Karofsky stood behind trailer A10, his arms crossed. He tapped his foot anxiously. Kurt was late. He had no idea what kind of torture was in store from Kurt, but he knew that it would be just that- torture. He could hear the minute warning bell ringing from the main school building. All around him, students were rushing into their classrooms. A freshman got her flip-flop caught in a hole in the concrete, and had to go back to put it back on before she could continue on. The bell rang. Still no Kurt. Karofsky checked his left wrist, where he normally wore a watch, but found nothing there except the thin, pale wrist.
Suppose Kurt never showed? Karofsky wasn't sure how he could function as a different person. He would never be able to figure out Kurt's class schedule or understand all the inside jokes he and his friends had. It would take months before he would get used to being under six feet tall, with long, thin arms and legs. The strangest part of all, though, would be fitting into Kurt's relationship with Blaine. Karofsky knew of Blaine- they had met before in unfortunate circumstances- but Karofsky felt no real attraction to him. He would have to fake his way into that relationship until he was back in his own body. He would have to fake love and romance and maybe even sleep with Blaine, if the two had reached that point yet.
Karofsky felt his insides clench. The very notion of sleeping with Blaine, someone he probably couldn't pick out of a lineup at this point, made him utterly nauseous. It wasn't that Blaine was nauseating, it was just that... well, Karofsky had barely acknowledged to himself that he might, maybe, possibly sometimes be attracted to men. To kiss another boy, full-on kiss with tongue and everything... it was too much.
Thankfully, just then, Karofsky saw himself strut around the corner. It was still a strange feeling to see his own body moving towards him, but it was one he was getting used it.
"So..." he began, cracking his thumbs nervously.
"So." Kurt echoed, twisting his mouth into a scowl.
"What do we do now?" Karofsky asked, showing Kurt his palms in a sign of defeat.
"I have an idea." Kurt shared. "I really don't want to do it, but if the myriad of Disney movies I've seen are any indication, it should work."
"What?" Karofsky asked, his heart beating furiously. Kurt grabbed his face and planted a dry, rough kiss on his lips.
"Damn, I really hoped that would work." Kurt sighed. "Well, time for plan B."
"Plan B?" Karofsky asked, his voice high-pitched in fear.
"Relax, chief." Kurt rolled his eyes. "Plan B does not involve further kissing, although you'd probably love that, you perv."
Karofsky groaned. "You know, just because you're in my body doesn't mean you can suddenly be a dick about everything. Christ, I said I was sorry a billion times, what do you want me to do?"
Kurt threw his hands up in frustration. "Oh, excuse me for being fucking offended because you kissed me against my will. Sorry isn't going to take that back. Sorry isn't going to give my first kiss with a boy back."
Karofsky opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He tried to think of something to say, but realized quickly that nothing could be said. He could never make up for kissing Kurt against his will. Regret seemed to flow through his veins along with his blood.
"Yeah, I thought so." Kurt snapped. "Listen, I'm not thrilled about having to deal with your body and questionable fashion choices either, but we have to make do. Let's get in your my car and head down to the Lima Bean. We'll brief each other on every detail of our lives for the rest of the day. Then we can at least pretend to be each other until this all blows over."
Kurt slid into the driver's seat of his car, his belly pressing into the steering wheel. With a grumble, he readjusted the chair to fit his new proportions. He mumbled to himself about what a pain the new body was. He hated it. He hated being inside this shell that didn't fit. He had spent so much time and energy crafting his whole persona, and it hurt to have to pretend to be someone else. Again. He thought back on the time he had spent "in the closet." The time that he had lied to his best friend in middle school and said that "X-Men" was his favorite movie when, really, it was "The Little Mermaid." The time he invented a little sister as a kid so that he could "explain" the dolls and tea sets in his room. Hell, the time last year when he had made out with Brittany to see if he could be straight. He hated all those times. He hated himself in those times. And now, with this new body and new set of stigmas, he had to force himself back into the closet. It was an outrage, really. That was why he had been so short-tempered with Karofsky... he was just angry.
And, of course, the power felt good. It was a rush to know that he could retaliate with a swift punch to the jaw of Karofsky tried anything with him. If nothing else, it was just good to know that he had a decent amount of weight behind a punch, should he need it. Kurt imagined, for just a second, what would happen if Karofsky ran into gay bashers. He could easily fight even a large group off, no problem. It made Kurt wonder why Karofsky hadn't come out yet. It couldn't be physical violence he was worried about, since he was such an imposing, strong, scary figure.
But before he could delve any deeper into his mind, he pulled into his usual parking spot at the Lima Bean. Without a word, the two boys walked inside, ordered coffees, and sat down in a booth in the corner. They were silent for almost ten minutes, neither wanting to break the ice as they sipped their drinks. The jingle bells attached to the cafe's door rang softly as they sat without a word.
Kurt finally decided to speak. "Obviously, this is going to last for a while. We need to make arrangements to pretend to be each other for a while. Set some ground rules. You know."
Karofsky nodded. "Let's write our schedules down on these napkins." He said, grabbing a handful of napkins and a pen from his- Kurt's- backpack. "And don't leave anything out. Glee club practice, Football games, birthdays, anniversaries, everything." He and Kurt scribbled furiously, and traded the papers.
"Okay, now the tough thing. Relationships. Obviously I don't want you kissing Blaine, even with my mouth." Kurt said, as Karofsky wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Oh hush." Kurt sighed. "If you can't see how attractive that man is, you might not actually be gay."
Karofsky hushed him. "Can you not air that to the whole world?"
Kurt looked around. "There's like three people in this coffee shop aside from us. No one who would care about your sexuality is even in this place."
Karofsky shifted uncomfortably. "I just don't want you to air my dirty laundry. That's rule number one. No outing me."
"I'm not going to force you out of the closet, no worries." Kurt said. But if you ever decide to change your mind, I'm more than happy to do it for you. I know what coming out is like. I've done it before and I can do it again."
"Fine." Karofsky sighed. "But I'm not ready for that. Can I text Blaine and say you're sick or something? So that I don't have to worry about... about doing anything with him?"
"Sure. Whatever. Just don't kiss him. Or doing anything else with him. Or kiss anyone else. That's my number one rule. Got it?" Kurt replied.
Karofsky nodded wordlessly. "And no body modifications. I've worked hard for that body. I don't need you messing with it."
"For serious?" Kurt asked, raising an eyebrow. "No offense, dude, but I find that hard to believe. You could definitely do a little work on your physique. You're a little tubby, chief."
"How am I not supposed to take offense to that?" Karofsky threw up his hands in frustration. "I have a beer belly or whatever. That doesn't mean I'm out-of-shape."
"We'll agree to disagree." Kurt mumbled. "Any other ground rules?"
"No sabotage." Karofsky grunbled.
"Consider it done." Kurt said. "Now, let me fill you in on how Glee works..."