A/N Hi:} this story started as a one-shot but it might be three chapters maybe four. I'll see how it goes after this chapter. So on with the show.
I wanted to remember this moment the moment my heart broke. Sitting in the school cafeteria in an uncomfortable blue plastic chair. The low hum of the fluorescent lights colouring the table a dull grey. I tried to etch the faces of the people who had become my friends over the past six months into my memory. Angela, Ben, Jessica even Mike okay maybe not Mike but you know what I mean.
"Bella…Bella did you hear what I said?" Jessica shook my wrist and leaned in. "Alice Cullen is pregnant can you believe it?"
I couldn't believe it I just shook my head 'no'. Maybe it's just a rumour maybe it's not true. I mean there have been other rumours like the one about a giant wolf in the woods or the food in the cafeteria being made mostly of shredded newspaper.
"How did you find out?" I queried Jessica the gossip queen of Forks high.
"Well I heard from Lauren who heard it from her mom who's a nurse at the hospital." Jessica continued to ramble and I tuned her out trying to focus my vision on the table across the room the one in the corner that most people avoided.
The Cullen's had a reputation, not a bad one they were actually really nice but people didn't seem to see that. I think it was Edward and Jasper's relationship that bothered most and maybe it was just easier for them to keep to themselves. I could understand I didn't broadcast my own sexuality but I didn't have a girlfriend so it was easy for me. Alice took a bite from her salad and laughed at one of her brothers covering her mouth with her hand. She looked so beautiful. She didn't seem any different not that I really knew her but I picked up bits and pieces. You can learn a lot sitting behind someone in three classes and staring at the back of their head. The bell rang breaking me from my inherent staring and I scrambled a little picking up my stuff.
"Walk you to English." Angela said like usual you think after six months she would just think it was routine.
"Sure." I grabbed my binder hugging it to my chest as we walked into the corridor.
"Are you feeling okay? You seemed a little spaced at lunch." Angela spoke as we walked in step and I cursed at how perceptive she is.
"Yeah I'm just a little tired." I tried not to look at her as I lied. She made an 'hmmmm' noise and I knew she didn't believe me but it was all she's getting right now.
As we got to English Angela took her seat in the front and I walked to the back setting my stuff down and waiting for the class to start. This was one of the classes I shared with Alice and I won't lie I did get here early so I might have the chance to talk to her. Who am I kidding sometimes she says 'hi' and I forget my own name. Alice danced in the room in her usual manner smiling and shaking the little spikes of hair from her eyes. I wanted to move the hair from her eyes I wanted to be the person to do that. As she sat down today she spun around to face me and I almost fell back on my chair.
"Bella do you have a normal pen I could borrow?" She made the movement of a pen in the air and I took a minute to accept that she was indeed talking to me.
It seemed odd she said 'normal pen' what other kinds where there? "I don't know I don't usually discriminate against my pens. They're all unique in there own way." I know words came out my mouth but I have no idea what I just said.
Her green eye's lit up as she chuckled under her breath. "Okay I shouldn't discriminate against the pens sorry but do you have one?"
"Uh…Yeah." I took a spare blue pen and handed it to her she always seemed to use a blue one so I thought she might appreciate it.
"Thanks, blue is my favorite." She grinned flashing the little dimples she had.
I wanted to say 'yeah I know' but was cut off when the teacher seemed to slam the door grabbing everyone's attention. The rest of the lesson was pretty boring read this write that analyse the relationship blah blah blah.
As everyone flooded into the corridor I headed with Angela to our last class of today and I was glad to have Art as the last class so I could chill. I took my seat in the small two-person table I shared with Angela. Miss Henderson was late as usual as she barrelled in the door backwards holding a pile of papers almost as high as her chin.
"Okay today class we have a special assignment we have been asked by the principle to create some Art work for the halls. I think this is a great idea but you have to share your wall space because it's not just this class so this will be a collaborative project."
"Hey Ang, want to be my partner." I whispered, as there was a dull roar of people picking their partners.
"And! Before you all start picking your partners I have a list of who's paired with who so don't bother." Miss Henderson bowed her head to read the list and there was a collective groan. Why did teachers have to pick partners? I always ended up with some insufferable idiot and having to do most of the work. This day was turning out to be the worst day ever.
I tuned out the teacher and Angela moved to her new partners desk as I waited on my own personal hell to arrive. I continued to scrawl in my notebook some ideas because I can't draw and I don't want some ugly thing on the wall with my name attached to it. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a chair scrapping back and I lifted my head to see whom I was to work with. My eyes meet the green orbs of Alice Cullen and I swallowed the lump in my throat, which I think may have been my heart. Maybe I was closer than I thought when I said my own personal hell. It was bad enough having a crush on a straight girl but having to be so close to her knowing I can't have what I want. Well I think they call that torture.
"Hey Bella looks like we're going to be partners," Alice spoke gently.
I…I…Uh hello brain are you there? "Uh…yeah." Cool just cool of all the things I could have said looks like I'm going to be the idiot she's partnered with.
"So…what do you think we should do?" Alice asked as she clicked her pen hovering it over a blank slip of paper.
Um… "I…uh think we should…uh I don't know." I stuttered hoping the floor would just open up and swallow me whole. She looked at me and grinned a little and I wanted to face palm so bad she must think I have a stutter by now and is just to polite to say anything. Come on brain think of something witty for me to say please just this one time do me a favour.
"Well what are you good at? I prefer to draw with pencil than colour but it needs to be even. Maybe I could draw something in pencil and you could do colours?" Alice talked slowly like she was unsure if she was saying the right thing.
"Of course I'm not going to leave you with all the work. I wouldn't be a very good partner then would I? But I'm not really good at drawing and stuff I prefer photography." I rambled quickly taking in a deep gulp of air at the end.
"That's great we should go and take some pictures some time what do you like to photograph?" Alice asked leaning in slightly and I balled up a piece of paper and clutched it in my hand in an effort to stop them shaking.
"Anything really I like to take nature photos or people but not like the usual stand and pose photo's more uninhibited." I stared at my hands as I spoke, I don't know why I couldn't look at her but it made it easier to talk.
"I understand like those family photo's where everyone smiles for a split second are so fake you know the next second everyone's going to go back to arguing." Alice rambled on and it's the most I've ever heard her speak I was entranced with the sound of her voice. She spoke with such confidence and didn't use filler word like em and um.
I knew the photo's she spoke about but I didn't have one I would love to have a fake family photo where everyone's smiling and dressed up. It was all I ever wanted when I was a kid. "Yeah I know but they are like a tradition don't you have one?"
"Yeah we have loads."
"It's nice to have them to remember." I looked at the table as I spoke remembering moving around with my mom putting up the photo of her and Charlie and it would upset me when she would ask me to take it down. I didn't understand at the time.
"Don't you have any?" Alice asked quizzically.
"Not really…I don't want to talk about it. We should get back to work Miss Henderson is making the rounds." I pointed over to the teacher as she looked over people's ideas.
"Sorry I didn't mean to pry." She gave me a sad smile and I was torn between hating myself for making her sad and a little annoyed at her pity of my life.
"That's okay," I smiled back. I'm almost sure there were things she wouldn't like to talk about as well.
"I have an idea there's this great place me and my family go to play baseball sometimes and there's this great waterfall it's amazing."
"Wow that sounds great."
"Yeah maybe we can check out some other place's as well. Have you been hiking or camping in Forks yet?"
