(A/N: I had this story stuck in my mind for the longest time. As an anime fan, I came across the series Stop! Hibari-kun! It's a really funny gag series. Sadly, it was never subbed, though the first five episodes were fan-subbed and can be found on YouTube. It's really worth watching. Even though I couldn't understand what they were saying, I watched all 35 episodes, and then came up with this story. Technically, I guess this counts as my first yaoi fic. Hope you like it.)
Disclaimer: I own nothing
He was dreaming again. But like with most cases, he didn't realize he was dreaming, no matter how bazaar things seemed. Currently, he was dreaming that he was a fly buzzing around a garden, though his head was still that of a human.
He tensed up at hearing his name being called. Looking over his shoulder, he saw a large spider web, complete with spider. Like him though, this spider also had the head of a human; a beautiful blue eyed blond girl.
Fear gripped Kohsuka. He knew that he had to stay away from this spider-woman, mostly because it wasn't a woman, regardless of how gorgeous and feministic it was.
The not-woman waved at him. "Come into my web, Kohsuka." Said the spider to the fly.
Kohsuka shook his head rapidly and flew off. But the spider would not be denied. Using a string of sticky web like a lasso, the spider caught Kohsuka round the middle. The fly began panicking, flying about rapidly, but unable to escape. Slowly the spider started to reel him in, its arms held out to embrace him.
"No!" Kohsuka shouted as he was pulled closer and closer. "Stop, Hibari-kun!"
The dream ended, and Kohsuka woke up screaming. The moment his eyes snapped open, he was greeted by a horrifying scene. The large face of a brute of a man was less than an inch from his own. To make matters worse, it was covered in green Frankenstein makeup, making it even more fearsome.
Kohsuka screamed. He should have been used to this by now, but nearly every morning was the same. His own personal 'alarm clock' scared him awake every morning.
"Good morning, Kohsuka." The brute said cheerfully.
Blue in the face, Kohsuka took a moment to calm his racing heart. "G-Good morning, Seiji…"
Seiji, the big scary man, grinned. "Hurry up and get ready. Master Hibari is returning today."
Still feeling shaken up, Kohsuka nodded. "I'll… I'll get ready…"
As if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, Seiji left the room. Then again, anything out of the ordinary was the ordinary in this household. Kohsuka had slowly gotten used to the strange stuff that happened around here, but since the morning scares changed every morning, that was something he never had gotten used to.
As he got dressed, Kohsuka wondered, for the zillionth time, just how his life had come to this. Ever since he got here, his life had become a living hell.
It had all began a few years ago. After his mother died from an illness, leaving him all alone in the world, Kohsuka Sakamoto had moved into the Oozora home. His mother and Ibari Oozora had been friends/almost lovers in their younger days. Ibari, still having feelings for Kohsuka's mother, had agreed to take care of her son.
From the moment Kohsuka had begun his trip to his new home, things had become crazy. That was when he first met Seiji and his partner Sabu, who had been accompanying Mr. Oozora. Kohsuka hadn't known why at the time, but he soon found out. Mr. Oozora was a yakuza boss, something Kohsuka's mother had conveniently forgotten to mention when she said that he would be staying with the Oozoras.
Kohsuka's first instinct had been to run away. If he stayed here, his life would surely be in danger. But just as he was getting ready to sneak away, he ran into a beautiful girl. Long blond hair, ocean blue eyes, flawless skin, and a fantastic figure. It was love at first sight for Kohsuka. And the look she gave him suggested that she may have been hit by Cupid's arrow as well.
So he had decided to stay, and after meeting everyone, it seemed as if things wouldn't be so bad after all. It turned out that even though Mr. Oozora still had feelings for Kohsuka's mother, he had settled down and started a family of his own. Kohsuka was introduced to the Oozora girls. The eldest was Tsugumi, who acted as a motherly to her family, and who was also the love interest Sabu. Tsubame was two years older than him and the second oldest daughter, who looked almost like a twin to the blond girl he had seen earlier, with the exception of having bushy brown hair and eyes. The youngest was little Suzume, a sweet little girl that could get her father to do anything she asked.
As nice as these three daughters were, the one Kohsuka wanted to know more about was the stunning blond he had seen earlier. He remembered the way his heart had skipped a beat when she finally entered with the rest of the family. But it was short-lived as Mr. Oozora introduced the pretty blond girl as Hibari, his son.
