A/N: Here it is, you guys, the most amazing collection known to man... A little thing I'd like to call BROOKE-SHOTS!

Brooke is such an amazing character, and I went and I looked, and there were like, eight stories for Brooke under the humor genre. Brooke-shots have been in my head for quite the while now, but I just didn't know where to start... XD

This is one of many to come, believe me -though I don't have a set update... it'll be whenever the urge hits me :P

So enjoy tales told from our favourite skeleton's point of view~! :D

King of Soul and Speed

The six of them stretched, getting ready to begin. Nami waited off to the side, marking things down on a piece of paper as she glanced at the island.

"Are you guys ready yet?" She asked, rolling up the paper.

"Yohoho! I've been ready for nearly a century!" I laughed.

"That's because you're pushing ninety," Usopp joked.

"He's ninety already, so technically he's pushing ninety-one," Nami said. "Nine-tenths of a century, Brooke. And you still act like a child."

"Yohoho! That's because these bones of mine don't age! And my skin won't wrinkle like a wom–"

"A woman's skin doesn't wrinkle," Nami interrupted, touching her face and glaring at me.

"–because I have no skin that can be wrinkled! Yohoho! And might I say you're looking lovely today, Nami."

"No wrinkles?" She said sarcastically.

"A smooth as a baby's bottom."

She rolled her eyes.

"So, if you don't mind me asking –may I see your pan–"

Before I could even finish, I fell face first into the sand, my jaw bone aching with the power of her fist.

"Now, we've all agreed that Usopp, Chopper and Franky will go first, then Sanji, Zoro and Luffy thirty seconds later, then Brooke will go on his own –another thirty seconds later," Nami said, verifying it and seeing if anybody wanted to make any changes.

"I need all the time I can get before Brooke starts," Usopp muttered to Chopper, who nodded and agreed.

"You want to switch heats, Franky?" Nami asked.

"Am I able to use my rockets?" he asked.


"Then no, I'll remain in the first heat."

"Alright," she shrugged, not truly concerned. "Get ready…. Well, just go already. Robin's on the other side of the island waiting –she'll determine the winner."

They all nodded.

"Well, go," Nami said.

Usopp, Chopper and Franky still didn't move, looking more than a little confused.

"Go already!" She barked at them.

They looked at each other before taking off.

"Shishishi," Luffy grinned, hopping from one foot to the other impatiently.

"If there's anything I can beat you at, it's running, Marimo," Sanji muttered.

"As if, curly-brow," Zoro smirked.

"Muscle brain."

"Number seven."

"You –"

"Go," Nami said, and the three of them took off.

"You going to let any of them win?" she asked as they disappeared into the trees.

"Are you aware, Nami, that the bet we have going on right now is that if any of them win, I won't be able to make my skull jokes anymore?"

"Is that what this is about?" she rolled her eyes. "How stupid."

"So you're on my side!" I exclaimed happy. "Oh, my heart could jump right out of my chest –that's how happy I am! Yohoho. Save for the fact that I don't –"

"Yeah, I know," Nami interrupted. "Just go."

"Yohoho!" I laughed, taking off, breaking through the line of trees. Sometimes I forgot how good it felt to run fast, especially being cooped up on our little ship. This was nice.

I spotted Franky and Usopp running side by side.

"Giving up already?" I asked as I passed, giving a small wave.

Usopp let out a string of unfriendly terms. He –out of all of the group –wanted my skull jokes to end the most. How sad.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," I called back.

"I'll get some sticks and stones," I heard him shout at me.

Or I would have –if I had ears to hear with!


Then I spotted Chopper, running on all four legs.

I ran by him, "Soul King, coming through! Yohoho!"

"So fast," Chopper awed.

I grinned, speeding up. Sanji and Zoro were fighting up ahead, running all the same. Zoro didn't run from anything, so sometimes I forgot just how fast he could move. Sanji ran, pumping his arms incredulously as he shouted insults at Zoro, who was always quick to retort. Ahhhhhhh… my nakama….

So loving.

"You're lagging, Sanji," I said, coming up between the two. I felt sorry for them both, who could never truly get stronger than the other. Even their endurance was fairly equal -both willing to stand up after the most excruciating battles.

"Today's the day you lose, Brooke," Sanji said. "I'll be considered the quickest in our group."

"Yohoho, I love how your dreams are so lively."

"It's not a dream –I'll put you in your place. Six feet under the soles of my shoes."

"As a dead man, I take offence to that," I told him.

"Soon you'll only be seeing dust as I run off ahead of you."

"Yohoho! Too bad I don't have eyes to see with! Skull joke! Yohoho!" I laughed. "Now, cook-san, I hope you like dust –because that's all you'll taste for the next week!"

Zoro laughed as I picked up the pace, running to catch up to Luffy, who I could see just ahead.

"Brooke," he greeted.

"Luffy," I greeted just the same –with a wide grin on my face. He was in second gear, his skin steaming slightly.

"I'm going to beat you," he told me, that competitive edge in his voice.

"I thought you liked my skull jokes."

"I do. But I like winning, too. You don't have to give up your skull jokes if I win, Brooke."

"Thank you, Luffy. You're such a nice captain… but that doesn't mean I'll let you win," I told him.

"It wouldn't be fun without a little competition," Luffy grinned.

And with that he shot forward. I threw back my head and laughed as I ran after him. And overcame him, and left him behind with that silly grin on his face –the smile that could only be worn so widely on a face as rubbery as his.

I broke through the trees and spotted Robin, waving wildly as I neared. I slowed to a walk.

"Robin, as a prize, may I see your –" Sanji's foot hit my jaw.

"What a bone shattering kick," I said, nursing my injured face.

"Good job," Chopper congratulated me as he came from the forest. Usopp and Franky shuffled out shortly afterwards.

"So I guess we're all stuck with his dreaded skull jokes," Usopp rolled his eyes.

"Dreaded?" I questioned.

"I might just have to kick your ass if I hear a skull joke anytime soon," Usopp assured me.

There was a small pause, but I couldn't help it despite the threat:

"Too bad I don't have an ass to kick! Yohoho! Skull joke!"