"No I haven't I'm not the best hiker, I have enough trouble with flat surfaces." I chuckled nervously but I think I'm getting better at the forming coherent sentences.
"That's okay we can take our time."
I sat in my truck outside Alice's house it was still quite early to be up on a Saturday but I wanted to get the good light for our photos. I double-checked my bag extra batteries check food and water check. I took one last breath of the comforting mint and tobacco smell the truck seemed to come with when Charlie bought it for me. 'Okay today I'm not going to stutter and I will be calm and smart and funny' I gave myself a little pep talk before exiting into the real world.
I walked to the door but it opened before I was even near. Alice waved at me and I jogged a little coming to a standstill in front of her.
"I thought you were going to sit out there all day." Alice said taking my hand leading me inside.
I can't believe she's holding my hand. I stared at our clasped hands trying to commit the feeling to memory. I felt my lips curl into a smile until all to soon we reached the living room and she dropped my hand.
"Hey guys you know Bella." She spoke to Jasper and Edward who moved slightly away from each other on the couch as I entered the room and I felt sorry for them, I didn't want them to act like they couldn't be themselves. I waved an awkward hello as Alice took a seat and I followed beside her.
"Don't we have biology together?" Edward said clicking his fingers.
"Yeah you may remember me as the person who passed out whilst doing the blood test." I could feel my cheeks get red as I brought up a stupid embarrassing moment I should have forgotten.
They all laughed and I think I broke the ice a little. "I do remember that, but I guess a lot of people hate the sight of blood."
"It's not the sight it's the smell it's like copper and rust." A shiver ran down my spine at the mere thought of the smell.
"You can't smell blood." Jasper huffed twisting his eyebrows in confusion.
"Yeah you can." Alice backed me up and I was glad. I didn't want to start an argument.
"Fine whatever you say Alice. So what do you two have planned for today?" Jasper enquired with a sly smile and Edward went back to watching the TV.
"We are going to take some photo's for a project." I patted the bag tilted up beside my leg.
"Sounds like fun, but you might want to wait till tomorrow." As he spoke Jasper pointed to the large window behind the television.
I looked to the window and little droplets of rain had started to cover the window distorting the view out the woods outside. Crap that's the worst thing about living in this place it seemed to rain every day.
"We can just wait it out see it gets better." Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Hey Bella do you want a tour?"
The nosey part of me screamed 'yes!" However I managed to contain my answer to a simple nod. We walked through the living room into the dining room and quickly into the kitchen. The place was huge and decked out with stuff you could tell was new and shiny. They had to easily be the richest family in Forks must be nice.
As we continued up the stairs there were lots of photographs of them all some individual some family. There were a few in the family photo I didn't recognise but like the rest of the Cullen's they were beautiful. "Are these the photos?" I laughed at one where a guy is holding Alice upside down.
"Yeah that's my brother Emmett He's a goof ball." She laughed
"Who's the other girl?" I pointed to the beautiful blond with a scowl and sunglasses.
"That's Rosalie my sister and Emmett's wife and before you think it's weird there not related none of us are." Alice pressed her lips into a tight line.
"I never thought of your family as weird," I defended.
She looked at me a moment turning to face me on the middle of the steps and I held my ground literally but also in the conversation. Her eyes seemed to travel over my face and her expression seemed to soften.
I was glad in this moment that I was a rather easily read person or as my mom would say 'her little open book'. I took it as a compliment I meant what I said I knew I came across as odd sometimes but that's just who I am.
"Sorry I just know the gossip around town about my family." She sighed running a hand through her hair.
I glanced down for a spilt second to look at her stomach I didn't mean to but the word gossip reminded me of yesterday. I looked back to her face hoping she didn't catch me. "I try not to listen to gossip." I gave a half smile.
Alice turned to continue up the stairs and I followed dutifully behind. I think the house was three stories and when we reached the top my legs ached.
"And this is my room," Alice opened the door.
I took a second to look around her room and I was amazed it was bigger than most people's apartments. I mean she almost had like a living room and a bedroom in here. She took a seat on the couch and I followed still scanning little bits and pieces. She had lots of books and magazines some in stacks littered across the floor.
"You're room is amazing it's almost an apartment." I laughed.
"Yeah when Emmett and Rose moved to Seattle a few years ago I got the wall knocked down so I could have more space." She stretched out her arms and legs content as a cat in the afternoon sun.
"So do you see your brother and sister a lot?" I asked
"Yeah we still hang out but they work a lot…Emmett owns a garage and Rosalie is an interior designer with my mom's firm."
Well that kinda explains the house I thought randomly.
"What about you any brothers or sisters?" She asked turning to face me hitching her leg up on to the couch.
"Nope just me." I answered solemnly.
"Must have been lonely growing up." She spoke softly again but I found no judgement in her voice.
It was lonely sometimes it still is," Well it was and it wasn't my mom is like a kid herself." I missed my mom I should give her a call when I get home.
"So why did you move to Forks? If I may ask." She seemed a little afraid to ask as she fidgeted nervously.
"My mom got remarried to a baseball player and he travels a lot and I knew she wanted to travel with him but I didn't and well I just thought I would spend sometime with my dad so then she could travel with him." The room was silent and there was the gentle patter of rain against the window that seemed to be getting heavier by the moment.
"That's pretty selfless of you."
I didn't really think so but whatever. I noticed a college catalogue by her TV it was for SU. "What do you want to major in?" I questioned pointing to the catalogue. Did she even plan on going? What if she was pregnant that would be really difficult but I guess people do it.
"I haven't decided yet there's still a lot to do before then. What about you?"
"I haven't even thought about it yet." I answered honestly but I really should have been I mean I knew where I wanted to go just not what I wanted to major in yet. I looked at my watch and opened my bag to check my camera again. I took it out taking off the lenses cap and snapped a picture of Alice on the couch.
"Hey did you just take a photo of me?"
"Yeah I told you I like to capture people when they least expect it." I laughed
"But I wasn't ready…" She crossed her arms over her chest like a sullen child and I laughed taking another picture blinding her with the bright flash.
"That's the point." I tried to say without smiling.
"But I'll look ugly."
"You could never." I paused at the words I didn't mean to say it. It was just an automatic response like stating a fact. Maybe she wouldn't take it in the way I meant it. It's okay for one girl to say that to another right?
"Thanks, You know you're a lot nicer than I thought you would be."
"Why did you think I wouldn't be nice?" I didn't understand.
"I don't know I thought you were funny but I guess I just didn't know you." Alice looked at me with those damn sparkly green eyes. I wasn't usually attracted to sparkly but she made me feel like a magpie and what was worse is I think I liked it.
"Well you know me more now than anyone in Forks high so what do you think?" I gestured to all of me.
She bit her lip in a move that was utterly too sexy and I had to look away again because I could feel my face begin to redden. "I think…I think were going to be good friends."
Gah…the friend zone is there a worse sort of purgatory? I plastered a fake smile and nodded along whilst it felt like my heart was screaming 'I don't want to be your friend.' God I just wanted to love her, why does it need to be so difficult? Being her friend would be hard but I would be able to spend more time with her.
We decided to move the photo taking to tomorrow and we hung out a bit more and she invited me to dinner but I had to decline because I told Charlie I would be home and I had to make him dinner. It felt unfair to ditch him at the last minute.
