This idea sort of just popped in my head. It was inspired from 1zara-uchiha1, with her idea of bakeries and waiters...8'D

In this AU, Tsuna is just about to start college (which means he's legal. woot)

"Sawada Tsunayoshi. That's a pretty strange name for a girl," the blond attendant commented. He ignored the sputtering of the brunet as he adjusted his monitor screen. "Irie-kun, extra small, female uniform please. We have a newbie," he informed over the mic attached to his headset.

"W-Wait, Spanner-san!" Tsuna nervously tugged on his bangs. "I'm n-not a girl!" he blurted loudly. His outburst caused some curious stares from the work staff to be sent his way.

Spanner's eyebrows were raised quite high at the clarification of his gender. "Irie-kun, I made a mistake. The newbie's a male." He could hear the redhead's chuckle from the other line. The blond rarely made mistakes regarding a person's gender.

"There's no XS uniforms left—do you think he could fit in an S size?"

"Hold on, I'll check. Sawada, can you step into the scanner to your right?" The brunet nodded shakily.

"It won't hurt, right?" Tsuna cautiously leaned against the wall inside the machine.

"It'll burn you if you move." The brunet immediately stood stock still. Spanner chuckled under his breath. So gullible...and cute.

The harmless infrared scan was completed within seconds. The results were sent to the blond's computer screen. He raised an eyebrow at the girlish measurements. "He's several sizes too small. I'm sending you his measurements right now so you can do a custom fitting later," Spanner relayed.

"Ehh? But...what is he going to wear? Sawada Tsunayoshi—he's the newbie that got admitted here through Ieyatsu-san, right? I'm sure he's not wearing anything suitable," Shoichi fretted.

"Why don't you send up the female uniform first? I'm sure the customers wouldn't mind," Spanner suggested blandly as he gestured for Tsuna to climb out of the scanner.

"S-Spanner!" His friend was obviously flustered at his innocent suggestion. "Alright..." The redhead yielded after several moments of silence. "Send Sawada-san my deepest apologies."

The blond lifted his head, concealing his smirk with a cough. "Sawada, please come over here so I can explain to you the Vongola Cafe's layout."

"Er, behind the desk?" Spanner nodded. The brunet uneasily made his way around the fixture, squeaking in surprise as the blond wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him to the edge of his lap.

"The cafe is split into three sections, each with their own entrances," Spanner began. "The sections are all connected in the back." Tsuna shivered as his warm breath tingled the nape of his neck. "The left side belongs to the Primo Generation, the middle to the Arcobaleno, and the last to the Decimo Generation. All of the newbies are sent there, because it's the only group lacking a member. None of the new recruits last more than a couple days though for some odd reason. Good luck, kid, you're going to need it." The blond gave Tsuna an encouraging pat on the back. "Oh, and by the way—don't freak out about the uniform. Irie's working on it."

Tsuna stood up when the arm around his waist dropped. "Thank you, Spanner-san." He swallowed nervously as he wondered it every person that worked here was as...friendly as Spanner had been, just like Giotto had warned.

"Maa, I heard we're expecting a newbie today," Yamamoto said, smiling in his usual easy-going manner.

"Tch. The brat supposedly only got in because Giotto-san recommended him." Hayato narrowed his eyes in distaste.

"Kufufu." The laugh was enough to cause the silveret to scowl as he pointed an accusing finger at the dark blue-haired male.

"For fuck's sake, Mukuro! The only damn reason why they don't stay is because you keep on fucking molesting them!"

"I EXTREMELY AGREE WITH OCTOPUS HEAD!" Before Hayato could reply with a "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, TURF TOP?", a fifth male glared at the silveret and boxer, daring them to go further.

"Yare, yare. Hey Stupidera, isn't it your fault too, since you keep on scaring them away?" a sable-haired male asked from the couch.

"Why you stupid cow—"


At that moment, the door to their lounge room opened. The new recruit daintily stepped in, trembling at their gazes. Milky white thighs were exposed, while slender legs were slightly shaking in fear. The girl's uniform was short and clung to the recruit's body, and it resembled a maid uniform in every aspect except for the Vongola logo sewed on the right chest area. The five males, in unison, trailed their gaze up to the recruit's face. Impossibly innocent, caramel eyes took their breath away, and soft, pink lips that were begging to be kissed (in Mukuro's opinion) parted to say something.

"Please excuse my intrusion," the recruit meekly said in a soft tenor. Cue jaw drops.

Hayato was the first to break the silence. "I thought the newbie was supposed to be a boy."

Mukuro was beside the recruit in a flash. "Oya?" His gloved hands brushed over the newbie's general chest area. "Rather flat for a girl." The brunet flushed at the comment as he made no secret about staring at the male's rather odd heterochromatic eyes. One eye was a shade of dark cerulean, while the other eye was ruby red and had a kanji symbol instead of a pupil—contacts?

