It's my first story I write in FFn and I hope it osn't the last.

Sorry if there a lot of mistake in grammar,I don't speak english very well and this story is un-beta'd.

Hope you guys like it! ;)

Jiga or shuga is Japanesse word for Ego.

Disclaimer : SM own Twilight


Edward Cullen is a twenty-eight years-old doctor who never believe in true love. Love mean nothing for him. Until one day, his mother ask him to marry with a young, innocent girl who was Edward's best friend or he always call her little sister.

Bella Swan , eighteen years-old girl, new graduate from high-school never imagine before that she have to marry with her best friend. Even though she has feeling for him, but somehow marrying Edward feel not so good for her.

First, she still young and barely know what is marriage is. Second, Edward never love her as a lover. The love Edward's have for her is only love from brother to sister, never more. Last, she just discovered that her father want her to marry with Edward just because he want to get rid from her soon, so he can remarried with his bitchy girlfriend. How pity is that?

Until one day...


" Edward, I- "

" Don't talk. Just feel. Let your body speak for you.I want you, Bella. I want your response. I want your passion. I want your soul. " He licked her body, from her ear-lobe down to her breast.

Made breathless by his words, Bella dared to ask, " What will you give me for return? "

Edward went still. His mind searches furiously for an answer and when it came it shocked him so thoroughly it rendered him speechless. When had the attraction he felt for Bella grown into this powerful obsession? He had never wanted her more. Never needed her with such compelling urgency. He nearly burst with need to thrust his love deep inside this beautiful, unpredictable and independent woman. And not just now, but forever.

Edward's silence continued so long tears sprang to Bella's eyes and her keen disappointment brought a sob spilling from her throat. What did she expect, words of love? She knew Edward better than to expect flowery phrases when he didn't know the meaning of love. But oh how she hoped...

" Bella."

" It's all right, Edward, " Bella said softly, dully. " I know were I stood with you when you from the beginning. I shouldn't have asked you to give what you don't feel. "

" Ask me again."

" What?"

" Ask me again," Edward repeated.

Bella gazes into his eyes, hope and despair warring with one another. The breath slammed from her chest but her words were clear and somewhat shaky. " If I render you my soul, what will you give me in return? "

" My love, Bella. I will give you my love."

" Oh, God, Edward, don't say it if you don't mean it. If you want me badly enough to lie, I'll not resist. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. "

" I'm not lying, love. I've not come to this decision easily but it's time I admitted what I feel in my heart for you. "

Bella felt as if she were melting. Hearing Edward tell her he loved her was the last thing she had expected. " Oh, Edward, you don't know how long I've waited to hear those words. "

Suddenly she was floating as he lifted her high in his arms and carried her from the shower. With great tenderness he laid her on her back on the bed. " Let me show you how much I love you. "

Bella inhaled with sharp pleasure as Edward's mouth settled over her. The kiss was as soft and sweet as slow summer rain. The passion between them had always been magnificent but it was magnified now that he had told her he loved her. Something unique and compelling bound them and Bella was happy now to give it a name.


Edward's limbs were hard and warm, the heat of his body scaled hers. He used his lips and hands with studied expertise, forging a breathless, exquisite torment until wave after wave of raw molten pleasure buffeted her.

" Touch me, " Edward pleaded raggedly as he found her hand and placed it on that part of him that begged for her to touch.

Her hand closed around him, surprised at how smooth the skin she felt beneath her fingertips. Like steel encased in the softest velvet. He thrust against her and moaned.

" Let me touch you in the same way. "

His hand slid down her stomach, past the silky forest at the juncture of her thighs to the slick crevice between her legs, where he began gentle, teasing message. Bella sucked her breath in sharply when a long pale finger penetrated her moistness. When he added a second fingers, moving in and out in provocative manner, Bella jerked convulsively. In a purely reflexive motion, her hand tightened around his erection.

" Oh, God, don't stop! I love it when you touch me like that. Do you like me to touch you?"

His hand was doing such marvelous things to her she could not speak, merely nodding in response to his question. She loved everything about him. With that though, Bella's body quickly reaching the point when she wanted to feel him inside her, needed her so desperately, she was reduced to begging.

" Edward, please, I can't stand much more of this! It's been so long and I need you desperately. I want you now! " Bella locked her legs over him and arched toward him in blatant invitation.

" I know what you want, love. I want it too, " Edward panted as he nudged her legs apart and positioned himself between them.