(Later that night)
As I was getting ready for bed I set an alarm on my phone and decided to send Alice a text. A text was cool not to serious just a little hello.
It was nice getting to know you today sorry I couldn't stay for dinner, goodnight x -B
I pressed send before I chickened out and deleted the x I didn't usually use x but I kind of wanted to see if she would send one back. I stared at my phone for the straight ten minutes before it buzzed and I got such a fright I almost dropped it.
I liked getting to know you your sort of fascinating, it's okay but Esme says you have to stay tomorrow she insists, Goodnight x
I re-read the message and smiled when I read the word fascinating. I don't really understand how I could be fascinating to her but it seems like it could be a good thing.
The sun broke through the trees and I was glad we waited until today to take the photos because of the rarity of sun in Forks. I snapped some photos left and right of trees and the small wild flower.
"Come on you don't need to take one of every tree." Alice shouted from ahead.
"Sorry." I tried to catch up. "Are we almost there?"
"Yeah it shouldn't be much further now." Alice held on to the straps of her backpack and stepped on a mossy stone.
It seemed to happen in slow motion as she slipped one foot down the rock and as she began to falter my arm shot out and I wrapped it tightly around her small waist pulling her with all my strength into my side.
"Wow I didn't think I'd be the one catching you today." She looked at my arm and I quickly retracted it and put my hands in my pockets.
"Yeah that was a close one thanks." She flashed her dimples as she smiled and I returned it.
We broke through the tree edge into a massive clearing and I could hear the rushing of the waterfall before I saw it but when I did it was an amazing sight. I walked a little closer and looked through the camera lens zooming in to take some snaps.
"Right I think you have enough, come and eat something," Alice shouted to me.
As I was taking another picture I turned to see Alice had set out some food. "I didn't know you were packing a lunch I feel bad all I have is a bottle of water." I sat down on the grass and took a sandwich from the plastic container.
"My mom wouldn't let me leave without it." She took a sip of water and I wanted to ask her more questions. Like about real stuff I don't know why I just found her intriguing.
"Is Esme still expecting me for dinner?" I enquired
"Yes six o clock sharp I'm afraid." She rolled her eyes like I was being taken prisoner or something.
"I'm actually looking forward to it, it's nice not having to cook and my mom can't cook to save herself." I remembered the one Christmas when she tried to cook a turkey… I haven't eaten turkey since.
"Can I ask you a question?" Alice tilted her head and looked at me through her long dark lashes and she could have asked my anything if she looked at me like that again.
"You just did but yeah ask me anything." Anxity rushed through my body at her possible questions. Would she ask if I was gay? Would I tell her the truth if she did?
"Why don't you have any family photos?"
Ah this must have been on her mind for a few days now. "It's not really a big deal, I'm not the first person that's parents got divorced, but I just never got to have the family moments you know. I never got to sit on the couch with my mom and dad and watch movies or see them both in the audience at a school play or have the photos it's just stupid stuff like that."
"I don't think it's stupid," Alice dropped her gaze "I'm really lucky to have my family. I was adopted as a baby I don't know any other kind of family." She sighed and looked a little pale maybe the air was a bit thinner up here.
"Alice are you okay you look a little ill." I hope she's not I would have no idea what to do.
"No I'm fine." She put her hand over her stomach and I think my eyes may have given me away because she gave me a funny look. "I know you want to ask just say it."
Fuck why do I always have to give away what I'm thinking? I shook my head 'no' and she twisted her mouth into a frown and she just knew I was lying.
"Come on just say it," Her face was emotionless as she spoke.
I bit my lip in a sort of habit and tried to figure out a nice way to word it or distract with a joke long enough to run away. "Do you dye your hair? Because it's unusually black." Now legs run run!
"No! I don't dye my hair, I'm pregnant Bella the gossip is actually true this time." She tilted her head gave a sad smile.
Why did she tell me? I didn't need to know. Now all I could think about was how stupid she is for getting pregnant in high school, who was the father? Did he know? A barrage of questions raced through my mind.
She seems like a smart person but I guess everyone makes mistakes I guess she is human after all. I don't know how long I had been silent but I think it was too long and Alice seemed to be upset taking my silence as some sort of horrible judgement.
"Is it mine?" I asked with fake fear. She put a hand over her mouth masking her smile but I could see the smile in her eyes and knowing I made her laugh was worth the heartache. "You know you didn't have to tell me."
"I know but I wanted to. I wanted someone who wasn't in my family to know."
"Do you want to talk about it? Can I ask who the father is?" I wondered if it was anyone from school but who?
"Uh it's not anyone you know I got drunk at this college party in Seattle. I know cliché, Come on I know you want to tell me how dumb I am for getting pregnant and ruining my life."
I may have thought those things for a moment but this was bigger than a moment of stupidity now and I felt a little sad that she wanted me to berate her because of an accident or a little insulted that she thinks I would. "No one can make you feel worse than yourself and by the looks of it your doing a good job." It was silent for a moment and I was unsure of what to say. "How far along are you?" I spoke into the silence.
"Like eighteen weeks." She looked at her stomach and it was weird to think there was a little person in there.
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl yet?" I was weirdly surprised by how many questions I wanted to ask.
"No," She laughed and it seemed like an 'at me' laugh. "It's a little bit early for that maybe in a few weeks."
"Sorry I don't know pregnancy math. I think I had to take 'what to do in case of a heart attack' trigonometry that day." I said in my usual sarcastic manner. Oh sarcasm I would have to endure many more embarrassing moments without you.
"Come on we better get heading back." Alice was about to get up but I motioned for her to stop.
As she stopped I pretended to go to pick up my water and instead picked up the camera taking her photograph. "Got you again." I laughed
"Dammit I'm going to get you back for that I swear. You're so damn sneaky."
"You shouldn't swear it's bad for the baby." I pointed to her stomach.
She tossed her bottle aiming straight for my face but luckily I ducked just in time. The hormones must have already started.
(Later that night)
I stared at Edward from across the table. Esme was about to bring through the food and there was an awkward silence that filled the room. I tried to think of possible conversation starters but nothing was coming to me. I checked my watch and as I did Esme, Carlisle and Alice came in with the food to save the day. We ate in silence for a moment before the questions started.
"So Bella how is your father these days." Esme asked politely.
I swallowed a bite of pasta. "He's fine." I couldn't think of anymore to say than that.
"Jasper no cell phones at dinner." Carlisle's sharp voice gave me a fright.
"But dad you get to have yours on," Jasper complained.
"Well when you're on call and someone's calling so you can possibly save a life feel free to leave it on until then not at the dinner table." Carlisle was firm but loving as he spoke and Jasper huffed as he put his cell phone back in his pocket.
The rest of dinner past normally and I don't know if I was expecting something other than a normal dinner but it was nice. Esme got up to start clearing the table and I instinctively started to help.
"Bella you don't have to do that you're a guest."
"It's no problem Mrs. Cullen I'm happy to do it." I smiled and followed Esme into the kitchen and as we entered Esme smiled back at.
"Thank you Bella I wish I had three more like you."
"Hey! I heard that." Alice walked into the room putting a few plated into the sink.
"Well I did say it out loud honey." Esme joked and it was kind of funny in a mom way.
"Thank you for dinner Esme but I think I better get going." I looked at my watch not wanting to overstay my welcome.
"I'll walk you out." Alice led the way to the front door and then followed me out to my truck.
