Summary: Jeremy and Bonnie grapple with the constant tragedy present in their lives and struggle to pay respect to their happiness as well as their losses. Set after the funeral in 2.21.
Disclaimer: The characters are not my property.
Very soon after everyone returned to the Gilbert home, Jeremy went up to his room. Noticing his absence immediately, Elena followed him. She was scared that he was going to do something dangerous. She had noticed and was relieved for the change in him, but it seems the world was determined to beat him back to that dark place that had him attempting to take his life a couple of months ago. He reassured her that he was fine, that he just wanted to be alone and away from everyone.
John's death had marked the fifth time that Jeremy had known that he was going to lose someone. With Klaus still alive, Elena and especially Bonnie were still up in the air but the possibility was enough for them to count. He was familiar with the oppressive feeling that weighed him down as he sat on his bed and took off his tie, but he didn't think he would ever know how to fully manage it, how to deal with it and control the amount of hurt. But he was sure that the universe planned to give him plenty of chances to learn. This go around, even though he lost two people in one day, the weight of loss did not feel as heavy, but he did not view that as a good thing. And as if it wasn't enough that Jenna and John were dead, they were going to have to come up with a cover story. For as long as he lived in this town, he would have to cover the real cause of death of practically the rest of his family. He wasn't in the mood for brainstorming though. He would leave that to the experts, Stefan and Damon.
There was a knock on the door, and he knew who it was.
"Jeremy?" Bonnie called.
"Yeah." He has never sounded so calm after a funeral.
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah." He didn't look up when she walked in. He ran the tie through his fingers.
Bonnie slowly walked to him, and he inhaled and straightened. Two days ago, the day of the dance, she had been giving Elena her condolences about her birth mother's death. Today she gave it to both Elena and Jeremy about their aunt and uncle, or aunt and birth father in Elena's case. She took a seat next to Jeremy and looked at her shoes. "Elena said you wanted to be alone," was the first thing she said. She looked at him, and his face was long with bereavement.
"Yeah," he said. She did not take that as her cue to ask him if she should leave. He was glad for that.
"I'm so sorry, Jeremy," she said despondently, and she put one of her hands on top of one of his.
"Looks like you protecting me didn't work out too well, huh?"
He looked at her and his eyes were narrowed in that way that always made her swallow before she responded. She slowly shook her head and opened her mouth to speak, but he didn't give her the chance.
"You used your powers on me. You put a spell on me." He was getting upset, and he hoped he would not use this opportunity to make her the scapegoat for all the anger and resentment he was starting to feel at being back in this place again, this place where all he had left of someone were the memories. "Don't do that to me again, Bonnie."
Bonnie swallowed once more. "I was protecting you the best way I could." He smiled, but she took no comfort in it.
"Well you did it," he said nonchalantly. "I mean I guess it did work out. I live another day to bury two more people," he said and he stood and walked to the window.
Bonnie shook her head and looked at the floor. The atmosphere was thick with sorrow. It had been that way ever since Elijah took off with Klaus, and they were left in a smoking forest with three cooling corpses. Melancholy had been following all of them around since, and she could not imagine a day when it would be better, when they would move past losing four people in one day, when Jeremy would move past it, when she would move past it. She kind of hoped they never did. That way they'd already be in the right mood when the next tragedy struck.
Jeremy moved the curtains aside, opened the window, and surveyed his neighborhood. His neighbors had no idea how rampant death was in this house. Everything was so ominously still. "No more Uncle John dropping by for unwanted visits." He and his father were the only ones who never rolled their eyes when John showed up for a visit. He had given his life up to save Elena. It had not been enough that she would be walking around because of the fact that Damon had given her his blood. He had wanted her to be walking around as a human. Jeremy worked his throat. His eyes hurt because he hadn't been able to sleep the night before.
"I'm so sorry, Jeremy," Bonnie said again. She looked at his back. His posture was relaxed, but there was something different about it.
"I know," he said. He chuckled so softly that she didn't hear, though she did see his shoulders move. He chuckled because of the morbid thought that ran through his mind: Don't worry. I only have two more 'sorries' left. Perhaps after that, the universe would leave him alone. He didn't care much about his own death. Especially not today.
"I'm sorry about the spell too," Bonnie continued. She put her hand on the bed and leaned her weight on it. "If you'd come, you could've gotten hurt. Klaus might've captured you and killed you to make a point, or he could've turned you-"
"I have my ring, Bonnie," he said, turning to face her. He had the piece of crap and yet she seemed determined to keep it from being useful.
Bonnie was temporarily speechless at how much faith he had in the thing. "That ring can't save you forever," she said as if she was telling him something he didn't already know.
"It protects me from supernatural deaths and if I'd gone that's the worst that could've happened to my body: a supernatural death. I'd still wake up in time to bury Jenna and John."
Bonnie flinched at the crassness of his words. "I just wanted to be sure," she stressed. "Greta might've done something to you-"
"Do you think I feel better for not having seen her die?" he asked softly as he walked up to her and reclaimed his seat.
Bonnie moved her hand in order to give him room.
"You wanna talk about everything that could've gone wrong? Greta could've done something to you. Klaus could've done something to you." He became more incensed, his voice more frantic, as he continued. "He could've had vampire and witch allies hiding in the woods, ready to take out anyone who broke through. Considering how things played out, Elijah could've done something to you. And let's not forget the big one! You could've done something to yourself. You could've died out there!" He continued in a biting whisper, "You're not the only who runs through worst case scenarios, and you're seriously mistaken if you think the only reason I let you go every single time is because I don't have the power to lock you in a room and protect you from it."
