A/N- Well I'm back! And with a story that, while now seems (fairly) normal, will get pretty off the wall pretty soon. Believe it! Anyway, I'm sorry to everyone for disappearing for so long, but things have been pretty hectic recently.
Now! Assuming that the gorgeous, brilliant, stunningly beautiful women in my life don't kill me for dropping off the face of the planet for these past months (I've got a good excuse, I promise! And I'll explain! I love ya! *smiles sheepishly), I'll start producing regular chapters again soon. Both for this story and Rebirth of a Legend.
-Chapter 1, I've Got What?-
Naruto Uzumaki, newly minted genin of Konoha, sat on the edge of his bed, looking down at his hands. Earlier that night, He had heard the truth- The horrible, horrible truth... And oddly, he felt better for it. At last, he knew the reason for all of the glares, for all of the harshly whispered insults, all of those years of loneliness...
It was because of Mizuki-teme, and later, old man Hokage, that he learned the truth- Sealed inside of Naruto was the nine-tailed demon fox, Kyuubi no Kitsune.
(Two hours earlier, office of the Hokage)
Naruto stood, fidgeting uneasily in front of the Hokage, who was standing before the boy, looking down at him with contemplating eyes as he puffed on his pipe. "Jiji-" Naruto started, only to be hushed as Sarutobi held up a hand to silence him, still looking at him with that unreadable expression.
Finally, when Naruto thought he couldn't take any more of the silence, Sarutobi closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, blowing a cloud of tobacco smoke as he did so. "Naruto..." He started. "What you did tonight was very, VERY foolish. That scroll that you took contains many forbidden and deadly jutsu, which, if they were ever to fall in the wrong hands, could bring untold catastrophe."
"Hey-!" Naruto started to interrupt, only to be stopped once again as Sarutobi raised his hand.
"-But-" The old man continued, taking a long pull on his pipe. "You only did what you were ordered by your teacher and superior, so I cannot blame you, and I will not hold it against you. None of us suspected Mizuki to be a traitor. However, when you did find out, both you and Iruka did your upmost to stop him and protect both yourselves and the scroll. You did very well, and displayed that you have what it takes to be a ninja of our village. Thereby, I shall support Iruka's decision to pass you." He said, a smirk creeping onto his face.
Naruto's eyes widened a bit at that proclamation. "Really? Thanks jiji, you're the greatest!" He exclaimed, nearly jumping in his excitement.
Sarutobi chuckled at that. "No, Naruto, I am the one who should be thanking you." He replied.
Naruto stopped at that, tilting his head to the side in confusion. "Really? How come?" He asked, curious.
Sarutobi's smirk grew. "Not only did you manage to root out a traitor, even if unwittingly, you also showed that the ninja who were on duty guarding this tower, which houses many important secrets pertaining to the security of this village, have been lax. After all, if they weren't able to spot a lone genin in bright orange-" Naruto pouted at that "-however skilled you may be, then what's to say they would notice if an enemy infiltration specialist jonin from breaking in and wreaking havoc on our village's security? No, the guards won't be happy, but they WILL learn to take their posts seriously. Good work, Naruto." He complimented.
Naruto grinned at the praise. "Thanks old man! At this rate I'll have your hat yet!" He jeered jokingly.
Sarutobi snorted in amusement, blowing another plume of fragrant tobacco smoke before his features took on a more serious demeanor. "There is something even more important that we need to take care of Naruto. Please, take a seat." he gestured towards a low table where a servant had discreetly set out a tray of tea and some small cakes. Taking a seat, Sarutobi poured himself a cup.
"Huh? What is it?" Naruto asked, taking a seat across from the old man and grabbing one of the cakes, which he studied, sniffed once, then took a bite of.
Sarutobi sighed, looking down into his cup. "It's about what Mizuki told you... About the Kyuubi." He answered, his gaze cutting back up to Naruto, who stopped stuffing his face in favor of giving the old man a shocked look.
"Suh-So, it really is true? It's really true? The 4th Hokage couldn't kill the demon... So he put it in me?" Naruto gulped, his eyes widening considerably. "Ah-Am... Am I..."
"You are not the Kyuubi, so get that ridiculous thought out of your head!" Sarutobi snapped, though not unkindly. "It is true that the hero of Konoha, Lord Hokage the 4th, was unable to kill the Kyuubi on that night twelve years ago. What he did instead, was choose a newborn infant, because nothing else would be able to hold the power of the mighty beast, and used the most powerful sealing technique ever created to imprison the beast within, with you as it's sole jailor, Naruto, and as long as you remain strong, you keep our village, even our very world safe from it's evil." He answered gravely.
