The Awkward Turtle Contest-Won third place in the Reader's Choice catagory

Penname: abbymickey24

Rating: M

Word Count: 2,974

Pairing: Bella/Jasper

Beta: PrincessxoAmber

Summary: While trying to keep their marriage interesting Jasper and Bella end up sitting in a jail cell. What's even worse is having to explain to your police chief father why you're there.

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer owns it, I just like to make them have fun.

Title: Keeping Things Interesting

I nervously bit my lip as I paced the street corner, glancing down one side street and then the other often. It was darker than I had expected and I really wanted to just go back home.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the dark outline of a truck pulled to a stop by the curb, causing me to sigh in relief. I hurried over to the passenger side and stuck my head through the open window as the man inside flipped on the dome light.

My eyes immediately slid over him, taking in his dark jeans and black button up. He had the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off strong forearms. On his right arm a hint of black ink peaked out from under the folded up cuff. More ink could be seen on his neck. His brown hair was clubbed back into small knot at the back of his head. He was watching me with deep blue, hooded eyes and I couldn't help but lick my lips in appreciation.

Clearing my throat quietly I asked, "You lookin' for a date, sugar?"

He gave me a little smile that instantly sent a good shiver racing down my spine before saying, "Yes ma'am. Why don't you hop on up in here and we'll get things figured out?"

I nodded and stepped back as I pulled the door open. As I climbed up I tried to keep my dress from flashing him my girl bits early.

Once I got settled in the seat I turned slightly to face him and said, "I'm Izzy by the way."

"Jazz and it's nice to meet you."

I gave him a smile and asked, "So tell me Jazz what would you like to do tonight?"

"Well I don't know, darlin'. What do you offer?"

"That all depends on you, honey."

"What can I get for twenty bucks?" I shot him a scowl completely offended and he quickly amended the amount. "A hundred bucks?"

"That will get you..." I purred as I reached over and ran my hand up his thigh, "...complete satisfaction."

My inner ego got a little fluff as I felt his leg twitch under my hand and I heard him swallow loudly. He cleared his throat before saying, "Alright then. You got a place we can go?"

"Of course, go to the next light and make a right."

He nodded and reached up to flip the light back off before moving his hand to put the truck in gear. As we started to move bright red and blue lights lit up the inside of the cab.

My head whipped around to look out the back glass and I groaned seeing what I already knew was there.

I turned horror filled eyes onto Jazz and found the same look staring back at me.

"Shit." I whispered.

"Just relax, baby. We didn't do anything wrong." He said, trying to soothe the panic that was quickly taking over.

"Anything wrong? Do you see what I'm wearing?" I hissed and waved my hand over the red dress I had on. It was tight, hit mid thigh, strapless, and had a thin strap connecting the chest material to the bottom, putting both sides of my body on perfect display and leaving nothing to the imagination.

"Just breathe, I'll explain everything."

I nodded and closed my eyes as I sucked in air deeply; only to let it out in a squeak when a knock came at Jazz's window and a bright light shined in mine.

Jazz pressed the button to lower it and I heard, "I need both of you to step out of the truck please."

I felt my face flame in embarrassment as I reached for the door handle and pushed my door open, stepping out onto the sidewalk.

I crossed my arms over my chest trying to cover up a little, however futile it might be. The officer near me looked me up and down and then shook his head in disgust.

Asshole. I thought before turning my attention to the back of the truck where Jazz and the other officer had moved to.

"Sir, I need to see your license." The officer said and Jazz immediately reached into his back pocket for his wallet.

When he handed it over the officer looked it over for a moment before he spoke. "Tell me, Mr. Jasper Whitlock, what brings you out tonight?"

Jasper was nervous. I could see it plain as day as he shifted from foot to foot and rubbed the back of his neck. Then he started to answer and I knew this was not going to end well.

"Well you see officer, my wife and I-"

"This is your wife?" The officer asked interrupting him, "You sure about that?"

"Yes sir. We've been married five, no, six years. No, five years."

"Which is it?"

"Five years, sir." Jazz answered and shifted again.

I dropped my head into my hands. Of all the times for him to stumble. We were so going to jail.

"Well forgive me for not quite believing that." The officer said. "You see I saw her standing on the corner, I also saw you pull up and her lean in through the window. Then she gets in and you two spend a minute or two talking before you start to drive off. Plus, the way she's dressed says a lot as well."

