Author's notes: Okay, so I know that "Doctor Who the Movie" was a made for TV movie, but I didn't know that when I started planning this… so if you would just suspend your disbelief for a bit and go along with the scenario I've created, I'd appreciate it ^_^

*Waves hand* These are not the inaccuracies/plot holes you are looking for!

Additional warning: A hate crime is perpetrated in this segment but worry not, vengeance is swift (and British).

A-hem, now please enjoy the rest of the show ^_~

"This is all your bloody fault!" Arthur screamed at his companion.

For his part, America did manage to look somewhat contrite.

"It was an accident!" he reiterated sheepishly, an embarrassed smile taking the place of his usual ebullient one.

Arthur held his head in his hands and spent a moment collecting himself. He knew that it had been an accident, certainly that wasn't… no, he didn't want to even think about it, and he was never going to be able to look at a geoduck again, not that they weren't already altogether cringe worthy in that respect… in any case, thinking about it only exacerbated the tide of anger that had risen within him. It was 11 o'clock, he was stuck in London, scheduled to be in Berlin tomorrow and of all the countries in the world he was with the one nation he'd been trying desperately to avoid. He was cold, irritated as fuck all, and they were in the one neighborhood in London with no taxis.

While their political relationship hadn't been affected, the friendship they'd slowly been building had rapidly decayed after the cancellation of Doctor Who, their sole common interest. The past few world meetings had been especially brutal; every harebrained scheme the American presented to save the world from global warming/loneliness/backnee, or what have you, was worse than the last and had driven England nearly to homicide. If he hadn't known better, England would have thought America was trying to get a rise out of him. Scowling, he glared at the other nation from between the cracks in his fingers.

Of course it had done nothing to curtail the attraction he'd developed for the blasted sod. On the contrary, if anything their quarreling now riled him up like nothing else. For him, every meeting had become a quagmire of sexual tension and annoyance and the worst part was that America remained none the wiser, forcing him to suffer alone!

Damn the stupid sexy bastard!

At that moment he noticed that America was idly poking holes in a wall with his finger.

The BRICK wall.

"Oi! Stop defacing my capitol you prat!"

"Oh! Whoops!" America said, startled out of his reverie.

"Keep your hands to yourself!" He yelled, feeling somewhat satisfied when America actually jumped away from the wall.

"Jeez, sorry! Can we go somewhere now, or are you still pouting?"

England felt his face heat up, "I was not pouting and I'll have you know that I don't take your vandalism lightly!"

"It's just a few holes in a wall!"

"Belt up! It's my wall, I'll decide what constitutes a violation!"

"What do you want me to do? Go back in time and undo it? If I was trying to deface your capital you wouldn't have a chance." America said while laughing.

England sputtered, incensed and unable to articulate the animosity he felt. Instead he said, "You really need to learn when to shut up, do you know that?"

"Cheer up! I'll buy you a burger or something to make up for it!"

"And how will you make up for the burger?" England retorted.

America shrugged, then made a show of putting his hands in his pockets and smiled at him.

"Fine-Fine! No burger for you then. Feel better now?"

England sighed; he was much too tired to deal with this.

"You'd better keep your hands in your pocket or so help me I will make you wish that you were never born!" He stated while he grabbed his former charge's arm and pulled him roughly down the street.

"I don't think I was born."

Ignoring him England said, "Come on, I know a pub around here. I'm certain they can call a taxi for us."

They'd been walking for approximately ten minutes when America stopped dead in his tracks. England tried to jerk him forward, but it had no effect.

"What now?" He asked while steeling himself to prepare for whatever ridiculous thing would happen now.


America looked excited, so much so his face was stretched into a wide grin and he was gesticulating wildly at a something across the street. With dread, England turned his head and was greeted with the sight of a rather dilapidated movie theater. Despite its appearance, the marquee was lit and England surmised that it must still be in operation. Slow realization dawned as he read the title of the midnight movie for the night.

"There's a Doctor Who movie!" America squealed in sheer delight. Then he turned the tables on England by taking hold of his arm and dragging him towards the theater.

"No! We are not watching a movie! It's late enough as it is!" England protested, as the theater loomed closer.

"But it's Doctor Who! Man, you act so old! Making an exception and staying up late one night isn't going to kill you! I can't believe that there's a movie! I didn't even hear about it!"