It was so unbelievable that Kohsuka had assumed that Mr. Oozora was either drunk or joking, perhaps both. He still had his doubts when Tsubame told him that Hibari was her brother and asked Kohsuka to train him to be manly. But after accidentally walking in on Hibari in the bathroom and seeing the supposed boy naked, Kohsuka finally believed that Hibari Oozora was a guy.
It was shocking, but true. Kohsuka was forced to admit to himself that he had fallen in love at first sight with another man. But Hibari wasn't just a man; he was a homosexual cross-dresser. No, it was more than that. Hibari actuallywantedto be a girl. He behaved, dressed, spoke, and pretended to be a girl, straight down to hiding his nonexistent breast when he was caught topless. In fact, everyone outside of the Oozora family, and Seiji and Sabu, believed him to be a girl. Hibari had everyone fooled. His locker was always overflowing with love letters, guys confessed to him on a daily basis, some were even hopelessly in love with him, unaware of the most beautiful person in school's true gender.
Even while knowing the truth, Kohsuka's attraction didn't lesson. Everything about Hibari suggested that he was a girl; his appearance, his behavior, his personality, his voice, even his scent. Kohsuka had to remind himself constantly that Hibari was a man. That wasn't exactly easy when Hibari did everything as a girl would. He used the girl's bathroom and changing room, played sports with the girls, he even wore his sister's panties and bra.
Hibari's gender was a closely guarded secret of everyone in the Oozora family. None of them wanted it to be known that they had such a weirdo for a family, and they hated his perverted ways. Only little Suzume seemed to like Hibari the way he was.
Ok, so Hibari was a little… unusual. That wasn't the real problem. No, the real problem was that Hibari had fallen head over heels in love with Kohsuka. Though Kohsuka made it perfectly clear that he didn't swing that way, that he was only interested in girls, Hibari refused to back down, and had been attempting to seduce Kohsuka ever since. Quite successfully too. He had even stolen several kisses from Kohsuka, something that Kohsuka was both happy and horrified about. He feared that he was falling more and more into, what he referred to as, Hibari's World of Weirdos.
But four months ago, something had happened. Kohsuka wasn't sure of the exact details, but Hibari had finally agreed with his father to become manly. It was a very unusual thing to for Hibari to do. In fact, never before had Hibari even acknowledged himself as a man. He repeatedly referred to himself as a girl, telling his father to consider him a daughter, even confessing to Kohsuka that he desperately wanted to have breasts. So why the sudden change of heart?
Whatever the reason was, Hibari had disappeared for the past four months to "get rid of his weirdness", as Mr. Oozora had said.
It was strange, but ever since then, Kohsuka had been feeling down. He didn't know why. He should be happy that Hibari would no longer be acting like a weirdo. He wouldn't need to constantly remind himself that Hibari was a boy, he wouldn't need to worry about Hibari's seduction attempts, he wouldn't need to worry about being beaten up by Shiina at school for being so close to Hibari. So why was he so upset? Was he like Suzume; did he actually prefer Hibari as the weirdo he was? No, that was absurd.
But now that he thought back on it, he remembered the time when Mr. Oozora had the yakuza trainer Tatsugoro Sparta, also known as The Man From Spartan, come over to make Hibari masculine. The flounder-faced man has failed miserably, and Kohsuka had been relieved that Hibari hadn't changed. Was what Sabu said true? Was he actually glad that Hibari, the way he was, was in love with him?
Kohsuka shook his head. "No, no, no, no! No way! I'm a manly man! I like girls! GIRLS! Real girls with big breasts! And now I won't need to worry about being confused over Hibari anymore!"
Puffing out his chest, he marched out of his room. He found the others already up and eating breakfast. Mr. Oozora seemed especially cheerful, glad that his son would be coming home as a real man and not a perverted cross-dressing weirdo.
"Soon everything will be as it should be!" he announced happily, opening another bottle of sake.
Tsugumi sighed. "I still don't think it's fair to have forced Hibari into this agreement."
Mr. Oozora just waved it off. "Nonsense, he was the one who put the offer on the table. He drove a hard bargain, but it was well worth it."
At that moment, Suzume began crying. "I don't want Hibari to change! I liked him the way he was before!"