I was about to get in my truck when Alice gave me a hug wrapping her hands around my waist and almost laying her head on my chest and my heart started to beat so much at the contact it was almost vibrating. I didn't know whether to hug back or wait for her to finish. I slowly wound my arms high on her shoulders giving her a light squeeze because she was so small I was a slightly afraid I would hurt her. She stepped back and I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. I got in my truck and waved goodbye as Alice stood in the cold watching me until I had left her sight.
As I parked in my usual spot I noticed Angela standing beside Ben at his car. I got out and she waved me over.
"Hey Bella how was your weekend? Did you get up to anything?" Angela asked as if she somehow knew I was with Alice.
"Not bad just did some work on that art project and finished that English essay. What about you guys?" I returned the question.
"I tried to teach Ang how to play on Xbox live it was hilarious." Ben laughed Angela rolled her eyes at him. Ben did an impression of Angela hysterically shouting and it was actually pretty good.
As I was laughing at Ben's antics the Cullen's pulled up in their dark silver Volvo. I wonder if it will be like anything's changed. I mean Alice told me some pretty big stuff but maybe she won't want to talk to me today. Maybe that was just a weekend thing and now it Monday and everything's back to normal like it was just one of they thirty minute shows where something dramatic happens but at the end it's all back to normal.
I looked past Ben to see them all get out of the car and they walked into the building not waiting around in the car park like everyone else. Well looks like back to normal it is.
During my first class I couldn't help but ignore my teacher and let my thoughts drift to Alice. How beautiful she looks in the photos I took. I shook away the thoughts I'm in the friend zone I should try to think of her as a friend a really hot friend that I think about making out with way to much. Okay just stop thinking altogether ah that's better.
The ugly blue chairs of the cafeteria were curling my spine as Mike asked again if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I was about to say 'no' for the hundredth time when I felt a small hand place it's self on my shoulder.
"Hey Bella I was wondering if I could talk to you about our project." Alice spoke and the whole table fell silent as I slid my chair back thankful for my saviour.
"Yeah sure." I grabbed my stuff following Alice outside to some of the benches.
"Sorry but you looked like you needed saving. I don't actually need to talk to you about the project."
"Yeah I did Mike's a little…uh…well he doesn't seem to grasp the concept of taking no for an answer."
"Yeah he does seem a little annoying."
"Won't your brothers be missing you?" I asked but really I was secretly happy that she wanted to spend time with me.
"No they can survive without me, their always having these non speaking conversations where they just look at each other until one relents it's really weird to watch."
"So basically they have staring competitions." I laughed. "Well your brothers seem like a nice couple. How did your parents take to them being gay?" I asked interested to find out the answer because maybe I could find out her views on being gay if she had an open attitude to it I maybe have a shot.
"They were fine with it love is love, that's what they believe and what they brought us up to believe." She gave a lopsided grin and I was jumping on the inside at her words
As we fell into easy conversation we talked about nothing of life or death just favourite movies and TV shows and I needed to find out her taste in music because that could be a real friendship breaker if I had to put up with her singing some teen top twenty crap but I was lucky she seemed to like all the same things I did.
"So do you miss your friends back in phoenix?" Alice asked me relentless questions about my past and I tried to answer every one.
"I didn't have many friends I was a bit of a loaner." I admitted but I don't know why I was ashamed of the fact I was fine at being on my own.
"I know we should have a sleep over have you ever had one?" Alice spoke with a high-pitched excitement at the mere idea.
"No I've never had a sleep over but aren't we a little beyond that Alice." I looked at her with raised eyebrows.
She looked slightly upset as her eyes became slowly sad and her bottom lip jutted out slightly. No she was pouting…that's not fair. I looked at the table and I think she made have stopped. I slowly lifted my head to see if it was all clear and she was still pouting. "Ugh…when," I relented their was no fighting her.
"Yes! Tomorrow afterschool bring your stuff.' Alice clapped her hands together excitedly.
"Fine but no girly stuff." I tried to demand but I sounded like an angry child.
"Yeah, yeah whatever it's going to be awesome."
"Yeah awesome." Sharing a room with you and having to over think every word and action I make is just peachy. "Can I walk you to English?"
"Sure." Alice said getting up from the table and we walked to her locker as she took out some books. She turned to me and flashed me another smile. "Will you carry these for me?"
"Okay." I was happy too. As I walked a little behind Alice as I tried to keep pace I suddenly felt like I was doing the work of a boyfriend without any of the perks and I thought this was going to be a normal day.
"What movie do you want to watch." Alice asked moving a finger swiftly over the titles.
"Em I'm not fussy you choose." I said to lazy to get off the couch.
We had been in sleep over mode for four hours and it wasn't too bad. Alice put in the movie and took a seat beside me on the couch curling her legs beneath her and putting a blanket over her legs.
"So what did you choose?"
"Have you seen ten things I hate about you?"
"Good choice it's one of my favourites. I haven't seen it in a while." As the music stared I stretched my arm along the couch and Alice's eyes were glued to the screen mine were glued to her face. She started smiling when Heath started to sing and slide down the flagpole onto the bleachers.
"That's so not high school, no one would ever do that, and you could never live it down."
"But it's so romantic putting yourself out there and embarrassing yourself."
Yeah embarrassing is right. "So you want someone to stand under your window with a boom box?"
"It doesn't have to be a boom box it could be an iPod and speakers."
"Wow how 2011 of you." I laughed
"Well I try and stay with the times." She gave me a sly smile and I nudged her with my foot and she giggled.
I should tell her I have feeling for her. I should tell her now. I should just blurt it out or maybe tell her I don't want to be her friend I want to be more.
"Uh Alice…I," she looked at me and that sparkle in her eyes made me all dumb and weird inside again. "I have to go to the bathroom."
She moved away from me and I shot out of the room like a flash. I don't even know where the bathroom is. I walked down the hall and spotted another door. I opened it slightly then a little more but it wasn't the bathroom.
"Hey what you doing in here?" Edward enquired with a confused look.
"Sorry I was looking for the bathroom." I said about to close the door when Edward waved me in.
"I wanted to talk to you anyway, I want to know what your doing with my sister." He asked like it was a completely normal question to ask a guest.
"Eh…well we had a project and now we're friends." I didn't know if he expected more than that.
"Yeah but I see the way you look at her, I know you have feelings for her and I think she knows you have feelings for her too she's just to polite to say anything and I know I might sound like an ass but I'm just looking out for you. Don't get involved don't be friends she's doesn't need any extra drama in her life right now." Edward asked and I did think he was an ass but I could see he was trying to protect his sister. His thoughts were in the right place but he had to know that I couldn't just walk away.
"I wish it was that easy Edward I do but I bet you know better than anyone that you don't choose who you have feelings for no matter how much you want to." I left Edward's room before I felt the anger rise within me. Where does he get off telling me who I can and can't be friends with and I don't bring drama I don't think I've ever had a dramatic moment in my whole life. Stupid messy haired idiot doesn't know what he's talking about.
I got back to Alice's room and finished watching the movie with her. I ran over everything he said in my head over and over but it was just one part I didn't know how to take. Does she know I have feelings for her and is she just ignoring it?
After a few movies I got ready for bed. I took the couch whilst Alice took the bed after a fight of her saying we should both sleep on the floor because that's sleep over etiquette and I thought she was crazy because it wasn't good for her back and I won. I won the fight with an inner happy dance I lay my head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling as Alice switched off the light.