Despite the gravity of the situation, Naruto couldn't help but feel a little better. "Heh, thanks old man." he said gratefully. "Sooo... What did you think about my first original technique, Sexy Jutsu?" He asked slyly, hoping to lighten the mood.
Sarutobi chuckled in amusement. "That technique... It's the most low-brow kind of trash, completely unsuited for any serious situation..." He trailed off, seeing Naruto's face fall a little. "...And it is completely brilliant- It took even me by surprise. Good job." he finished with a praise.
Naruto perked up, beaming at Sarutobi. "Awesome! Hey, you know that I also learned Shadow Clone in no time at all, right?" He asked suggestively.
"Yes?" Sarutobi asked, wondering where Naruto was going with all of this.
Naruto's grin grew even wider. "Then can I please, PLEASE have another look at the scroll of forbidden jutsu?" He pleaded, giving Sarutobi his best puppy-eyes.
"DENIED!" The old man barked out, karate-chopping Naruto's head.
And so here Naruto was, two hours later- laying on his bed, his mind awhirl with everything that had happened. Finally, Naruto stood up and walked over to the sole body-length mirror in his apartment, taking off his shirt as he stared at himself, looking into his reflection's crystal blue eyes before they drifted lower towards his stomach. Concentrating, Naruto generated enough chakra for the seal to appear. "I've always wondered what you were." Naruto remarked quietly, rubbing the seal with one hand. "And now I know... Kyuubi... And I'm your prison." With a sigh, Naruto walked back to his bed, grabbing his nightcap and pulling it on before flicking the lights off and laying down. One hand draped across his stomach, where the seal was still visible.
Cold water surrounded him, causing Naruto to sit up suddenly, his eyes going wide as he let out a little shriek, having been taken completely by surprise by the water that now soaked his legs and back. Taking in his surroundings, Naruto saw that he was standing inside of a large stone chamber, ankle-deep water lapping over his feet."Wh-Where am I?" He yelled, his voice echoing in the dimly lit chamber.
"So, the little monkey finally decides to 'grace' me with his almighty presence."
A cold chill ran down Naruto's back upon hearing such a rumbling, ominous voice. Whirling around, he came face to face with a monstrously large, intricately crafted cage, with a slip of paper with the kanji for 'Seal' placed on the front of it. And, directly behind those bars was a titanic shadowy figure, two eyes, as red as hellfire, glowing in the darkness as they glared at him. There could only be one answer-
"You're the Kyuubi-no-Kitsune." Naruto said solemnly, looking up in awe at the powerful figure before him.
The great demon smirked, lowering itself down closer to Naruto, who was finally able to make out it's monstrous features. "Well-well, looks like you aren't completely moronic after all." It snorted condescendingly. "What do you want, little monkey?"
Naruto blinked at that. "Hey, I don't want anything! I don't even know how I got here!" He yelled back at the beast.
This caused the Kyuubi to bellow laughter. "You don't even know how you got here? You are totally inept! Stupid, pitiful mortal! I would feel sorry for you, if your kind didn't make for such tasty snacks!" It continued, laughing even harder.
Naruto went red faced with indignation over that."WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, CALLING ME USELESS AND A SNACK HUH? YOU OVERGROWN THROW-RUG!" He yelled angrily.
Kyuubi snorted, still chuckling. "I am the almighty Kyuubi, you insignificant little flea, and there's not a damned thing you can do about it." It jeered, leaning closer.
Naruto harrumphed, crossing his arms, before a thought crossed his mind, and a wicked grin split his face. "Oh yeah?" he leered back. "I can do this!" He whirled around, dropping his pants and bending over slightly, mooning the Kyuubi. "How's this for doin' something, ya big stupid fox? Kiss my ass fuzz-ball!" he shouted gleefully, smacking his butt a few times to accentuate his point.
"YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT! I'LL KILL YOU!" The Kyuubi roared angrily, slamming impotently into his cage over and over.
Looking to the side, Naruto spotted a doorway "Hah-hah! You can't do anything about it!" He laughed, pulling up his pants and flipping the Kyuubi the bird as he ran out the door, back to the real world.
The Kyuubi watched him go through narrowed eyes. "Just you wait, human. I'll pay you back for that humiliation one hundred fold!" It rumbled, chuckling ominously as it faded back into the darkness.
Naruto snapped bolt-upright in his bed, gasping deeply as he grabbed his chest, panting lightly. "So, that was the Kyuubi... What an annoying jerk." he grouched, flopping back down on his pillow. Laying there for several minutes, staring at the ceiling, Naruto finally let out an annoyed grunt, sitting back up. "Aw man! There's no way I can get back to sleep after something like that!" He complained, getting to his feet. Looking out of his window, Naruto gazed at Konoha, which shimmered beautifully under the light of the full moon, completely at peace, at least for the moment.