She knew it was hard for him to deal with the magical part of her life that was a bit ugly. Today more than any other day, she wondered why he bothered to even try to deal with it. Why did he stay? Again he had lost people he loved, and staying with her was not going to make his life easier. Surely he realized that. She hated the pain, fear, and distress that had been a constant on his face ever since he had learned that she would have to use all of her energy in order to fight Klaus. Ever since that night, she had been waiting for him to leave her. She had realized this during their first night in the haunted house when he had decided to stay with her. She could not have been more surprised. She had given him an out. She hadn't done it consciously, but she realized when she woke up the next morning, and he was sleeping next to her that she had indeed opened the door for him to leave if he wanted to. And yet he had decided to stay, no time to reflect needed. That should have calmed her fears, but this tragedy in their lives, his life, had her more afraid than before. Her confusion had definitely increased. She supposed there was still time though, time for him to pull her aside for that special, final talk.
"Do you think your powers can save you forever, Bonnie?" he asked with a tinge of accusation. "No you don't," he answered for her. "If I remember correctly you were scared to death of which spell would finally kill you."
Scared and resigned. She looked away.
"And yet you go out there every day."
"It's different for you," she shot back, her eyes cutting to him.
"Because I have no powers," he responded calmly.
"Because you're human!" She practically yelled it. Anyone standing in the hallway would have heard. She left the bed and paced a couple of steps and then turned to face him. "You're mortal. Look…I don't know what to do with you…Jeremy…I really don't. It was wrong for me to do what I did. I know you had a right to be there. But when I made the decision…" she took a deep breath, "I wasn't thinking about that. All I kept seeing was you taking an opportunity when you saw it. And the last time you did that?" she asked softly, "You ended up in the tomb with Katherine."
That image would be seared in her head for a long time. He had looked delirious, his eyes practically rolling back in his head. She had been shaken to her core that night with the realization that Jeremy did not see the boundaries that she did: she was the witch, and he was the mortal; she did the saving and the risking, and he only listened and talked to her about it. He did not get involved ever.
Small frown lines appeared on Jeremy's forehead. He didn't understand why she was going back to that night.
"I know she's…was…your aunt. I know she's your sister." Bonnie was suddenly bereft of energy. Her arms hung limply at her sides. "But if something happened to you," she said as tears gathered in her eyes. She shook her head. "I'd never forgive myself. I wouldn't be able to live with it. You may be a Gilbert and your family may have this whole history with the supernatural world too…but we both know you wouldn't be this involved in everything if it wasn't for me. If it wasn't through me."
Jeremy set the tie down and went to her. Taking her face in his hands, he said, "That's my decision to make. How involved I get is up to me-"
Bonnie broke eye contact and inhaled sharply in immediate rejection of that notion.
He thought it was cute. "Just like I know that getting involved is your decision to make," he tilted his head to search for her eyes. "And I let you make it. Even though it's hard. Even though it scares the hell outta me."
She looked at his chest and focused on his crisp, white dress shirt. "I'm just having a hard time with the 'letting' part," she said with a little petulance.
Jeremy smiled. "Well we have to work on that because you can't lock me up every time things get crazy."
"You can't defend yourself," she protested tenderly, giving it one last shot, as she looked up at him.
He saw how she was struggling with this, with letting him that much into her world, with letting him take part in his world. "It doesn't matter. Sometimes, like last night, I just need to be there. It's important to me." And he kind of planned on changing the defenseless part. But first he would have to get Stefan and Damon, Bonnie, and basically everyone to stop thinking that vampire and witch power was called for in every situation. He didn't want to be on the frontlines every time, but there were times when those vampire and witch powers only served to complicate a simple situation. As happened with the tomb.
Bonnie's face contorted before his eyes, and he kissed her forehead. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and tried not to cry. She wasn't sure when she'd be able to stop if she did. She did not want to let him get as involved as he wanted to. A sob managed to escape.
"If anything happens to me, Bonnie, it won't be your fault."
"That's not the point," she cried. Her grip on the lapels tightened. "You scare the hell out of me," she finally confessed.
He lifted her chin so that she'd look at him. Her green eyes were blurry behind a wall of tears. He ran the back of his fingers straight down her chin to her neck, down to the decorative piece of her necklace.
Tiny bumps appeared on Bonnie's skin. His hands felt very soft. While he was focused on the path his hand was tracing, she was focused on him.
"Why?" he asked softly.
He was looking at her, and Bonnie was speechless. He was impossibly handsome which wasn't a descriptor she often used on a guy younger than thirty-five, his eyes were beautiful, eyelashes so long, and he wanted her to stand back and just let him risk his life whenever he felt like it. "Why are you here?" she asked instead of answering his question. She asked it before she could think it. "With me," she clarified, because while she had not planned to ask maybe ever, she knew that she could not let this moment pass without knowing.
"John's dead," she said hesitantly, "Jenna's dead, and…you want to stay with me?"
"Yeah," Jeremy answered slowly. "Why wouldn't I?"
Bonnie chortled at his question. He looked clueless. "I don't know, maybe because staying with me guarantees death and mayhem?" she asked with a little sarcasm. Did he really think she was a catch? Without her powers, yes. But with? Surely he could see what she was getting at.
"And you think breaking up with you would spare me from all of that," he said skeptically, trying to catch her thread of reasoning. "Did you already forget why we're standing here, dressed in black?" he asked with a small laugh. "My sister's a magnet for death and mayhem. Stefan's a magnet," he said seriously. "And Damon…" He didn't continue with that one. He had tried not to think about Damon and his involvement in John's death.
"I realize that, but not being with me would minimize the risks. It would be one less person you'd have worry about losing."
"Breaking up with you," he said, as if he were weighing the option. "And what about how I feel about you?"
Bonnie stepped away from him, frustrated. He was talking like it was so obvious that they should be together while she was wondering where the worth was for him in staying with her past this point. She walked past him to the bed, spread her dress, and sat down. She glumly played with the hem, and he sat next to her.