"Goodnight Alice." I spoke into the darkness.
I rolled onto my side trying to get comfy but I couldn't seem to switch off my brain. Questions and moments just rolled and rolled around keeping me from being able to switch off.
"Hey Alice are you asleep?" I whispered just encase she was.
Ha very funny I should have seen that one coming. "Were you scared? When you told your family you're pregnant were you scared they would reject you?" I asked in the darkness and I could hear her sigh.
"Yes I was really scared, I mean I know they're great people but my mind just kept telling me I was an awful person and I had messed up big time. I was so ashamed of myself at the thought that I had let them down in some way. I thought they would throw me out and I would be living alone on the streets or something."
"Can I ask you something?" I spoke again into the pitch-black room.
"You just did." She chuckled
"Can I be there for you? You know with the baby stuff can I help."
"Why do you want to help?" I couldn't see her face but I knew she would have that look she has when she thinks something's odd. The one where her eyes get really small and her eyebrows almost form into one.
"I don't know…" I really didn't I just didn't want her to be alone and I knew she had family but its not the same. "I just don't want you to be alone I want you to know you'll have back-up."
"Thanks that would be nice, I could always use back-up."
I laughed at my own stupid choice of words but it seemed to do the job.
It had been two weeks since the sleep over and things at school had changed ever since. I mean some still treated me the same but some avoided me and Jessica always seemed to be asking me questions about everything. Angela even told me that there was a rumour that Alice and I were dating…I Wish. I was now president of the friend zone I think they were naming a street after me next week.
I thought spending extra time with Alice would make me see some sort of fault that I could use to help stop my feelings but she was smart, funny and too good to be true. We liked the same bands and movies. She knew all the words to bad romance…I found that to be hilarious. She liked peanut butter but hated chocolate, she could beat me on guitar hero and she spoke Spanish that was an odd turn on. She liked to drink tea but she said that was a pregnant thing and even the whole pregnancy thing didn't seem to bother me in the slightest. We had started texting goodnight and now I found it hard to sleep if she wasn't the last person I talked to at night. I think I may be sick this isn't normal or at least it shouldn't be.
I had some rare free time and I decided to spend it in the library. As I headed toward the library I passed by the gym and saw two guys hassling someone and I was going to ignore it until I saw the all to familiar spiky black hair. I headed in their direction and I could hear them berating her before I got there.
"You should come to my place tonight." One of the guys said as the other laughed.
"Yeah at least we know she gives out."
I felt my nails dig into my palm as I approached. Alice looked pissed off but wasn't saying anything back. One of the guys in a black jacket took a step closer and blocked Alice from my vision. My heart raced when I couldn't see her and I jogged up and pushed the guy from the side. He was only a little bigger than me so it wasn't hard.
"Hey what the hell?" One of the guys said but I was to busy checking if Alice was okay but she looked a little shook up.
"Looks like her girlfriend has come to join us. I've always wanted to see a little girl on girl."
This asshole was getting on my nerves and I turned to face him so he could say his crap to my face. "You better fuck off before you make me do something I won't regret," I threatened and they laughed.
"Come on then." He took a step closer squaring up his stance against mine neither of us giving an inch.
"Bella just leave it." Alice tried to get my attention but I ignored her.
The smaller of the two came towards me grabbing my shoulder and I instantly swung to get rid or his hold and by accident made contact with his face.
He swung back wildly and hit me in the eye. I fell backward into the grass His friend grabbed him and backed him away. "Come on man you've done it now." They turned quickly and headed off inside.
Ouch that hurt like hell. It never looks like it hurts this much on TV. I held my hand over my eye and now my hand had started to hurt. I tried to open my eye but it hurt too much.
"Why the hell did you do that?" Alice shrieked coming to my aid.
She placed her hand over mine trying to move it away but I didn't want her to touch it hurt too much.
"Let me see it."
"Well we have to something," Alice stood up and started to pace. "Want me to get the nurse."
"No no nurse…I'll just go home." I tried to get up but the adrenalin had me shaky and Alice rushed to my side.
"You can't drive like that here I'll take you to my place at least Carlisle might be there."
"Okay." I didn't have the energy to argue. Alice walked closely beside me as I kept my hand over my eye. She tried to take my other hand but I pulled it away when she touched my knuckle it hurt so much I think I may have broken something.
"Sorry." She spoke "But why the hell did you do that anyway? They could have kicked the crap out of you." She waved wildly and I couldn't help but feel happy that she was so worried about me.
"What no one ever get punched in the face for you before?"
"No I can't say they have." Alice's voice was still slightly shocked as we got in her car. "I can't believe you did that. Are you stupid? They are just words they can't hurt me Bella." She spoke more to herself than me but I still think I did the right thing.
"But they shouldn't speak to you like that! You don't deserve to take crap from those idiots and if you won't stand up for yourself then I will. " I argued.
"I don't need you to fight my battles."
"Could have fooled me," I muttered turning my gaze to look out the window.
"What did you say?"
Okay I should have remembered not to argue with a pregnant chick. "Nothing." I hope she bought that. We arrived at her house and we walked straight into the kitchen and I was surprised to find a big guy eating a sandwich and flicking through a magazine.
"Emmett! I thought you wouldn't be here till next week." Alice jumped into his arm and he swung her into a hug.
"Well you know Rose she wanted to be here for all the stuff. Hey shouldn't you be at school?" He asked and looked at me.
I just smiled and waved with my free hand.
"Yeah we were but Bella decided to get punched in the face instead."
"Hey! It was either that or maths I think I made the right decision." I joked and Alice rolled her eyes.
"Ali get an ice pack, I think dad keeps some in the basement fridge." Emmett spoke as he came towards me and I knew he was going to play doctor.
"Let me have a look."
"It's fine really."
"Come on I've had a few black eyes. Have you seen how hot my wife is? Yeah she's got a good right hook too." He chuckled a deep guttural laugh. "So what happened?"
I slowly took my hand down from my left eye and Emmett brought his hand up and I flinched as he went to touch it. "Some idiots were bothering Alice so I got in the way and one think lead to another yada, yada, yada black eye."
"So you were standing up for her." He questioned.
"It was the right thing to do."
"Yeah it was, that's what family do and Bella for sticking up for my sister I now consider you family, so if you ever need anything give me a call." Emmett smiled and moved to examine my hand.
He touched it lightly and I swore under my breath, "Fuck, it's not broken is it?"
"No it's not broken it's just swollen and you may have bruised the bone but just alternate hot and cold and it should go down." Emmett gave me a smile. "Hey what does the other girl look like?"
I never said it was a girl, "It was a guy."
"It was a guy! High five," Emmett put his hand up and I just stared at him. "Oh yeah sorry." Realization hit his eyes and he just grinned.
"Well I got one good hit in," I chuckled. "Alice is a little pissed at me thou she thinks I was trying to fight her battles."
"Were you?" Emmett asked and I had to think before I answered.
Was I trying to fight her battles? I just wanted to protect her she so…small. I just thought maybe I could do some of the hard stuff for her. Take some of the weight. I knew I liked her like really liked her but I think I may be in love with her…fuck when did that happen?
Alice walked back in with a few ice packs and she focused on my face and put on over my eye and I put my hand on top of hers and I could feel her whole hand in mine and I knew I had to tell her.
"Alice can we talk for a minute," I looked at Emmett. "In private," I added quietly.