Moments later found Naruto strolling along at an easy pace through the moon-washed streets of the village proper, hands stuffed deep in his pockets as he listened to the sounds of the night life- crickets chirping, bull-frogs bellowing their croaks, a nightingale twittering it's nocturnal song, bottles clanking together... Yes, the night was truly one of Naruto's favorite times- No one was around to give him those cold looks-
-Wait, what had that last sound been?
There it was again! Looking in the direction that he heard the sound from, Naruto spotted none other than Kiba Inuzuka, a kid from his class, emerge from an alley-way- his puppy Akamaru on top of his head, holding two brown bottles in each of his hands, and a shit-eating grin on his face. What in the heck was he doing? Curious, Naruto trotted towards his classmate. "Hey Kiba! What's up?" he called out, waving.
Kiba, for his part, looked up from his pilfered prize, surprised. "Naruto? What're you doing out this late?" He asked.
Naruto shrugged. "I couldn't sleep, so I decided to take a walk." He replied easily. "What about you man? Why are you sneaking around like that?"
Kiba grinned slyly. "I'm celebrating becoming a genin!" He exclaimed proudly. "Hey though, I'm sorry ya didn't pass man, that's a real shame." He continued consolingly.
Naruto himself grinned at that. "Wrong about that one! I got promoted anyway!" He showed off the headband that Iruka had given him.
Kiba gawked at that. "Really? How'd you manage that? Surely they didn't let you take the test again?" he asked, a suspicious tone in his voice.
Naruto shook his head, crossing his arms in an x motion. "No way! Mizuki-teme tried to steal something important to the village and run off, and I helped catch him, so both Iruka-sensei and Hokage-jiji let me pass!" He bragged proudly.
Kiba's eyes widened at that. "Really? Mizuki-sensei tried to abandon the village?" He asked, flabbergasted- to an Inuzuka, betrayal like that was unthinkable! Unforgivable!
Naruto nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, I was surprised too! But that bastard even went as far as to try and kill me and Iruka-sensei! But we were able to stop him, so it's all good, and I'm a genin now!"
Kiba grinned. "Well, congratulations man! Why don't'cha come and celebrate with me and Akamaru? I got beer!" He exclaimed, holding up the bottles in his hands.
Naruto's eyes widened comically at that. "You got beer? Really?"
Kiba's grin grew wider. "Yep! I swiped it from my mom's cabinet!"
"Cool! Ummm... What's beer?"
The Inuzuka almost face-faulted at that, sweat-dropping. "Whadda ya mean, 'what's beer?'? Beer is beer, stupid!" he yelled indignantly, waving the bottles around for emphasis.
Naruto nodded, squinting foxily. "Yeah, I got that, but what is it?"
Kiba's sweat-drop grew a bit. "It's... huh, y'know, That's a pretty good question..." He muttered, earning a sweat-drop and a deadpan from Naruto. "But, uh... Mom is always drinking it whenever she complains about a hard day, or if she's celebrating something!" he huffed, trying to defend himself.
Naruto shrugged. "Eh, works for me." He replied, taking an offered bottle while Akamaru jumped off of Kiba's head and began to run around the two, yipping excitedly.
Kiba grinned as he and Naruto crouched down close together, clinking their bottles together. "To becoming real ninja!" He cheered, clapping Naruto on the back, who grinned.
As one, the two ninja wannabe popped the caps off of their drinks, taking a deep sniff. "Oh Kami, that smells pretty rank!" Naruto groused, his nose wrinkling in faint disgust.
"Yeah..." Kiba agreed. "But hey, maybe it tastes good?" He wondered hopefully. Gulping, the two boys nodded to each other once, and began to raise the bottles, when Kiba noticed Akamaru backing away, whimpering as he cowered. "Hey boy, what's the matter?" He asked.
"So, you little brat, you wanna steal MY beer?"
An ominous shadow fell over the boys as the gruff female voice froze them to their spots. "Oh-" Kiba started.
"-Shit..." Naruto finished for him as they both slowly turned their heads, seeing a towering, ominous figure, silhouetted against the moonlight, wild untamed hair blowing out in the wind.
"MOMMY!" Kiba screeched shrilly, trying to bolt- only to have his mother, Tsume, a feral-looking woman who radiated a savage beauty, reach out and grab him by his head, forcing him back in place. "Oh Kami, oh shit, oh we're so dead!" He whimpered, which increased as his mother grinned evilly.
Naruto looked up at Kiba's mother with no small amount of awe- Her bearing commanded nothing short of total respect and fear. "Ummm... Yeah, it looks like your in pretty big trouble man!" He laughed nervously.
Tsume's glare switched to Naruto, who flinched. "That so?" She asked coldly.