"I don't want to break up with you Bonnie," he said softly. She looked genuinely upset, and he was uncertain as to why this was so important.
"I thought you were gonna leave because of the Klaus thing." Her voice was small. She glanced at him and said, "After you learned about the fine print of me using my powers to fight him. And you just kept worrying, and then you brought up the fact that your last two girlfriends died, and I started thinking surely you wouldn't want to deal with that again. I wasn't thinking about it consciously, but…This time you can stop it before it happens. Save yourself the heartache. You know what I'm going to do, Jeremy, you know what my decision will always be. This Klaus thing isn't over; we haven't won anything. Not a damn thing," she realized as she thought the whole ordeal over. "And after him, if we outlast him, there'll probably be another one because that's how much this town, my life, our lives, sucks. But yours doesn't have to suck that badly. I keep waiting for you to realize that," she said hopelessly.
She wiped her eyes because it was getting difficult to see him through unshed tears. "After I faked my death, I kept waiting for you to tell me that you'd had enough. That you were sorry and that you cared about me, but…" Her voice shook.
"Hey." He shifted and put one hand on the bed and pulled her into a searing kiss with the other.
Bonnie felt it down to her aching toes. He never deepened the kiss and she didn't either.
He tilted his head, and her tears slid into the kiss and still he didn't stop. It was the first time they had kissed since the night before, and he suddenly had a desperate need for it.
Bonnie melted and there were so many butterflies in her stomach that she thought it would become unbearable at any moment. A wet smack interrupted the silence when he ended the kiss. She felt lightheaded, and it used to embarrass her until she realized that she could render him incoherent too. Still it was debilitating that he could scramble her brain like that, pleasingly so.
"…You couldn't deal with it anymore," she murmured, continuing. She lifted a shoulder. "Everyone has a threshold, Jeremy. A place they get to where they decide 'I'm going to put me first. I can only handle so much, and now it's time to look after myself.' Everyone has a limit: my mom reached hers…my dad reached his." She sniffled, and he wiped her tears. "I keep waiting for you to tell me that this isn't…worth it." That she's not worth the uncertainty, pain, and fear, the risk.
He held her as she cried. She's been preparing herself for Jeremy's breakup speech as best she could despite the battle she had been readying herself for a fight, she always had time to build some self-defense walls, even though she knew that no matter when he said it and no matter how delicate he tried to be, it would crush her all the same. She was in too deep. She knew that now.
"I'm not gonna leave you, Bonnie. I promise."
"Oh my God," she said in his neck. "That's great." She looked at him. "Now I'm your charity case."
"What?" he asked, amused for the first time since the night before.
"I don't want to be your charity case, Jeremy. I don't want your pity. I love you, and I want you to be-"
"Stop," he said, and it was a command. He wasn't sure if she heard what she had said, but he sure had, and he wasn't going to let her blow right past it. He didn't say anything, instead he let her figure out why he stopped her.
"Oh my God," Bonnie said, horrified. She leaned away, cursing her slip, baffled at the fact that she just let that out. That was not part of the wall-building exercises, but now that she had let it out, she needed to own up to it because it had been so easy to say it, and she was feeling good for having let it out. He, on the other hand, looked edgy.
Jeremy wanted her to say it again. Hope had already flourished in him, thus he prayed that she wouldn't chicken out because if she did, he was going to pick a fight.
"I love you."
She smiled, and the tension that had been building in him abruptly flew away.
"I love you, Jeremy." The confession was like a salve to her mind and her soul, but it was also dangerous. "I didn't plan on telling you."
He nodded. It didn't matter what she had planned because she had told him.
"I was planning to keep it to myself in hopes that if you broke things off that it wouldn't hurt too badly even though it would," she explained, sounding incoherent even to her own ears. The argument had made much more sense in her head, it still did, but watching him smile, watching him try to control his emotions, she would not take the words back for any assurance in the world.
"I love you too," he said thickly. "That's why I stay. I think you're amazing."
She couldn't not take him at face value, not when he was looking at her like that.
"I'm staying, I think it's worth it, because when everything's going to hell I look at you, and the ride isn't so bad. You're a good part of my life, Bonnie, and I'm not gonna let the bad parts influence how I deal with the good parts. I've done that before, and it did nothing but make things worse."
Bonnie smiled so wide, she thought her face would crack. "I think you're amazing. And funny. And really cute."
Jeremy rolled his eyes and kissed her before she could continue with the compliments.
She laughed. "I mean it," she said when she came up from the kiss. "I don't know how you do it. How you deal with what I do." She wiped her tears.
"I can give you some tips for future reference," he said lazily.
She cocked her head and asked with a wry look, "Was that a dig at me?"
"Did it sound like a dig at you?" he asked.
He was on cloud nine from her love confession. It was the last thing he had expected, considering, but it was par for the course with their relationship. He had meant what he had said about not letting the bad things influence the good. Or the possibility of something good, which is why he had pursued her amidst Katherine, moonstones, and the arrival of Original vampires. It was kind of his motto ever since his parents died: Life is Shit, Might As Well Take Risks. He has been in the process of tweaking the motto to include good risks ever since Anna died and he tried to become a vampire. He knew that putting herself out there, especially if it left her exposed and vulnerable, was something Bonnie avoided doing in order to survive and navigate this life which is why he was floored that she had admitted that she loved him, slip or not.
Bonnie fought her smile even though it was a losing battle. She was happy. She was happy, and she wasn't going to compartmentalize it or try to tame it. Something bad had happened, but something good had happened too. She had easily gotten into the habit of playing down her moments of happiness in order to focus on the bad or contemplate the heavy thoughts. What she was feeling right now, this moment between her and Jeremy, was too precious to put anything else above it. She wasn't adept at doing it, but she was going to let their small happiness coexist with the dark gravity of losing Jenna, John, Jules, and Greta.
