I had wanted to update this ages ago but I had so many college forms to fill out. My senior year of high school has by far been the most difficult. I thought the hard part would be being accepted to college. It turns out that with that acceptance comes so many files and forms you've gotta send off or print out. Not to mention the scholarships I need to apply for. It becomes a bit overwhelming. And plus I'm such a procrastinator when it comes to that kind of stuff so I had to do a lot of stuff in a little time. But anyways…I'm gonna stop my little rant (which you all probably don't care about) and let you read this chapter.
"So what are you doing tonight?" Jasper asked me as he smoked his cigarette.
We were in the back of the school, near the teacher's parking lot. It was deserted besides me and him. This was our designated smoking spot so no one besides us dared to come over here.
"I'm not sure, man." I answered as I leaned against the brick building "I might stop pass that party tonight"
"Mike's?" Jasper asked.
"Yeah…it's probably gonna be bullshit but I've got nothing better to do." I admitted.
"I'll go with you. Can you pick me up?"
Before I could answer the bell rang signaling the start of the last class of the day. I continued to smoke my cigarette because I wasn't in any fucking rush to get to class.
"Yeah I'll pick you up" I finally answered Jasper as I blew out smoke. I flicked the cigarette into the grass after taking one more drag off of it.
I made it to math 6 minutes late. The only reason I knew that was because Mr. Dickhead-Varner held up 6 fingers when I walked in. He was such an asshole.
I made my way over to my seat without glancing over at Bella. She had been ignoring me all week and I was NOT going to give her the benefit of knowing that her avoidance was affecting me. Why was she even ignoring me in the first place? I hadn't done shit to her and the fact that she was doing that shit was pissing me off. Like seriously pissing me off. It was like she was mad at me or something. The first time she did it I had racked my brain all day trying to figure out what the fuck I did to her. Eventually I had stopped caring. For the most part.
As soon as the class ended I bolted out of the classroom before Varner could make another stupid remark. I met up with Jasper at his locker where he was talking to Mike Newton.
"The party is gonna be Hot!" Mike exclaimed as he lightly punched Jasper on the shoulder. He didn't notice that Jasper had narrowed his eyes in annoyance. I smiled a little as I opened my locker.
"You comin' Cullen?" Mike turned to me.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world" I replied before I smirked at Jasper. Mike's eyes widened a bit at my reply before he could control it. Then he grinned broadly.
"Awesome!" he said before he made his way down the hall.
See Mike was the kind of guy that tried really really hard to be cool. He would always tag along with us even though Jasper and I treated him like crap and made him buy us cigarettes. One time we even asked him to do our homework. And he did it too.
"He's such a pussy" Jasper said when Mike walked away.
"Speaking of pussy" I started, "I hope I fucking get laid tonight. I haven't had a good fuck in a while."
"What about Jessica?" Jasper smiled.
"I said a good fuck" I laughed. I closed my locker and Jasper and I began walking to the parking lot. As we walked down the hall I noticed Bella and Alice down the hall. Jasper noticed them too and began walking towards them. I grabbed his arm quickly before they noticed.
"Chill man" I told him in a low voice.
"What?" he asked
"Just leave them alone today."
"Just…because" I started to walk down the hall. I heard Jasper chuckle behind me.
"It seems that Edward Cullen has finally grown a fucking conscience" Jasper laughed.
"Whatever" I muttered as I exited the school. I didn't want to tell Jasper the real reason I didn't want him picking with Alice and Bella. It was none of his damn business.
I made it over to my car and slid into the driver's seat. I unlocked the doors from the inside so that Jasper could get into the passenger seat. He was still grinning like a fucking idiot.
"If you don't wipe that fucking Joker smile off your face I'm gonna make you walk home" I told him.
He chuckled again, "I think I spoke to soon about the conscience thing"
Jasper and I went to the convenience store to get some smokes and then I dropped him off at his home. I basically spent the rest of the day in my room crashing before the party.
By 8 o'clock I decided that I should get dressed and head over to Jasper's house to pick him up. I pulled on a clean gray t-shirt and some dark jeans. I wasn't dressing up for that shit.
By the time Jasper and I got to the party, it was in full swing. People were crowded in the lawn and in the house. And judging by how girls were dry humping each other, there was a heavy flow of booze.
When we made it through the crowd to the house, we were greeted by a very drunk Newton.
"We're the fuck have you guys been?" he droned as he slung his arms over Jasper and my shoulders, "I was beginning to think you guys weren't gonna show up." His breath reeked of beer and vodka.
"Newton, if you wanna keep that arm I suggest you remove it from around my shoulders." Jasper fumed.
Mike quickly removed his arm and stepped away from Jasper. It seemed that through his drunken haze he still understood threats. Mike stepped warily away from us.