Those eyes- Naruto flinched back, she was glaring at him... Everyone was always glaring at him! "Uh, yeah! Later Kiba!" He replied defiantly while looking at Tsume, plastering a fake grin on as he turned around, raising one hand to wave dismissively.
A firm hand clamped down on Naruto's skull, causing him to yelp in surprise as his head was forcefully turned until her was facing a ferally grinning Tsume, Kiba still whimpering in the grip of her other hand. "Um, can I help you?" He asked uneasily.
Tsume's grin widened. "You think you're gonna get away that easily brat? Kiba wasn't the only one to try and sneak some beer there after all!" She shot.
Naruto snorted derisively, in spite of the chill crawling up his spine. "You can't do notin' to me old lady! I ain't your kid! I ain't nobody's kid, I make my own decisions!" He exclaimed.
Tsume snorted her amusement. "You may be an orphan, but your still a baby-faced brat. It's up to the adults to teach you brats proper manners, and right now, that's my job! Now take your punishment like a man! You obviously think you can drink like one!" She barked, dragging Naruto and Kiba towards the clan compound by their hair.
"GAH! Somebody, HELP!" Naruto screamed shrilly, Kiba crying in agreement while Akamaru followed quietly behind, afraid to make a sound.
Tsume laughed as she pulled the two along. "Quit cryin' kids! This is tough love!"
Naruto and Kiba sat on the floor of an empty storehouse, huddled together with their backs to the door, and sub-consequently their guard, who was leaning against the doorframe, smirking. "Psst, kiba! You got any idea of how to get out of here?" Naruto whispered to his fellow prisoner.
"No way man! Do you know what my mom will do to us if we try to make an escape! We'll get our asses kicked!" Kiba whispered back harshly. "Besides, there's no way we're getting out through that door! My sister will mop the floor with us if we try!"
Naruto looked over his shoulder at their guard, Hana Inuzuka- A young woman in her late teens that looked almost as dangerous as, and even more beautiful than her mother, as well as the three dogs that lay at her feet. "Feh, you don't look so tough." Naruto spat, putting on a tough front.
"Dude, what are you doing?" Kiba whispered loudly, looking at naruto with wide, fearful eyes.
"Quiet Kiba!" Hana barked, grinning ferally as she pushed off of the doorframe and walked towards the pair, stopping in front of the still-crouching Naruto, bending over at the waist until she was face to face with the whiskered blonde, only a few inches from him, her grin still in place. "So, you think your tough shit, huh?" she asked.
Naruto grinned, squinting. "I beat Mizuki-teme, didn't I? I bet I can take you and your puppies just as easily!" He boasted.
Hana snorted in amusement. "Yeah, I heard about that kid. I've gotta say, for a little baby still in diapers like yourself, that's damn impressive- Something to be proud of even! But, I'll let you in on a little secret..." She trailed off.
"What's that?" Naruto asked, while Kiba, who was sitting there slack-jawed, kept twisting his head back and forth, like he was watching some sort of demented tennis match.
Hana's smirk grew into a full-blown grin. "Mizuki, while older than me, was an educator, a pencil-pushing babysitter, nothing more. I, on the other hand, am a battle-hardened, tried and true, tough as nails bitch. I'm used to fighting the baddest of the bad kid, and I'd tear you apart in no time flat in a real fight." she sneered while her dogs circled the two, growling menacingly.
"Heh, bring it on then! It's not like I've got anything better to do!" Naruto thrust back, his grin never leaving his face.
Hana leaned even closer, her forehead brushing against Naruto's... And then she burst out laughing, straightening up as she ruffled a confused Naruto's hair. "Damn kid, you've got some big ones on ya, don't'cha? It's good to see your not a pushover, you'll need it if you're gonna survive this ninja world of ours." she chuckled.
Naruto smirked. "Thanks." He replied.
If possible, Kiba's jaw fell open even further as his eyes bugged out. "Wh-What just happened? I thought you guys were gonna try and kill each other!" He yelled, confused.
Hana laughed. "Nah, I was just busting balls there Kiba, seeing if your friend would fold under the pressure, but he held up like a champ. You've got a good friend there, and I hope the two of you get placed on a team together, you make a good pack." She replied, glancing at Naruto. "Huh, if only you were about three years older..." She trailed off, sighing dramatically.
Naruto blushed heavily, but grinned all the same. "Heh, I bet I could knock your socks off there too!" He said, scratching the back of his head.
Hana raised an eyebrow at that, was that a challenge?
"Ok, quit flirting you two." Tsume cracked, opening the door to the storehouse, causing Naruto's blush to grow even more, and Hana to snort in amusement.
"Suh-So, I guh-guess it's time fuh-for our punishment?" Kiba stammered, gulping.
Tsume nodded. "Yeah, at first I thought about just blistering your asses until neither of you could sit down for a week, but since you are getting your personnel files and team assignments tomorrow, I thought of a better punishment." She smirked.