"This is my life too," she said, tugging at Jeremy's lapel, and she was crying; she was talking to the powers that be, whoever kept handing out these reality checks, letting them know that she knew she was breaking the rules, she was happy when they had just come from a funeral, when more people were going to get hurt and soon, when she still could not cast many spells without bleeding after. She was happy when she was supposed to be grim and stuck in her head, readying herself for the next task, the next moment when she would have to risk her health and her life. She couldn't help it, didn't want to help it this time. She did not want to go back to hiding how happy Jeremy makes her, like she did in the beginning, in fear that it wouldn't last. She was still afraid, afraid of losing him, losing him to death or to change, afraid that this would be snatched from her, but she wanted to bear all of it, to him if to no one else, so she plead with the powers that be to understand, to let her be happy with her boyfriend, this guy who was everything she had stopped thinking about.
"Yes it is," Jeremy agreed, his voice breaking. He knew she wasn't talking about the kissing incident. He knew she was trying to cope with her contrasting feelings. Grief and happiness. Dread and relief. He was overwhelmed too, but he knew ho w he wanted to express everything he was feeling, so he gave her the push she needed. He kissed her deeply; he cried with her, and he tried to pour just how much he loved her in that one, long kiss.
Their breaths came in shallow puffs when they broke apart, and Jeremy moved on top of her. He walked on his hands and knees, and she followed his lead, moving back until she was lying down on his pillow. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he touched her nose with his.
"You wanna stay up here?" she asked softly.
He didn't want to go back downstairs to Stefan being there for Elena until he remembered that he had lost Jenna and John too and only then would he tear his eyes from Elena and glance at him. He didn't want Damon standing next to him when where he really wanted to be was next to Elena. He didn't want Alaric having to split his grieving three ways. He didn't want Caroline surveying the situation for when to be next to Elena and when she thought Bonnie needed more help with him. He didn't want Bonnie dividing her attention either. "Yeah," he answered.
She touched the area where his hair parted and she ran her fingers through the dark locks, towards the right. She opened her legs, and he settled between them. She shifted and slightly pulled her dress up so that the material wouldn't strain against her thighs.
He continued where they had left off, kissing her desperately and she matched his intensity. He left her lips for a brief reprieve, and she lifted to recapture them. The pads of her fingers massaged his scalp as she messed up his hair, and Jeremy felt his member swell in his boxers. Her other hand roamed the terrain of his back, and he started to nibble her ear after she breathed into the kiss. One of the best discoveries he's made during their relationship is that Bonnie's ears are sensitive. She needed to be worked up first, but once she was if he nipped there, and swiped his tongue there…"Jeremy!" she chided happily, squirming beneath him. Her legs kicked between his, but he didn't let up.
Bonnie tried to melt into the mattress as he drove her to a tizzy. "God, stop it!" she admonished as she simultaneously pushed and pulled him. Her stomach danced and her center clenched as he revved her libido with his ministrations. Finally truly unable to handle what his mouth was doing to her, she turned her head to the left thereby knocking him off her ear. He laughed, and it was a beautiful, guttural sound that made her heart flip. "You don't listen," she teased.
"You wanna do something about it?" he asked flirtatiously. He moved off of her and started taking off her shoes.
Bonnie had the dirtiest thought at his question. She wiggled her toes when they were finally free.
Jeremy smiled at her movements while taking his jacket off. He let it fall next to them, and when he moved to reclaim his position she flipped him over, knocking the wind out of him.
Bonnie was excited as she got comfortable on top of him. She was a little out of breath from maneuvering his body. "Yes, I do wanna something about it." She settled her sex on his fly, and she ran her hand over his chest and stomach. She glided them up his arms and pinned his hands in place. Her necklace swung to and fro from her movements, and Jeremy shifted beneath her even when he had told himself he wouldn't. It wasn't a small shift either; he lifted her off the bed with his hips. When she landed, she felt the change in his pants. His erection was more prominent. They had not done more than heavy petting, and was it ever heavy the first night at the burial house, but Bonnie had the surest feeling that they were going to do more today. She leaned down and made out with him.
Jeremy was feeling very hot in his dress shirt. She was sitting on his erection, and he needed her to move. He stirred his hips again, this time on purpose and he kept at it. It didn't take long for her to start grinding against him. He slipped his hands from her hold with no effort, and he held on to her thighs as she moved.
Desire pooled in Bonnie's underwear as she humped him. She kissed his cheeks, his forehead, and his Adam's apple. "I want you," he said beneath her. His throat moved under her lips, and his voice broke through her underwear to stimulate her pussy.
"I want you too," she told him as she caressed his face. She bit her lip to hide her smile because she had mentality added 'now' to end that sentence.
Jeremy kissed her and flipped their position so that he was back on top. "Are you sure?" he asked. A nanosecond later, he wanted to clarify. He wanted to know if she was sure that she wanted to do it now. And if there was fear in his voice, it was because he dreaded her going, 'well, maybe…'
"I'm very sure," she reassured him even as her heart melted at his gentlemanly ways. "I love you." She moved her hips to underline everything she had just said.
He kissed her full on the lips and his hand found its way under her dress. Their tongues met, and he lay next to her as they danced, cradling her head in the crook of his elbow. Bonnie bent her left leg at the knee and enjoyed the sensation of Jeremy stroking her right inner thigh. He kept coming so close to her panty line only to move back down. She threaded her hand through his hair and deepened the kiss, and he stroke her other thigh. He ran her hand up to her knee and back only this time he did touch her panty line. She tried to stay still out of some ridiculous notion that he might stop if she moved. He must have sensed her stiffen because he smiled in the kiss.
