished.
"Wait Kabuto's the one with the glasses right?" Hinata asked
"Its him let's go!" Sasuke ordered. No one moved, everyone looked at him.
"Dude you sound like Teen titans" Suigetsu said grinning. Sasuke rolled his eyes and jumped out the window running towards the giant snake. The rest of the team jumped into action. Hinata and Suigetsu worked together. Hinata froze the his water and used her Byakugan to hit the snake at vital parts.
Sasuke and Juugo tackled Kabuto who seemed to have gotten waay stronger and Karin hidden in the trees above told them battle strategies based on Kabuto's chakra. Hinata drove a large ice dagger into the beasts stomach and the snake fell dead. Kabuto grinned an Orochimaru style grin.
"I see you got a new group member the Hyuga heiress how sweet Sasuke" he said. He formed a jutsu and snakes slithered out from his sleeves. They both released smoke from their open mouths giving Kabuto an opening to escape.
But this cheap old time ninja trick couldn't trick Hinata or Sasuke (or Karin but hey she's not important!) they saw him do an earth jutsu and get swallowed into the ground. Hinata was just about to try and go after him when Sasuke pulled her back "Don't bother he's long gone" Hinata nodded and broke the jutsu she was already weaving and deactivated her Byakugan and Sasuke his Sharingan.
Suigetsu came up behind Hinata coughing from the smoke "It might have been a cheap trick but it worked"
Juugo came up silently but he looked puzzled. "What's wrong Juugo?" Hinata asked. Juugo smiled at her recognition but soon frowned again. "It may be Kabuto but I saw his face he's definitely influenced by Orochimaru" he stated.
"Yeah no kidding he even got the creepy eye shadow" Suigetsu chimed in. Juugo nodded "So would Orochimaru just use a plain smoke bomb or something else?" Juugo said.
"ITS POISON!" Suigetsu yelled as he started to cough uncontrollably to the floor. No on moved to help him. He stopped coughing and opened one eye and got up sulkily. "Some friends you are" he muttered.
"Ok that aside we need to gather information about the gem its probably blue because its water, but we need more and fast looks like Kabuto's on our tail" Sasuke said.
"Ok Roll out!" he said. Again no one moved. "What now?" he asked exasperated that his team won't just do as he says.
"Now you sound like Transformers" Suigetsu said laughing, "You do it like this …Out" he said pointing a finger gun in the air. Everyone jumped off. Leaving Sasuke to face palm himself.
After a couple hours they met up at the inn again. "Suigetsu what the hell happened to you?" Karin asked. Suigetsu was torn, ripped and overall destroyed.
"You see I was asking around then I spotted this lady right. So I said "Hey I've been looking for a gem you seen it?" and then she turns around and smacks me! And then her boyfriend or whatever comes along and beats me up and then as he's beating me up he somehow pummeled me out of the village and down a hill and at the bottom of the hill were wild cats" he said concluding his tragic tale of woe.
"So what did you find Hinata?" asked Karin moving right along.
"The gem is a in a necklace worn by a Lord here I saw him in the street." Hinata said.
"How do you know it's the gem?" Sasuke asked.
"Do other rocks glow like your chidori?" she said.
"woa it did that, that's cool" interjected Suigetsu.
"Ok so how do we get the magic necklace thing then?" Karin asked.
"The Lord is hosting a party to night at the town's club, I heard that from the girls trying to molest me " Sasuke said.
"Yes Partay!" Suigetsu yelled. Karin looked happy too and Juugo … the same as all ways.
"Ok we go later tonight for now we should get some rest" Sasuke suggested.
"We get the first bed!" Hinata and Karin yelled.
"I get the second" Juugo said.
"I call the air mattress!" Suigetsu shouted.
"Damn I get the couch" Sasuke cursed under his breath.
Later that night
"Ok so how are we doing this again?" Suigetsu asked.
"We are going to sneak into the clothes store then go into the club what is so hard about that?" Karin said.
"what's hard is that the stores locked" he said.
"Seriously but what other clothes store can we find in like five minutes!" Karin shouted. As the others planned to scour the city, Hinata snuck away and headed to the door. She used her kunai to cut a small hole through the glass, slipped her hand through and unlocked the door. Sure she could of blast down the door but that's not all stealthy now is it?
"Ahem" she said softly getting their attention. "Umm did you forget we're ninjas?" she said pushing the door open. Suigetsu laughed nervously. Sasuke came over with an amused look and opened the door wider
"Ladies first" he said chivalrously. Hinata giggled and play curtsied entering the store. Sasuke entered too slamming the door in Karin's face. "ITS LADIES! MORE THAT ONE!" she shouted. "Well you're not a lady, your Karin" Suigetsu said also slamming the door in her face. "UGH!" Karin huffed not walking in not even noticing that Jugo held the door for her.