"I'm not a gir—Nnh..." Mukuro teasingly groped the new recruit's ass.

"Kufufu, doesn't matter to me. Rokudo Mukuro, at your service."

"What did I fucking tell you about the touching, pineapple bastard!" Hayato stalked over and slapped Mukuro's wandering hand away. The brunet breathed a sigh in relief. "Watch yourself around him," the silveret warned. "I'm Gokudera Hayato. Yamamoto Takeshi is the grinning idiot beside turf top—I mean, Sasagawa Ryohei. Lambo Bovino is the stupid cow on the couch, and Hibari Kyouya is the bastard that's staring at you like he doesn't give a fuck."

"I'm S-Sawada Tsunayoshi," the brunet introduced himself. "But call me Tsuna. I'm not a girl," he emphasized carefully. "They seem to have ran out of male uniforms, so they put me in...this." He was referring to the frilly maid's dress that he was wearing.

Lambo was trying in vain to stifle a laugh.

"I ADMIRE YOU, SAWADA!" The boxer shoved past the two males and embraced Tsuna in a bone-crushing hug. "I'm your onii-san from now on," Ryohei declared as he released the brunet.

Mukuro, not to be out bested, purred, "Then that makes me your master." The brunet shuddered, but the reaction wasn't purely out of disgust. His pink cheeks were an indicator.

"Tsuna, by any chance, do you already know what to do?" Yamamoto asked.

The brunet nodded confidently. "I waited tables all through high school." The five males exchanged glances. The sixth one was dozing off by the window with a yellow bird nestled in his raven tresses.

"Cow, get off the couch and get your ass over here. We have 20 minutes to educate the newbie."

Tsuna didn't like how that sounded.

Tsuna shuddered. "The public actually requests this?"

"Cosplay, pocky games, yaoi acts, and a lot more, goodness. It would've been different if we actually had a girl," Lambo explained.

Tsuna bit his lip. Giotto had mentioned some..weird details, but he had brushed it off as unimportant at the time. He just needed a part-time job to get him through college.

He unconsciously made a sound of approval as he felt a comb go through his hair, which was accompanied by massaging fingers.

"Whoa—it won't go down!" Yamamoto exclaimed. "It's like you have sex hair the whole day!"

Mukuro chuckled at the unintended sex pun.

"Ah, I've tried to gel it down before. It didn't work," Tsuna said apologetically. Hayato snapped his fingers as he thought of something.

"A wig. He needs a wig." Mukuro produced one several seconds of searching later.

"Yare, yare. I thought I never wanted to see that again."

"Kufufu, Tsunayoshi-kun would look much better in it than you did, cow."

"Don't remind me about it," Lambo grouched.

"That was the wig Lambo had to wear when a customer requested for a western-style crossdress," Yamamoto explained as he stuffed Tsuna's hair in a hairnet. "Though, we're using it today so customers think you're a girl, haha!"

Hayato fitted the blonde wig expertly on Tsuna. If he had any doubts about the effeminate qualities of the brunet, they were all blown away the moment the wig was placed on his head.


"Kufufu, my thoughts exactly."

"If someone requests him, what do we do?" Lambo idly wondered.

"It'll raise business if Tsuna attends to the male customers," Hayato muttered.

"But the majority of the female customers request yaoi service, and none of us fit the uke role as well as Tsunayoshi-kun," Mukuro countered.

"What about half-half?" Tsuna suggested. He had no idea what an 'uke' was, but he was sure that no one would want to request any special service from him. Besides, it was only going to be for one day, since Shoichi had promised him the uniform would definitely be completed by tomorrow. He stared enviously at the crisp, white dress shirts under perfectly tailored blazer vests, the black slacks and matching Italian calf shoes completing the male uniform. Dresses, especially maid dresses, were so itchy and uncomfortably breezy down there.

"Sounds fair," the blue-haired male agreed. No one but Tsuna missed his devious smirk.

"I was wondering, would I have a chance to see Giotto-nii at all?" Tsuna asked. "He works in the Primo section."

"Sawada Ieyatsu? Kufufu...I see the resemblance now." Tsuna's brow furrowed.

"What do you mean by that, Rokudo-san?"

"He means that he tried to molest him the same way he did to you," interjected Hayato. "But the older pineapple bastard got to him first."

"Damn Spade," Mukuro cursed. "Then Alaude had to show up with his handcuffs," he pouted. Tsuna was speechless. For one, because Giotto knew what was going to happen to him, and still let him apply for the job. For two, males Mukuro's age aren't supposed to pout and still look as hot as hell—fuck. He couldn't believe he just thought his co-worker was hot. Well, if he was honest with himself, he would have admitted that he thought all five were hot, and the sixth one that had been glaring at him earlier made his face flush, even though his picturesque features had been marred with a scowl. God, he had never felt so awkward with his sexual preference until now.