Jeremy slowed the kiss down as he moved her panties to the side, and Bonnie's shoulder twitched in reaction because he managed to catch some pubic hair, and he accidently pulled on them when pulling her underwear aside.
"Just relax," he soothed.
She would've responded if he hadn't chosen that moment to start rubbing her. He kissed the corner of her mouth, and she turned her face into his shoulder as he set a rhythm and built on it. He showered her neck with attention as he coated her pussy with her flowing juices. He massaged the inside of her outer labia and the sheets rustled when Bonnie moved.
"Look at me," he said sensually because he wanted to see her face, wanted to see her in the throes of pleasure. She tore her head away from the safe spot and opened want-filled green eyes to him. The smile slipped from her face when he started to rub her clit in wide circles. Her mouth formed an 'o'; she closed her eyes and lifted her chin.
The things she felt when she would touch herself felt better when it was Jeremy's hand evoking them. Her clit started feeling sensitive, and her pussy started to clench. She breathed deep and let the leg that was bent fall sideways, opening herself to his nimble fingers. Her eyes flew open when she felt his hand leave. When he laughed, she wanted to smack him. "What are you doing?" she asked hazily.
"Hold on," he answered, and he moved her dress up to her waist, exposing her sex to him. It was like an offering. The panties, navy blue, squeezed against her lips, making her pussy appear puffy and puckered. He licked his lips.
Bonnie almost choked on her saliva at the look in his eyes. He had looked at her desirously before, but this was more, this was ravenous, and she loved it, loved how sexy it made her feel. She grabbed the sheets next to her head and spread her legs wider. She didn't miss the smile as he went down. She bit her lip and watched him lick her pussy from bottom to top. She curled her toes as he repeated it a couple of times.
Jeremy spread her lips and looked at the pink of her pussy and how the lips of her labia were the darkest parts. He flicked them with his tongue and trapped them in his mouth, tugging softly. He grazed her hairy mound and traced the corners of her pussy.
While he was on the left, Bonnie nudged him with her thigh because she wanted him to get back to what he was doing in the beginning. He complied and resumed tonguing the length of her slit. He soon shortened the journey of his tongue and increased the pace. Bonnie rolled her hips against his mouth, and he moved his head in tune with her. He held on to her thighs as he noisily ate her out. Her eyes were narrowed, and she was staring at the ceiling, her eyebrows raised, facial muscles relaxing and tensing as her orgasm built. He sucked and slurped, and she had a distant thought that this might be too noisy. "God," she choked out. Her feet were firmly planted on the mattress as she grinded more insistently against his face. She brought her lips together as if to whistle but in this instance, she was trying to breathe. Her stomach felt like it was going to cave in on itself, and she was going to come.
Jeremy reveled in the taste of her succulent flesh. He lapped it as the bed quivered under him due to her gyrating. He swallowed her salty lube as it flowed out, and he moaned. He licked his index finger and slowly inserted it inside of her. She tensed at first and then she began to relax. He watched her as he did it, mouth and nose covered in her fluid. He began to finger her and continued to tongue-bathe her pussy. She was tight, and he curled his index in a come here motion each time before he took it out.
Bonnie's body was on fire, and the bedroom door locked of its own accord. She felt her control over her powers loosen and the air became just a little bit hotter. She loved everything he was doing, and she didn't want it to end. He introduced a second finger, and her feet slid up and down on the mattress. She lifted her head and craned her neck to see. He moaned into her, and she dropped back down, a weightless mass of nerves.
She wasn't noisy. She mewled and whimpered, whined and fussed, and Jeremy's erection strained against its confines at the erotic sounds. Her thrashing and subdued wailing made the moment more intimate somehow, but it was her breathing that would be the end of him, he was sure of it. Her breaths were curt, loud, uneven, and halting. His dick pulsated and pre-cum oozed from the tip. He pumped his fingers in and out of her, still curling them before bringing them out and his tongue flew over her clit.
Bonnie found the whole thing unbearable, and she thought she was going to lose her mind. She grabbed his head with both hands and tried to somehow fuse his head with her pussy. She fisted a chunk of his hair and drove his head as she humped his face with relish. She turned her head to her right and her mouth was slack, saliva gathering to spill out as she fucked his face. "Uhnn," she whined, and her breaths came out shakily because she was going to come. She attempted to swallow her saliva, but she did a messy job. It was as if she was losing control of her motor functions, but she couldn't care less, because she could feel what was going on down there, and Jeremy's tongue and fingers were going to break her apart. There was an insistent pressure on her lower stomach, and she felt like she needed to pee, but it was better than that. Jeremy made the come here motion one more time, and it was as if he summoned her orgasm because she came all over his face. Her eyes shut tight, and her mouth opened wide as she inhaled deeply. Her toes curled so hard, her left leg started cramping as her orgasm gushed out of her.
"Shit," Jeremy said in wide-eyed bewilderment as she squirted, but he didn't waste time, he went back down and gulped what she gave. He fingered her faster, curled his fingers again, and a short spritz of come leapt out as if from a fountain.
"Ah!" she yelled sharply, and she pulled hard on his hair, and he groaned against her pussy at the pain, and she locked his head between her thighs. "My leg," she cried, and her eyes were watery because she had never felt so good in her life.
"That hurt a lot," he said passionately when he came up. It was a reprimand, a compliment, and a plea because he had kind of liked it. He smiled because she was shaking, and she was looking at him from the side of her eyes.
"My leg is cramping," she said falteringly, and her words kind of ran together. She closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath.
"Which one?" he asked as he eyed both of them. When she moved her left leg, he grabbed it and started rotating her foot, not having a clue whether or not what he was doing was helpful.
"I just need to walk on it," she said, but she made no move to get up. Tiny aftershocks rocked her.