He rained flurries of wild kisses along her forehead and temple, down to her jawline to her throat, to her breast. Taking a nipple into his mouth he sucked vigorously as he pushed himself deep, deeper within her tight pussy.

Bella felt herself go hot and liquid at the feel of his swollen manhood taking full possession of her. Once he was deeply seated he began a new assault of slow rise and fall against her quickening flesh. And then suddenly he push more harder, more faster.

Suddenly she cried out in blissful agony as her world splintered into a million pieces. Second later, Edward joined her.

Before his soul left his body, he whispered urgently against her lips. " I love you, Bella. "

" I love you, Edward. "


6 months before...

Married. The world didn't look any different yet Bella knew nothing would ever be the same again. Whether she liked it or not she was Mrs. Edward Cullen for the rest of her life.

The first night they together as husband and wife, Bella really got no idea what she going to do in the bed. She was laying there staring at the ceiling wondering how is feel to sleep with men who is not her brother or her father.

Edward entered the room, naked. He slammed the door, switch on the light and walk slowly toward Bella. He sat beside her. He reached out and caressed the smooth curve of her cheek. Though his touch was tender, Bella could feel the awesome force of unleashed power behind the innocent gesture.

" Don't touch me, " Bella warned. The breath hissed through her teeth in wild shudder.

" You're my wife. I want you, sweetheart. Yield to me and I won't hurt you. I want to bring you pleasure. "

" I don't need your kind of pleasure."

" How do you know when you never experienced it before?" His eyes were dark and enigmatic, glowing with the devil's own fire. Then he lowered his head and his lips found her over and over. With some force, he tried to get Bella out from her night gown. And finally, after take a few minutes, Bella was infront him,laying naked.

" Edward, please, I don't want this." Bella said, trying to keep her fragile control. " Must you force yourself on me to prove your masculinity? "

" I don't need to prove my masculinity, Bella. What I need is my wife. Nor do I intend to use force. "

Then he kissed her again. Bringing his tongue and hands to play. He slid her dress from her body until she lay there completely naked.

" Feel what you do to me, " Edward said hoarsely, grasping her hand and guiding it down... down... Her finger curled around the velvet hardness of his manhood., feeling the massive strength of his desire grow even larger within her grasp. It both shocked and intrigued.

" Feel what I do to you. " Suddenly he was raising her hand to the warm, wet moisture gathered on the inside of her own thighs, and Bella shuddered as passion renewed itself. The musky fragrance of sex sent her sense reeling.

Edward must have felt the same urgency for suddenly he spread her thighs and thrust inside her. " God, you so tight... Fuck! I can stay like this forever. "

" Please, stop! Edward... I don't want this. " Bella cried

" I can't stop now, Bella, " Edward panted raggedly. " Open your legs wider, sweetheart. " Edward thrust again, more forceful now. He keep moving in and out. The thin membrane guarding her virginity held a moment then tore beneath the force of his thrust. A scream ripped from Bella throat.

" Stop! You're hurting me," Bella sobbed

" Try to relax, the pain won't last long." His big hands tilted her hips and he slid deeper... deeper still. " Lock your legs around my hips," He instructed. Unconsciously Bella obeyed and he embedded himself deeper. " Oh God!" It was a moan. It was a plea. It was sublime ecstasy. He was filling her, thrusting, his fingers moving against her in a circular motion, and then reality ceased. Release shot through her in long shuddering spurt of molten fire. His hands gripping her hips. He thrust again, deeper, spilling hot liquid to her womb.

Bella screamed.

Gradually the earth stopped spinning and Bella stared up at Edward. " I don't understand what happened, " Bella said slowly, wondering " How could such a thing happen when we don't love each other? "

" Love has nothing to do with enjoyment of sex. People engage in sex strictly for pleasure. If love exists I have yet see proof of it. My parents were well matched but I can't truthfully say they displayed a great abiding love for one another. People marry for convenience and what the alliance will bring them. Didn't I tell you love was overrated? We have something better than love." Edward rubbed his growing erection to her back. "

" Would you promise to be faithful to me, Edward?"

" I can't truly say that. Right now, you're the only women I want." his fingers grew bolder, slipping down in to her wet flesh

" But how about tomorrow? " Bella dared to press him far more and asked, " Why can't you admit you love me? "

" Shit, Bella, Why you must turn something beautiful between us into verbal battle? " " If and when I ever say those words to you you'll know I mean them. And if you can keep your mouth shut long enough, I'll make love to you again. "


Back to present...