"Oh yeah, so what are you gonna do to us old lady?" Naruto huffed.
"I'M NOT OLD DAMMIT! I'M ONLY THIRTY-SIX!" Tsume roared, appearing in front of Naruto and bopping him on the head with a fist, her left eye twitching. "Anyway-" She cleared her throat, regaining her composure while Naruto cradled his throbbing head, cussing. "I've decided that if you two think your old enough to drink like men, than that's exactly what your gonna do!" She said, giving the boys a thumbs-up while winking.
"Wha?" They asked in unison, confused.
In response, another member of the Inuzuka clan brought in a case of beer, setting it at Tsume's feet before nodding and leaving back out the door. "The two of you are going to drink all of these, twelve beers apiece." Tsume smirked, nudging the case with her foot.
Kiba and Naruto looked at each other and grinned- This was gonna be easy! Not even a punishment! ... Right?
Naruto and Kiba both looked like they were on their last legs, about to hurl- and with only five empty cans between them, each one holding the latest one they were nursing. "I don't wanna do this anymore!" Kiba wailed drunkenly, swaying unsteadily on his feet.
Naruto nodded in agreement, too scared to even say anything, one hand pressed over his mouth, ready to hurl at any second.
"Too bad! This is what you wanted, so this is what you got!" Tsume cackled, cracking a whip over the boy's heads, making them jump at the sudden snap, quickly chugging their beers in response.
"Hey, did you put you know what in those?" Hana whispered, sliding up behind her mother.
Tsume grinned maniacally. "Yep, that's why they're so smashed! That stuff will leave the two of 'em feeling nauseated, and it'll knock the haze out of them in time to go get their dossiers done. They're still gonna have one hell of a hangover for their team meetings though!" She chuckled.
Hana laughed as well. "I can still remember when you did this with me, it was rough." She smiled, despite the memory.
Tsume nodded, and was about to say something, when Naruto drunkenly staggered over, standing in front of her on unsteady feet as he looked up at her with bleary, blood-shot eyes. "You want something kid?" She asked.
In response, Naruto threw himself into the older woman, wrapping his arms around her waist as he buried his face in her stomach. "Wha-?" tsume started, feeling a wetness spread where Naruto's face was.
"Th-thank you... I've... I've never huh-had a parent to skuh-scold me before... or treat me like a ruh-real kid..." Naruto mumbled, his sobs muffled.
Kiba, in a haze, stumbled over as well, throwing himself into Tsume also. "Momma! Don't ever leave!" He bawled drunkenly.
Tsume twitched once, then sighed, dropping her whip and ruffling both boy's hair, hugging them close as she did so. "Alright, you stupid brats, you don't have to drink anymore, you've served your punishment. You can rest now." She said, smiling faintly.
Kiba and Naruto could only mumble their thanks, already out of it. "Heh, need some help mom? Hana asked, walking over to pick up one of the preteens.
Tsume nodded her thanks, and was about to grab Kiba, when both boys let go of her unexpectedly. "Huh-?" She started-
-Only for Naruto to fall to his hands and knees, throwing up everywhere.
Kiba pointed at Naruto laughing. "hah hah! Youuuu threw up na- naru... BLEH!" Kiba then promptly did the same thing before he fell face-first into his vomit, snoring loudly.
"OH DAMMIT! YOU BRATS ARE CLEANING THAT UP TOMORROW!" Tsume's roar echoed throughout Konoha.
The next morning found Naruto and Kiba stumbling towards the meeting spot with the photographer for their dossier pictures, looking like a pair of zombies as they staggered on, a worried Akamaru trotting alongside Kiba while a smirking Tsume and severe looking Kuromaru following behind at an easy pace.
"Aww man, do we have'ta do this right now?" Naruto groaned, stumbling over his own feet as they went.
"Shut up Naruto, don't be so loud!"Kiba snapped irritably, holding his hands over his ears.
"Take your own advice why don't'cha?" Naruto ground out, clutching at his own head. "Dammit, why does my head hurt so much?"
Tsume's smirk grew. "It's called a hangover kid, and it's one of the many fun little perks that come with getting drunk. Now then, whose up for some nice breakfast?" She teased.
Kiba paled at that, even as his cheeks took on a green hue. "Please no..." He whimpered while Naruto covered his mouth in agreement, looking sick as well.
Tsume threw her head back, laughing. "Fine, fine." She chuckled as they reached the photography shop, where an old man stood outside, tapping his foot impatiently, a grumpy look on his face. "Hey there old man! I've got the brats here for their i.d. pictures!" She called out, waving to him.
The old man cut a sour eye at Naruto and Kiba. "You brats are late! Is this the kind of impression you want to give as future shinobi of the leaf?" He grouched.