He held her ankle and pushed her foot back, and he knew he was doing something good when she jerked it. He couldn't contain the proud beam on his face. She not only came, she squirted, and she not only squirted, her foot cramped up.
Bonnie breathed easier when the pain in her foot faded away. "That was amazing," she said when he crawled on top of her.
"You were amazing," he told her, and it was a feat to talk because his dick was becoming unbearably stiff. "You really were," he insisted when she smiled modestly. "No girl's ever done that before."
Embarrassment set in as Bonnie remembered what she did. "Oh yeah, I'm kind of sorry about that."
Jeremy laughed heartily. "Kind of sorry?" She shrugged in the cutest way.
What could she say? He had given her the best orgasm of her life. How could she be completely contrite about wetting his bed sheets?
"You don't even need to be kind of sorry. I liked it," he slurred.
Bonnie covered her face as she wondered if she could come from his voice alone. Maybe one day.
Jeremy shifted to accommodate his uncomfortable arousal. "You pulled my hair," he said, and he hoped it didn't sound random. He just wanted her to notice. He wanted her to do it again without his having to ask.
Bonnie peaked between her fingers and saw the smile on his face as he unbuttoned his shirt. "That doesn't sound like much of a complaint, Mr. Gilbert." And then she was distracted when her eyes traveled south. There was a pronounced bulge in his pants. He sat down in order to take off his shoes, and Bonnie took the opportunity to kiss his shoulders. His skin was very warm where she touched him, and she kissed the length of his spinal column. Having taken his shoes off, he turned around and kissed her. He got on his knees and unzipped her dress. Once he had it off, he unclasped her bra and feasted his eyes on her breasts. He laid her back down and proceeded to suck on them. She held his head as he nursed himself on her breasts, suckling her nipples and circling her dark areolas with his tongue. He worked her up to a fever pitch again as he squeezed her modest orbs.
She pulled on his hair emphatically, and he came up for the kiss she wanted. He took off his pants and she attempted to take off her necklace. Unfortunately, her hands were a little weak and the clasp was too small in that moment and he got rid of his pants before she could finish, so he started to stroke her clit up and down with this thumb. She tried to keep to what she was doing, sticking her tongue out to better help her concentrate, but her neck started getting stiff so she gave up and focused instead on what he was doing. His thumb moved fast against her sensitive nub, and she was going to come again.
Jeremy licked his lips as he hastily fiddled her button. Her legs spread wider; she was quiet and he felt the air around him condense as her desire grew. She turned her head to the right into the drool she'd created and grabbed the sheets, her eyes were closed and she was frowning, and her chin was quivering. He applied more pressure on her clit and increased his pace while trying not to become careless about it. "Mmmm," she moaned, and she drew her legs up and down. Jeremy's dick throbbed, and his nostrils flared as he watched her slowly unravel.
"Come for me, Bonnie. Look at me."
"Mmm." A line of sweat ran down the valley of her breasts as she looked at him. Her face was grimaced as if she was going to cry.
"Are you gonna come for me?"
"Yes," she whispered helplessly. She closed her legs as the pressure built.
"No, keep them open," he said and pushed one of her knees down.
"I can't keep them open, Jeremy," she lifted her head to argue even as she did what he told her. She suddenly gasped, her breasts pushing out gloriously, and she came, bucking as she did.
She closed her legs around his hand, and he did his best to keep stroking her.
"Mmmm," she moaned as she lurched. "Oh my God," she said breathlessly.
Jeremy let her juices coat his thumb and then sucked them off. He then slipped his boxers down, his dick springing up. He got off the bed and grabbed a couple of tissues in order to wipe off the pre come.
Bonnie opened her eyes when he grabbed his pants to look for his wallet, and she had to lift her head up to make sure she was seeing what she thought she was seeing. He was long enough, that's not what she was gawking at. His girth had her questioning if maybe her recent orgasm was messing with her vision.
Jeremy's eyes flicked up to her as he rustled through his wallet for a condom. She was impressed by his package, and his heart beat faster at that. She asked, "Are you kidding?" and he smiled a slow smile even as he flushed. He pulled out two condoms and slipped one on.
"Jeremy," Bonnie said carefully when he got back on the bed, because she couldn't not say something. She was very excited for him to try and fit that inside of her though. "God." Please go slow, she mentally added.
Jeremy leaned over her. "Ready?"
She nodded too enthusiastically, mute.
He chuckled and started rubbing against her pussy, taking her off guard. Even though he wanted to come more than anything, his balls tight, he rubbed his length on her pussy. The muscles in his back strained in his effort to restrain himself. He kissed her, and she made out with him as she relaxed and rubbed herself against him. When her hips came down at one point, he fixed the head at her opening and he pushed slowly. She contracted, and he told her to relax and that it was okay. He started kissing her ear as he maneuvered the head inside of her.
Bonnie held on to his shoulders and tried her hardest to relax. She closed her eyes and tried to let her bottom half go.
Jeremy looked at her and saw how she was mentally working on relaxing to let him in, and he was suddenly overcome with emotion. He loved her so much. He got more than the head in, and she started to tense despite her effort.
"Ow," she said, her eyes flying opened and she moved away from him a little.
"It's okay," he reassured her, and he stilled his movements. He was dying. Perspiration doused his forehead and it was like needles were picking his skin. He kissed her and whispered more words of support. He buried his face in his pillow.
Bonnie knew something wasn't right. "What's wrong?" she asked breathlessly.
"I can't," he said, his voice taunt. He lifted and got rid of the condom. He started jerking off. He wasn't going to make it.
"Don't!" Bonnie commanded, she got up and grabbed his hand, halting his movements.
Jeremy almost came at the authority in her voice, her action, just the whole thing. How embarrassing would that have been to just start shooting right there? "I can't wait anymore, Bonnie." It's starting to hurt, he mentally added.