Mr. Oozora patted her head. "Don't worry, Suzume. Everything will be even better this way." He turned to his second daughter for support. "Right, Tsubame?"
The brunette hesitated. "I agree that things would be better if Hibari were normal, but I think he should have made that choice on his own."
Mr. Oozora slammed his palm on the table. "So, you'd be ok if he continued to wearing your bra and panties?"
Tsubume turned red. "F-Father!"
The yakuza boss suddenly spotted Kohsuka entering the room. "Ah, Kohsuka, my boy! Come over here. We got some things to do before Hibari arrives."
Kohsuka gulped. Something was telling him that this was not going to be pleasant. "Um, what's up, Uncle Oozora?"
Mr. Oozora placed several papers on the table, along with a pen and a stamp. "I've got some papers you need to sign and put your family crest on. Have a seat."
Kohsuka observed the pile of papers. "Ok, but what is it I'm signing?
"Nothing to be concerned about. Just sign."
Kohsuka picked up the top paper. "I think I should read it anyway."
Mr. Oozora's eye twitched. He pulled a grenade out of his pocket and held it up to Kohsuka's head. "Are you saying that you don't trust me?"
Kohsuka nearly wet his pants. To cover up his fear, he began laughing nervously and hysterically. "Oh, of course I trust you, Uncle Oozora! Of course I'll sign! I'd be happy to!"
Mr. Oozora was now grinning happily, as if he hadn't just threatened Kohsuka's life. "That's my boy! Now, if you'll just sign here!"
"Place your family crest here!"
And so it went with Mr. Oozora placing document after document for Kohsuka to sign and/or stamp in front of him, which the boy did with a false smile on his face. Finally, when the pile was finished, he handed the stack of papers to Sabu.
"Have those delivered and made official."
Sabu nodded. "It shall be done, Boss."
As he hurried off, Kohsuka looked back at Mr. Oozora with his fake smile still plastered on his face. "Um, U-Uncle, now that that's all out of the way, could you tell me what that was all about?"
Mr. Oozora patted Kohsuka on the back a little too hard. "Certainly! It was part of the agreement with Hibari. Kohsuka, my boy, you are now officially the heir to the Oozora Clan."
Kohsuka's eyes shrank down to small black beads in his head. "…huh?" A few moments of silence passed. "EHHH! U-U-Uncle, you can't be serious! I can't be a yakuza boss!"
Mr. Oozora wrapped an arm around him. "Of course not. You need to be trained up first. There's plenty of time for that."
Suzume's bottom lip trembled. "Does this mean the scary flounder is coming back?"
Her fear went by unnoticed. "But I don't want to be a yakuza boss!" Kohsuka cried.
Mr. Oozora's eyes became cold and angry. "Are you disgracing the title of the yakuza boss?"
Kohsuka quickly shook his head. "N-Not at all! I just prefer an ordinary life."
He was patted on the back again. "Oh, is that all? That's no problem. You can still have a normal life. Just look at me."
Kohsuka sweat-dropped. "Y-Yeah… But why me? I thought Hibari was your heir."
Mr. Oozora grumbled. "Like I said, it's one of the conditions for our agreement. Both Hibari and I signed a contract in our own blood. The agreement shall be honored!"
Something told Kohsuka that the nightmare was just beginning. "Um… you said, one of the conditions. What other conditions were there?"
Mr. Oozora crossed his arms. "Well, you're also an official member of this family." He said, nodding. "I've adopted you as my own."
Tsugumi clapped her hands together. "Oh, now you really are part of our family."
"I guess I have two brothers now." Tsubame added.
Suzume was the happiest of the bunch. She ran over to Kohsuka and hugged him tightly. "Yay! Now you're big brother Kohsuka!"
Kohsuka didn't know how he felt about this. "But, I'm already 18. You didn't have to adopt me. I'm an adult now." He feared he might have worded that wrong. "N-Not that I'm not happy about it!"
"It was necessary in order to name you my heir." Mr. Oozora told him.
The way Mr. Oozora was sweating nervously, Kohsuka sensed that there was more to come. "Is… is that all?"
The yakuza boss cleared his throat as he struggled to find his voice. "W-Well, the rest of it ties in with the next condition, but…" he grabbed a bottle of sake and gulped it down, "we have yet to have the wedding, but you and Hibari… are now officially married."
The cries of Kohsuka and the three girls echoed throughout the house.
