The Most Horrific Thing
Snape walked along the corridor leading to the staffroom, and thought longingly of the hot coffee
that awaited him. He opened the door of the staffroom and was confronted with The Most Horrific
Thing he had ever seen. Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall..KISSING!
! MY EYES! yelled Snape as he ran down the
corridoor and burst into the great hall. What? yelled the school! McGonagall & Dumbledore he
whimpered and fainted! Thinking that the Headmaster and his deputy were in some sort of danger
the students and other staff rushed off to save them.
Slytherin and Gryffindor entered the staffroom first... Draco and Hermione yelled and hugged one
another in fright. Crabbe and Ron leapt on top of the wardrobe and cowered there.
Harry, Dean, Neville, Pansy, Goyle and Nott threw themselves out the window to land in the lake.
Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw ran into the room, took one look and promptly ran out again.
The other staff now convinced by the yelling, screaming, breaking glass (people jumping out the
window) and the running awaying, that Minerva and Albus were in serious danger, rushed into the
room wands at the ready. The sight that greeted them however was not what they had expected...
their gaze travelled from Hermione and Draco huddled in the corner to Crabbe and Ron cowering on
top of the wardrobe to the broken window and the students struggling in the lake below.
And finally to the scene in the centre of the room.. Flitwick keeled over in a dead faint, Madame
Pomfrey, Professor Sprout and Professor Trelawney jumped out of the window to join the students
in the lake below. Hagrid began vomiting on the spot and Professor Binns (the ghost teacher) turned
several shades whiter and if it was possible for ghosts to turn green he certainly did. He rapidly
glided through a wall and was never seen at Hogwarts again.
Fred, George, Ginny and Peeves dashed in (late as usual) George's jaw dropped. Fred launched
himself across the room to cover Ginny's eyes. Ginny was was gaping at this scene in front of her and
was swaying slightly. Peeves meanwhile took out a camera and started snapping photos.
Within minutes Peeves had posted them on the internet and armed ministry officials were storming
towards the staffroom. In half an hour Minerva and Dumbledore were imprisoned for these charges:
Severely damaging students eyes, Forcing students to go to such lengths as to propel themselves out
the window, inappropriate behaviour around students, possible irreversible brain damage to said
students and making even trained ministry officials feel extremely sick. These criminal charges
combined to land them a life sentence in a wizard prison (not Azkaban, one called Alakazam)
Counselling was provided but still many students were scarred for life and Hogwarts was on the
point of closing down (cause all the teachers had resigned) Until the Seventh years decided to
teach the subjects themselves. It worked perfectly and everyone was left scratching their heads and
wondering why they hadn't thought of it before!
And everyone lived happily ever after... except Snape. He was so disgusted by what he had seen
that he never left his house again. He also joined Getting-Over-Horrible-Memories Recovery Group
(GOHMRG) but was still never the same again.