"I know," she said, and she made him lie down. She wanted him to come inside her, but that obviously was not going to happen, but she wasn't going to just let him jerk off either. She wanted to be the one to make him come.
"Bon, you don't-" He swallowed his words because she started licking his dick like it was a popsicle. He hissed and tried not to fist her hair.
Bonnie slowed her movements so that she would be better coordinated. She had acted impulsively; she really didn't know what she was doing. She continued to lick, and she wanted to take her time, but she remembered that he was on the brink. She took as much of him into her mouth as she could.
Jeremy fluffed the pillow under his head so that he'd be able to watch. She traced the veins on his cock and took him in her mouth again. She kept going down until she started gagging. "Bonnie," he said and it sounded like a warning. I need you to suck me off. She could take all the time she needed later. He took a chance and started guiding her. "Just bob your head," he encouraged. "Mmm." He fervently licked his lips.
She had sometimes wondered what she would be doing with her tongue the first time she gave a blowjob. She had gotten tips from Elena and Caroline of course, but she still sometimes worried. It didn't escape her that she just naturally flattened her tongue against his shaft just like the girls had told her. They had also told her of some tricks, but she didn't have time for that kind of experimenting, and she was sure Jeremy didn't care for things like that at the moment. She held the base and continued oscillating. She started to feel a tightness in her jaw; it was starting to lock, so she came up but let her hand take over. She stroke him as she moved her jaw around.
"You have to relax," he barely managed.
"I'll remember that next time," she said suggestively. Not ceasing the motion of her hand, she added her mouth back to the mix. Her mouth followed her hand down and then her hand followed her mouth up as she gave him a blowjob and a handjob.
She slurped and her mouth made gaseous noises, and Jeremy spread his legs wider. She mercifully increased her speed, and he knew he was going to come. He grunted. "Bonnie. Hnng." He slipped his hand through her hair and kept it at the back of her head as she sucked him off. "I'm gonna come," he ground out.
"Bon-" And he erupted in her mouth, his grip on her head tightening.
Bonnie jerked back at the sudden onslaught on the back of her throat, but she quickly swallowed and tried to capture everything. It didn't taste bad at all.
Jeremy groaned as his thighs trembled. She wiggled her tongue on his frenulum, the underside of the head and his eyes drifted close. "That feels good, that feels really good."
Bonnie flicked it enthusiastically, a big smile on her face.
"Jenna's not dead," Jeremy said softly.
They were laying down on some of his clothes that he'd taken out of his closet so they wouldn't be on the wet sheets. They faced each other, legs entangled, and Bonnie's hand hasn't left his cock since they got in this position. She caressed it with her index, middle and ring fingers while he played with her brown nipple, rolling and brushing it.
"She's still on campus, cooling down until she's ready to come back, and when she comes back I'll talk to her because it might be easier for her to hear everything from me. And John's not dead. He never came back. He's still in Mississippi." His heart constricted painfully. "I just needed to say it," he said, looking at Bonnie desperately as tears pricked his eyes.
"Jeremy." She quietly pronounced his name and touched his cheek. Her heart broke at the absolute desolation in his eyes.
"I'm tired," he said. "Bonnie, I just-"
"I know," she said and she gathered him in his arms. He hugged her tight and he soon started to cry. Big shudders racked his body, and she shook with him as tears ran down her cheeks. "I'm gonna miss Jenna." She kissed his head and held him close.
Now Elena would be the second one up in the morning instead of the third. With the deaths of Jenna and John, the phone calls to the house from family members checking up on them had gone down drastically. No one would be calling to ask how they're doing and the thought filled him with the deepest sorrow.
"It'll be okay," she tried to reassure him. "I don't know how and I don't know when, but it has to be okay again." It was a prayer.
"There's no one left to check in on us. No one that matters." He wondered why this happened, if there was a purpose or if his life would be filled with loss until he died, probably before he graduated.
Bonnie had nothing to say to that. She thought of her father and all of a sudden she wanted nothing more than to hug him and never let go. All of a sudden, and not for the first time, she never wanted him to acknowledge her heritage. "You'll make it through this," she said, smoothing his cheek. "You both will. And I'll be there every step of the way, I promise."
He considered her for a while and then asked, "How do you do it? How have you not started drinking after all this time, after all these decisions, after all of this…fucking change?"
There were times when Jeremy cursed a lot. She knew this from the times she spent at the Gilbert house and the few times he had come over to her house with Elena and Jenna. He didn't curse much in her presence, but there were times when he did and she tended to find it hot, probably because it was so rare. She smiled. "I drank once. The night Caroline turned into a vampire, I drank until a blacked out. I nearly died from the hangover," she said, thinking back.
He smiled and ran his hand down her back. "Ever smoked pot?" He traced the curve of her butt.
"Mmm, yes," she admitted. His eyebrows rose inquisitively, and she continued, "Once. With Elena, Caroline, and Tyler. Matt didn't participate though I know he's done it once since then. Tyler brought it."
"Elena got high?" is all he took from that.
"You got high," he said gleefully like he had learned a forbidden secret.
Bonnie rolled her eyes. She then asked him seriously, "Do you want to drink right now?" She knew he never had dependability problems with either drinking or drugs; he just liked to do it a lot after his parents died.
Jeremy licked his lips. "A little. But I won't. I made myself a promise. You're lucky. You can channel all of this and let it out through your powers."
"That's true," she said absently.
"It's just hard."
"I know." She played with his ear and gave him a kiss. "If you ever wanna knock a couple back, call me."
He smiled. "You won't do it. You're gonna focus on preparing for Klaus." He traced her lips with his thumb.
Bonnie closed her eyes. "I don't want to. I don't want to take on something like that. Again. And he's a hybrid, and I'm not sure what that means." She felt like crying.