"W-W-W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN HIBARI AND I ARE MARRIED?" Kohsuka shouted.
"Well, one of the documents you signed was a marriage certificate."
Kohsuka jumped up on the table, sticking his face right up into Mr. Oozora's. "How could this happen? We're both men! We can't get married?"
Tsugumi spoke up. "Actually, same sex marriage is allowed, you know."
"SHUT UP!" Kohsuka shouted at her before turning back to Mr. Oozora, grabbing his shirt, and shaking him. "Why would you do this? How could you agree to this?"
Mr. Oozora let himself be shaken, figuring that he deserved it. "That was the main part of our deal. A marriage between you and Hibari."
"I don't agree to this! And we haven't had a wedding, so we can't be married!"
"Weddings are really for show." Tsugumi told him. "They're the celebration of the marriage. They're not really necessary at all."
"STOP HELPING!" Kohsuka shouted at her. "Uncle, why would you allow this? I thought the point was to have Hibari no longer be a weirdo."
Mr. Oozora pushed Kohsuka off him. "I can deal with having my son being in a same sex marriage. It's not that uncommon. It's a huge improvement over having him pretend he's a girl. Now I simply have a gay son instead of a perverted cross-dressing sissy weirdo."
Kohsuka began throwing a tantrum. "No way! No way! I'm filing for a divorce right now!"
"You can't." Mr. Oozra told him, becoming completely serious. "You signed a contract. You and Hibari are legally and officially married. And if you try to leave, divorce, or cheat on him, the entire yakuza will hunt you down and kill you."
Kohsuka jumped back, shaking fearfully. "N-No… no way…"
"Yes way. Of course that means you won't be able to have children, so you'll just have to adopt when the time comes for the next heir to the Oozora clan to be needed."
At that moment, Sabu returned. "Boss, your son has arrived."
Mr. Oozora jumped up happily. "Really? Excellent! Lets go see how much of a man he's become." He gave Kohsuka a look of warning. "Come greet your new husband."
Kohsuka merely sat in the corner with a horrified look on his face. "Husband… my husband…"
In the end, Kohsuka had to be dragged outside by Seiji. As a limo pulled up, Kohsuka kept telling himself that this couldn't be happening. This was either a nightmare or a sick joke. He couldn't be married to another man. Why was this happening?
"Lift up that sign!" Mr. Oozora demanded of Seiji and Sabu.
They obeyed, and held up the 'Welcome Back, Hibari!' sign as the limo came to a stop. The door opened, and everyone expected a very manly Hibari to come out. They got quite a surprise when instead Hibari came out looking just as girly as ever. No, he was even more feminine. Dressed in a yukata, he looked ever bit like a beautiful young woman.
"I'm back!" he said in his girlish voice.
Mr. Oozora stood frozen in place, his excited smile still on his face and his eyes wide. It seemed as if seeing his son still as a girl, no, even more as a girl, had petrified him.
"Hibari!" Suzume cried, running forward to hug her brother.
Hibari picked her up and hugged her. "Hello, Suzume! I missed you while I was away."
"I missed you too, Hibari! I'm glad you didn't change."
"Oh, but I did change. Even though it may not seem like it." Hibari told her, giving one of his trademark winks. "Seems that things haven't changed much around here either. Tell me, how are things with your boyfriend?"
Suzume was beaming happily. "Katagiri and I are all lovey-dovey!"
"Glad to hear it. I want to be lovey-dovey too." he said, and winked at Kohsuka.
Like Mr. Oozora, Kohsuka also looked like he had been turned to stone, though he had more of a shocked expression on his face. He didn't react until Hibari walked up to him and wrapped his arms around him.
"Did you miss me, Kohsuka?" he whispered seductively. "My husband…"
There was a tick in Kohsuka's jaw as he found his voice. "Y-You're still… the same…"
Hibari smiled. "Not quite." Then he kissed Kohsuka, making the horrified teen's eyes bulge out. Once he pulled away, he turned to his sisters. "Come on, lets go inside and catch up."
As the others went inside, Mr. Oozora finally came out of his stunned paralysis. Running in after his son, he grabbed Hibari and turned him around.
"W-What the hell? What do you think you're doing?"
Hibari cowered away from him. "Oh no, Father is trying to violate me!"