I followed Alice up the stairs trying to focus on what I was going to say. I shouldn't say 'I love her' that would freak her out. I need a better choice of words.
"What did you want to tell me?" Alice turned to me as we both stood in the middle of her room.
I looked at her with my one good eye and scratched my leg awkwardly with my foot. "Uh…I…wanted to tell you." I can't do it, I can't what if she says…fuck I have no idea what she'll say. "That is I wanted you to know."
"Come on B just spit it out," Alice looked at me confused.
She just called me B no one calls me B I smiled at the nickname. "I like you."
"Uh…thanks I like you to B." Alice said in obviously friendly way and she obviously didn't get it.
"No you don't get it…ugh… I like you, like you." I wanted to face palm for sounding like a stupid teenager…oh wait I am.
I watched as a look of shock crossed Alice's delicate features and my heart raced and I think I was about to faint wouldn't that be the perfect end to today.
"Bella I uh…I didn't know you…" Alice stumbled on her words and I think it's the fist time I had seen her at a loss for words.
"Gay yeah I am." I smiled awkwardly and it hurt my face to do so I pressed the ice pack closed into my face and just hoped that she would give me chance.
"I was going to say I didn't know you felt that way." Alice said as she stared to pace. "I mean I like you." She gestured to me and I just waited for the 'but'.
"But I'm not really in a place where I'm ready for a relationship." She shook her head and ran her hand over her hair.
I frowned but it could have been a lot worse at least it didn't feel like a complete 'no way get out of my room I don't want to see you again.' I just needed a chance if she liked me I knew she could love me. "I totally get that and I can wait I just want you to know that." I felt pathetic.
"But Bella you don't want to wait for me. I'm not worth waiting for you should be with someone else, someone who's not as messed up as me. What if I fix you up with someone like…Kate or Ashley?" Alice ran her hand through her hair and I could feel Alice try to push me away with her words but I wouldn't let her.
I took a step closer and lightly grasped her hand with mine. I looked her in the eye trying to convey my feelings. "I don't want Kate or Ashley I want you." I bowed my head. "Just give me a chance that's all I ask."
"Bella." Alice sighed and wrapped her arms around my waist as I leaned my head on her shoulder and watched as my breath parted her soft hair.
"I'm not good for you," She whispered.
"That's what makes me want you so much. I don't care if you think your messed up I like that about you it's what makes you…you. I'll be messed up with you."
"I'm selfish." She argued like it would change my mind.
"So I'm lazy."
"Okay I'm really lazy." I tried to think of something better but I could feel her vibrate with laughter.
"I'm not saying no… just not right now." Alice said and I feel oddly like I just proposed or something. "Can we still just be friends?"
Uh friends… I was beginning to hate the word. "Not the friend zone anything but that please." She released me from the hug and I took a step back to look at her. Her bright green eyes sparkled like they always did and I felt a sort of safe like I could always count on her eyes to sparkle.
"Fine what about part-time friends?" She asked and I exhaled a sharp laugh. What did part-time friends even mean?
"And what about the other part." I asked hopeful.
"We can figure that out later."
We walked back down the stairs and I couldn't help but feel conflicted. It wasn't the answer I wanted but at least it wasn't a 'no' I guess. I left quickly after that hoping to give Alice some time to think on the situation.
When I got home Charlie was already there and quickly asked my about my eye to which I fabricated a lie of walking into an open locker. I don't know if I should be insulted at he fact that he believed it so quickly or just happy that he believed it at all. As I got ready for bed I thought about texting Alice good night which was our usual ritual but I wanted her to do it first. I waited and waited until my clock hit midnight and I just lay in bed. It felt like a battle if I sent it first would I be giving in? Would I just be acknowledging her power over me? I want her to need me to. To miss me like I missed her. I waited another ten minutes and held the phone in my hand trying to will it into buzzing but it didn't.
I sent the message five minutes later but I didn't get one back.
I shoved my books back into my locker and changed the song on my IPod to a good one and closed my locker jumping at the closeness of Jasper Cullen. I put my hand over my heart at the shock. I didn't even see him approach.
"Jasper you scared me." I panted trying to regain my breath.
"Sorry about that." Jasper leaned lazily against the lockers looking me up and down for a moment and I felt under scrutiny by his gaze. "Nice shiner, Alice told me what happened. I should have been there but it's been sorted out."
I didn't want to know what he meant by that. I turned to walk to class and he followed me down the hall.
"Edward told me what he said to you and I want you to know that he's an idiot and I made him pay for that." Jasper gave a lazy grin easily keeping pace with his long strides. "You think he of all people would understand but he's overprotective and jumps to conclusions he's not one to trust people easily." Jasper spoke with glazed eyes, as he seemed to be recalling a memory.
"He sounds like a hoot," I barked a laugh.
"Yeah but he's also fiercely loyal and understanding. He wants to apologize but he's not good at saying he's wrong." Jasper spoke and I was beginning to wonder why he was speaking to me.
"Jasper if Edward wants to apologize he can do it himself, he doesn't have to send you."
"Oh no." Jasper cut in, "He didn't send me, I just wanted to tell you not to give up on Alice. She needs someone to fight for her but it's not going to be easy trust me I know."
Alice had been avoiding me all day, she didn't call or text or even wave hello I had obviously scared her off with all that I like you crap…I knew I should have just kept my mouth shut. Should I be trying harder? Charlie did always bring me up to believe in working hard in order to get what you want but I think he meant money or grades at the time. "Nothing worth fighting for ever is."
Jasper beamed a full grin and walked me to my class. "Bella sit with us at lunch, please."
I argued it over in my head and my inner conflict was raging but Jasper needed an answer quickly.
"Please as my friend." Jasper added.
I liked Jasper and I couldn't say no when he seemed to want it so much he was almost pleading. "Fine see you at lunch."
I was anticipating sitting at the Cullen's table as I walked through the halls to the cafeteria. I parted ways with Angela when I spotted Jasper waiting by the doors maybe he thought I would just sit at my usual table and I can't lie I did think about it.
"Hey Bella did you bring your Lunch or do you buy?" Jasper enquired.
I walked into the line picking up a tray and slid it across the metal bars looking at the warmed up food that seemed completely unappetising. I opted for a sandwich and chips and as I got to the register I noticed some peanut butter candy and smiled as it reminded me of Alice and her incessant ranting of being hungry and wanting candy. I swear that baby is going to have some sweet tooth when it comes out. I picked up some candy and put it on my tray and paid in exact change because for some odd reason I preferred to pay for things and not have to wait for change, it just saved time.
Jasper walked us to they're usual table and I had a shot of nerves race through my body as Jasper pulled out a seat for me then took his next to Edward.
"What are you doing here?" Alice said slightly shocked at our proximity
Wow she seemed happy to see me, "Is that any way to treat someone who got punched in the face for you?" I asked smiling.
"I never asked you to." Alice rebutted
"Well now you tell me." I huffed throwing up my arms.
"Now, now you two kiss and make up." Jasper asked and I turned to look away awkwardly.
"Jasper shut up." Edward muttered under his breath but we could still all hear him. "Bella I wanted to talk to you um…I wanted to say sorry about you know." I looked to Edward and he seemed slightly awkward but he did seem sorry. I glanced at Alice and she was just confused.