Now the fun part… "CLOTHES!" Karin squealed. Sasuke rolled his eyes pick up a random hanger off the rack and went to change. Suigetsu took a little more time wanting to look extra special for the ladies and Juugo just watched everybody he was not going to a club packed with people not with his 'special urges'.
Karin actually helped Hinata she picked out the drabbest black dress she could find and threw in some fishnet to make it look like she wasn't trying to make her look bad.
Sasuke came out in a black tux with his tie all loose. "KYAA Sasuke!" yelled Karin fangirl mode activated. "So what do you think about my outfit?" she said trying to be seductive. She was in a bright red dress. Well it wasn't much of a dress per say, it was a bunch of strings tied together so it doesn't look like she's totally naked. But they were going to a club soo… no, that dress shouldn't be allowed, even in a club. On to Suigetsu a black jacket over a white t-shirt and ripped up black jeans. "Yeah I look nice come out Hinata look!" Suigetsu yelled.
"I-I don't want to come out" she whispered from the changing room.
"Pleaseeee!" Suigetsu begged. "No!" her squeaky voice said.
"Karin what did you dress her in" Juugo asked. She shrugged "Nothing revealing" she said but then she grinned 'Nothing as sexy as my dress now Sasuke will see I'm better than her!' she thought.
"Hinata please, come out" Sasuke begged. Hinata closed her eyes shut and burst out.
"YOU CALL THAT NOT REVEALING!" Suigetsu and Sasuke yelled. Hinata wore the shortest black dress and coolest fishnets with the tallest Lady Gaga stilettos ever.
Karin was surprised too 'What the hell do I have to do to look better than her!' she thought.
"Take it off Hinata" Sasuke said getting over his nose bleed.
"but its for the mission" Hinata whispered to herself, "no its for the mission" she said louder.
"Hinata c'mon I know we didn't decide this yet but we all know Karin was to be the slut" Suigetsu said the rest of the team nodding even Karin until she realized what he said. But before she could say anything he continued, "So you should change you know how Sasuke will get with the guys in the club who look at your beautiful body, you don't want to be responsible for so many deaths"
"Or your death" Sasuke said darkly. Suigetsu laughed "Like I wouldn't put up a fight for Hinata"
"Also Hinata Sasuke is the leader of this mission and he said take it off" Suigetsu added.
"Well the leader should think more about the success rate of the mission and not himself" Hinata answered.
"sorry Boss I tried even pulled out the 'because he said so' card usually gets Karin" Suigetsu said.
"Whatever let's get going" he said heading to the door "Just don't let anyone touch you Hinata" he whispered before slaming the door.
"Don't worry Hina I'll make sure any guy that looks at you can't see again" Suigetsu.
"Your going to kill them!" Karin squealed.
"Blind them?"Jugo interrupted.
"Yeah … exactly what I was planning" he said hiding the handful of ties he grabbed to blindfold the guys at the club.
"Let's go" Sasuke said from outside. The team responded and marched out. "Finally got it" Suigetsu said following Sasuke.
They arrived at the club as Sasuke used his Sharingan to get them inside.
"Who underaged and under the influence!" Suigetsu shouted.
"In other words we're in" Sasuke said as they opened the door to reveal. Pulsing lights, booming speakers. Bodies moving to the music the sweet smell of cherry vodka in the air.
"PARTY ALL NIGHT YO!" Suigetsu yelled above the music. He was acknowledge by a chorus of "YEAHS!"
"Ok we need to split up to find the-"
"Lord… have mercy" said Karin and Hinata in disgust. They found the Lord, in a hottub surrounded by girls.
'It's like Naruto's sexy Harem no jutsu… swimsuit edition' Sasuke thought.
Hinata looked at Sasuke thinking the same thing and did a sign to signal she remembered the jutsu too.
"did I just miss something?" Suigetsu asked, when they both started smiling.
"Woa I may be the… bait but ther's only one of me and one… two-"
"nine hundred and sixty thousand" Hinata said deactivating her Byakugan.
"Yeah I'm going to need help, Hinata I know we have our differences-"
"what she's hot and your not?" Suigetsu interrupted. Hinata blushed at his comment.
"Ugh if we do this together we will be sure to-"
"Get our prize!" Hinata said.
"Let's Go!"they said together walking to the hot tu.
"Again did I miss something?" Suigetsu asked Sasuke.
"I think their friends now?" Sasuke tried. Ahh, boys but we're focusing on Hinata and Karin.
"I'll get his attention you pique his interest" Karin whispered as they approached.
"So what should we do Hinata just us poor, defenseless girls looking for fun" Karin said
"Karin I'm soo bored I've been to a million of these and none of the guys are interesting" Hinata said.