Mr. Oozora fell over anime-style. "S-Stop saying such ridiculous things! What the hell is going on? You're still the same as before! Why aren't you all manly?"
Hibari put on an innocent look. "But, Father, why would you're daughter be manly?"
Mr. Oozora fell over again. But he recovered quickly, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a piece of paper. "We made a deal, damn it! We both signed it in our own blood!"
"I know," Hibari told him, "and I'm honoring our agreement. Look!"
He took off his yukata, revealing a bathing suit underneath it. It was a bikini, and it was very small, revealing a lot of skin. Blood came gushing out of Kohsuka's nose at the sight of it. Something was definitely different. He had seen Hibari wearing a bathing suit before. He had always had to wear the kind with a large bikini top that he could stuffed, and large baggy bottoms that hid the evidence of his true gender.
Not anymore though. Hibari's bikini top was filled with real women's breasts, a very nice size too. And the bikini bottom he was wearing revealed that something was clearly missing; something that no man should be without.
"I had a sex change operation!" Hibari announced happily. Everyone else fell over. Hibari gave them a confused look. "Hmm? What's wrong? Now I finally look like the girl I'm supposed to be. Of course, I still need to take the female hormones for a while, but soon I will officially be a woman." He grabbed his breasts. "These aren't implants either. I've been taking special hormonal pills and injections to make them grow. They're all natural."
Tsubame pointed at her brother with trembling hands. "S-So… these past four months, you were going through the process of… of…"
Hibari winked. "Becoming what I should have been all along."
So furious that his face was bright red, Mr. Oozora held the contract up in Hibari's face. "YOU VIOLATED OUR CONTRACT! YOU AGREED TO BEHAVE LIKE A NORMAL BOY!"
Hibari nonchalantly took the contract and looked it over. "It says that I agree to stop whatever behavior you consider to be weird."
Mr. Oozora nodded. "Yes, yes, and instead you're now behaving like an even bigger pervert! And you're still dressing up and acting like a girl!"
Hibari struck a pose. "I am a girl now. So everything that you consider to be weird before is ok for me to do now. Right?"
Mr. Oozora's face turned from red to purple. "Y-You… you used that as a loophole."
"I see." Said Tsugumi. "Instead of changing your behavior to match your body, you changed your body to match your behavior."
"Hibari is so smart!" Suzume cried happily.
Veins bulged out on Mr. Oozora's head. "Unforgivable. This is completely unforgivable. You have shamed me for the last time. I can't take it anymore!" He grabbed a sword from off the wall. "I must commit seppuku and end this!"
His two eldest daughters grabbed his arms to stop him. "Father, cut it out!" shouted Tsugumi.
"Yes, you're scaring Suzume!" Tsubame added.
Suzume began crying. "Wah! Daddy's leaving us! We'll be orphans! I don't want Daddy to die!"
That seemed to snap Mr. Oozora out of his moment of insanity and he began patting his youngest daughter's head. "Don't worry, Suzume. Daddy's not going anywhere. Besides, now I see what the real problem is." He charged at Hibari with the sword. "I MUST KILL THIS PERVERT AND PUT AN END TO HIS EVIL!"
"HIBARI, LOOK OUT!" Kohsaku shouted.
But he need not worry. Hibari once again displayed his superhuman strength by grabbing the oncoming blade and lifting his father up in the air with it, then bringing it down, resulting in Mr. Oozora doing a perfect split.
"Boss, are you ok?" Seiji and Sabu cried.
Unable to speak, Mr. Oozora motioned for them to help him up. Once he was on his feet again, supported by the two men, he pointed at his son. "This isn't fair. You twisted things around to work in your favor. I will not support this."
Hibari carelessly twirled his long hair around. "We already have more money than we can spend, so I just paid in advance. I also had all documentation that said that I was a boy changed to me being a girl. Look, I even had my birth certificate changed. See, here's a copy of it."
He held up a copy of his birth certificate. Mr. Oozora snatched it and looked it over. He didn't know how he had done it, but the document clearly stated that Hibari Oozora was female.
Crunching the paper in his hand, he looked ready to explode, but instead, he grabbed at his chest as if he were having a heart attack. That's when the hallucinations kicked in, just as they always did when he got too excited.
"It's the white croc." He muttered. "The white croc has come again."
Before him, his eyes were fixed on the imaginary albino crocodiles that were dancing around him. Mr. Oozora's eyes rolled up into his head and he began dancing around, singing the show's theme song.