"Officer, I swear she is my wife. Her name is Bella Whitlock. We've been married for five years and we were just trying to keep it interesting."

"And the dress?" The officer asked.

"My sister picked it out for her. She would usually never where something like that."

For just a moment I thought he had believed him. I did, until the officer turned to me anyway and asked, "Do you have any ID that tells me what he said is the truth?"

I nodded and turned toward the truck, intent on finding my license. It was only when my hand landed on the door handle did I remember I'd left it at home.

Dropping my hand to my side I said, "No."

"Didn't think so. I'm afraid you're both going to have to come down to the station."

"What? Why? I was telling you the truth."

"I've heard the same thing before and since neither one of you can show me proof-"

"But we can," Jasper said cutting off the officer. "We can have someone come tell you the same thing I did."

"We really can." I said nodding.

The officer looked between the two of us a few times before making a decision.

"Okay, since neither one of you has been argumentative, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt for now. I still have to take you to the station, but I will let you call someone to bring your license and corroborate what you told me."

"Thank you, sir." We both said at the same time, relief clear in our voices.

That quickly changed to cussing the officer out in my head a few seconds later when a set of handcuffs were slapped on my wrists. I could understand their reasoning, they wanted to feel safe, but it wasn't as if I could hide anything with what I was wearing.

Once the handcuffs were secure and Jasper's truck was locked up; we were placed in the back of the same cruiser and taken to the small station a few streets over.

On the drive, Jasper glanced over at me and said, "Baby, I'm so sorry."

Even though he was the one that chose what tonight would hold, I had agreed to it and I couldn't be mad.

"It's okay, but ummm...who are we going to call? Rose and Emmett left this morning to go visit his parents."

"Shit, I forgot and we can't call Charlotte or Peter either." I nodded quickly in agreement.

Charlotte couldn't keep a secret to save her life and her husband, who was also Jasper's older brother, would probably lie to the police and then laugh his ass off when they locked us up.

"I guess that leaves Dad." I said knowing that it wasn't a call I really wanted to make. By the look on Jasper's face, he really didn't want too either, but there was no one else.

Once we made it to the station, Jasper was put into a cell and I was led to a phone. Reluctantly, I picked up the receiver and dialed my childhood home, not knowing if Dad was there or at work.

Of course he didn't answer, so I quickly dialed his work number and was thankful when he picked up on the second ring.

"Chief Swan."

"Hey Dad," I said trying to sound upbeat.

"Bells? What's wrong? Is it Jasper? Are you-"

"Everything is okay." I said cutting him off.

"Oh, thank God. Why are you calling me at one in the morning though?"

"Well...I kind of need...a favor."

"What's going on Bells?"

" ...andIneedyoutobringmylicense...sotheydon'tthinkI'mawhore." I said really fast.

"Ummm...all right. I got Port Angeles, police, license, and whore, so before I get mad can you run that by me again a little slower."

I sighed, knowing there was no way around this, but debated on telling him now or when he got here. Finally I said, "Can you just run by the house and grab my purse off the table by the front door and bring it to the police station. I'll explain everything else when you get here."

He was silent for a few minutes, but then sighed. "Yeah, it'll take me a little bit though. I'll have to call Mark in and wait until he gets here."

"That's fine, just hurry please."

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks. I love you and be careful."

"Love you too."

He hung up then and I set the receiver back down. When I turned around, the officer who'd brought us in came over to lead me to the cell with Jasper.

"Is someone coming?" He asked as he unlocked the bars.

"Yeah, my dad. It will take him over an hour though. He has to find someone to cover at the station."

"The station?" The officer asked looking at me in shock.

I nodded. "He's the Fork's police chief."

The officer gave me a look before laughter took over his whole body and I swear I heard him say he was glad he was on duty tonight as he swung the door open and motioned me in. I huffed and marched over to where Jasper was sitting, dropping down onto the hard bench beside him.

He immediately put an arm over my shoulder and pulled me close to his side. I was shooting daggers at the officer since he was still laughing. I didn't find the situation as funny as he did because it was quite possible that my dad was going to end up shooting my husband.

The time it took Dad to arrive was spent in silence. Occasionally, Jasper would run his hand up and down my arm, but other than that we just sat there and waited.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the main door opened and in walked Dad still in full uniform; my purse clutched in his hand. The officer who'd brought us in looked up and with a grin pointed to the cell we were in.