"why hello ladies!" the Lord shouted coming out of the tub to meet them. "If your bored we could go somewhere special"
"really" Karin said snuggling up to him.
"How kind of you my Lord" Hinata whispered in his ear snaking her arm around his waist.
" I like the sound of that. Right this way" he said joyously. He lead them up to a dark room with a big bed. Not King size, God size. Hinata kept her poker face she's seen big beds before she being the Hyuga heir, was invited to many Lord's houses.
Karin on the other stood gaping.
"Well you know what the bed is for" the Lord said already stripped. Karin smirked and nodded to Hinata.
"Why of course" she said backing him toward the bed. "To hold your fat unconscious body!" Hinata and Karin yelled. Hinata jabbed his chakra points and paralyzed him. Karin ripped the necklace off him and opened the window.
"Bye- bye my Lord" they said jumping out the window.
'wow they were some sexy ladies' he thought before blacking out.
Hinata and Karin met up with the guys back inside the club.
"Hinata! Are you alright?" Sasuke jumped up and asking.
"I'm fine , we're fine look we got it!" Hinata said while Karin flaunted off her new bling.
"HEY your back yeaa" Suigetsu yelled from the bar.
"Yeah it's time to go" Sasuke said dragging Suigetsu out.
In the nearby forest
"we'll camp here for the night we don't need anyone else ambushing us from an inn." Sasuke said.
"So how do we get the gem to work?" Karin asked passing it to Hinata.
"Well the poem said seed and grow…. SOMEONE HAS TO GET PREGNANT!" a very drunk Suigetsu yelled.
The group was quiet for awhile. But Jugo was brave enough to ask "How does that explain the watering?"
Karin and Sasuke immediately covered Hinata's ears.
(Now we are going to pretend your Hinata for age appropriate reasons and if you want to see what Suigetsu said you know what to do now back to the story)
"Why didn't we stop him?" Karin asked.
"I wanted to see where he was going with this" Sasuke admitted.
"I think I got it!"Hinata yelled. She suddenly pushed the gem into the soft dirt.
"Hinata you don't agree with Suigetsu do you!" he yelled frightened.
"Well I wouldn't know what his theory was now would I" she said.
"Be glad you didn't" Karin said. Suigetsu had a beer bottle in his hand and was just about to drink the last drops before… "No way are you having anymore, water is better for you anyway" Jugo said handing him the water.
"Aww c'mon! some friend you are. Friends let Friends get drunk! I-I thought what we had was special. I can't even sit next to you!" he said getting up shakily to sit next to Hinata.
"Suigetsu can you hand me the water" Hinata asked sweetly.
"You want to take something from me too! It's a conspiracy and your all in on it! here take the damn water it's probably poison!" Suigetsu said throwing the water and running to the farthest tree and crouched down mumbling to himself "They all want to get me, they all want me"
"I'll go get him" Jugo said walking into the dark. Hinata grabbed the water bottle and poured it on to the spot she buried the gem.
"Hinata why?" Sasuke asked.
"The poem said like a seed your mind grows, so I guess the gems the seed and I watered it" she explained.
"That's quite a stretch" Karin said.
"Yes let your mind grow to the possibilities" Hinata said.
"You sound like Yoda" Suigetsu said as he emerged from the forest all bruised and bloody.
"What happened?" Hinata asked rushing to him to heal his wounds much to Sasuke's displeasure.
"I talked some sense into him" Jugo said coming up behind him.
"What about the gem does it need time to grow or what?" Karin said looking at the patch of normal, non-magical, still the same old boring dirt.
"Eh let's go to bed it's been a long day" Sasuke said.
"Long day for us you never had to deal with a fat smelly perverted Lod!" Karin said.
"It's Lord" Jugo corrected.
"I know what I said"
"No I didn't deal with a Lod, I dealt with that" Sasuke said pointing to Suigetsu who currently was talking to a flower.
"I guess its been a long day for everybody" Hinata said.
Me: Yes it has been a long day since I spent the whole day on this… no not really bur whatever GUESS WHAT! My mom and I got and Ipad2 no not two IPads one for me to share…. With her. I am currently using a pencil to not get fingerprints all over it and get it dirty why? My mom's a neat freak and she might clean the Pad with alchol just like her Blackberry. R.I.P I will miss you.
Sasuke: And why did ou tell us that
Me: Cuz my mom said not to tell anyone on facebook, twitter, msn, or any social messaging site so that left me with FANFICTION!
Sasuke: You just had to post it didn't you. Your so immature
ME: Yes, yes I am.
Well bye see you next week on…. Welcome to the Team Quest edition.
Naruto: NO SWIMSUIT EDITION! The readers love sexy no jutsu! You know you do.