Tsume chuckled at that. "Sorry, it was partially my fault they were late." She spoke up in defense of the boys.
"Whatever. Shall we get through with this already?" the old man asked.
"Psst, Kiba, I've got an idea!" Naruto whispered to his partner in crime behind Tsume's back.
"Huh, what's that?" Kiba whispered back. In response, Naruto grinned and whipped out a kabuki make-up kit, causing Kiba's eyes to widen in realization before he grinned, nodding.
"Sure, if you set up the camera, I'll make sure the boys are ready." Tsume agreed, turning around, only to stop, gob-smacked, as she caught Naruto and Kiba in the middle of painting themselves up. "Wh-what the hell do you two brats think you're doing?" She screeched.
"Uhhh... getting ready for our pictures?" Naruto asked, a sheepish look on his face as Kiba gulped, nodding in agreement.
"OH HELL NO!" Tsume snarled, whipping a handkerchief out of one of her pockets and spitting on it before advancing on the two cowering soon-to-be ninja. "You are NOT embarrassing yourselves and our village like that! You WILL be presentable!" With that, she pounced on Kiba and Naruto, her handkerchief leading the way as the two boys screamed shrilly.
In the background, the old man sighed and shook his head before going about and setting up his camera.
Sarutobi sat behind his desk in the mission assignments office, looking over the two dossiers in his hands, then up to Naruto and Kiba, who were sitting in front of him, then back down to the dossiers before handing them to his assistant. "I must say, good job boys. Everything is in order, and your pictures look good, though you look a bit frightened. Nervous about becoming shinobi?" he asked kindly.
Naruto shook his head quickly. "No way old man! I ain't scared of becoming a ninja!" He protested loudly.
Kiba nodded. "Heck yeah! Naruto's right Hokage-sama, we're gonna be two of the best ninja you've ever seen, especially me!" He boasted proudly.
Sarutobi chuckled at that. "Oh, I've no doubt. But then why did you look nervous in your pictures?" He asked, curious.
Tsume, who was leaning up against a nearby wall smirked. "Oh, I might be able to answer that question Hokage-sama. Those two needed to be kept in line, so I made sure that they only did what was needed." She spoke up.
Sarutobi blinked at that, mildly surprised. "Oh, well then thank you Tsume-san. It's nice to see the next generation getting help, even on the small things." He praised.
"Hey-" Naruto started, only to be interrupted as a small blur burst into the room through one of the doors... before it fell, rolling to a stop right in front of Naruto, revealing itself to be a young boy, no older than eight or nine, clutching his head with one hand. "Hey, you alive kid?" Naruto asked, while Kiba poked at him with a stick.
'Oh no... Konohamaru' Sarutobi thought, sighing internally- This was going to be a mess.
At that moment, a tall, lanky man dressed in all black and wearing a small pair of sunglasses burst in, looking around frantically. "Young master! Are you alright?" He yelled out, seeing Konohamaru laying there.
"Owww..." The kid groaned, getting up. "What the heck happened?" He asked dazedly, looking around before his eyes locked onto Naruto. "Hey! You tripped me!" He yelled accusingly, pointing at Naruto.
"What did you just say you brat?" Naruto yelled, picking Konohamaru up by his scarf and lifting him into the air. "You tripped over your own two feet you brat! Maybe you should watch where you are going rather than blaming people for your own mistakes! Now apologize before I have ta hit ya!" He snarled.
"Put the young master down! What do you think you are doing you ungraceful brute! Don't you know who that child is? He is the grandson of our venerated Lord Third Hokage!" The tall lanky jonin, named Ebisu, yelled angrily.
Naruto looked up at the man surprised, then at Sarutobi, who nodded, and then back down to Konohamaru. "Really?" He asked, curious.
"Yeah! So you better do what your told!" Konohamaru snarked, sticking his tongue out at Naruto.
"Like I care!" Naruto yelled, letting go of Konohamaru as he bopped him hard with his other fist, knocking him back down to the ground.
"HAH! Man, that was harsh Naruto!" Kiba laughed.
"Whatever! That brat needs to learn his lesson!" Naruto huffed dusting his hands off as He and Kiba walked towards the exit. "By the way Kiba-" Naruto started, a curious look coming over his face.
"What's up man?" Kiba asked.
"Where'd you get that stick you were poking the brat with from?"
Tsume chuckled as the two exited, Konohamaru following behind. "Well, I'll see you around Hokage-sama." She said with a wave, leaving as well.
"Hmmm... looks like things might get interesting soon." The Hokage mused to himself, watching with a small amount of amusement as Ebisu searched high and low for Konohamaru.