"No problem Edward really it's fine apology accepted." I took a bite from my sandwich and the tension at the table was palpable. Alice didn't want to talk to me and Edward and Jasper didn't know what to say. We all just ate in silence until the guys started there own conversation.
I noticed the packet of candy on my tray and put it on the table slowly sliding it over until it came to a spot near Alice.
"What is this for?" Alice asked quietly surprised.
"It's for you I know your always complaining of how hungry you are in-between classes."
"Thanks." She looked at me with a downward gaze and I didn't know what I was supposed to say. "Look I'm going to the hospital tomorrow after school for a scan and I was wondering if you wanted to come."
I wanted to jump out of my chair and do an air punch but I managed to rein it in a bit with a simple nod.
I was acutely aware that Alice was lying on a table and that we weren't alone. It was an odd feeling Esme, Rosalie and I stood at Alice's side and I felt sort of out of place.
Rosalie was talking excitedly about a new design something for houses and how she was going to try and be here for more of the baby stuff and I thought she's such a good sister. She didn't really acknowledge me and I was fine with that it was a hit to my self-esteem just looking at her. Was it something in their water that made them all beautiful? And if it is note to self steal their water.
The technician came in and everyone was quiet as she sat at the station pulling it up to Alice's other side. She took out a bottle of something and told Alice to move her shirt up in a soothing non-threatening kind of voice. I didn't know if I should look away or what but I couldn't not look I mean it was right there. I realized that this was the first time it really hit me that she was pregnant that there was a being growing inside her. How weird was that?
The technician rolled the scanner over her stomach and the ultrasound echoed through the room. It was a dull beat like listening to base music with your head underwater or not. I black screen had an odd bean like shape on it and it was hard to make out anything.
"There it is." The woman pointed to the screen and we all leaned in and stared at the screen in silence for a few minutes.
"Can I speak to you outside for a moment." Esme asked and Rosalie followed them. I wonder what they need to speak about? Was there something wrong? Nah she would have said if there were something wrong.
I tried to make out the image but it was difficult. I squinted my eyes and tilted my head but still I couldn't see it. I felt Alice's cold hand wrap around mine and she squeezed it gently. I looked at her and she was so beautiful I really wish I had my camera to capture this moment. Her most beautiful feature had to be her eyes they are so expressive I feel like I can almost see what she's thinking.
"Can I ask what your thinking?"
She tore her gaze away from the screen to look at me and she smiled and whipped her eyes but I couldn't see any tears.
"I'm just amazed there's life living and growing inside me."
"Yeah the only thing living inside me is some fries and all the gum I ate when I was ten." I chuckled
"You ate gum?"
"I liked the taste…don't judge." I asked with a serious face and she laughed at me. It finally felt like things were starting to get back to normal. I squeezed her hand and looked at the screen again. "Do you see it?"
"Yeah it's right there that thing that looks like a big jelly bean."
"That's it well I saw that!" I argued to make myself seem less inept but I was lying.
I gave Alice a moment to get ready and stood in the hall where Rosalie seemed to be reading some poster. She turned to me and kind of half smiled then frowned.
"So how long are you going to be in town?" I asked trying to make polite conversation.
"Were going to be here a lot but I have to go back to Seattle for work."
"It's really nice of you to be here for Alice…that you're all so close." I sort of envied their closeness. I wish I had a sister or a brother to talk to some of the time.
"We're family and I know she would do the same for me it just kills me that I can't." Rosalie's featured became marred by sadness and I frowned with her.
"You can't have kids?" I asked trying not to be too forward.
"Nope me and Emmett have tried for years but I was adopted so I guess we can be happy adopting. I'm just kind of jealous I guess." She laughed but it was a sort of sad weary laugh.
I couldn't get why she would be jealous but I guess it's understandable wanting something so badly that comes to others so easily.
It had been a month since the scan and we had progressed slowly from the occasional hand holding to a kiss on the forehead. It actually happened by accident at first she was giving me a hug goodbye and kinda hit her head against my lips but hey I'll take what I can get.
We were currently sitting in Alice's room on her bead and she was reading pregnancy books on her belly with her feet in the air and I had to read Hamlet for English class and I was borrowing Alice's copy. Hamlet was boring me though so I took one of the pregnancy books and flipped through it pretending to read a passage.
"Hey Alice it says here that if you don't breast feed then all the milk in your breast just leaks out and you have to wear a boob diaper."
"What!" She snatched the book from my hand and started reading through the words at a frantic pace as I fell to my side in frantic laughter.
"I…can't…believe…you…fell…for…that." I tried to speak in-between laughs but it was too painful. I wiped away a few tears at the sight of Alice's angry look.
"That's mean." Alice pouted and yes it was mean but so funny.
"Have you thought of any names for jellybean yet?" We had stared calling the baby jellybean because she didn't want to know the sex so we have no idea if it's a boy or a girl.
Alice snapped her book shut and I knew she was excited to tell me when she started to speak with her hands.
"Right what do you think if it's a girl of Beatrice?"
"I would say; are you having a seventy year old woman?" Beatrice I mean seriously if you get to name someone make it cool.
"Shut up, Lets see you do better." Alice crossed her arms and I had been thinking of a few.
"Okay what about Dakota?" I asked
"For a boy or a girl?" she tilted her head quizzically.
"Nope I'm not naming jellybean after a state sorry."
"Well then why did you ask if it was for a boy or a girl?" I could hear my voice getting higher.
"I thought it might change my mind."
"Well I guess that rules out Arizona and Montana then." I sighed, "Do you think parents that name their kid Aaron are just lazy I mean look it's the first one in the book."
'I don't know, I don't even like my name."
"What I like Alice." I was not aware of the pun when I said it but I tried to bypass the awkwardness.
"Yeah but that's my middle name." She said and I was surprised I didn't know this.
"Then what's your name Alice if that's even your real name which you just told me is not," I rambled.
"Ugh…it's Mary but you can't tell anyone." Alice said with disgust.
"Mary," I sniggered at the name it didn't seem to suit her at all.
"Hey your not allowed to laugh, okay Isabella."
Damn she had me there damn my stupid name. "Okay truce." I called holding up my hands.
"But you better give this baby a kick ass name since we were both cheated out of one." I added narrowing my eyes to convey my seriousness.
"What about Sebastian." Alice looked at me like it was an actual option.
"Why didn't you tell me you were having a cat?" I asked with fake surprise and she swatted me with the book.
"I think it's a nice name."
Yeah but you also think ice cream is meant to be scooped out with mars bars but I knew better than to come between her and food. She may like me but I was still under melted marshmallows on the totem poll. "Sure Ali." I said getting up off the bed it was getting late.
"You've never called me Ali before." Alice knitted her eyebrows together looking at me with nothing to say that she was happy about the fact.
I paused I hadn't even realised that I had. "Sorry, don't you like it." I moved to put on my jacket.
"No It's okay I like it I was just surprised." She smiled showing her signature dimples and I put in my memory to call her Ali from now on.
"I have to go Charlie thinks I should start paying you rent with the amount of time I spend here."
"Okay see you tomorrow…oh before you go I wanted to ask if you wanted to go shopping with me and Rose next week for maternity stuff and junk."
Uh shopping was not my favourite thing but I guess if she wanted me to come I could grit my teeth and bare it. "Sure." I leaned down to give her a quick Kiss on the cheek and left her to her books.
On my way out I waved hi to Jazz and Em who were on a call of duty marathon in the living room. "Bye guys." I waved to them.