"Oh no!" said Tsugumi. "Sabu, Seiji, quick!"
"On it!" they cried and ran out of the room.
They returned a few moments later carrying a large syringe. As Sabu held down Mr. Oozora, Seiji injected the large needle into his rear end.
A few seconds of silence passed by, then Mr. Oozora stood up, looking fine. Then a loud shattering noise was heard, seeming to come from within the yakuza leader.
"Boss, are you ok?" Sabu asked.
"Sorry about your son." Seiji added.
Mr. Oozora blinked once, twice, then burst out laughing. "Son? Ha, ha, ha! What son? I don't have a son? I only have daughters! Four wonderful, beautiful daughters! No sons, only four girls! Oh, but my third daughter, Hibari, just got married to Kohsaku. He's going to be the heir to the Oozora clan. I guess he's my son now! Yup! That's my only son! Otherwise, all I have are daughters! Ha, ha, ha!"
Tsugumi sighed. "Oh dear. It looks like Father has finally snapped."
Tsubume nodded in agreement. "Yup, he's lost it."
At the other side of the room, Kohsaku simply stared at the scene in disbelief. "How… did it come to this?"
Kohsaku had experienced some strange things at the Oozora household, but today was definitely one of the top five. He was glad that the day was finally over. He just wanted this day to end. Maybe when he woke up tomorrow, he would discover that this was just a bad dream, that he wasn't in a homosexual marriage, that Hibari was still away for his manly training, that Mr. Oozora hadn't finally lost it.
No, this was no dream. Everything that had happened today had really happened. He was actually married, to Hibari. Of course, his new 'wife' insisted upon still having a "happy wedding", but legally, it was already done.
Surprisingly though, he wasn't as upset as he felt he should be. He wanted to be, felt he should be, but he wasn't. Maybe he was happy about it. Yeah what was there not be happy about? He was married to a sweet beautiful woman.
"No, no, no!" he cried, shaking his head. "Hibari is a man! No matter what operation he went through, he's still a guy! There's no way I'm happy about this!"
"Or perhaps you merely don't want to be happy about this, but are anyway." someone spoke up.
Kohsaku turned to find Sabu standing directly behind him. Jumping back in surprise, he wondered for the umpteenth time why everyone in this household seemed to make a habit out of scaring him.
"W-What do you mean?" he asked.
Sabu's sunglasses shined as he studied Kohsaku. "You've been here for quite a while, Kohsaku. You show all the signs of being in love with Hibari. You constantly tell yourself that he's a guy and that you're not attracted to him, but your behavior and thoughts prove otherwise."
Kohsaku stamped his foot. "Are you saying I'm actually gay?"
Sabu adjusted his sunglasses. "Not necessarily. Love has nothing to do with a person's sex. We cannot help who we fall in love with. If we could, I would not have allowed myself to fall for the boss' daughter."
Kohsaku pointed at him. "Y-You're… you're crazy! I'm not like that!"
"Then let me ask you this, excluding the fact that Hibari is a man, how do you feel about him as a person?"
"Do you not flee from him merely because he is a boy? Would you evade his advances if he really was a girl?"
"T-That has nothing to do with this!"
"If you won't answer that, then answer me this, how many times have you wished that Hibari really was a girl?"
Kohsaku fell silent for a moment. "Geez, more times than I could count."
Sabu nodded. "And if he really were a girl, would you want to change anything about him?"
Kohsaku raised an eyebrow. "If he were a girl?"
"Yes, if he were a girl."
Kohsaku thought about it for a moment. Truthfully, no, there wasn't a single thing he would change. Even though Hibari was a man, there still wasn't anything he wanted to change about him.
"Not really. But that's besides the point, since he is a guy."
Sabu shook his head. "No, the point is that you're in love with Hibari in general. Not Hibari the boy, not Hibari the girl, simply Hibari."
Kohsaku could have sworn he heard something shatter within him. The color drained from his face and he collapsed to his knees. "It… it… can't… be…"
Sabu smirked. He lifted Kohsaku up and gave him a small push towards his room. "Just food for thought. Sleep tight, Kohsaku."