"Haha! Good times," Yamamoto joked. "But on topic now; we do mingle for business. It happens every Thursday," he informed. "For example, you may end up working in the Arcobaleno section for a day." Tsuna shuddered. There was someone who worked there that he'd rather not see.

Then he realized something. "But tomorrow's Thursday!"

"We'll draw lots to see who switches when the cafe closes today," Lambo clarified.

Hayato spared a glance at his watch, his eyes widening slightly as he took note of the time. "It's time to go."

"Kufufu, don't forget these~" The silveret paled at the sight of the neko ears that Mukuro was approaching him with.

"There is no way in all seven hells that you're going to make me wear that damned thing!" Hayato hissed and backed up, his reaction much like a cornered cat.

"Kufufu, there's only six hells," Mukuro corrected, the character in his red eye switching to 4 as he crept closer.

"It's tradition," Yamamoto explained. "The cat ears go to someone different each day." Tsuna nodded before softly speaking up.

"I-I'll wear it if Gokudera-san really dislikes it," the brunet volunteered. He didn't mind them at all—when he had visited a daycare, the children seemed to enjoy seeing him wear the paper cat ears they had crafted for him.

Mukuro's eyes lit up with perverse intent. "Then don't mind if I take the honor of putting it in your hair." Tsuna's survival instincts were screaming for him to get far, far away from the blue-haired male, but he forced himself to man up and stand his ground.

Mukuro's touch was surprisingly gentle as he threaded the ends of the cloth headband through the authentic blonde hairs of his wig. He tilted Tsuna's chin up as he examined his work. "Kufufu, cute, just like a little bunny." The brunet's eyes widened and his heart beat sped up drastically as Mukuro started to lean in.


"Get the hell away from him, pervert!" Hayato grabbed the brunet's wrist and made a dash for the door. Tsuna had to run to avoid being dragged along.

When they were safely out of the lounge, they slowed down to a halt.

"I, uh, appreciate what you did for me," Hayato said gruffly, not meeting Tsuna's gaze.

"You're welcome, Gokudera-san," Tsuna returned warmly. "A-And, t-thank you for saving me earlier. That would've been my first kiss," the brunet said somewhat sheepishly.

A light blush dusted across Hayato's cheeks. He's going to lose his first kiss within a couple hours. "Che. Just call me Hayato." Stupid kid was too damn adorable for his own good.

The two waiters walked by the front desk to pick up their notepads and pens.

"Looking good, Sawada-chan," Spanner joked as he offered him a wrench-shaped lollipop, not unlike the pink one he had in his mouth. "Want one?" Tsuna blushed as he accepted it; fumbling with the wrapper for a few moments before successfully manging to open it. Beside him, Hayato unwrapped his sweet without any trouble. The wrappers went into the nearest trash can.

"It's orange today," the silveret commented as they leaned against a wall to wait for customers. He hurried to explain when a look of confusion crossed Tsuna's face. "Spanner gives out lollipops that change flavor from day to day."

"Mm. They're good," the brunet hummed in approval.

"Handcrafted. 12% boost in energy—" The silveret choked back a moan as Yamamoto's hand brushed past his clothed member.

"First customer's request," Yamamoto murmured into Hayato's ear. He winked at Tsuna before continuing to place his hands...

Oh god.

Scarred for life scarred for life scarred for life scarred for—Tsuna's head made a soft thump against someone's chest in his rush to get far, far away from the duo. He glanced up to see who it was, words of apology abruptly halting as he realized the person as the only male in the Decimo Generation group that he hadn't spoken to.

"H-Hibari-san?" The raven-haired male gazed down uninterestedly at him. "U-Uh, sorry for b-bumping into you! I was..." he suppressed another shudder at the thought of Hayato and Yamamoto.

"There's no way that you're going to keep your lip virginity while you're working here, kufufu~" Hands were placed on the brunet's hips, alerting the boy that Mukuro was behind him. "You might as well give it to me."

" did you know about that?"

"I have my ways," he purred. His eyes were sparkling with mischief as he playfully licked the tip of the brunet's ear.

Tsuna couldn't suppress a shudder. Guh...stupid sensitivity.

Something silver flashed. "No molesting outside of the job, pineapple herbivore." A gleaming tonfa was blocked by a trident. Tsuna gulped. He hadn't seen either weapon being withdrawn, his only hint of Mukuro reaching for his weapon was when his hands left his hips.

"Rokudo-san has a lot of pineapple nicknames," Tsuna said, his voice shaking as he tried to derail the two violent males' thoughts of murder.