"I know." He lifted and covered her with his body. "We'll figure it out. I won't let you drown."
Her smile started out slow but it widened considerably. She didn't know how he snuck up on her, but she couldn't imagine being without him now. "I love you so much, Jeremy. I won't let you drown either," she vowed.
His brushed his lips against hers before turning it into a full blown kiss. She snaked maneuvered her hand between their bodies to get at his dick again. She was getting a real liking for touching it. Jeremy gave her the space she needed, and she pumped him to full erection while they kissed. He sighed contentedly and enjoyed the feeling of her hand enclosed around his cock. She stretched him out on the bed, and he closed his eyes.
Bonnie sat next to him and was taken in by his face as she handled him. She felt his cock jump when her thumb brushed the engorged the head, and she smiled and added that to what she was doing, regularly grazing the tip until it started dripping.
Jeremy opened his eyes when the bed shifted, and he watched her get between his legs and lap up what she was bringing out of him. He breathed deeply as she kissed his cock all over. He always liked watching the girl as she gave him a blowjob, and this was no exception. She started to lick only the mushroom head of his cock, her tongue wide and flat, frequently coddling his frenulum. "Aw," he moaned. "Oh my God." He was mesmerized, his breath shuddering out of him. She stiffened her mouth and took him in and out, and she hardened her tongue as she swirled it around the head. "God," murmured, the sight of her pink tongue appearing and disappearing serving to arouse him even more.
Bonnie slowed her movements, slowly and sensually making love to his cock, taking her time. She heard him continue to invoke God's name like he couldn't believe what he was seeing. She went with what felt right, keeping a firm grip on the base of his cock but focusing all of her attention on the head. She twirled her tongue around the stiff flesh, really tasting it, releasing herself to what she was doing, how much she was enjoying it, and the sounds he was making above her. Her own secretion streamed down her pussy. She started to jerk him off with the tips of her fingers while suctioning the head of his cock.
"Ah, Ah. Jesus." His voice was shaky, the vacuum feeling making his eyes roll. His ball sack tightened and lifted, and his heart sped up. She could make him come if she kept that up. He closed his eyes and let her go, hoping he'd remember to not let her finish him off. He breathed faster as his world shrunk. She brought him to the precipice, and she dangled him on the edge. It took all of his willpower to stop her. "Baby, stop. Stop," he said desperately. He grabbed his cock so that she'd move away, just to prove to his brain that he really did mean to stop her.
Bonnie was a little upset. She had wanted him to come in her mouth. However, the displeasure faded when he kissed her. He told her to lie down and he slipped on a condom. Her stomach coiled in anticipation. This time they weren't stopping until he put it all in.
This time, Jeremy propelled his hips little by little until she swallowed all of him. He shuddered when he was in, needing to collect himself.
Bonnie's pussy spasmed around him, and she had tears in her eyes. She had nodded and braced herself when he had hit her barrier, and the pain had been slight but she'd quickly focused on how full she felt. She trembled and whimpered as she adjusted to the unfamiliar intrusion. He was watching her, and she was watching him too.
Jeremy leaned down and cocooned her in his arms. Their foreheads touched, and his strokes were long and drown out. He moved his hips, almost pulling out of her each time and then slowly sliding into her slippery walls again, his dick snug in her tight pussy.
Bonnie's breath hitched every time. She wanted this feeling forever. She hooked her legs high on his back and she gasped, her eyes widening, when he went in deeper.
Jeremy grunted and hid his face in her neck, inhaling her scent. She put on hand on his back and one on the back of his head, and he used his thighs and hips to propel himself and make love to her.
He lifted himself a little, stretching his arms to hold himself up, and he watched her.
She couldn't break eye contact as he repeatedly filled her up. He leaned down again, and she held on to his thighs when he folded them even more, reducing the amount of space they were taking on the bed. Bonnie felt like he was putting them in their own protected bubble. She moved her legs up to her chest which led to him getting a better angle into her pussy, and she moaned deep in her throat. She pulled on his thigh to tell him she wanted it and fisted his hair.
"Jesus," Jeremy whispered roughly. His made his thrusts more deliberate, drawing out their orgasm. He felt her breasts, crushed against his chest. He rotated his hips on each thrust and his name fell from her lips, the sound sweet to his ears.
He kissed her, and Bonnie flexed her toes, feeling that her orgasm was coming. "Jeremy," plead. "I'm…"
"I know," he managed. He knew she was going to come.
He knew what she meant, and he was taking there, and she has never felt closer to someone.
Jeremy rocked deeper into her once, twice, three times, and she cried out, coming and squirting on his abdomen. She pulled on his hair while in the clutches of her orgasm, and Jeremy came, emptying himself into the condom. He continued to pump into her, his movements losing their coordination as she shot lines of come.
Bonnie was at the mercy of her spasms as her pussy milked his dick and her stomach clenched tightly.
She started to cry as they held each other in the position, and Jeremy was deeply moved and his heart swelled with all he felt for her, all he wanted to do for her and give her. He wanted to protect her, he wanted to hold her up; he wanted to protect every part of his life he was left with. He was the only one left to protect his sister, even from Stefan, yes, Stefan who no matter how many times he punched his brother for what he did to Elena, that was his brother, and he would never put him above Elena, no matter what he did. Well she was his sister, his only family and he was the only one left to do what John was very willing to do. That was the very last time Stefan's relationship with his brother was going to be more sacrosanct than his sister, him, and Bonnie. Stefan and Damon already grew up in Mystic Falls. Stefan has grown up in Mystic Falls many times over. It was their turn, and Jeremy was going to salvage what was left of it with anyone who would help him, and that included helping Bonnie take down Klaus and Elijah. It was their turn, and they were here first.