Outside, Tsume walked over to Naruto and Kiba, who was picking up Akamaru, the small pup having waited outside with Kuromaru "I've gotta say Naruto, that was pretty ballsy. Not many people would have done what was right back there, instead falling over themselves to kiss up to the Hokage by pampering his grandson." She praised.
Naruto grinned. "Thanks Tsume-san. Heh, old man jiji probably got a kick out of it as well- Not that he could've done anything anyway, I'd just kick his butt again like I did last night!"
Tsume raised a questioning eyebrow while Kiba's mouth fell open. "No way, you are lying! No one can beat the Hokage!" He exclaimed in disbelief.
"You better believe it! I beat him with a single jutsu!" Naruto boasted.
Tsume whistled. "So that's what happened to the Hokage early last night? You used a single jutsu to beat him? Very impressive. Not many people can claim to have a jutsu that strong." She praised, causing Naruto to blush as he scratched the back of his head and grinned.
Kiba's mouth dropped open even wider as he looked up at his mom. 'Really? Naruto really managed to take down old man Hokage? Beating Mizuki-sensei is one thing, but this is the Hokage we're talking about!" He yelled, waving his arms around.
Tsume grinned, patting her son on the head. "Then you better start getting stronger if you want to keep up then, won't you?" She asked, smirking evilly. "Anyway, we need to get back to the clan compound. Take care Naruto." She said, waving to the young blond.
"You too! It was great meeting you!" Naruto replied eagerly, waving back at Tsume and Kiba, who were walking off. When they disappeared around the corner of a building, Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Alright kid, you can come out now. Whadda ya want anyway? I've got a killer headache!" He complained.
Just behind Naruto, a disguise cloth dropped, revealing Konohamaru. "I want you to teach me that jutsu you beat my grandpa with!" he demanded, pointing at Naruto.
Naruto turned his head to look at the brat, squinting. "Why should I?" He asked.
Konohamaru drew himself up, taking a deep breath. "Well-"
Four hours later found Naruto and Konohamaru sitting on a log in a lightly wooded area beside some vending machines, Konohamaru having gotten a soda and Naruto having gotten a bottle of cold milk. "Hey Kona, I'm wondering something..." Naruto started, looking down at his bottle of milk.
"Yeah boss?" Konohamaru asked, looking at Naruto curiously before taking a sip of his cola.
Naruto looked at the vending machines. "What the heck are a couple of vending machines doing sitting out here in the middle of the woods like this? It seems weird to me."
Konohamaru shrugged. "Beats me boss. Convenience maybe?"
Naruto snorted, turning away from the machines. "Eh, who knows." He finally let it go, slipping his milk into a pocket on his jacket. "Anyway Kona, now that you know the sexy jutsu, your sure to beat the old man in no time! There's just one thing you need to remember." He stood up, grinning down at Konohamaru.
"What's that?" Konohamaru asked, looking up at Naruto in wonder.
Before Naruto could answer, Ebisu dropped into the clearing, standing up. "Honorable grandson! What are you doing with that disreputable trash there?" He demanded. "You should be studying! The fastest way to becoming Hokage is under my tutelage!" He boasted, crossing his arms. "Listen to me Honored Grandson, your grandfather is a shinobi revered for learning all the greatest jutsu our village has to offer, I doubt you could learn anything useful from this trashy wannabe shinobi."
Naruto scowled at the look in Ebisu's eyes even as Konohamaru leapt to his defense. "Shows what you know! Boss is awesome! He even taught me the Sexy Jutsu to beat grandpa with, so take this!" He yelled, transforming into a beautiful, naked brunette that juggled in all the right places, small wisps of clouds barely concealing her naughty bits.
"Wh-wh-what filth is this? Unfit for the grandson of our celebrated leader!" Ebisu yelled, blushing heavily as a small drop of blood threatened to escape from his nose.
"Aww man!" Konohamaru complained, transforming back. "It didn't work boss." He pouted, looking up to Naruto.
Naruto stepped up, placing a hand on Konohamaru's shoulder. "Don't worry about it Kona, I've got this one." He said with an easy grin, sliding the young boy behind him before making a familiar hand sign. Kage bushin!" He called out, a line of Naruto's appearing beside him in a billowing cloud of smoke.
Ebisu smirked as he crouched slightly and crossed his hands in front of himself. "I will admit, having the ability to make that many clones at your age is astoundingly impressive, but I'm not some cut-rank chunin like Mizuki was, I'm an elite jonin, so don't expect those same tactics to work on me." he declared.
Naruto grinned as his clones surrounded Ebisu. "Oh yeah? Well, what about this then? Harem technique!" He yelled out, his clones all transforming into sexy blonde bombshells, all of whom which latched onto Ebisu, causing the man to pause in shock..
"Wha-wha-wha-" He stammered, a fountain of blood getting ready to erupt from his nose.