Kohsaku walked towards his room, dazed. "Y-Yeah… good night…"
He stumbled in his room and shut the door. A few seconds passed and he suddenly became aware of his surroundings. He screamed fearfully at the change his room had undergone. First off, it was twice as big. Apparently, someone had torn down the wall separating his room and Hibari's room, making the two rooms one big one. Both rooms, now one, had been completely redecorated to suit that of a married couple. Both his and Hibari's beds were gone, and instead one large queen size bed sat in the room. And laying down on it in a sexy pose, wearing black lacy lingerie, was none other than his new 'bride'.
"Kohsaku…" Hibari said seductively.
Kohsaku jumped back. "H-H-Hibari, w-what are you doing?"
He gave him a sexy look. "Isn't it obvious?" he asked, sliding one of his bra straps down his shoulder. "We are husband and wife now. It's only natural for married couples to do this kind of thing."
"Unfortunately, I can't bear you any children, but that also means we don't need condoms." He winked at him suggestively.
Kohsaku felt his stomach drop beneath him. Screaming fearfully, he tried to leave the room, but the door wouldn't open.
"Hey, help!" he shouted, pounding on the door. "Someone let me out!"
"Sorry, Kohsaku," came Sabu's voice from the other side of the door, "but I can't let you leave tonight."
"Come on!" Kohsaku cried.
"Kohsaku…" Hibari whispered, suddenly appearing beside him and hugging him from behind, "lets do it…"
He made a break for it, heading for the window, but it too was locked. Kohsaku picked up a chair to break it, but Seiji's creepy face suddenly appeared in the window, scaring Kohsaku away from it.
"Sorry, Kohsaku," Seiji told him, "but you can't escape your wedding night."
He felt Hibari press himself against his back. "Kohsaku…"
Kohsaku whirled around and Hibari used the opportunity to wrap his arms around him and kiss him. Kohsaku's eyes bulged out and the two toppled over, ending up on the bed.
Kohsaku pulled away, breaking the kiss. "No, no, stop, Hibari-kun!"
"You can just call me Darling."
Blue in the face, Kohsaku struggled as Hibari hugged him tightly. "Let me go! Let me go!"
Surprisingly, Hibari did. Kohsaku blinked in surprise, looking up at Hibari. He received quite a surprise. Hibari's usual playfulness was gone to be replaced by genuine sadness and sorrow.
"H-Hibari…?" he asked carefully.
"I'm sorry, Kohsaku." Hibari told him. "I really do love you, but it seems that no matter what I do, I just can't seem to get you to completely see me as a woman."
'That's because you're not.' Kohsaku thought. But then something occurred to him. "Wait, Hibari, did you get a sex change just for me?"
Hibari suddenly smiled happily. "Oh no, that was for me!" Kohsaku fell over anime-style. The smile left Hibari's face again. "But I did hope that it would help you to accept and love me." He wiped a tear from his eye. "But it seems that you've completely closed your heart to me."
Kohsaku stared at him for a moment. "Hibari…"
He pulled him into a hug. Now that Kohsaku could no longer see his face, Hibari smiled and gave his trademark wink to Seiji who had peeked in through the window.
"I'm sorry, Hibari." Kohsaku told him. "This is all just really strange to me. I'm only into girls, but then I met you and… and…" 'What the hell am I saying?' "I've just been very confused." 'Why am I saying this? Am I crazy?' "But, I think I really do… l-l-lo…"
Hibari pulled away and looked up at Kohsaku with half-lidded eyes. "Kohsaku…" he whispered, his lips slightly open and just begging to be kissed.
Slowly he moved his face closer to Kohsaku. He broke out into a nervous sweat as Hibari drew closer, his heart racing, and his brain screaming at him to run away.
As Hibari's lips pressed against his own, Kohsaku's mind started to go blank as he returned the kiss. In his head, the ending of his dream ran flew through his mind from the point where it had been cut off.
The spider continued reeling in Kohsaku the fly closer and closer. Kohsaku continued to struggle, but a tug from Hibari the spider pulled him right into the spider's embrace.
"I caught you, Kohsaku." Hibari told him.
Tears ran down Kohsaku's cheeks. 'And this is how I was drawn into the World of Weirdos.'
(A/N: Well, that ends it. I wanted to do a longer one, but this was the best I could do with only five episodes being subbed and not understanding what was being said during the other 30. I hope one day it is subbed, or completely fan-subbed. Hope you all had a laugh and enjoyed my story.)