"Stop being such a bully" I laughed. Jasper shrugged his shoulders and headed to the kitchen. We both knew that that was where the booze was usually stored. I followed after Jasper but was stopped when someone grabbed me around the forearm.
"Edward" Jessica whispered in my ear seductively, "I've missed you" Her fingers slid back and forth up my arm.
"Hey Jessica" I turned to face her. She was wearing a short jean skirt and a white tank top. No bra. Her erect nipples strained against the thin shirt. I felt my cock twitch at the sight of her perky breast. Fuck me.
"I never see you anymore" Jessica whispered in my ear. Her hand was resting on my hip. "We used to have so much fun." I nodded numbly in agreement. Her hand had now traveled to the small of my back her nails slightly pressing into my skin.
"Let's go get something to drink Eddie." She steered me towards the kitchen.
I really didn't want to be with Jessica but it seems that my mind and my dick were disconnected. So while in my head it was screaming 'Get away from her' my dick was saying "Fuck her'. So after a few beers and a lot of liquor I wasn't very surprised to find myself straddled underneath Jessica on Mike Newton's parent's bed. Her tongue was down my throat and her hand down my pants. She had tried to work the buttons on my pants undone but got frustrated so she settled on just shoving her hand down my jeans.
"Edward…I'm so wet" she whispered huskily. With her free hand she grabbed my hand and placed it underneath her skirt. "Finger me baby".
My fingers stroked her through her soaked panties as she continued to stroke me. I rubbed her clit before I slid her panties down. She moaned loudly in my ear as I thrust two fingers inside of her. Her hips rocked against my hand as I continued to stroke and tease her.
Her brown locks fell on my face as she continued to rock on top of me. I noticed how her hair curled slightly at the ends. It reminded me of Bella's except Bella's hair was longer and thicker. I reached up and ran my finger along her hair. It was soft but I imagined Bella's hair was much softer. Bella's skin was softer than Jessica's too. Bella's pale skin was beautiful when it was tinged pink with a blush. And her lips were flawless. They were full and pouty and pink and very very kissable. I closed my eyes imagining Bella and all her innocence. And suddenly Jessica was no longer on top of me. I was caressing Bella's soft skin as she rocked sensuously on top of me. Her eyes were closed tight and her mouth slack as she panted my name over and over again. Her thighs clenched tightly around my hand as she came. I moaned her name in her ear as I reached my own peak.
"What?" Jessica snapped, sitting up. I quickly opened my eyes. I was back in reality. Bella had changed back into Jessica. A very heated Jessica. "What the fuck did you just say Edward?"
"Cuz it sounded like you said 'Bella'. Who the fuck is Bella? Are you imagining someone else"?
Fuck me. I guess I got a little too into my dreaming. So when I was moaning Bella's name into her ear I was actually moaning Bella's name into Jessica's ear.
"You son-of-a-bitch" Jessica cried as she hit me hard into the chest. I hissed loudly because that really fucking hurt and if Jessica wasn't a girl she and I would be fighting. She crawled off of me and climbed to the floor in search of her underwear. Once she found them she quickly pulled them on and left the room with a huff.
I sighed as I crawled off the bed. I needed a drink badly.
After the whole fiasco with Jessica I went to the kitchen in search of some very hard liquor. There I found a very drunk Jasper with a blonde in his lap.
"Having fun?" I asked him as I poured my drink.
"Yup" he answered as the blonde kissed and nipped his neck. I decided that that was something that I really didn't care to watch so I made my way outside. Everyone that was outside had went into the house because it was raining lightly. The light rain actually felt good on my warm skin. It helped me calm down.
So that's how I spent the rest of the time at the party: sitting outside in the rain sipping on liquor. And maybe it was because I wanted to take my mind off what had happened or maybe it was because I had no one to stop me, I got very drunk. So drunk that I ended up falling asleep on the ground. I didn't realize I had fallen asleep until Jasper roused me up.
"Edward, man are you okay?" Jasper asked his voice alarmed. I had awoken to the sight of two blurry Jaspers. My head was pounding and spinning at the same time. As Jasper helped me up I stumbled slightly and fell back onto the ground.
"Edward, Jesus, what did you drank?" Jasper asked as he helped me to my car. "Give me your keys. You can't drive like this."
I might have protested if I it hadn't felt like I would have puked if I opened my mouth. I stumbled into the passenger seat and rested my head on the head rest. I closed my eyes trying to fight off the nauseous feeling. I wanted to fall back to sleep but Jasper kept nudging my shoulder.
"What's Alice's number?" Jasper asked me. He had his cell phone in his hand.
"Why the hell do you need Alice's number?" I mumbled into the seat.
"I wanna call her so she can help you get into the house. Maybe she'll know what to do with you."
"I don't think she'd answer the phone if you called her. Alice hates your guts" I told him truthfully.