"Bye Bells." They said in unison without looking away from the screen.
I wanted to say bye to Esme so I passed by the kitchen on the way out and she was pottering about like she usually was.
"Hey Esme just wanted to say bye."
"Oh hi Bella going already, I wanted to give you this." She handed me a plastic box.
"It's your favourite peanut butter and chocolate chunks." She grinned flashed her perfect teeth in a wide smile.
"Thank you Esme." I left the kitchen and headed for the door.
Just as I was heading out Edward was hitting his shoes against the wall knocking off clumps of dirt from his earlier run.
"Oh Edward I wanted to say thanks for that CD I loved all those bands you recommended you'll have to make me another one and I have some to recommend you." I thought of all the bands he may never had heard of and I put a CD in my to-do list for Edward.
"No problem Bella did you like the classical? I wasn't sure if you would be into it."
"Yeah I loved it especially the Debussy stuff." I didn't usually listen to classical but the songs he gave me were really good.
"Cool see you later." Edward left and I headed for my truck slightly sad to be leaving the Cullen house.
It was late when I arrived home and Charlie was sitting in the dark living room the only light coming from the TV. I entered the room putting the cookies on the table and Charlie looked at me whipping the beer from his moustache.
"Hey Dad what you watching?"
"Extreme fishing." Charlie said exactly but I was used to his limited word answers.
As I stood in the living room the only noise coming from the TV. I missed the Cullen house already and the warmth it seemed to emanate. I felt it was unfair somehow that they all had each other and I seemed to have no one.
"I'm going to head to bed it's been a long day."
"Okay Bells sleep tight."
I quickly found the man chair as we entered the hundredth store. I quickly realized whilst shopping with Alice and Rosalie that every store had a chair, which I think was for men with shopping bags and wives that dragged them to every store. Well today I was that man and I found that chair first so the rest of them could find another chair. I littered the many bags around my feet and fell into the chair with a sigh of relief. How many Elastic waist bands could one girl need I mean she's not even that big. I think she just likes to see me suffer.
"Bella what do you think of these." Alice asked as she held up a pair of jeans.
"They look great." I yelled across the store, just like the twenty other pair you already bought I added silently.
"You say that about everything." Alice came tumbling towards me and I knew that look. That was the 'don't test me' look.
"Well it's true Ali." I added a sad smile for effect and she totally bought it. I gave myself an inner high five. "Can we get something to eat I'm starved."
"Sure." We found Rosalie and left the shop and headed to the first place we saw that served food it was some sort of pizza place.
After a bite to eat we had to walk back to the parking structure where the cars were parked and five minutes into walking Alice started to complain of her feet hurting.
"My feet hurt."
My feet weren't feet anymore they were bloody nubs but I wasn't complaining. "What do you want me to do?" I tried not to be mean but I was tired.
"Give me a piggy back." Alice whined holding out her arms and I huffed a short laugh.
Ha yeah a piggy back whilst I'm carrying bags what does she think I am her personal slave. I shot her a look that said 'are you kidding me?'
"Please B," She moaned then pouted and it was like a double team of unfairness.
"Fine," I bent down and she quickly hopped on my back. Her legs wrapped around my waist and she put her arms loosely around my neck and leaned her head on my should and I felt a warm feeling course through my veins at the contact like someone was giving my heart a bear hug.
"Awe I have to get a picture of you guys." Rosalie turned with a laugh as I was staring to strain under the weight but tried not to show it. I mean I was only a little bigger than Alice and not much stronger.
"Smile." Rosalie said as she pointed her phone at us.
I smiled as Alice pushed her cheek against mine and we both chuckled at how weird we must look. We walked a little more and got a few stares from passers by but we eventually made it.
"Hey what are you doing?" Alice popped her head into my room and I was pleasantly surprised to see her. It wasn't like her to just show up unexpectedly at my house but I liked that she felt like she could.
"Hey Alice why are you here? Is there something wrong?" I started to run through what possible things could be wrong.
"No…no…nothings wrong it's just everyone's out and I sort of maybe…missed you a little…not that much." She bit her lip as she spoke and a light maroon color crossed her cheeks and I could see she was embarrassed at the admittance.
"Well I missed you a little…not that much to." I patted beside me on the bed and she danced over in her usual fashion sitting on the edge of the bed as I sat leaning up against the headboard.
"So what you reading?" She asked innocently.
"A book." My sarcastic nature demanded I reply. "A poetry book." I added for good measure.
"Can you read me one, I like the baby to hear nice things." She added and I thought it weird to talk to a bump in her stomach.
Alice curled up on the bed and laid her head on my legs and I gulped at the proximity of our flesh. It was beginning to get more and more difficult to stop my thoughts and my feelings when I was around her but in moments like this when we were alone and she was freer, more her self…it was almost impossible.
I took a deep breath unsure of where to start. I had never said stuff like this before. I picked one I had been thinking about for a while. I stuttered through the first few lines and tried to read quickly until I got to the middle and I paused for a moment taking in some much needed oxygen. "I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this; where 'I' does not exist, nor 'you'. So close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."
I tried to read the lines of Pablo Neruda as if they were my own coming from my own heart because I am not able to convey my feeling as well as he does. Alice lifted her head to look at me and I bowed my head because I just found it hard to look at her sometimes, she's so beautiful and I'm just not. She stalked her way up my body never touching me; my hands were trembling as I gripped onto the pages of my book I began to fear I might break it in half. She was so close to me I could smell her fragrant perfume that I'm sure will be ingrained into my sheets tonight.
"Can I try something?" Alice asked and I flick my eyes up to meet hers and I gave a small nod. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing, 'in and out' I reminded myself but even I could hear how ragged it was.
Alice placed her palm against my cheek she was so cold but it felt good. Leaning in she placed her lips against mine and I let her control the kiss encase it was some sort of dream I was sure to wake up from at any moment. I inhaled her sent and slid my hand onto her waist as her other hand moved to clutch at my hair. I moved my lips against hers trying to capture more of soft pink flesh but she pulled away getting up and stumbling backwards against the wall.
She had to feel what I felt that had to mean something, "Alice." I gasped her name with a ragged breath like it was last and only word.
She held up one finger indicating that she needed a minute. God how many thoughts could race through my head in a minute, it felt like a lifetime since she had spoken.
"I don't think we should be friends, I'm sorry." She hauled the door open and moved faster than I had ever seen her move before.
"Alice wait!" I shouted but it was too late as I made it to the bottom of the stairs she was already gone.
What did she mean? It obviously wasn't the good kind of 'I don't want to be friends'. Maybe she just needed some time to process. I should just give her time yeah that's what I should do.
"What was that about?" Charlie popped his head out of the kitchen and I had forgotten he was even in the house.
"Dad have you ever liked a girl so much but every word she said and every action she made messed with your head." I asked solemnly clutching onto the old wooden rail for some sort of support.
"That's not one girl that's every girl I'm afraid." Charlie gave me a sad smile but I could see he was slightly pleased. "So you and Alice huh?"
"It's complicated." I sighed taking a seat on the stairs.
"Sorry Bells girls always are, you should have seen me with your mother I was always stumbling over my words, I could never do anything right." He laughed as he reminisced and all I could think is 'so that's where I get it from'
"Thanks dad you wisdom is priceless."
A/N- Thank you for reading, and sorry for any grammar mistakes. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. They might even be better than piggyback rides:]