When daylight arrive, Edward quickly wake up and go to the bathroom to clean up. After shower and dress up, he opened the door to his bedroom and what he saw arrested his attention immediately. Bella, his wife, his lover was playing with Nessie, her niece, Emmett and Rosalie daughter. He though he'd never seen a lovelier picture. Bella lay on her back and lifting Nessie above her arm's length. She said, laughing, " I want a little girl just like you. "

" I want a son. " Edward interjected. They both become aware with his handsome figure leaning against the bathroom door.

" Come on and play with us uncle Edward! " Begged Nessie

" I can't, Little one. I have to work. " Edward answered sweetly

" Ugh, just a little bit, please... " Nessie try again, bringing her puppy-face now

Edward shook his head, then dove himself onto the bed and teased, " You naughty girl, "

Nessie squealed with delight and almost helpless with laughing and giggled when Edward tickled her, " Oh, uncle Edward, stop... or I'll pee on the bed! "

" What?" Edward stopped, " Go to bathroom now. "

" Gotcha! " Nessie teased with laugh and then both Edward and Bella joined after that

" So, it's boy, huh? " Bella asked

" Yea, I want baby I - " Edward answered. His eyes never leave her

" But uncle Edward, I like baby girl. " Nessie cut in

" Why? "

" Bcus... Daddy say, when he was younger daddy always bullied his little sister. I want baby girl so I can bully her too. " She look up to Bella.

" Bastard! " Bella said quitely, but unfortunately Nessie still can hear a little

" What aunty, Bella? Do you just say mustard? " " I like mustard cream. Mamma always give me sandwich with mustard cream on it. First, she spread it on the bread, sometime I licked the spoon, it's really nice! " Nessie said innocently , " And then I thrust it into my mouth! Hmmm... that so good! "

Bella shivering from Nessie' words and Edward noticed. " Nessie, lets find your Mamma and then ask her to make sandwich with mustard cream for us. Okay? "

" Okay! " with that the Little girl left the room to find her mother

Once they're alone, Edward tried to speak with his wife, " Bella, are you okay? "

" Yea, I'm okay. Guess I just carried out from her words.

" About the mustard thing? "

" Yea, " she answered with blush

" So, you like it too? " He asked. Bella blushed even more. " You like if I spread it, " his right hand slid down to spread her legs open, " and lick it, " he lowered his mouth to her pantiless flesh and licked it, " And thrust it? " he slid in his middle finger to her already wet and warm pussy. He keep doing this until finally she come. " I liked it too. " Edward grinned

Suddenly Nessie was on the bed again, she climb up to Edward's back. Wanting to join whatever activities her uncle and aunty was doing. " Hi uncle Edward, mamma said the breakfast is ready. Come on... She make a lot of nice food! "

" I will there in minute. "

" Okay! " she said and climbed off from his back

" I guess that was a call for us to continue our 'try-to-make-baby' planning later, after I come back from work. "

" Yea, I guess too. Are you hungry? " Bella asked, suddenly realizing she was famished. Of late her appetite was amazing

" Starved! " Edward grinned

" Me too. I... " she paused and looked up and her eyes meet with him. She blushed. " I'm eating for two now. "

Edward eyed the blight bulge of her stomach with jaundiced smile. " You pregnant? " He asked and Bella nodded. " Oh, my love... " Edward smiled, pulling her into his arms, " I'm ecstatic! I've never thought to children until I married you and of your body nurturing a child of my loins thrilled me. "

Edward rested his hands on Bella stomach. " When will you make me a father? "

" In seven months. I didn't realize I was breeding until yesterday. I talk with Rose and then she bring me to doctor, and the doctor tell me that I'm pregnant."

" You're still so slim. "

" That is likely to change soon. " Bella predicted. " I'll get fat, ungainly and... "

" No! You will only grow more beautiful as my child grows inside you. Each day I love you more, Bella. " Edward groaned, hugging her fiercely. " Was there ever a woman like you? " Courageous, loving, fiercely independent- I could go on forever. "

" Forget the words, my love. " Bella smiled, " Show me how much I mean to you. Make love to me. "

" Gladly, my love. " His lips captured hers and he kiss her again and again, until he was drunk with the sweetness of her response.

" Uncle Edward! " From downstair Nessie shouted impatienly.