Still struggling England could not stop himself from remarking snidely "Shocking really, that such an event would escape your notice."

"I know, right? I wonder long has it been out?" America asked, completely oblivious to any sarcasm present in England's last comment.

I really should have been expecting that.

"I'm not sure, 1996?"

"What! No, no way are we leaving here until I see this movie!"

Abruptly, America halted in mid-step and England ran into him, letting out a little "oaf" as he did so.

"Wait, did you know about it?"

Surprisingly America appeared to be rather put out that England hadn't called him the second he'd learned of this cinematic enterprise. An unexpected feeling of guilt struck England very hard in the pit of his stomach and England couldn't help looking away as America searched his face.

"You watched it without me!" America accused, eyes awash with betrayal. Arthur felt an immediate need to defend himself.

"It was a made for tv movie, and it was terrible! Look, you're just going to hate it and want to leave half way through, so we'd better stop all this nonsense before it begins and find a taxi for the night."

America stared determinedly at Arthur and said, "I'm too curious now! I have to see it!" then he whined, "I still can't believe you saw it without me!"

Not wishing to make a scene, England kept his mouth shut when they arrived at box office and Alfred asked for two tickets. He then removed his wallet and glanced inside, but as he did so his face fell. England knew that look, and as America looked up at Arthur with big pleading eyes he could already guess what had happened. He tried to escape those eyes, tried ducking and turning his head, but wherever he glanced America put himself directly in his line of vision, a pathetic puppy dog expression on his face complete with a furrowed brow and wide shining eyes.

"Arthur? I don't have any pounds," he paused and his lip quivered for maximum effect, "Can you pay for the tickets please please please please please please-"

England screwed his face up into a scowl, but try as he might he still felt strangely guilty about not contacting Alfred when the movie has first come out and already knew that he was going to cave.

"…please please please please please-"

"Fine! I will pay for the tickets and watch this blasted movie, but only on the condition that you pay me back double and we never speak about this again." He said irately as he scowled at no one in particular and handed some bills to the ticket salesperson.

"Yay!" America exclaimed as his eyes screwed up in happiness and he physically jumped into the air while he pumped one of his fists.

"Stop that this instant! We are in public!" England said acerbically.

"Awww do I embarrass you that much?" America asked jovially.

"More than you could ever imagine." he responded.

England snatched his change and their tickets sharply and marched into the theater, not bothering to check if America was behind him. Vaguely he heard America say something about wanting popcorn but he ignored it and made a bee line for the seats near the back of the theater.

"Why are we all the way back here?" America asked as he plopped down beside England.

Arthur snorted, "I like sitting here. What's the difference? All the seats are exactly the same."

"But the hero always sits close to the action!"

"By all means then, go find another bloody seat!"

They then sat in silence while England seethed and America pouted.

Slowly, more and more people began to trickle in, including a group of rambunctious teenagers that sat directly behind them. Out of the corner of his eyes England glared at America reproachfully.

Great, he was surrounded by teenagers on all sides.

When the theater was half full the lights dimmed and the curtain furled, revealing the screen. The previews started shortly, and after ten minutes the familiar sound of the Doctor Who Opening title soundtrack played.

Idly, he wondered if he could try falling asleep in this position. He was exhausted from the meeting.


He practically growled at the intrusion, but decided to ignore it. Hopefully America would give up and leave him alone.

"England!" Alfred called in a harsh whisper.

"Psst! Hey!" he continued, giving England a light push on the shoulder.

"What is it?" The older nation whispered back in irritation.

"Why do you hate this movie so much anyway?"

England sighed. How could he explain without going on at length?


America blinked, then forgetting himself laughed loudly.

"Campy? Pfft! No problem! That's what midnight movies are supposed to be like!"


"Oops!" he said much more softly, though urgently as he ducked his head to avoid that glares of two Goths that were sitting a few rows in front of them.

"Anyway," he continued, "that's what midnight movies are supposed to be like! Haven't you ever seen MST3K?"

"What on Earth is that? Some terrible American band?"

"No, and if it was an American band it would be awesome! It stands for Mystery Science Theater 3000! Basically, this guy watches really bad movies with these two robots and totally riffs on them! It's so bad, it's awesome!" He explained while grinning happily.