Jasper was silent for a moment so I looked up at him. His hand was tightly gripping the steering wheel and his jaw was clenched. Finally he spoke. "I know she hates me...she has every right to hate me." It seemed like he was talking more to himself than to me.
In the end, we didn't need Alice. With Jasper's help I was able to stumble into my home.
"Are you going to be alright?" Jasper asked me as I made my way to the door.
"Yeah" I mumbled as I unlocked the door and staggered into the living room. Jasper muttered a good bye before he closed the door back.
I had greatly overestimated my ability to walk. I hadn't been inside the house for 30 seconds before I stumbled into my parents' vase and broke it. I muttered a curse before I stumbled again and knocked over one of my mother's glass ballerinas. I slipped and fell on the floor. I didn't have the energy or the desire to try to get myself back up so I just laid there hoping that sleep would overcome me.
"Edward" someone whispered. I laid still hoping that the person would just go away. Unfortunately they didn't. They whispered my name again and when I didn't answer they smacked me. Twice.
"Edward…please" the person, obviously a girl, whispered. She then shook my shoulders.
I got tired of being poked and prodded by this girl, whoever she was, so I finally answered her. "Please what?" I snapped. I opened my eyes and was somewhat surprised to see Bella. I probably would have been more surprised if I wasn't so drunk. I closed my eyes again hoping she would get the message because I was way too drunk to handle this. But then she asked me if I was okay and I realized that she was not going to leave me alone. So I asked her to help me up.
She helped me over to the couch and the motion made me feel nauseous again so I told her to get a bucket. I prayed silently that I wouldn't spew my guts out on the floor and that she would
hurry the fuck up. Once she came back I puked into the container sobering up a little in the process. I got up with the container to rinse my mouth out. I threw the entire container into the trash before I ran some water in a glass. My throat felt raw as I gargled the water. I spat it out before doing it again. Once I was sure that all traces of throw-up were out of my mouth I returned back to the living room. Bella was still there.
I plopped back down on the couch and closed my eyes. I heard Bella move so I told her to wait. She responded loudly making me flinch. For some reason her company was comforting. She had helped me out so much that I kind of wanted to repay her. I didn't know how I would repay her but I still didn't want her to leave either. When she sat down on the coffee table I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my face. I reached out and grabbed her knee.
"You didn't think I would do it." I said, remembering our deal.
"Do what?" she asked.
"Stay true to my promise" I smiled. I closed my eyes as I lightly squeezed her knee. Bella was really easy to talk to. Or maybe it was just because I was so wasted.
"So…what are you doing here?" I asked after a moment.
"Uh…Alice and I were having a sleep-over" she replied quickly
A sleep-over? Really? Girls still did those? For some reason imagining Alice and Bella braiding each other's hair as they gossiped about their crushes made me laugh.
Bella muttered that she should get to bed but I didn't want her to leave yet so I reached out for her. When I grabbed her she stumbled and fell into my lap. The feeling of her warm body pressed into mine was too much to handle. I thought about earlier and how I imagined her on top of me instead of Jessica. And at that moment I wanted nothing more than to reenact what I did with Jessica with Bella, so I kissed. I pressed my lips roughly to hers not caring whether she wanted me to or not. Because at that moment I needed to kiss Bella. I needed to feel her pressed into me. I needed to feel her tongue slide into my mouth. I needed stroke her hair as I kissed her and I needed to bring her closer to me.
When I felt Bella grind her hips into mine I was surprised and pleased at the same time. It felt so fucking good. She felt so fucking good. I wanted to feel all of her body so I slid my hand underneath her shirt. Her skin was so silky smooth and soft. I reached higher skimming my hands over the bottom of her bra. She told me to stop but I was too far gone to stop. I reached up and squeezed her breast through her bra. Her breasts were a nice handful and I relished the feel of the hard nub I felt underneath the bra. She moved to get up but I couldn't allow that. I wanted to explain to her how much I needed her right now. That her body was perfect and that I needed to hold on to her or I might explode. I wanted her to know that I had spent so many nights thinking about her and had had so many dreams starring her.
I wanted to tell her all of this but the only thing that I could come up with was a very eloquent 'Come on Bella…don't be like that'.
She tried to get up again but I wouldn't allow her. Which was a bad idea because she slapped me very hard in the face. Before I could catch myself I muttered a curse but Bella had already made it out of the room so I hoped she hadn't heard me.
I felt like such an asshole. Why didn't I just let her go when she had said stop the first time? It was like I was unable to stop. Like I wouldn't have been able to breathe if I stopped. What the fuck was happening to me?
As I laid back down on the couch I couldn't help but think that maybe I should keep a safe distance from Bella Swan.
A/N Some of you have guessed that Edward will start to bully Bella again. It's not that he dislikes her he just doesn't understand the emotions he's feeling. So he thinks by bullying Bella he will be rid of these emotions.
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