OK soooooo... I got bored in class yesterday. And I was daydreaming about how exactly I feel about Envy. There's nothing really positive about him, yet somehow he's so... charismatic, in a way. He's the kind of character you love to hate, but wish you could love at the same time. So... hate to love, I guess. XD But I love to love him. I think it's just the insanity of him, how he is, how he seems to rationalize everything to make him look like the good guy... and when he can't do that, he just makes it sound as evil as possible. He's totally proud of everything he does, whether it's admirable or not. Usually not. It's odd how that can make someone all the more attractive to somebody... especially if that somebody is the same way as he is. I'm not that way, I personally think all the stuff Envy does is horrible, and yet... well... read the poem below and you'll see what I mean! I hope I've put it into words better than I can trying to think straight. XD

Hope you enjoy!


I watch you as you make these gestures

As words flood from your lips

Fingers fly in jealous rage

I can't bear to look away


I search for a hint of you in

Everyone I come across today

Any one of them might be you

But what's the chance of that?


After all, you're not on my side

Not where I can touch you or love you

Even if I willed myself a thousand miles

I'd still be no closer to you


Your words aren't words of kindness

Your actions speak not of love

Yet I can't help myself from

Finding comfort in your everything


You're the one I turn to

You understand what I'm going through

But it's a battle, a struggle to

Decide how I should think of you


It's not that you're perfect

Or overly bursting with pride

I can't hide what's inside

What I'm trying to do


The moment I first was introduced to you

I knew I'd keep my eye on you

Things progressed, the pages turned swiftly

Soon you gave me reason to be interested


I pitied you, but was it right?

Is it wrong that I cried for you?

Felt sorry though if I said so, I'd be dead?

Who ever prays for the sinners?


Numbers fly by, how long has it been?

As I tried to find some deeper meaning

There's not much for me to work with

But there is... something... similar


That thing buried deep inside of you

It's not unlike my own heart

I know you feel, I know you cry

I know your soul is hurting


But don't you think I hurt too?

I've spent days, weeks, months... years

Pining for you, the unfeeling envious...

And you never came! You don't deserve me!


Couldn't you hear me? My pleas?

My desperation of loving you

Wanting to make the pain stop and

Knowing I can't do anything...


Do you know how bad that hurts?

I feel outrageously helpless, useless

As pathetic as you think I am, I...

So I guess... we're both wrong then...


Your words carry only malice

Your touch carries only hate

But I hear the gentle undertone I want to hear

Feel the tenderness of your fingertips I want to feel


It's probably not even there at all

But am I wrong to want it?

Am I wrong to love you?

Should it hurt this bad?


I can't be with you now but

I promise I'm working hard

Trying to understand you

To find a deeper good burrowed in you


I know it's there somewhere

Tucked away safely

Where no one can corrupt it, ever

I swear to you, I'll protect it with my life


I can't let this one last shred of love

Fade away


Don't worry, I promise

I'll be with you soon...


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