Arthur eyed him dubiously.

"Has anyone ever told you what bizarre tastes you have?"

"Haha no, but thank you!"

"I didn't mean it as a compliment, and do shut up! The movie has started!"

"You're talking too!"

"Only because you started talking to me! Now shut it!"

America rolled his eyes but managed to comply, at least for the time being. Not that it mattered, because now that he was no longer distracted by America's talking England noticed that the group of teenagers behind them were also spewing a litany of verbal diarrhea.


Morosely he tried to ignore them all and fall asleep. Just when he had almost fallen asleep he was startled awake by a shriek and the feeling of hands grabbing at him.

England frowned, he didn't remember there being any monsters in the movie that America was normally afraid of. Glancing at the screen it looked like they were at the part in which the Doctor's lifeless body was being wheeled into the morgue.

"What the hell? What are you so afraid of?"

"It's a morgue!" America gasped.


"Don't you know what happens in morgues in movies?"



Nope, it was too ridiculous. He couldn't fathom where to even begin an argument with America when he was being so utterly insensible, therefore he fell back to what he knew and scowled.

"Get off of ME!" he whispered while he tried to shove the other man off. In response, America only clung tighter.


"If you do not let go of me this instant I'll-"

Arthur quieted suddenly when felt something small hit his cheek. He looked over to see a perplexed Alfred with a bucket of popcorn jaunting off the top of his head almost comically. For a few seconds they just sat there and stared at each other while they wondered where the bucket of popcorn had come from.

"Damn poufs! Go home if you want to make out you queers!" rang out in the theater so loudly it reverberated, only to be followed by the raucous laughter of the juvenile miscreants seated behind them.

"Did we just get hate-crimed?" America asked incredulously.

Arthur saw red.

"Oi! Asshole!"

He leapt over the back of his seat and chucked a beverage at one of the delinquent's faces. To the other boy who had spoken he gave a swift kick in the chest. Glowering, he yelled, "You don't deserve to call yourself British, you wanker! This is the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and if you know what's good for you, you will get the fuck out!"

Being unmitigated cowards the boys turned tail and ran at the first opportunity. Strangely, at that exact moment the audience started to whistle and broke into a round of applause. As England turned around, he came to the realization that they were not clapping because of the movie, but instead were all staring at him and had clearly borne witness to the previous exchange. He felt his cheeks flush in mortification as he climbed back into his seat.

"England, that was super cool!"

England did not respond, instead he opted to sink into the cushions and try to disappear for the rest of the movie.

When the Master turned into a snake and dove into the mouth of some random character he braced himself for America to jump onto him, however the impact never came. He looked over at the other man, and while America had shrunk into himself in obvious fear, he made no move toward England.

"Are you alright?"

"Super." America said and smiled at him a little too brightly. England noticed there was still some popcorn in his hair.

"Come here." He instructed and ran his hands through America's hair in an attempt to shake out the remaining bits.

America backed away from him uncharacteristically while he said quietly, "You don't have to do that."

"Don't be a git. I never do anything I don't want to."

A ghost of a smile graced America's features for a moment and it is was so unlike his usual cocky grin that England found himself entranced. He almost said it then, the words were on the tip of his tongue but he can't quite vocalize them.

I missed you.

He thought it, thought it so hard and stared at America so deeply he was surprised that the other nation didn't have holes bored into him.

There was no more popcorn in his hair but England couldn't bring himself to take his hand away. Instead his fingers lingered, stroking America's scalp. Even with the small amount of grease the popcorn had left in his hair it was unbearably soft.

Reluctantly, England removed his arm and placed it on the armrest they shared, almost but not quite touching. They watched the rest of the movie in silence.

As the credits rolled and the audience began filtering out America leaned back and sighed contentedly.

"That was great! Cheesy, but in a good way." He said while he nodded his head up and down. "You have to learn to appreciate the cheese England."

Surprisingly, England found himself chuckling. "I'll have to take your word for it."

"Wouldn't it be great if they revived Doctor Who?"

England found himself answering honestly, "I think that would be wonderful."

Sorry for how short this is and for how long I've taken to write it! I feel really guilty D:

Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it and please let me know your thoughts on the chapter! I will try to get the next one out faster!