"Now to finish it!" Naruto yelled, running up to the stunned man before dropping to the ground in front of him in a split. "JOHNNY CAGE, BITCH!" Naruto yelled, pulling back his right fist, then cold-clocking Ebisu right in the bells.
Ebisu's face drained of all color. "UuuuAHHHH!" The man screamed shrilly, clutching at his battered dangly bits as he fell onto his side and curled into a fetal position
In the Hokage tower, Sarutobi, who had been watching through his viewing ball, smacked his hand over his eyes, even as he winced in sympathy for the hurt man. "To combine Kage Bushin with his own original technique, then to use a taijutsu move like that-" He shuddered "-No man could survive such a horrible combination technique. I have a feeling that I'm going to have to put it into the forbidden scroll and ban it before long." He groaned.
"And that's how you do it!" Naruto exclaimed, giving Konohamaru a thumbs-up.
"Whoa! That was so awesome boss!" The young boy exclaimed, star-struck.
Naruto laughed, patting Konohamaru on the head. "Just remember that there are no short-cuts on the path of life brat. Remember that, and to be as good as you can, and I'm sure that you'll grow up to be a great man, someone who I'll be proud to call Hokage... When I pass that hat off to you that is!" He exclaimed, walking away.
Konohamaru grinned, facing Naruto's retreating form. "Oh yeah? I'll show you! I'll become Hokage before you, and be the greatest Hokage ever!" He yelled.
In response, Naruto raised his hand and gave Konohamaru a thumbs-up, heading towards the next step in his destiny, the team assignments.
Naruto entered the classroom, and, seeing an open seat in the same row as Sasuke Uchiha, moved to take it, when Kiba spotted him. "Hey Naruto, up here man!" The young ninja yelled, waving.
"Hey Kiba, didn't Naruto fail?" Shikamaru Nara, who was sitting beside Kiba with his friend Chouji Akamichi, asked, hoping the answer wasn't too troublesome.
Kiba grinned as Naruto made his way towards them. "He failed the test yeah, but after everyone else went home, Mizuki-sensei approached him, claiming that there was a secret make-up test that he could take, but it turned out to be a trick, and Mizuki-sensei just wanted Naruto to steal an important scroll from the Hokage Tower for him before he tried to defect! But Iruka-sensei and Naruto managed to stop him, so Naruto was allowed to pass! Crazy, huh?"
Shikamaru snorted. "Yeah, just one problem there Kiba- Not only is the Hokage tower guarded at all times by both chunin and jonin, but the Hokage himself is said to practically live there, and there's no way Naruto of all people would be able to get past him, even if he did get past the guards." He replied, voicing his disbelief, Chouji nodding in agreement while he munched on some chips.
"Heh, but that's where you're wrong Shikamaru! I beat old man jiji in a single attack!" Naruto exclaimed, taking the seat on Kiba's other side.
"There's no way. You couldn't possibly be strong enough." Shikamaru replied lazily.
"I'm here ain't I?" Naruto asked, pointing at his hitai-ate.
That effectively shut the young genius up.
At that moment, Sakura and Ino burst into the classroom, fighting to get into the seat that was right beside Sasuke. "Man, why can't Sakura like me like that?" Naruto whined, resting his chin on the desk as he watched his crush punch her rival in the face, only to get a leg-sweep in return.
"Man, they're being pretty rough today!" Kiba laughed. "Hey, why do ya like her anyway Naruto? Sakura treats you like crap man. Surely you realize that there ARE other girls in this class, right?" He asked.
Naruto sighed. "Yeah, but... It's just complicated, alright?" Sitting up again, he took out the bottle of milk he'd bought earlier and popped the cap, attempting to stall where the conversation was heading. "Bottoms up!" he exclaimed, turning the bottle up and started chugging the milk
Deep in the bowels of Naruto's chakra network, a pare of hateful red eyes popped open. 'Here it is!' Kyuubi thought evilly, slipping an almost insignificantly small amount of chakra past the cage and into Naruto's throat, curdling the milk with it's demonic essence.
"Ok class, calm down!" Iruka called out, looking up at Naruto, who just set down an empty bottle... then screeched shrilly and stood up, grabbing his rear. "Naruto...?" Iruka started, almost afraid to ask.
"OH SHIT! KAMI I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO CRAP MYSELF!" Naruto screamed, running out of the classroom as fast as he could with a stiff gait.
"REVENGE!" Kyuubi bellowed in his mind, cackling madly.
"... Right... Well, let's get on with the team assignments, shall we?" Iruka asked, sweat-dropping along with the class.
A/N- Well, here it is folks! If you like it and want to review, then please feel freee to. If you don't want to, then don't. Simple as that. I ain't gonna beg for reviews.