Mukuro twitched slightly in annoyance, but quickly covered it up with a smirk. "Tsunayoshi-kun, don't mind Kyouya~ He's—" the blue-haired male blocked another attack, "Just—" he dodged a swift uppercut, "Grumpy."

"Take a hint, Rokudo," Hibari growled. Tsuna was ashamed to admit that he thought Hibari's voice was sexy at that moment.

"Kufufu I—" The two automatically straightened when a customer sat down at the table next to them. All traces of their weapons disappeared.

Tsuna hurried away to find some menus. By the time he returned, the two males were already tending to other customers.

"My name is Tsuna, and I'll be your waiter...ess for today. Would you like me to suggest something for you?" Oh, crap. He had said out of habit when he had waited tables back at his old workplace. He had no idea what kind of food was made in this cafe. The woman smiled and nodded gratefully.

"Yes, please. My friends recommended me this cafe, so I'm not at all familiar with anything," she said apologetically as she folded up the menu. A baby was sleeping peacefully in her stroller.

"Er...well, to be honest, I just started working here today," Tsuna said sheepishly. He took note of the dark bags under her eyes as he picked up a menu to scan through entries. "I would try green tea and an Italian classic, the cornetto. They come in single and double servings; and are filled with either strawberry jam, grape jam, and other assorted fruit jams. Cream is also an option." He was glad that he had enough culinary knowledge to understand the foods on the menu.

"Well, I guess I'll order exactly that," the woman said as she rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"I'll be back with your order soon, ma'am." Tsuna searched for the kitchen, easily finding it despite being directionally challenged. It was obvious—even he couldn't miss the blinking neon lights that shone kitchen. He pushed past the doors, the expanse of the culinary room almost overwhelming him at once. He spotted the counter, where several notes were already waiting to be fulfilled.

"Kyaa~ It's a new recruit~" Tsuna almost squeaked in surprise when a squealing man hugged him. "Oh, you're so cute!" The brunet flushed when the cook began to ooh and ah over him. His hair was strangely styled—he had a crop of green bangs on one side, a red mohawk, and the other side of his head of shaved.

"I-I'm Tsuna," the brunet stuttered as he almost shoved the note in the cook's face. "I'll l-like you to put extra lemon flavoring in her green tea to provide a stronger wake-up and refreshing effect."

"No problem~" The cook glanced at the adorable brunet. The recruit seemed to know what he was talking about, and his senses were tingling. This person was not a girl. "Just call me Luss-nee-chan~"

Tsuna nodded and hauled ass out of there. That man seemed to see right through him, even though he had those odd sunglasses on.

He had gotten several other customers' orders in the short amount of time that he was back in the requesting area. When he was back with his first customer's order, the table was empty, and a raven-haired male was standing by on watch.

"Where is the woman that was sitting here?" Tsuna asked as he set down the glass of green tea and plate of cornettos.

"Bathroom," was Hibari's terse reply. The woman had asked him to watch her baby while she went to relieve herself.

The brunet nodded and started to go to another customer's table to see if anyone needed tending to when the baby in the stroller started crying. There was a slight flash of uncertainty in Hibari's eyes as he hesitated on what to do. Take the baby outside, or bite it to death?

Tsuna gulped as he weighed the chances. If he tried to calm the baby, the woman might not appreciate the fact that he was touching her child, and if he left the baby alone, the other customers would get annoyed. The baby's hands seemed to be reaching towards him as she cried. That sealed the deal for him.

He bent down to retrieve the baby from the stroller, gently cradling the girl in his arms. "Shh," he hushed as he started to rock her back and forth in a soft rhythm. She automatically started to calm down, her grey eyes peering up at him, as if wondering why she was being held by someone other than her mother. He started to hum a tune that had belonged to his childhood past. The baby seemed to like it, because she started to gurgle in delight.

"Hey. Hey, don't poke out my eyes," he joked as the baby girl clumsily grasped his face. Instead, the baby seemed to be intent on obtaining the cat ears. Tsuna smiled before yanking the headband out of his wig. He readjusted the fake hair quickly before someone caught him, then he offered the ears to the baby. She instantly cheered up, marveling at the simple cloth in her tiny hands.

Hibari watched all of this in (slight) awe. Screaming babies weren't usually an issue in the cafe, but when they happened, it was a mini disaster that required Lussuria.

Hibari detested the flamboyant chef. He would often do the cursed nudge-nudge wink-wink routine and suggested people for him to hook up with. He made sure to properly bite him to death every time he got a chance to.

"What are you doing with my baby?"

Hopefully it's not that awkward. It was fun researching the material for this; I learned some new things 8'D

Leave me a review with your thoughts - and which pairings you'd like me to include - anything goes.

(Basil, Oregano, Tumeric, Bianchi, Bluebell, Byakuran, the list goes on).

Arcobaleno & Primo Generation willbe present (I'm sure you've deduced this by now LOL)