I stood up slowly and made my way to the door as he glanced over. He started to look back to the officer before jerking his head around in a double take.

"What the hell are you wearing?" He asked quickly walking over. "And what the hell happened?"

I realized I should have told him the story over the phone. It would have been a whole lot easier than having him in front of me, especially with the way his eyes kept darting behind me to Jasper and then onto my little bitty dress. My mouth opened and closed a few times trying to get the words out and I could feel my face heat with a blush.

Dad must have gotten tired of my gaping fish look, because he sighed and said, "Just spit it out, Bells."

Nodding, I looked back at Jasper who gave me an amused smile.

Ass. He better watch it or I'd make him tell Dad.

Turning back around, I tried to give as little details as possible. "Well see Jasper and I like to keep things interesting, the officer saw us doing that, he thought I was a prostitute, then he didn't believe we were married so he asked for my license to prove it, I didn't have them, the officer brought us in until I could prove it, and now here you are so I can do that."

That sounded good, although now it was Dad who looked like the gaping fish.

After a few minutes, he ran his hand through his hair and said, "Let's break this down so I have it straight. By interesting do you mean what I'm thinking you mean?"

Oh God this was going to be worse than actually telling him. Dropping my face into my hands I nodded in answer.

"Were you in the middle..." He choked on the words briefly before continuing. "...of interesting when you were caught?"

I shook my head side to side very quickly.

"Thank the lord," Dad whispered. "Alright, your dress or lack thereof says a lot for how the officer came to the conclusion he did, but where were you exactly for him to even see it?"

I knew this was one I was going to have to answer verbally, so as quietly as I could I said, "On a street corner leaning in Jasper's open window."

"Isabella." Dad groaned. "Whose bright idea was this?"

I pointed right at my husband and...Was that a whimper? Lifting my head slightly, I found Dad's eyes on Jasper, who was slowly backing up, forgetting that for the moment he was safe since steel bars separated him from Dad.

"Charlie I-" My husband started, but was cut off by Dad holding up his hand and shaking his head. "I'm really-" Jasper tried again and again Dad just shook his head.

"But-"

"No." My dad said. "You really don't want to speak anymore son because I'm already on the verge of regretting that blessing I gave five years ago."

"Dad," I said. "That is a little harsh don't you think?"

"What do you expect though, Bells? I mean, I get a call at one in the morning from my daughter who tells me to come to the police station. And then when I get here I find out her and her husband were brought in because they were allegedly soliciting prostitution. While that isn't even close to being true, I still have to find out that said daughter and husband are just kind of freaky."

I don't know if it was what he said, how he said, or just the events of the night catching up with me, but whatever it was, I lost it. Laughter welled up and out. I couldn't stop and soon Jasper and Dad had joined me. Hell, I even heard our arresting officer snickering again.

Once all of us had calmed down and I'd wiped the tears from my face I asked, "Can we get out of here now? I'd really like to go home and change."

Dad shook his head, but was smiling as he turned toward the officer, motioning to the cell.

The officer walked over and unlocked the door, stepping out of the way as Jasper and I rushed out.

"Thank you so much Dad." I said hugging him.

"Yeah, Charlie-"

"No," My dad said to Jasper, "You still need to be quiet."

Jasper snapped his mouth shut and nodded, looking properly ashamed.

The officer checked my license, even though I pretty sure he believed us the entire time, and then after he handed over Jasper's keys; we were finally free to leave.

We walked out to Dad's cruiser, but before we could get in he stopped us.

"I love both of you. To keep that love and my sanity, we are never to speak of this again. That way, I can go back to pretending nothing interesting goes on between the two of you. Am I clear?"

Jasper and I nodded, letting him know his point was made.

"Good," He said and then smacked the top of the car before getting in.

Jasper reached for the door handle to the back, but I placed my hand on top of his.

When he glanced up I said, "You are never allowed to pick a fantasy again."

"Alright," He said chuckling.

"And you will pay for the twenty dollar comment when we get home."

He lifted an eyebrow in interest and asked, "Promise?"

"Absolutely," I answered raising myself up on my toes. Just before I gave him a kiss I said, "And if you're lucky maybe I'll knock on the front door and pretend I'm an escort."

His grin let me know he thought highly of that idea. After all, we really couldn't let the night go to waste.

-XXX-

Well? How was it?

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